He woke up slowly to a dull rumbling in his stomach. But this was not hunger. It took him only a few moments to comprehend the full range of sensations, the dry murky sleep he had now always took him a few minutes to free himself of.

He wondered idly if he would ever sleep normally again, if he would ever dream again, and what things would come to him in those dreams if they did return.

His stomach twisted again. The phantom sensation was so annoying, it would keep him awake-- pull him away from the dark muddy sleep he enjoyed-- and persistently demand his attention.

He could feel the darkness was close now, stalking him again because he was ignoring it and had been for several days.

Subaru lifted his upper body back onto his arms, his skin brushing up against something soft and solid beside him. It startled him because he had not even detected the other's presence before this, and he reached instinctively for the ofuda hidden by his side.

He stopped, almost sighing lightly as he recognized the person beside him.

It was only Rocky.

Subaru sat up, the covers and sheets sliding from body slowly like he was emerging from a pool of water. He yawned and leaned back against the pillows a bit, his soft cream skin glowing in the moonlight from the window.

Funny he could have sworn he closed the shades before.

He shrugged it off, letting his fingers crawl into Rocky's thick nest of soft gray hair. He rubbed the boy's scrap lightly, extracting a soft sigh from his slumbering guest.

Now, how the hell did he manage to get in here? Subaru wondered. His senses had been trained to response to even the smallest presence while he was asleep. The boy, especially when the boy had such a strong and obvious power in him, should never have been able to get this close to him without him knowing it.

Rocky had his own room and Subaru has his, he usually did not attempt to expand the living space they shared beyond the common rooms. Subaru could count the number of times Rocky had entered his room on one hand. And he didn't think he had ever stepped passed the threshold of Rocky's doorway.

Subaru liked to be alone, and Rocky seemed obedient enough to accept that and not attempt to change it.

There had been a few times before he had come to settle back in Tokyo permanently that Rocky sneaked into his room like this. But even during those periods of travel he always curled up at the foot of the bed, almost like a lost puppy.

Never quite like this, by Subaru's side.

Subaru wondered if he should say something about it, but what he would say ... he had no idea. He didn't particularly mind nor care one way or the other about it. He knew he should be annoyed at Rocky's intrusion, but somehow he never was. He was more or less, apathetic to the boy's presence in-- or actually on-- his bed.

Taking special care not to awaken him, Subaru slowly pulled the covers out from under the boy and tucked him into the bed. Rocky was quite curious, Subaru noted as he stood beside the sleeping boy. He was presumptuous enough to risk sneaking in to Subaru's sanctuary, but not daring enough to slip under the covers. The implied intimacy of lying in Subaru's bed, too bold for the boy.

He walked towards the window, his stomach tensing again.

He would have to do something about that soon.

"Subaru?"

He looked back towards the bed, where Rocky's guilty look met him. The boy curled up a little tighter and appeared to be waiting for Subaru's scolding. He was so much like a child still...

"It's late... go back to sleep," Subaru replied softly, his gaze shifting back to the window's view.

"It's okay?" Rocky asked nervously.

Subaru shrugged at the incomplete question, "if you want, I don't mind it."

"I'm sorry. I woke you up."

"You didn't," Subaru assured. Something entirely different did. He was definitely going to have to do something about that

But not now. Later, when Rocky was fast asleep, waiting for him at home.

Damn, he really needed a cigarette now.

"Ummm...is there something wrong Subaru?" the boy twisted with conflict.

"Iie, I just can't sleep."

"Oh..."

It occurred to Subaru that he could easily put the boy the sleep and be done with it. But somehow that seemed ... unfaithful ... like the boy deserved more honesty then that. After all Rocky always approached him with an open heart, it would be rude to close off his own so completely.

"Rocky. That's an interesting name.. what possessed you to come up with it?" Subaru asked quietly.

"Oh," the soft blue moonlight exposed the gentle blush on Rocky's cheeks. "You told me once that 'Subaru-kun' was reserved for someone special. Well, I don't want him to use my real name... or even know it."

Subaru smiled a little, "I see. Is it really that important to you?"

"I've got nothing else, Subaru."

Well ... that was one of the many things they had in common. It was a shame, Subaru thought, that they didn't share it.
------------

"Hello," Subaru greeted. The boy's mind was a rainbow of velvety darkness. A giant black fog of such intensity that should Subaru stretch out his arm his own fingers would be vague shadows on shadows. "Quite a place you have here."

"Thank you," the boy replied evenly. "Who's that?"

His long graceful finger pointed just beyond his visitor. Subaru glanced over his shoulder noticing the dark humanlike shadow to which the boy was referring. This shadow was different from the others in the boy's heart. It was not an image masked by layers of fog it was a void, a sharp hole in the form of human shape.

"An old friend," he answered.
------------

Seishirou admired elegance and had excellent tastes. It was that reserved quality in him, the part that only recognized the facts about his life and not the issues surrounding it.

Seishirou killed people.

And to most everyone, his young match included, that was a horrifying and unspeakably evil thing.

However,

Seishirou could only recognize the logical part of such emotion. In a cold, calculating way he understood that people felt horror at the thought of mass murder and of being hunted. But he could not fathom the actual emotion, only accept its presence.

He was fond of Subaru, though, because Subaru didn't understand it either.

Subaru had all these waves of emotions and he didn't understand any of them. He put himself through incredible amounts of hell for them. Feelings that he shouldn't be feeling, the shame at feeling them, the self hatred that came after that. "He should accept them for what they are," Seishirou thought with a smile.

Ah but that wouldn't make any of this nearly as much fun, he remembered. It would make the game far too easy, and Seishirou wasn't involved in this because it was the "right" thing to do. The challenge interested him. There was also the concept itself, he wanted to know if such a thing was possible or whether it was one of those theories that had no place in reality. For two people to balance each other perfectly, it was quite an idea.

Subaru was only partial correct, he had changed slightly in nine years. Seishirou had damaged his beloved prey with his games just a little.

Where as a boy he was most accepting of those vibrant emotions, now guilt had caused him to push them away.

On one hand it disturbed him, if the plan was to work they both had to play their roles flawlessly. Idiotic Sumeragi filling his Subaru with all these ideas about responsibility and 'right and wrong'.

At the very least the last night years had gotten rid of some of the ridiculous nonsense.

On the other hand, it was so amusing to stroke that tender still present love and watch Subaru shudder and try to bury it.

"Why did you come back?" Subaru asked.

"We have unfinished business to attend to."

"But what's different now than 9 years ago?"

Seishirou shrugged, "waiting for the right time I suppose. You're older ... a little more developed," he winked as Subaru frowned in disgust. "I doubt you could have played the role required of you nine years ago."

"So you're been watching me all this time then?"

"I occasionally check up on you," Seishirou remarked indifferently.

"Seishirou-san. What are you doing?"

"Having dinner with my utterly enchanting lover, Subaru-kun."

Subaru frowned, "we're not lovers."

He leaned his head up against his left arm, a casual and curious look crossing his face. There was an innocent twinge in his eyes and a softness in his smile. An almost daydreaming love sick look on his face that both of them knew was false, more teasing. "Details, details..."

"And we never will be."

"I sincerely hope that's not the case."

"Stop toying with me."

"Stop being such a tease, love."

"I'm not being a tease and if you call me love again I'm going to stab you with my chopsticks."

Seishirou backed down with a slightly amused smile, accepting the end of this battle and preparing for the next.
-------------

Rocky wavered, coming to his feet unsteadily then nearly collapsing again. He was suddenly exhausted and hallow ... like a great weight had been taking from his insides and smeared across his skin. He blinked, unable to focus his eyes.

He felt his sweat bathing his skin and weighting down a few locks of hair. Had the fever broke? he wondered. Or was it worse than before?

As his senses began to refocus he slowly became aware of Subaru's presence behind him, with one arm wrapped gently around him to steady his shaky legs.

"Are you all right?" Subaru asked softly. "Try to stand on your own ... I should check out somethings before I let you rest."

Rocky nodded, although the words were blurry in his head. He grabbed hold of the side of his bed and pulled himself out of Subaru arms, shivering as the body's heat warm caress left his bare back.

He felt dizzy, his body seemed to be distorted and strange. Something brushed up against his leg.

"You got wings now," Subaru said calmly.

"Huh?" he murmured. Everything was so fuzzy, it sounded like Subaru had said the most ridiculous thing.

"Look," Subaru guided him over to a small practical mirror by his closet. And Rocky looked.

Oh fuck...

His sleepy eyes shot open with surprise, elegant black wings curved out of his back with natural grace. They felt awkward on his back but did not look especially out of place. They looked strangely natural where they were. He stared at the image in absolute shock.

"So much power, physically manifested it was going to be something big. I thought this was the most poetic solution."

"They're cool," Rocky smiled. A smile that seemed somewhat drugged by raw exhaustion.

Subaru had not anticipated such a reaction from the boy. He had expected the boy to be horrified and furious, perhaps enough to wish the wings away. Yet the boy seemed sincerely happy with the result, fascinated by his new body parts as he slowly moved them back and forth.

He was clumsy with them and his moments were jerky and random.

"Well," Subaru shrugged. "The illness should not return, you can go back to school--"

"School?" Rocky blinked, still experimenting with his black companions and not entirely paying attention. ""I've never gone..."

"You've never been to school?" Subaru asked curiously.

The boy shook his head, bewildered by this new possibility. He tilted his head to the side, looking out toward the window where evidence of dawn was beginning to bloom. "I've never really been outside before."

That explained it, Subaru thought. The boy was so sheltered he had no idea how freakish and frightening he looked. He had no concept of the pain and rejection those black beacons would afford him.

He swallowed any sympathy he had for the boy's coming struggle. He had other things to worry about, he could feel Seishirou getting closer ... in a few hours he would be far from this place, running again. Desperately trying to find a place where Seishirou couldn't find him.

He ran his fingers over the newborn skin-- very soft-- and the boy shivered below him.

They were light and sensitive to touch, a mere collection of skin, blood and nerves, right now they would be extremely delicate. But as they aged the skin would callous, become tougher and less fragile.

"You'll have to be extremely careful with them for a couple of days." he mumbled, his fingers caressing the skin carefully-- searching for imperfections that may complicate their development.

Since the skin was still partially transparent, their color had a very slight purple highlight to it instead of the dark blackness that would take over once they tanned. There was a beautiful glow of red blood coursing through the dark webbing that would be buried. And he could feel the boy's pulse if he pressed gently. Subaru's fingers carefully followed the paths of the veins, making sure they would not block or hemorrhage.

Rocky moaned as Subaru's hand wondered up his back to explore the junction between his shoulders and their new companions. Not a loud moan of pleasure, but a slight airy sound of stimulation. Subaru ignored it, the boy was partially delirious and most likely couldn't suppress such reactions. The skin was, after all, extremely sensitive, and the careful and necessary examination was bound to bring forth a whole assortment of new sensations.

He decided the bone structure was good. The bones were light and thin-- easily broken-- but such was necessary to flight. If they were heavy and strong Rocky's wings would be nothing more than a burdensome cape of skin.

However, the bones that aligned with his shoulder-- the primary bones-- were a bit too brittle. This could be a problem if they did not grow stronger as they would have to support most of his weight in flight. "Make sure you eat correctly from now on," Subaru said. "No more of this soup diet or these bones," he ran his finger across the top ridge to illustrate, "will snap easily."

Rocky gave a disorientated nod, letting out a small gasp as Subaru's hands massaged the muscle structure surrounding those bones. The Sumeragi frowned, the tissue was soft and tender. They were healthy, but weak. He supposed the necessary strength would be built up over time.

"Subaru, I feel sick.." Rocky whimpered, trying very hard to remain on his feet.

"Sick how?" Subaru hummed, his fingers wandering back to the boy's back.

"I'm dizzy... Really dizzy... and..."

"Faint?" Subaru asked.

"Yeah..."

"That's to be expected," Subaru commented. "The area your body has to nourish with blood has nearly tripled. You'll experience symptoms of blood loss for a few hours, but provided you rest and take care of yourself ... you'll recover easily."

He paused, his fingers pressing softly at the base of Rocky's new right wing. "You can lie down for the next part if you wish. That will relieve some of the dizziness."

The boy nodded and nearly collapsed face down onto his bed with a heavy sigh. Subaru's arm caught him sternly in midfall and laid him down gently. "Careful," Subaru scolded.

"Gomen," the boy murmured softly, drifting off to sleep as he spoke.

Subaru rolled his eyes, "this maybe a little painful."

One violet eye cracked open, "Painful? How painful?"

Calmly Subaru took out a normal sewing needle. "You have my word that I'll be careful, no more than a pinch I think."

The eye drifted closed again and Subaru frowned, "don't fall asleep, this is important."

Rocky made no verbal response, his mouth shifted in confirmation.

Subaru placed his palm in the valley of Rocky's back, now flanked by two black wing, and pressed down gently. "Can you feel that?"

"Um-Hmm.."

He slid his fingers up to the base of each wing, pressing down firmly and asking, "And there?"

Rocky nodded.

Gradually Subaru's hands moved across the black silk of Rocky's wings, testing all of the nerves for their sensitivity. Rocky closed his eyes tightly, trying very hard to repress the desires that were swelling at the feel of those delicate, soft, hands flowing over his body. His shivered as Subaru's finger rubbed the very tip of one wing.

"And here?"

Rocky's answer was a soft gasp as he bit back the urge to moan.

"I'll take that as a yes," Subaru muttered, the needles clenched between his teeth.

Subaru's fingers hooked under the talon on the top of one wing. It was like a fingernail, he concluded, a hard mass of dead tissue. Nevertheless he applied pressure to it. "Anything here?"

"...not really," Rocky answered. "Should their be?"

"No," Subaru shrugged. "Just checking."

He took the pin out of his mouth and sharply poked the cuticle around the talon.

"Ow," Rocky hissed, his wing jerking backwards clumsily.

"Easy," Subaru soothed, guiding the wing back up. "I warned you."

"Well it felt so nice before..." the boy protested weakly.

Subaru grunted in response and using the needle retested the critical nerve lines. "Well there are essentially two type of nerve receptors, pressure and pain. I have to check both."

Rocky flinched, "I could deal without pain.."

The onmyouji smiled and much to the boy's surprise, bent down a lightly kissed the middle of his back. "Well pain tells you when you're in danger of getting hurt, it's necessary."

Rocky could not respond, his heart was still fluttering at the sensation of Subaru's lips pressed to his skin. God this was ridiculous, he couldn't be feeling these things, he must have lost more blood than Subaru thought... maybe he had brain damage too. But every touch from the onmyouji sent electricity up his spine.

Perhaps this was normal, he had know experience with this sort of thing. Maybe Subaru did this all the time and thought nothing of it? He thought he should ask him, but didn't know what to say. He could not identify the feeling other than ... he liked Subaru touching him.

Subaru gently folded the wings back onto Rocky's back. "They're good," he said softly, moving some of the boy's hair out of his eyes. "Make sure you sleep on your belly or side from now on ... now get some rest."

He felt the heavy new weight on his back, and it was comforting. Like an anchor to safety.
------------

"Because Subaru-kun you possess the only thing I want."

And those word might have surprised Subaru had they not been followed up by a kiss that monopolized that emotion.

Seishirou's hands cupped his cheek, holding him steady long enough for Seishirou to fully enjoy his stolen moment. Then he released Subaru slowly and pulled back only far enough for their eyes to meet.

"I really don't understand you Seishirou," Subaru commented weakly. "Shouldn't you be feeding me to that Tree by now?"

Seishirou chuckled and leaned forward to kiss Subaru again. Although he appeared to change his mind halfway into it. "Really now Subaru-kun do you think I brought you all the way here just to kill you?"

Subaru nodded, "the Tree is here."

Ah well that was true. "Even if I did kill you ... I wouldn't give you to her."

"Why not?" Subaru blinked.

"Because after our long, personal history that would be rude wouldn't it? Besides..." Subaru felt the murmur crawl up his neck, "You're mine ... she's just going to have to live with that."

Subaru felt strangely helpless like this. In Ueno Park, so close to Seishirou that he could feel his breath in the cold, away from the Sakura.

"Now Subaru-kun, I want you to concentrate for a moment."

"Eh?" Subaru mumbled incoherently. He was having trouble focusing on anything right now.

"Do you remember the principles of Taoism?"

Subaru blinked, the quiet 'Seishirou-san kissed me' euphoric daydream shattering into a billion pieces around him. And the reality that Seishirou had kissed him beginning to settle uneasily in his mind. "I didn't know there was going to a quiz."

Seishirou laughed and licked the tip of Subaru's nose playfully. "Come on, if you answer correctly I'll give you another kiss."

"In what sense?" Subaru frowned. "There are 81 chapters in the Tao Te Ching, discussing aspects of pretty much anything."

"The definition of balance," Seishirou clarified.

"When two forces clash, one pushes and the other yields-- redirecting that energy back at the former which yield and continues the cycle, the forces are at balance."

"Very good Subaru-kun," Seishirou grinned before placing a quick teasing kiss on his lips. His breath burned Subaru's with lust as he pulled away again. Subaru's eyes slowly opened, the dull, dazed look in them. "Now," Seishirou said, his hand playing in Subaru's black hair. "Let's see what else you know."

The Sakurazukamori nuzzled Subaru's neck tenderly. A piece of Subaru tired very hard to fight off the dreary acceptance. He shouldn't be like this, he shouldn't welcome this tenderness so openly, he shouldn't be such a fool again. But the warm feeling was murky and heavy, weighting down any doubts, any fears, and all the shame in enjoying it.

He had felt this before, the inability to resist against all his instincts. The absolute acceptance of things. He had felt like this before with Seishirou...

In Seishirou's maboroshi...

"He's going to kill me," Subaru thought. The idea made him panic, even though he wished for it. His mind struggled frantically, trying to force it's way free of the bonds that kept it obedient.

But death never came, he felt Seishirou's teeth run down his jaw-- an animalistic gesture, there was no aggression behind it-- and then he heard the words spoken to him softly. "Do you want to be free Subaru? Or do you want to be tied to me forever?"

Subaru choked on his tears. Why was he crying? "I dunno ... neither."

Seishirou pulled away, this time putting a step or two between them. Immediately Subaru felt the power holding his will at bay drain away, and it brought with it a flood of emotions and thought. "That's what I thought," Seishirou said gravely. An expression that only hung on his face for a mere flash of time before it was replaced by a chipper smile. "Well then..."

He snapped a leafless branch from a nearby tree and with merciless precision plucked it straight, or reasonably so. "Allow me to illustrate my plan to you Subaru-kun."

"You're plan?" Subaru repeated.

"Aa, I've been thinking through this for a while. I don't much like this idea of destiny, it makes life seem all the more pointless--"

Somehow hearing those words from Seishirou, struck Subaru as painfully ironic.

"And I think I might have found a loophole to happily ever after."

Okay now that was most definitely ironic...

Subaru frowned, "and somehow this involves me seducing you?"

"Strictly speaking no, that's just a perk of the game." The branch tapped playfully on Seishirou's leg.

Subaru's frown hardened, "I'm sick of playing games with you Seishirou-san, every time we 'play' someone else ends up getting hurt in my place."

Seishirou looked sincerely concerned, "you make it sound like I don't care."

"You don't." Subaru hissed.

"Not in any sense you'd recognize, I suppose not." Seishirou shrugged, "but just because I don't hold human life as something sacred and inviolable, doesn't mean I don't care. If it made no difference I wouldn't find so much amusement from hunting you."

Seishirou had been carefully walking around him while his spoke. His words were fluid and honest, and Subaru's greatest fear was that maybe Seishirou was telling him the truth. Lies and acts he could understand. He could handle that. But for the truth simply to be that Seishirou thought as people as nothing more than a minor concern, Subaru didn't know how to react to that. It was easy to hate the idea of the Sakurazukamori... it was not so easy to hate Seishirou.

Seishirou's attitude mad him no more evil than a cattle rancher ... except he was talking about people and not cattle.
-------------

"We've never been introduced," the boy commented. They stood before the barrier encasing the deepest depths of his heart. It occurred to Subaru then that this was quite an intimate working. This boy was about to give up something as sacred as his virginity, without even knowing Subaru's name.

"That's true," he agreed. "My apologies, for being so inconsiderate. I'm Subaru Sumeragi."

"Sumeragi-san?"

Subaru flinched at the title. That damn title, his damn family, his damn position ... he was beginning to hate it all. Those chains in his soul that came under the heading 'Sumeragi'.

The boy noticed, "Subaru-san?"

"You can drop the formality," Subaru smiled softly. "We're equals here."

The boy persisted, "Aa, Subaru-kun then?"

A cold hand seized Subaru's heart, almost choking him with a clammy discomfort. "No, that's reserved for someone else."

"Oh," the boy said, a little disappointed. "What can I call you?"

"Just Subaru is fine."

He smiled a little for the boy's sake.

"You can call me Kamui," the boy replied. There was a faint illusion of cheerfulness when he introduced himself. A dull pass of emotion in the boy's otherwise empty eyes.

"Kamui is it?"

"Yes,"

"All right Kamui," he tapped the giant crystal casing closing off Kamui's deepest point lightly. "Are you ready to show me what's behind here?"
-----------

Seishirou's plan might have worked had it not been for a third party in their relationship. The Sakura Tree was not keen on this game and its intended results. It was not keen on losing both its guardian and meal either. Although it could not really interfere with the game, its presence alone complicated matters.

Seishirou unfortunately had yet to find a solution to the obvious problem. As they stood now, his success depended entirely on the good will of the Tree. Truly wishful thinking on his part.

He watched the blood being gulped down by her roots with the same fascination he had on that night of the first kill. "You're spoiled," he told her.

The Tree made messy noises with its meal and grunted in response to his statement.

"You know, it is theoretically possible that you may not be able to stop me--us."

The comment was casual, more wishful thinking on his part. The Tree put demands on Subaru that Seishirou knew Subaru would never be able to fulfill. There wasn't enough time, there would never be enough time for Subaru to learn his role with the flawlessness that was required to defeat the tree.

But he could hope...

Yes, he believed that was the word for it. Hope, it was one of those strange muted feelings inside of him. He was aware that it was something like anticipation... but beyond that, he had trouble defining it.

Hope was used to fill in gaps that logic and planning can't, he thought bitterly. Now was not the time to rely on something like that.

Still, tonight had gone well, he thought. Dinner, the walk through Ueno Park... it was obvious that Subaru was still adjusting to the idea of Seishirou being in his life this way. But all things considered, it was a success.

The Tree murmured something in the back of his mind. She could not speak, but he understood her the same as if she had used words. Her hurt, betrayed shiver ran through him, "why are you doing this?"

Seishirou shrugged, "the idea amuses me. For hundreds of years the Sakurazuka's have been killing off the Sumeragi, and the Sumeragi have foiled hundreds of Sakurazukamori before me. Now we are the only ones left... realizing that made killing him seem so ... dull."

The Tree whimpered and reached out to him, "please don't go."

Seishirou smiled, "I'm touched, but even you must admit ... the same ending to the story over and over again is boring. If nothing else this ending won't be."

"Even if you fail?"

"Especially if I fail, you of all people should know that."

The Tree accepted this sadly, "don't go..."

"Don't worry, I'll stay with you a little longer."