1 Chapter 2: 16 years later
Dear Journal,
It's been exactly 6 months ago today that my dad passed away. He died of a heart attack on November 13th. It's April 13th and it's my 18th birthday. I don't want to be here right now. My mom insisted on having a birthday party for me, just mom, Chrissy, Gilbert, Matt and Jeff. Which is good because I don't want a big birthday party. They are all downstairs getting the party ready. Matt, Jeff and Chrissy are watching TV in the living room, while mom and Gilbert are in the kitchen making dinner. I am here in my room writing how I feel about my feelings. It's really hard for me to celebrate my birthday because I was really close to my dad and he's not here to celebrate my birthday with me!! It really sucks!!!! Another thing that sucks is that I like Matt a lot. What am I supposed to do? I wish dad were here to tell me what to do. I don't know how he feels about me. I mean, Matt looks incredible. Should I tell me? I don't want to risk our friendship. Just lately, Matt and I have gotten closer a lot. I don't know what that means, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt Jeff, too. Just the other day, he told me that he liked me a lot. I don't know what to do because I like Matt and not Jeff. Dad, give me a sign to tell me what I am supposed to do. Look, I must go, there's someone knocking on my bedroom door.
Angel
"Who is it?" I asked as I put my journal under my pillow.
"It's me, Matt. May I come in?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, come in," I looked down because my eyes were puffy and red.
"What's the matter? I know that you've been crying," replied Matt as he closed the door.
He always could read me, no matter how hard I try to tell him that I am fine. We became very close; I could always talk to him about anything.
"It's been 6 months since my dad died," I whispered, still not looking at him.
He came and lifted my chin and kneeled so that we were eye level, "I know that you are going through a hard time and that you're close to your father, but your father would want you to have fun today, since, it's your birthday."
"I don't want to have fun, I'd rather stay in my bedroom and sulk. I miss my dad so much!!!!" I started to cry
Matt pulled me in a hug, "Sunshine, it's ok to miss your father, but it's time to move on!!! It's been six months. Your father wants you to live your life in the memory of him. That's all he wants from you, ok?" Sunshine was Matt's nickname for me. He always called me that because I always brought sunshine to him, no matter how he's feeling.
"Ok, I'll try to move on for dad," I said while the crying subsided.
We were now nose to nose and I wanted to kiss him so bad. I have liked him so much and I wanted us to be more than friends. I didn't know how he felt about me. Before I opened my mouth, Matt gave me a kiss and it wasn't just a birthday kiss. It was a passionate kiss. That's when I knew that I had to tell him. I didn't back away; I kissed him back. His hands were stroking my back. I loved the feeling of it, which made me moan a little. Matt broke off the kiss, "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that!"
"No, it's ok. I liked it. Matt I need to tell you something," as I looked down.
"What is it?"
"Matt, I like you a lot. I want us to be more than friends, but I wasn't sure how you felt about me," I said as I looked into his eyes.
"Sunshine, I like you a lot, too, but the only way to find out how I feel about you is to read what I gave you for your birthday present, ok? Don't worry! It's nothing bad, ok?" Matt asked
"Yeah, ok. Let's go!" We came downstairs and sat down for dinner, just talking away and having fun. For the first time, I enjoyed myself. Just then I felt something, a light push. That's when I knew that Dad had answered my struggle and I never been clear before. While I was thinking, Mom had gone into the kitchen to get the cake.
"Ok, time for cake!" Mom exclaimed, as she brought out the cake from the kitchen.
"Alright, let's sing, shall we?" Then everyone started singing Happy Birthday to me.
"Alright, Angel close your eyes and make a wish!" I did close my eyes and made a wish and blew the candles out.
"What did you wish for?" Chrissy asked
"None of your business, Chrissy!" I told her.
"Awwww, you're no fun!" as she whined, I stuck my tongue out at her.
Then I started to open all my presents.
Mom had given me a diamond necklace that I always wanted, "Mom, thank you so much! You didn't have to buy me this!"
"You're welcome! I wanted to give that to you! I know how you always admired that necklace!" I gave her a bear hug and I had tears in my eyes.
Chrissy gave a framed photo of the two of us together. "Chrissy, thank you! I will always treasure this!!" as I gave her a hug.
"You're welcome!" as she smiled.
Gilbert gave me a $50 gift certificate to my all-time favorite clothing store, Hot Topic. "Aaaaahhhh! Gilbert, I love you so much!!! But how can you afford this: $50 gift certificate to Hot Topic? Thank you!" I squealed as I gave him a big hug
"It's no problem. You are like a daughter I never had and I wanted to spoil you!" Gilbert smiled at me.
Jeff had given me a mixed CD of all of my favorite songs. "Jeff, this is so sweet!!! Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome!" as we smiled to each other.
Matt was the last person to give me a present, which was a teddy bear that looked it was holding something. I looked at Matt, "Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome. Why don't you open the letter? I wrote something for you and read out loud so that everyone can hear." Matt replied.
"Sunshine, from the first day that we met, I was impressed to see how smart you were. Even today, you still amaze me with your intelligence and your athletic nature. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about our friendship. We've grown so much together; we talked about different things. You were there for me when my mom passed away as I was there for you when your dad passed away. One thing is for sure: we have so much in common, yet you can be your own person. I just hope that you feel the same as I feel for you. Angel, what I am trying to say is: Will you be my girlfriend?" as I finished reading that, I had tears in my eyes. I looked at him and said, "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend!" I walked up to him and kissed him. As we broke off, he put a promise ring on my middle finger on my left hand. I looked at mom and she was thrilled and she had tears in her eyes as well as Chrissy.
Dear Journal,
It's been exactly 6 months ago today that my dad passed away. He died of a heart attack on November 13th. It's April 13th and it's my 18th birthday. I don't want to be here right now. My mom insisted on having a birthday party for me, just mom, Chrissy, Gilbert, Matt and Jeff. Which is good because I don't want a big birthday party. They are all downstairs getting the party ready. Matt, Jeff and Chrissy are watching TV in the living room, while mom and Gilbert are in the kitchen making dinner. I am here in my room writing how I feel about my feelings. It's really hard for me to celebrate my birthday because I was really close to my dad and he's not here to celebrate my birthday with me!! It really sucks!!!! Another thing that sucks is that I like Matt a lot. What am I supposed to do? I wish dad were here to tell me what to do. I don't know how he feels about me. I mean, Matt looks incredible. Should I tell me? I don't want to risk our friendship. Just lately, Matt and I have gotten closer a lot. I don't know what that means, but at the same time, I don't want to hurt Jeff, too. Just the other day, he told me that he liked me a lot. I don't know what to do because I like Matt and not Jeff. Dad, give me a sign to tell me what I am supposed to do. Look, I must go, there's someone knocking on my bedroom door.
Angel
"Who is it?" I asked as I put my journal under my pillow.
"It's me, Matt. May I come in?" Matt asked.
"Yeah, come in," I looked down because my eyes were puffy and red.
"What's the matter? I know that you've been crying," replied Matt as he closed the door.
He always could read me, no matter how hard I try to tell him that I am fine. We became very close; I could always talk to him about anything.
"It's been 6 months since my dad died," I whispered, still not looking at him.
He came and lifted my chin and kneeled so that we were eye level, "I know that you are going through a hard time and that you're close to your father, but your father would want you to have fun today, since, it's your birthday."
"I don't want to have fun, I'd rather stay in my bedroom and sulk. I miss my dad so much!!!!" I started to cry
Matt pulled me in a hug, "Sunshine, it's ok to miss your father, but it's time to move on!!! It's been six months. Your father wants you to live your life in the memory of him. That's all he wants from you, ok?" Sunshine was Matt's nickname for me. He always called me that because I always brought sunshine to him, no matter how he's feeling.
"Ok, I'll try to move on for dad," I said while the crying subsided.
We were now nose to nose and I wanted to kiss him so bad. I have liked him so much and I wanted us to be more than friends. I didn't know how he felt about me. Before I opened my mouth, Matt gave me a kiss and it wasn't just a birthday kiss. It was a passionate kiss. That's when I knew that I had to tell him. I didn't back away; I kissed him back. His hands were stroking my back. I loved the feeling of it, which made me moan a little. Matt broke off the kiss, "I'm sorry! I shouldn't have done that!"
"No, it's ok. I liked it. Matt I need to tell you something," as I looked down.
"What is it?"
"Matt, I like you a lot. I want us to be more than friends, but I wasn't sure how you felt about me," I said as I looked into his eyes.
"Sunshine, I like you a lot, too, but the only way to find out how I feel about you is to read what I gave you for your birthday present, ok? Don't worry! It's nothing bad, ok?" Matt asked
"Yeah, ok. Let's go!" We came downstairs and sat down for dinner, just talking away and having fun. For the first time, I enjoyed myself. Just then I felt something, a light push. That's when I knew that Dad had answered my struggle and I never been clear before. While I was thinking, Mom had gone into the kitchen to get the cake.
"Ok, time for cake!" Mom exclaimed, as she brought out the cake from the kitchen.
"Alright, let's sing, shall we?" Then everyone started singing Happy Birthday to me.
"Alright, Angel close your eyes and make a wish!" I did close my eyes and made a wish and blew the candles out.
"What did you wish for?" Chrissy asked
"None of your business, Chrissy!" I told her.
"Awwww, you're no fun!" as she whined, I stuck my tongue out at her.
Then I started to open all my presents.
Mom had given me a diamond necklace that I always wanted, "Mom, thank you so much! You didn't have to buy me this!"
"You're welcome! I wanted to give that to you! I know how you always admired that necklace!" I gave her a bear hug and I had tears in my eyes.
Chrissy gave a framed photo of the two of us together. "Chrissy, thank you! I will always treasure this!!" as I gave her a hug.
"You're welcome!" as she smiled.
Gilbert gave me a $50 gift certificate to my all-time favorite clothing store, Hot Topic. "Aaaaahhhh! Gilbert, I love you so much!!! But how can you afford this: $50 gift certificate to Hot Topic? Thank you!" I squealed as I gave him a big hug
"It's no problem. You are like a daughter I never had and I wanted to spoil you!" Gilbert smiled at me.
Jeff had given me a mixed CD of all of my favorite songs. "Jeff, this is so sweet!!! Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome!" as we smiled to each other.
Matt was the last person to give me a present, which was a teddy bear that looked it was holding something. I looked at Matt, "Thank you so much!"
"You're welcome. Why don't you open the letter? I wrote something for you and read out loud so that everyone can hear." Matt replied.
"Sunshine, from the first day that we met, I was impressed to see how smart you were. Even today, you still amaze me with your intelligence and your athletic nature. I just wanted to let you know how I feel about our friendship. We've grown so much together; we talked about different things. You were there for me when my mom passed away as I was there for you when your dad passed away. One thing is for sure: we have so much in common, yet you can be your own person. I just hope that you feel the same as I feel for you. Angel, what I am trying to say is: Will you be my girlfriend?" as I finished reading that, I had tears in my eyes. I looked at him and said, "Yes, I'll be your girlfriend!" I walked up to him and kissed him. As we broke off, he put a promise ring on my middle finger on my left hand. I looked at mom and she was thrilled and she had tears in her eyes as well as Chrissy.
