A crowd of WWF Superstars sat gathered at a local bar, chewing the fat about their matches, out-of-character lives, how many pixels they had in the latest WWF video game, and whatever else happened to cross their minds.
"....So I says to the guy, I says, what is this, the nWo?"
A few men burst out laughing, mostly the ones that had consumed the most alcohol. The rest were left wondering if the joke went over their heads or if the teller was too pickled to tell it right.
"I've had root canals that are funnier than that, junior," the Living Legend, Larger than Life, Undisputed WWF Champion, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree, Chris Jericho said.
"Ah, you Canadadian guys wouldn't know a good joke if it bit you on the ass," a very inebriated Jeff Hardy quipped.
"Canadian."
"Thats what I said. Canadadian."
"Think that hair dye finally got into his brain," Edge commented.
"Whats wrong with you guys?" Jeff asked quite innocently, "You're Canadadians. You come from Canadia. You should be proud of it!"
"And this road scholar goes to the hotel with Lita every night. What's that all aboot, can anyone tell me?!" Test ranted.
"Um, Jeff, baby, maybe you've had one too many to drink," Trish said, trying to contain her laughter.
"Wait, say that again? I think I'm missing something," Matt Hardy interrupted.
"Canadadian." Jeff said slowly. "Noun. One who comes from Canadia."
"Sounds right to me," Matt concluded with a hiccup.
"Hick," Christian fake coughed.
"I heard that, ya French wannabe!" Jeff suddenly exploded.
"Hey! Canadi--CANADA is its own damn country!"
"Totally! I mean, calling Canadians French wannabes is like calling Horsemen Country the reekazoid capitol of the world!"
"Don't talk shit about Horsemen Country, you horse-face!"
"Uh, Jeff, I thought he was the horse-face."
"You can't call me that! I have immunity! Neener neener neeeeneeeerrrr..."
"I mean, North Carolina. The people there make Stephanie McMahon look halfway decent."
"We all know you're banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, Jericho, so WILL YOU PLEASE......SHUT THE...SHUT UP!"
"But North Carolina!" Test continued, "Just aboot the only good thing that came from North Carolina was..."
"Petey Pablo," Lance Storm finished. The odd looks he recieved went unnoticed, as he was also plastered.
By now the small dispute had become a drunken shouting match, and was drawing the attention of most of the WWF roster. Those peacekeeping pub patrons, the APA, had to restrain the Hardy Boyz as the petty insults escalated into challenges being laid out.
"What in the hell is going on here?" HHH demanded, standing up and commanding the attention of everyone who was still sober enough to pay attention.
"Ah shaddap, ya Greenwhich punk! You're practically one of them!"
"One of who?"
"The Canadadians!"
"Yeah! The Game is practically one of us!" Christian agreed, slinging his arm over HHH's shoulder.
"I mean, anyone who talks that funny has to be a Canadadian. 'I've not been suspended from anything'....'I've not seen Chyna's Playboy spread'...Dude, the word is 'I HAVEN'T.' It's a con-- a con-- a contraption of HAVE and NOT."
"Listen you piece of Dirty South trash-uh..., don't get in my face for being the only educated wrestler in this damn bar-uh..."
"Damn," Faarooq exclaimed, "Now you went and got him started with the '-uh'."
"Yeah," Edge added, "Now before he whips out a sledgehammer, let's either forget this whole misunderstanding, or..."
"Or you Canadadians put your less-than-the-U.S.-dollar money where your mouths are!"
"Hey, you want some of us, you got it!"
"Yeah! When we're done with you, we're donna dye your hair like the Maple Leaf, Hardy!"
"What?"
"I said: When we're done with you, we're gon--"
"WHAT?"
"Didn't you hea--"
"WHAT?!"
Presently, the crowd of Superstars parted like the Red Sea to reveal none other than the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck paced around the room for a while, keeping every eye in the room that wasn't already glazed over on him.
"Look atcha," he finally spit out. "Oh Canada, Oh Canada, WHAT? Yer pathetic! Got chips on your shoulders, all of ya. WHAT? I damn near got my neck broken by a Canadian sumbitch*! WHAT?!"
And so it was decided. The Canadian WWF Superstars challenged any and all American WWF Superstars to a Street Fight at that very same bar in one week's time. But of course, since the Americans greatly outnumbered the Canadians, they would have to select a proud few to represent them all.
* - May he rest in peace.
"....So I says to the guy, I says, what is this, the nWo?"
A few men burst out laughing, mostly the ones that had consumed the most alcohol. The rest were left wondering if the joke went over their heads or if the teller was too pickled to tell it right.
"I've had root canals that are funnier than that, junior," the Living Legend, Larger than Life, Undisputed WWF Champion, and a Partridge in a Pear Tree, Chris Jericho said.
"Ah, you Canadadian guys wouldn't know a good joke if it bit you on the ass," a very inebriated Jeff Hardy quipped.
"Canadian."
"Thats what I said. Canadadian."
"Think that hair dye finally got into his brain," Edge commented.
"Whats wrong with you guys?" Jeff asked quite innocently, "You're Canadadians. You come from Canadia. You should be proud of it!"
"And this road scholar goes to the hotel with Lita every night. What's that all aboot, can anyone tell me?!" Test ranted.
"Um, Jeff, baby, maybe you've had one too many to drink," Trish said, trying to contain her laughter.
"Wait, say that again? I think I'm missing something," Matt Hardy interrupted.
"Canadadian." Jeff said slowly. "Noun. One who comes from Canadia."
"Sounds right to me," Matt concluded with a hiccup.
"Hick," Christian fake coughed.
"I heard that, ya French wannabe!" Jeff suddenly exploded.
"Hey! Canadi--CANADA is its own damn country!"
"Totally! I mean, calling Canadians French wannabes is like calling Horsemen Country the reekazoid capitol of the world!"
"Don't talk shit about Horsemen Country, you horse-face!"
"Uh, Jeff, I thought he was the horse-face."
"You can't call me that! I have immunity! Neener neener neeeeneeeerrrr..."
"I mean, North Carolina. The people there make Stephanie McMahon look halfway decent."
"We all know you're banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, Jericho, so WILL YOU PLEASE......SHUT THE...SHUT UP!"
"But North Carolina!" Test continued, "Just aboot the only good thing that came from North Carolina was..."
"Petey Pablo," Lance Storm finished. The odd looks he recieved went unnoticed, as he was also plastered.
By now the small dispute had become a drunken shouting match, and was drawing the attention of most of the WWF roster. Those peacekeeping pub patrons, the APA, had to restrain the Hardy Boyz as the petty insults escalated into challenges being laid out.
"What in the hell is going on here?" HHH demanded, standing up and commanding the attention of everyone who was still sober enough to pay attention.
"Ah shaddap, ya Greenwhich punk! You're practically one of them!"
"One of who?"
"The Canadadians!"
"Yeah! The Game is practically one of us!" Christian agreed, slinging his arm over HHH's shoulder.
"I mean, anyone who talks that funny has to be a Canadadian. 'I've not been suspended from anything'....'I've not seen Chyna's Playboy spread'...Dude, the word is 'I HAVEN'T.' It's a con-- a con-- a contraption of HAVE and NOT."
"Listen you piece of Dirty South trash-uh..., don't get in my face for being the only educated wrestler in this damn bar-uh..."
"Damn," Faarooq exclaimed, "Now you went and got him started with the '-uh'."
"Yeah," Edge added, "Now before he whips out a sledgehammer, let's either forget this whole misunderstanding, or..."
"Or you Canadadians put your less-than-the-U.S.-dollar money where your mouths are!"
"Hey, you want some of us, you got it!"
"Yeah! When we're done with you, we're donna dye your hair like the Maple Leaf, Hardy!"
"What?"
"I said: When we're done with you, we're gon--"
"WHAT?"
"Didn't you hea--"
"WHAT?!"
Presently, the crowd of Superstars parted like the Red Sea to reveal none other than the Texas Rattlesnake, Stone Cold Steve Austin. The Bionic Redneck paced around the room for a while, keeping every eye in the room that wasn't already glazed over on him.
"Look atcha," he finally spit out. "Oh Canada, Oh Canada, WHAT? Yer pathetic! Got chips on your shoulders, all of ya. WHAT? I damn near got my neck broken by a Canadian sumbitch*! WHAT?!"
And so it was decided. The Canadian WWF Superstars challenged any and all American WWF Superstars to a Street Fight at that very same bar in one week's time. But of course, since the Americans greatly outnumbered the Canadians, they would have to select a proud few to represent them all.
* - May he rest in peace.
