Part Two- Gundam Wing occupations you'd never see!

Trowa as an auctioneer...
TROWA: DoIhear45454545454545?Ok!Shesaid45!DoIhear46464646?47!Hesaid47?How'bout50,folks?DoIhear50505050505050?Thankyou,ma'am!Shesaid50!How'bout55?No?Ok, then, the Heero Yuy poster goes to the little lady in the pink dress for $50!
RELENA: ^.^ YAY! I got the Heero poster! *runs up and receives it from Trowa*
DOROTHY: Dang it. It was almost mine. Too bad I was five bucks short.
SCARY FANBOY: Dang it... It was almost mine!
DOROTHY: .... ;.;
QUATRE: Wow, Trowa, I never knew you could talk so fast! You make a great auctioneer.
TROWA: .....
QUATRE: Hmm? That's strange. I thought for sure you'd be more talkative now!
TROWA: .....
QUATRE: Oh, I see. (He must save his voice for when he needs it.)

Duo as a fast food worker...
DUO: *flipping burgers* Hey, don't knock this job- it's actually pretty fun!
WUFEI: *smirk* Nice uniform... *motions to Duo's bright yellow and red outfit complete with a ridiculous beanie on his head*
DUO: Well, I happen to think I look pretty spiffy- So there! :P
CUSTOMER: Excuse me! *tapping foot impatiently*
MANAGER: Hey, you braided baka! Stop chatting with your bishie friend there and go serve the customer!
DUO: *saluting* Yes, Sir!
MANAGER: Don't get smart with me, or I'll reduce your pay.
DUO: *gulp* Yes, sir.
WUFEI: *evil grin* What a moron...
DUO:.... Would you like fries with that? *sigh* -.-'

Quatre as a pro-wrestler...
ANNOUNCER GUY: Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourself for the fight of a lifetime. In one corner of the ring, we have the Bishie Thrasher, weighing in at 300 pounds!
BISHIE THRASHER (BT for short): I hate baka bishonen! I will crush them all! YAH! *flexes*
ANNOUNCER: He sure looks like he could do some damage, doesn't he? In the other corner, we have a blond bishonen who says he's only "fighting for peace."
AUDIENCE: Awwwww!!!!
ANNOUNCER: Iiiiitttttt'sss Quatre Rebaerba Winner!
QUATRE: *gulp* Um, hi...
BT: I'm gonna wipe the floor with you, you silly little girly man made out of wood!
QUATRE: *sweatdrop* What?!?
BT: Baka bishonen ki!
QUATRE: Oh... But I-I don't wanna fight! This is supposed to be a peaceful time!
DOROTHY (Quatre's coach): Come on, baby, you can do it! You're a star! *rubs Quatre's shoulders and hands him a bottled water* Go in there and kick Big Boy's butt!
QUATRE: But I don't wanna kick his butt! *sniffle*
DOROTHY: What if I told you that he has his own army of mobile suits poised to take over the world and terminate pacifism for future generations?
QUATRE: Well, when you put it that way... @_@ He's gotta DIE!!!!!
DOROTHY: :) Good boy, Quatre! Now go get that tub of lard!
*she pushes Quatre into the ring*
DING! DING!
ANNOUNCER: Lllllletttttt'sssss get ready to rumblllllleeeeeee!!!!!!
DOROTHY: Gosh, he's annoying... -_-'
QUATRE: @_@ Heh heh... I'll destroy everything... Heh heh...
BT: What is he talking about? He's a wimp! YAAAAHHHHH!!!! *charges Quatre*
QUATRE: I'LL DESTROY YOU! *charges Thrasher*
*They collide with a big thud, and Quatre ends up underneath the humongous Bishie Thrasher*
QUATRE: *squash! splat!* Oof... @.@ *unnatural crunching sounds are also heard*
ANNOUNCER: *winces* Oooh! That's gotta hurt!
AUDIENCE: Oooohhh!!!!
DOROTHY: NO! Quatre! Fight back!
REFERIE: 1...2...3... The winner is the Bishie Thrasher!
BT: *leaps up triumphantly* I did it! I thrashed a bishie! Hahahaha!!!! :D
DOROTHY: Quatre, are you all right?
QUATRE: @.@ Ohhh..... *falls over, dizzy*
DOROTHY: *catches him* It's okay, champ, it was just one bad fight. You can keep going.
QUATRE: No... I'm not cut out to be a wrestler if I can't even fight back!... Ugh... @.@
DOROTHY: Then come back and squish him in Sandrock!
QUATRE: I wish...
DOROTHY: What's that?! You mean you want to fight him again?!
QUATRE: No! I never said that!
DOROTHY: Yes, you said you wished you could squish him in Sandrock!
QUATRE: No I didn't!
DOROTHY: Come on, champ, no time to waste! ^_^ We've got to train you for the next fight!
QUATRE: Nooo!!!! ;_;'

Wufei as a teacher...
WUFEI: Okay, class, let's begin. Please take out your notebooks and follow along... if you can. *smirk*
*begins on a very long lecture about war with no intention of pausing*
STUDENT#1: Mr. Chang!
WUFEI: How dare you interrupt me like that! Raise your hand first!
STUDENT#1: Gomen! *raises hand*
WUFEI: That's better. Now, what?
STUDENT#1: Could you repeat the part about the peace coalition?
WUFEI: WHAT?!
STUDENT#1: Umm... *sweatdrop* I asked you to repeat the part about-
WUFEI: I head what you said, Baka! But there are no repeats in my class! Get out!!!
STUDENT#1: But, Mr. Chang-
WUFEI: I SAID GET OUT!!!
STUDENT#1: Yipes!!! *runs out of the room*
WUFEI: *takes a deep breath and returns to normal* All right, then. Any more questions?
CLASS: ........
WUFEI: I didn't think so. *evil smile* As I was saying, before I was so RUDELY interrupted...
*class continues without Wufei ever being interrupted or questioned again. However, all of the students dropped his class, so Wufei lost his job as a teacher. Oh well!*

AUTHOR (Aerie): Hmmm? What next?
RELENA: You haven't written about Heero yet!
AERIE: So....?
RELENA: You have to put Heero in this fic!
AERIE: *raises eyebrow* Why...?
RELENA: *getting flustered* Just... 'Cause!
AERIE: I can't think of a good occupation for him.
TROWA: You can't do anything with Heero. Better just leave him alone.
AERIE: Wow! Two sentences! Impressive.
TROWA: .....
AERIE: Well, that shut you up real quick.
DUO: I know what you can do with Heero!
AERIE: What, Duo?
*Duo whispers to Aerie*
Are you sure?
DUO: Of course I'm sure! It'll be hilarious!
AERIE: Even more hilarious than you working at a fast food joint?
DUO: *thinks for a minute* Actually... No, but it'll still work!
AERIE: Ok, if you say so...

Heero as...
Barney, the brainless, kid-friendly, purple dinosaur!
TA-DAA!!!
*Heero appears in a big purple Barney suit*
HEERO: I'll kill you. *pulls gun*
DUO: Uh-oh. Not a very happy Barney, are you Heero?
BANG! BANG!
Yikes! *Duo runs away from the Perfect Soldier turned Purple Dinosaur*
AERIE: Come on, Heero, can't you take a joke? Heh heh...
HEERO: *thinks for a second*.... No!
BANG BANG!
AERIE: Ahhh!!!! *runs away*
TROWA: What'd I tell you? No one listens to me, just because they think I can't talk...
YAOI FANBOY: I'd listen to you any day, Trowa. ^.^
TROWA: Um... ;_; Gotta go...
*runs off with the others*
FANBOY: Oh, well. At least I've still got Heero here in his cute little Barney suit.
*Ka-chek*
*Heero points his gun directly at Fanboy*
HEERO: You come one step closer and I'll drill you full of lead.
FANBOY: Ohhhh, that is sooo kawaii! ^.^
HEERO: @_@' Shut up!
BANG BANG!
FANBOY: ^_^ Wow! Your shooting skills are soo cool! Heero, you are my favorite anime character!
HEERO: -_-'
RELENA: Heero! Oh, Heero, I've found you! What have they done to you?
FANBOY: AHHH!!! It's Relena- RUN!!! *scampers off*
RELENA: Umm... What was that about?
HEERO: You don't want to know...

We'd better just end it there, before Heero gets angrier! I suppose I could have written about the other
characters in the show, but I only felt like covering the five pilots. So, what's next?
A kareoke contest, perhaps. *evil grin* Hehe... We'll see...
~Aerie