Confrontation

      By: Batgirl

Rating: PG-13 or MA

Disclaimer: DC comics and all other related material aren't mine. Too bad sooooo sad!

Summary: A conversation between the World's Finest brings a few humorous topics on what the writer's and animators have done to them.

Note: This is based the Batman/Superman animated universe. Which is ALWAYS such a joy! Oh yeah—heehee... HUMOR ahead!

******

One of the gloomiest days had struck. Rain, sleet, and if it had only dropped two more degrees, Gotham City would have snow. The overcast of gray clouds overheard only added to the already present dark effect that had been given to the city.

A hunched figure stay crouched on a stone gargoyle masked from view. He sat thirty two stories above the ground, his eyes watching the rain above him plummet to the streets below.

Batman's head rose for a moment as he activated his night vision lenses within his cowl. He traced the sky ahead of him and saw an approaching object. "Right on time… as usual." He mumbled to himself.

"I heard that." Came the reply of Superman as he descended to the roof. His eyes never left the dark figure. "You couldn't have picked a better day for a meeting, huh, Bruce?"

Batman shot the man a death glare. He was never one to attend these types of meetings it just wasn't him. He was more of an outsider, a loner, one who liked to be left alone to do what he did best.

"Sorry." Superman held his hands up in surrender. "I forget you're into this kind of thing."

"WHAT kind of thing?" Batman shot back almost instantly, his voice held a gravely tone. One could tell the man had early symptoms of a cold.

"The dark scenery. When I come here it's always during the night. Whenever I track someone and they just HAPPEN to be in your neck of the woods it's during the evening."

"So?" There was slight agitation. "It wouldn't look right if Batman were out running around during the day. It's not good camouflage. The crooks and thieves and villains will see me coming."

"Good point."

"What's your messed up problem?"

"EXCUSE me?"

"ALL of your adventures take place during the day."

"Not like I have that choice."

"You have royalties."

"What?"

"If you don't like it you should tell someone to make that change."

"I can't."

"Yes you can."

"No I'm serious, I can't. Superman's a public Superhero, the public EXPECT to see him during

the day to make that noble appearance."

"Phhhuttttt. That's another thing. You're a pansy. They don't let you do anything."

"They let me do THINGS."

"I do more things then you ever will."

"WAIT a minute. Did you just call me a PANSY??"

"Boy Scout."

"Oh and I bet you--"

"Do you KNOW what they call you?"

"Umm…"

"Lets make a list, shall we? 'Boy Scout', 'Super Loser',  'Big Blue', 'Big Red'—which is the name of gum AND that's kinda dumb if you think about it—'Super Pansy…"

"Heh… they don't call me 'Super Pansy'."

"You're right. I do."

"HEY!"

"Is for horses."

"Grrr…."

"Score one for Batman."

"Does this have a point?"

"I just gained two."

"What?"

"I got two points. You have one--Nevermind. Why do you wear your underwear outside of your uniform? That's VERY elaborate, you know. What if you have skid marks in there??"

"You wear your underwear outside of your costume too."

"Yeah. But I don't have skid marks."

"*I* do not have skid marks!"

"Red isn't the best color to hide them."

"For the last time, I do not--"

"Is it safe to call the fashion police now?"

"If you're wanting to call the fashion police, call them on Robin."

"Nothing's wrong with Robin's costume."

"For Dick's. Yes. His colors were too bold. Not like he could be taken seriously. He WAS a walking target."

"I realized that. Though the new design is a bit better."

"The one they draw in the comics—"

"You know they put Robin in HOT PANTS?"

"Heh. Yeah, I saw that."

"He wore stockings."

"Ha! And I'm sure he always got a run in his tights too."

"And elf shoes."

"Too bad they didn't have bells on it. At least then they'd let you know he was coming."

"Why is Supergirl flying around in a skirt?"

"Because it's how they DREW her?"

"I hope she has something under that skirt."

"I hope so too."

"She should be wearing shorts. We don't want others looking up to see a little added bonus. That outfit is too revealing."

"Heh. Though, Batgirl's is revealing."

"She's covered up."

"That suit is skin tight."

"It's for mobility."

"You can see her ASSETS!"

"Yes... yes you can. SOMETIMES… depends on the suit she's wearing."

"….whatever."

"I have no super-powers and yet they call me a super-hero."

"You have super abilities."

"I kick ass and scare the living crap out of people."

"And amazingly enough the censors allow that and the scum fall for it. Tsk, tsk… it's a pitty."

"The censors won't let us show blood. They barely show bruises."

"They let me draw blood."

"When you banged your lip up."

"Yeah."

"You got heh... mad because the peroxide hurt when you put it on. Heh... Wimp."

"Superman's--"

"…a whimp. WHEN will Lois get a clue to whom you really are? Dang. Glasses. WHAT a BRILLANT disguise."

"I need those glasses to see."

"Suuure, you do."

"I DO."

"The first pair of glasses they gave Clark Kent in the movies had no lenses."

"Well, they do now."

"And you can't see?"

"No."

"…………"

"They way they portray you…"

"What about it….?"

"Bruce Wayne. Apparently he's slept around and has a long track record."

"So?"

"You're PROUD of that?"

"Maybe."

"You DO know disease comes with sex."

"I'm clean."

"Do you use a rubber?"

"Carry them un my utility belt. It's a weapon I use."

"Condoms are a weapon?"

"They're deadly if used right."

"I DON'T think I wanted to hear that."

"SPEAKING of clean. You still have that skid mark in your underwear. Heh… 'I'm Superman and I crap super poo'."

"Arugh. There's NO skid mark there—oh."

"See? Told ya."

[End]