Rapunzel
*I do not own the stroy of Rapunzel. I just added some things to make it more funny.*
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Narrator: Once upon a time in a land of hills and gardens, a husband and his wife lived in a small, but snug, cottage. They were good people and they got along with everyone in the village.
Witch: Ahhem!
Narrator: Well. Almost everyone. They had everything they needed in their lives. Except for one thing. They had no children. Then one day the wife came home with wonderful news.
Wife: I lave wonderful news!
Narrator: Is there an echo in here?
Wife: I'm going to have a baby!
Narrator: They were so happy they hugged and laughed. They started thinking of what to call the new baby. The next day, the wife spent the whole morning in the kitchen thinking of possible names. She then began to stare out the window of their house, into the garden below. Her eyes opened with amazement. She realized she was staring at a bed of the most beautiful, tempting turnips she had ever seen. That's right people. Turnips. They were full, ripe and she was aching to eat one. Her desire to eat a turnip became so great that she refused to eat any other food, and she began to grow pale and weak.
Wife: I will not be happy until I have those turnips from the garden below.
Narrator: The wife said.
Wife: Don't interupt me!
Narrator: Whatever you say lady.
Wife: Anyway. If I don't have some, I know I will die.
Narrator: The husband was terrified. He knew it was very important for his wife to eat something soon or she and their coming baby would both die. But no one had ever gone into that garden before. And do you know why?
Amania: Uhhh, because the garden belonged to an evil witch?
Narrator: Because it was the property of an evil old wi... Wait a minute. How did you know that?
Amania: Lets just say that the only person to check out the book Rapunzel, at my old school, at least a thousand times was myself.
Narrator: Well, whatever. I'm the one telling the stroy ok?
Amania: Whatever.
Narrator: Anyway. If she caught anyone in her garden, the rumors were that she did horrible, terrible things to them. But this was an emergency. So, of he went to the witch's garden. Early that evening, the husband climbed the wall and jumped down. He quickly uprooted several turnips, ran back to the fence, climbed back over it, and went upstairs. Sounds like hard work, doesn't it? Makes me tired just talking about that. His wife was overjoyed.
Wife: These turnips are so beutiful! And I bet they taste even better.
Narrator: She then quickly chopped them up, and cooked them. And then, she and her husband ate them for dinner.
Husband: Those were good! Now are you happy?
Wife: For this one night, yes! But tomorrow I will need even more. I must have more turnips! More I say!
Narrator: The husband moaned.
Husband: WHAT! More?!
Narrator: The husband would have to risk his safety aganin tomorrow, and bring back more turnips for his wife. The following afternoon, he again leaped over the fence, and started pulling turnips from the ground. Suddenly, a voice came from behind him. He whiped around. He was then face to face with the ugliest woman he had ever seen.
Witch: Hey! Who are you calling ugly?!
Narrator: I'm just calling it as I see it.
Witch: Why you little!
Narrator: Anyway, she had hardly any teeth, her skin was wrinkled, her eyes were yellow, and they didn't blink.
Witch: So you are the turnip thief! I shall now punish you for your crime! And that little narrator guy who thinks I'm ugly.
Narrator: Humph. I liked to see her try! She was then prepared to place a curse on the HUSBAND! Not the narrator, but then the husband said:
Husband: No, please, forgive me.
Narrator: Falling to his knees.
Husband: I only took these turnips because my wife is going to have a baby soon and she said she would die if she didn't have some of your, wonderful, turnips you have.
Narrator: The witch paused. Her anger eased.
Witch: That is different. In that case, you may take as many turnips as you wish.
Husband: Thank you so much.
Narrator: The husband said as he got to his feet.
Witch: I have one demand, however.
Narrator: Added the witch.
Husband: A demand? *Uh oh. Here it comes.*
Narrator: He knew that the witch was about to say something that would be terrible. Just awful.
Witch: Yes. In exchange for the turnips, you are to give me your child as soon as your wife gives birth. I will take care of it, as if I were its true mother.
Amania: Now I know you are not supposed to call anything an "It" but only to be meen. Sorry for interupting again.
Narrator: Yes. Now you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Amania: You are not Anne. And that was certenly not funny!
Narrator: The husband was shocked. But his wife would die without the turnips. I certinly dought that. So he had no other choice but to agree to the witch's demand. A few weeks later, the wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The witch arived in the middle of the night and took the baby away.
Witch: I shall call you Rapunzel.
Narrator: The witch said to the baby girl in her arms. The witch chuckled. She was laughing becaue the turnips the wife had craved were called Rapunzel turnips, so Rapunzel was a fitting name for the child. As time passed, Rapunzel grew to become the most beautiful girl in the entire realm. The witch moved her to a castle far out in the countryside. Because Rapunel was so beautiful, the witch did not want other people to see or be around her, especially young me. I- I mean men. Sorry about that. So the witch made Rapunzel live in a tower, which you might have guessed, for those people who have read this stroy a thousand times, that had no stairs no doors and only one window at the very top. You know the drill. Each day, when the witch wanted to enter the tower, she would call up:
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
Let down your hair!
Narrator: Because, Rapunzel had the most beautiful, longest hair in all the world, and it was also the color of gold. When Rapunzel heard the witch call out those words, she would unloose her braids and let her hair out through the window, the entire way down to the ground. The Old hag would...
Witch: There you go again. Calling people names. I really should put a spell on you!
Narrator: The OLD HAG would climb up the side of the tower, pulling on Rapunzel's hair like a rope, until she reached the window.
Rapunzel: Does any body have any asprin?
Amania: How about a lifetime supply of it? Would that work?
Rapunzel: Thanks. That might help.
Narrator: Rapunzel's life went on like this for the next few years. She never left the tower. She never met anyone, other than the witch.
*That's all for now. I will update this story later.* =)
*I do not own the stroy of Rapunzel. I just added some things to make it more funny.*
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Narrator: Once upon a time in a land of hills and gardens, a husband and his wife lived in a small, but snug, cottage. They were good people and they got along with everyone in the village.
Witch: Ahhem!
Narrator: Well. Almost everyone. They had everything they needed in their lives. Except for one thing. They had no children. Then one day the wife came home with wonderful news.
Wife: I lave wonderful news!
Narrator: Is there an echo in here?
Wife: I'm going to have a baby!
Narrator: They were so happy they hugged and laughed. They started thinking of what to call the new baby. The next day, the wife spent the whole morning in the kitchen thinking of possible names. She then began to stare out the window of their house, into the garden below. Her eyes opened with amazement. She realized she was staring at a bed of the most beautiful, tempting turnips she had ever seen. That's right people. Turnips. They were full, ripe and she was aching to eat one. Her desire to eat a turnip became so great that she refused to eat any other food, and she began to grow pale and weak.
Wife: I will not be happy until I have those turnips from the garden below.
Narrator: The wife said.
Wife: Don't interupt me!
Narrator: Whatever you say lady.
Wife: Anyway. If I don't have some, I know I will die.
Narrator: The husband was terrified. He knew it was very important for his wife to eat something soon or she and their coming baby would both die. But no one had ever gone into that garden before. And do you know why?
Amania: Uhhh, because the garden belonged to an evil witch?
Narrator: Because it was the property of an evil old wi... Wait a minute. How did you know that?
Amania: Lets just say that the only person to check out the book Rapunzel, at my old school, at least a thousand times was myself.
Narrator: Well, whatever. I'm the one telling the stroy ok?
Amania: Whatever.
Narrator: Anyway. If she caught anyone in her garden, the rumors were that she did horrible, terrible things to them. But this was an emergency. So, of he went to the witch's garden. Early that evening, the husband climbed the wall and jumped down. He quickly uprooted several turnips, ran back to the fence, climbed back over it, and went upstairs. Sounds like hard work, doesn't it? Makes me tired just talking about that. His wife was overjoyed.
Wife: These turnips are so beutiful! And I bet they taste even better.
Narrator: She then quickly chopped them up, and cooked them. And then, she and her husband ate them for dinner.
Husband: Those were good! Now are you happy?
Wife: For this one night, yes! But tomorrow I will need even more. I must have more turnips! More I say!
Narrator: The husband moaned.
Husband: WHAT! More?!
Narrator: The husband would have to risk his safety aganin tomorrow, and bring back more turnips for his wife. The following afternoon, he again leaped over the fence, and started pulling turnips from the ground. Suddenly, a voice came from behind him. He whiped around. He was then face to face with the ugliest woman he had ever seen.
Witch: Hey! Who are you calling ugly?!
Narrator: I'm just calling it as I see it.
Witch: Why you little!
Narrator: Anyway, she had hardly any teeth, her skin was wrinkled, her eyes were yellow, and they didn't blink.
Witch: So you are the turnip thief! I shall now punish you for your crime! And that little narrator guy who thinks I'm ugly.
Narrator: Humph. I liked to see her try! She was then prepared to place a curse on the HUSBAND! Not the narrator, but then the husband said:
Husband: No, please, forgive me.
Narrator: Falling to his knees.
Husband: I only took these turnips because my wife is going to have a baby soon and she said she would die if she didn't have some of your, wonderful, turnips you have.
Narrator: The witch paused. Her anger eased.
Witch: That is different. In that case, you may take as many turnips as you wish.
Husband: Thank you so much.
Narrator: The husband said as he got to his feet.
Witch: I have one demand, however.
Narrator: Added the witch.
Husband: A demand? *Uh oh. Here it comes.*
Narrator: He knew that the witch was about to say something that would be terrible. Just awful.
Witch: Yes. In exchange for the turnips, you are to give me your child as soon as your wife gives birth. I will take care of it, as if I were its true mother.
Amania: Now I know you are not supposed to call anything an "It" but only to be meen. Sorry for interupting again.
Narrator: Yes. Now you are the weakest link. Goodbye.
Amania: You are not Anne. And that was certenly not funny!
Narrator: The husband was shocked. But his wife would die without the turnips. I certinly dought that. So he had no other choice but to agree to the witch's demand. A few weeks later, the wife gave birth to a beautiful baby girl. The witch arived in the middle of the night and took the baby away.
Witch: I shall call you Rapunzel.
Narrator: The witch said to the baby girl in her arms. The witch chuckled. She was laughing becaue the turnips the wife had craved were called Rapunzel turnips, so Rapunzel was a fitting name for the child. As time passed, Rapunzel grew to become the most beautiful girl in the entire realm. The witch moved her to a castle far out in the countryside. Because Rapunel was so beautiful, the witch did not want other people to see or be around her, especially young me. I- I mean men. Sorry about that. So the witch made Rapunzel live in a tower, which you might have guessed, for those people who have read this stroy a thousand times, that had no stairs no doors and only one window at the very top. You know the drill. Each day, when the witch wanted to enter the tower, she would call up:
Witch: Rapunzel, Rapunzel,
Let down your hair!
Narrator: Because, Rapunzel had the most beautiful, longest hair in all the world, and it was also the color of gold. When Rapunzel heard the witch call out those words, she would unloose her braids and let her hair out through the window, the entire way down to the ground. The Old hag would...
Witch: There you go again. Calling people names. I really should put a spell on you!
Narrator: The OLD HAG would climb up the side of the tower, pulling on Rapunzel's hair like a rope, until she reached the window.
Rapunzel: Does any body have any asprin?
Amania: How about a lifetime supply of it? Would that work?
Rapunzel: Thanks. That might help.
Narrator: Rapunzel's life went on like this for the next few years. She never left the tower. She never met anyone, other than the witch.
*That's all for now. I will update this story later.* =)
