The Tree shrugged, it had no answer for such questions. It only knew what was, not why it was, or what way it should be.
Subaru stared down his at his hands, dirty with the blood of death-- the people he loved-- did it even matter if he hadn't killed them. Did anything matter anymore? If he killed them with his own hands would he at least have the confidence in knowing that it was truly him that killed. If he killed others now would he be any less guilty? If he killed those he loved, how much worse could killing strangers be?
"My blood ... it's poison isn't it? That's why I keep surviving your lust. That's why everyone I love must die in my place?"
----------------
Subaru believed in redemption, he believed that love could redeem anyone. He did not believe, however, that Seishirou loved him. He did not want to believe that, for he did not want to think how long Seishirou had loved him. He did not want to think about all the things that Seishirou did at the same time.
Because love was suppose to redeem people.
And if Seishirou could kill while in love, perhaps because he was in love. Subaru did not want to think of what might happen if he were redeemed.
Still...
He had studied Taoism thoroughly as a child, it had been part of his education up to the day when his sister died. After that, he threw away all the ridiculous poetic philosophy and went right for what was clear cut. But he was still familiar with the concepts. He was aware of what Seishirou had been getting at.
He had been mulling over the idea all evening, paying little or no attention to the movie playing in the dark theater nor really the fabulous dishes presented for his consumption either. Seishirou had been unusually quiet in response to Subaru's withdrawal, small comments scattered here and there, perhaps sensing the importance of Subaru's thoughts.
Theoretically speaking, it was a good strategy. Seishirou was very good at over powering him with violence, that much was incredibly clear. It would be stupid of him-- not to mention pointless-- to keep banging his head against that wall, hoping for Seishirou to slip up once.
He had to find some way he could win. And although the answer was very, very logical, it was against all his instincts as a living creature. Surrender was not something that came easily, it was in their basics instincts to fight control.
He remembered as a child been trained, sitting in a cold room for hours in the same position... Meditations that shut out pain, focused his mind and tested his strength. He was not put through them to suffer ... only to give him the focus required to utter the sacred words to exorcise spirits and not have all hell break loose.
He told himself that this, was not at all unlike that.
Simply another exercise in focus.
"Do you want to come in?" Subaru asked, more than a trace of nervousness in his voice.
It was worth a try, he did not fear his own death..
Seishirou was surprised, but pleasantly so. He grinned at the invitation, lifting his eyebrow suggestively. "It's getting late Subaru-kun."
Subaru twisted the keys in the lock, swinging the door open and waving his arm invitingly in. What was the code people used on such occasions? "Just for a cup of coffee."
The assassin crossed the threshold, a decidedly smug look on his face. Surveying the apartment he admired the presence Subaru had imprinted on it, Spartan, very very Spartan. But small touches of tenderness and comfort here and there... a soft pillow on the couch, a warm looking tea set, the big fluffy comforter on his bed. The warmth matched with a smoothness like Zen, pale green plain chop sticks and black rice bowls with cream colored inners, and pale green rims. Smooth counters and walls of light off-white tones. Naked windows, naked and clean.
Naked and clean.
He grinned.
Coffee huh?
Subaru dug noisily around the kitchen area. He was nervous, Seishirou observed with amusement ... same Subaru as always. "Ummmm..." Subaru hummed from within the kitchen. "I don't have any coffee."
Seishirou felt that laughing might be a bad idea. He had no idea what possessed Subaru to change his mind about the matter, nor what had revived this innocent, warm Subaru from it's cold angsty coffin, but he felt best to be as agreeable as possible. "Aa, some tea will be fine."
"What kind?" Subaru asked, his form still hidden behind the counter.
"Whatever you have love,"
Subaru's head peered out at Seishirou in the livingroom, "stop calling me that."
Seishirou smiled apologetically, "why?"
"Because," the Sumeragi grunted. "You don't love me."
"I disagree..."
"No," Subaru said firmly. "You're fond of me, you enjoy my company, and you have some twisted, creepy, affection for me, but you do not love me."
He muttered something after that Seishirou didn't catch. And Seishirou was about to tease a repetition out of him when one of Subaru's delicate brown tea cups was held, steaming, just under his nose. He accepted the offering graciously and decided to change tactics, "you developing some rather bizarre quirks yourself Subaru-kun."
"Eh?" The onmyouji responded as the hot liquid twisted around itself with a pour, into his cup.
"Well this is a somewhat unexpected change of pace ... just a few days ago you were scowling and snapping at me whenever I even got close to you. Now we're..." he waved his hand around the apartment. "All that hostility... where did it go?"
Subaru sipping his tea calmly and surprised Seishirou by smiling. It was a soft, tired and simple smile that graced his face as he said, "We can call it a night if you're not comfortable with this."
"Clever, very clever Subaru-kun," he thought with a frown. "I'm not saying that ... it's just suspicious."
"You think I'm up to something?"
"It would be insulting to assume that was beyond your ability Subaru-kun."
"Good," Subaru nodded. "Because I am."
"Then why admit that?" Seishirou thought wearily. His sister was exactly the same way, as if revealing the evil plot somehow doomed him to walk right into it in spite of himself. He wondered if this was a genetic feature brought on through years of inbreeding in the Sumeragi, or whether they all really were that stupid. "And what might that be?" he sighed.
"You should know, it was your idea."
Indeed...
"I didn't expect you to take to the idea so quickly, Subaru-kun."
The younger man looked down through his tea cup, his expression solemn but tender at the same time. "Neither did I. But you are right, this is in my nature ... perhaps that's what makes it easier to make the decision so suddenly."
He took a long sip of his tea as he heard the soft clank of Seishirou placing his cup down on the coffee table. He savored the smoky taste of the leaves in the brew, knowing that it would be the last sip he got out of the cup. His belly felt filled with warmth.
Water...
Under heaven nothing is more soft and yielding than water.
Yet for attacking the solid and strong, nothing is better;
It has no equal.
The weak can overcome the strong;
The supple can overcome the stiff.
He did not open his eyes as he lowered the cup from his lips. Nor as he felt Seishirou's callous finger-- bathed in the glow of millions of deaths-- brush against the skin of his cheek. But when he felt those hands slide up the side of his face, and pull his chin up, then he let out a soft sigh and slowly opened his eyes halfway. Allowing Seishirou to search through the deep transparent green all he wanted.
Seishirou was looking with a strange collection of expressions. Serious, amused, tender ... sad. Subaru wasn't sure which to believe, if any. He couldn't fathom what thoughts were pacing through that dark untouchable space in Seishirou's mind. He had never been able to understand the man in that way. "Then," his voice was but a deep hum across Subaru's senses. "What will we do now?"
Why is the sea king of a hundred streams?
Because it lies below them.
His eyes fluttered to the side, not in shame but a sudden sense of guilt for what he was about to take away. "Whatever you want," he said softly, believing in it.
He did not see Seishirou smile as he kissed him It was a gentle and caring kiss and he felt no need to respond to it. He felt Seishirou grip his shoulders harshly as if trying to squeeze a response out of him by force. And he did respond to that, but probably not in the way Seishirou had wanted him to. Subaru didn't resist, or fight back, or even cry out in pain, instead he kissed back ... welcoming Seishirou's lips on his own.
This was his battlefield, these were his weapons. He was going to win. This time he was going to beat Seishirou.
The Sakurazukamori slammed his back into the wall, pinning him between the cream colored plaster and the body clothed in black. For a moment Subaru could feel Seishirou's black trench coat enclosing him as the body behind it pressed into his. His fingers moved carefully up Seishirou's sides as he felt the man's teeth graze his lips.
Seishirou pined on arm above his head, pulling away for a brief intermission. He ran his pointer finger down Subaru's chin slowly, allowing the nail to scratch the skin slightly. He grinned as Subaru's head tilted down and he returned the gesture by taking the finger into his mouth, sucking gently on it, tongue stroking it. "If you wanted me to be rough with you Subaru-kun, you only had to ask."
Subaru said nothing, only grunted as Seishirou's hands roughly pushed off his sports jacket and working under his shirt. He kissed across Seishirou's jaw, his lips passing across the ear lobe and on to the temple. Then buried in a sea of dark black hair. It smelled like burnt tobacco, he loved it.
Subaru gave into a soft shutter as the black coat opened it's wings and was tossed over the back of a nearby chair. He followed Seishirou movements as he stepped back, closing the space between them and placing more soft kisses on the throat as he fiddled with Seishirou's tie. His fingers slipping in and out, winding the fabric out from it's neat knot.
Exhaling in lust brought out a sound like a beast in Seishirou. The sound of heavy breath just before the predator sniffs for the scent of it's terrified prey, much like a sigh. Seishirou worked the rest of Subaru's shirt off quickly, aware of the fingers that were working the buttons of his dress shirt undone. He dragged a kiss slowly down Subaru's bare shoulder, finding a piece of tender flesh and biting it hard.
He was disappointed when Subaru did not respond to this the way he hoped he would. He had expected at least a started yelp But no, the shoulder relaxed under his teeth and the Sumeragi answered with gentle kisses as if he hadn't noticed the pain at all.
Seishirou didn't like this, he didn't want to think what it meant. He knew only that Subaru was his and that Subaru would not escape him. For a moment that was all that mattered. Any amusement he found in the game that might change that, was buried deeply under the lust for possession.
He took off his shirt and stalked Subaru. Taking one step forward as his counterpart took one back, approaching the bedroom in a dark carnal way. Seishirou smiled, his young lover did not. "What the matter Subaru-kun?" the assassin's words slivered across Subaru's ear. "Not enjoying this?"
Subaru blinked in genuine confusion before a soft smile answered his partner. He unbuttoned his pants and kicked them loose of his legs. Then he surprised Seishirou, stepping forward and darting his tongue over one nipple as his fingers worked Seishirou's button and the zipper open.
Seishirou ran one hand through Subaru's hair, allowing himself to acknowledge the physical pleasure he was given. "You're so very interesting sometimes Subaru-kun."
With that he grabbed Subaru's arms and throw the Sumeragi onto the bed, surprised once more by the ease with which Subaru's body was swung.
No resistance at all.
This was starting to irritate him.
He snarled and climbed on top of Subaru. "You hurt my feelings Subaru-kun, I'm beginning to think you'd rather be somewhere else."
Capturing the enemy without attacking,
Being armed without weapons.
Subaru kissed down his chest, as if to say "don't be silly, this is the only place I belong." But there was no passion in those lips, no fight in them. Just a love, unconditional, uncaring, tender, warm yet uncaring love. Seishirou was frustrated, he had the barest idea about how the Sumeragi should fight him, this tactic had after all been his idea. Yet he did not understand, how could love be so uncaring and neutral? How could Life feel so dead?
He grabbed Subaru's shoulder and pulled at it ruthlessly, Subaru's soft kisses goading him on. When the bone slipped out of the socket with a dull pop Seishirou was rewarded with a soft grunt from the onmyouji beneath him ... but nothing more.
One arm limp and unmoving, Subaru kept going without fail. Fingers sliding down to rid the last trace of cloth between their naked bodies. Seishirou hands burned with anger, but he could not understand why he was angry. He could not understand why he wanted to hurt Subaru so badly now.
He had never taken pleasure in the pain of others before, simply been amused by it. But now ... the soft claiming pressure he gave to Subaru was faithful thrown away. Subaru was submissive but rejecting at the same time. Not acknowledging Seishirou's rights over him.
He ground down on the dislocated limb.
Nothing, not even a whimper from the Sumeragi. Subaru returned every touch of pain with one of tenderness. Reaching out to Seishirou with his touch, but yet keeping him away from Seishirou's control. Not fighting, like Seishirou didn't matter enough to fight. Yielding to his will so much that he evaded him. He would allow Seishirou to do him physical harm, but by allowing it had stripped Seishirou of the power to hurt him.
"Fine," Seishirou snorted. "If that's the way you want it."
Subaru's eyes opened, they almost seemed sleepy but they sparkled. As if Subaru was taking great pleasure from Seishirou's struggle.
He probably was, little bastard.
"Yes," Subaru breathed. "It is."
Seishirou growled and roughly forced the Sumeragi's legs up and apart. He could have been gentle. Had he been willing to do that, but not if this was the way he was going to be treated. If this was the way Subaru was going to be, he was going to hurt him.
With Subaru's knees hooked around his shoulders he leaned over the onmyouji to look into his eyes once more. Hoping, as much as he could, that in the face of it Subaru might have changed his mind about how he wanted to go about this. He glared down at the Sumeragi, who stared back ... eyes loving and indifferent to both the pain and the force. Then Subaru reached up with the uninjured arm and brush Seishirou black hair back tenderly, and he...
Smiled, the kind of smile one gives a child who simply doesn't know any better.
Infuriated beyond his comprehension of the emotion, Seishirou penetrated. He was rougher than even he thought was possible, not giving Subaru anytime to prepare himself for the violation. And when he was denied the feeling of the Sumeragi's muscles tensing and being ripped through, he thrust even harder.
Subaru's eyes never left his, Seishirou's eyes aimlessly around the room. Subaru's hand reached up once again, brushing Seishirou's soft black strands gently away. Never getting discouraged when they fell back with each thrust.
He was going to break every bone in the Sumeragi's hand if he didn't stop that. Seishirou sped up the rhythm, dimming aware of a warm sensation seeping into him. Each violent thrust brought it on stronger, a dull warmth filling him. Invading him.
That was it, that what it felt like. Something Subaru reached out to him with invading him, wearing down his shields and defenses and infecting him. A gentle warmth.
He thought that surely he could push the gentleness back if he fought it with violence. Surely he could kill it if he hurt Subaru just a little more. But every thrust, every painful touch brought it on even stronger. Until he could feel it leaking into his heart. Was this...
Love?
Subaru was giving him love? Wasn't that what Seishirou had suggested in the first place? But he had never expected it to be like this. He had never expected love to be so painful.
Yes Subaru returned every injury inflicted with one of his own, scarring Seishirou with affection and gentleness. Without thinking he grabbed the Sumeragi's throat and squeezed hard, feeling the muscles constrict under his palm. He would not lose like this. Anyway but like this.
Subaru's eyes opened a little wider, a mere reaction to the air being cut off from his lungs. But nothing in those eyes changed. His body went stiff under Seishirou's, struggling futility under the older man's weight. Seishirou felt flooded with a kind of sick excitement, that was it ... he had finally broken through and forced Subaru to be his again.
The Sumeragi's eyes drifted closed and he appeared to sigh, which was quite impossible under the circumstances ... a breathless sigh in which his entire body relaxed. For a moment Seishirou panicked and loosened his grip on Subaru's pale skin. The green eyes opened again, and they startled Seishirou in their calmness ... like the sea. Subaru's good hand came up and grasped Seishirou's wrist, but it did not try to force him away, instead it pulled him closer. Seishirou's large hand tightened around the onmyouji throat again. There was something dangerous building inside of him, driving him further and further into some kind of madness with each movement. He couldn't control it, he couldn't control any of it, and that fueled it further. Subaru's eyes watched him carefully, never wavering in their peaceful stillness, never turning to hate or pain. Seishirou came dangerous close to crushing the windpipe, before he pulled back with a shuddered gasp.
What the hell was he doing?
He had never known anything like this before. The emotions he had ever experience were vague, wispy things, merely acknowledging certain things he enjoyed more than others. He had never killed out of anger, certainly not out of this blind rage with which he had almost murdered Subaru. He was confused, and tiniest bit scared of it. Something so much stronger than anything he had ever known, strong enough to control him like that.
Subaru's legs pulled Seishirou back towards him. The Sumeragi took the hand that had almost strangled him and kissed it softly. His eyes slowly opened as his lips met the flesh and they stared into Seishirou's with an unusual firmness and sharpness. There was a dominating presence in those eyes now.
Subaru pulled him back with kisses, pushing up against him to finish out they had begun. Seishirou felt the warmth swell up again with each kiss and he knew for certain it was not physical pleasure that was invading him. It was something far more damaging, using physical pleasure as it's Trojan horse. He felt oddly helpless in Subaru's arms now, realizing that the more he struggled against his lover ... the more his lover won.
He had never expected it to be like this.
He laid his head down under Subaru's chin, letting the Sumeragi move up against him in the most pleasing way. He groaned as Subaru squeezed down on him, the lust for the pleasure forcing him to start moving inside the onmyouji again. He was aware of a small painful tingle in the corner of his eyes as a tear swelled out from the duct. He knew what it was, but he had no idea what it meant.
As the warmth sank its fangs into him, tearing him apart inside and smoothing new territory for itself. It was a violent and vicious thing love, Seishirou thought wearily. He understand why Subaru suffered so much.
The Sumeragi moaned in his embrace, merely luring Seishirou in with the idea that maybe ... he could make Subaru feel something. Luring to the kill, which Subaru was quick to deliver.
As Seishirou pushed in harder, wanting to drive Subaru to pleasure if pain was not effective, Subaru leaned forward and pressed their lips together. A sweet, gentle, loving gesture that made something inside Seishirou snapped. And with a choked cry...
He was defeated.
------------------
It was like...
It was like creation.
A blooming of color and light, warmth and sound, motion and memory. A conception but not a birth. Subaru felt very strongly that it was not a birth, that the birth had still to occur. The black fog, indeed the blackness itself and its whole family of shadows were gone. Every corner, every expanse of this world was filled with color and light.
It was nothing recognizable, at least not to Subaru. There was an all encompassing warmth, like being submerged in liquid oxygen.
Then a pounding, a deep thump like the sound of a leather skin drum.
All the light seemed red-orange.
No shapes, no objects save for the form of a woman, faceless and featureless. Her colors were there but muted and unclear, as if Kamui himself wasn't sure what she looked like.
She seemed the focal point of the world, an impression carved into Kamui's heart like one a living soul might make. Memories don't behave like this...
"Kamui, who is she?"
"My mother," he answered.
"When did she die?"
"In childbirth, with me."
"You have to let her go Kamui, she doesn't belong here."
"I know," he said sadly. "I can't though, I think I killed her." He said the last part not in way of explanation, but as an aside that was completely irrelevant. "She's always been with me, I can't let her go. I don't want this place to be empty."
"You'll build new things here," he soothed. "But you have to let her go. The strength it takes to hold her here, you don't have that sort of power to spare. It's killing you Kamui, it's making you sick."
"I don't care about dying. I don't want to loss her."
"I can't make you," Subaru said. "If you want to survive you have to do it yourself. I can only help you see the path to take, not take it for you."
"I understand."
The boy must be a great deal more powerful than he appeared, Subaru reasoned. To hold an unwilling spirit here for so long. "If you hold the pain so close to your heart, then yes this place will remain empty once she leaves because you won't let anything grow. For your own sake let her free and forget a little."
Kamui looked at him sharply as if he knew how hypocritical those words were coming from Subaru.
"There's nothing more I can do here, please ... I can feel how badly you want to live Kamui ... don't do this anymore. Don't lock all this up inside, it was never meant to be held here."
------------
Seishirou was fast asleep, Subaru holding him close with one arm. The other was still dislocated and lied still as he could keep it by his side ... throbbed with a muted pain. He wondered how he had been able to withstand it before, idle thoughts of that nature dancing in his head.
But for now, it didn't matter. He didn't think anything was broken... his neck was badly bruised from Seishirou's attack, but he wasn't too concerned about that anyway. Subaru looked down at the sleeping man beside him.
He looked like a dog, no... no a bear, when he was asleep Subaru decided. Eyes closed and body fully relaxed in sleep, his soft hair brushing across his forehead, and his nose... just the way it looked like a human snout in this light. He looked a lot like a sleeping grizzly bear.
Which made sense, it fit the Seishirou-san that Subaru was beginning to understand just a little. He was like an animal, without deep emotions, without empathy. With only a will to survive and instincts to act on. Instincts that told him to kill, as any animal would, for food. If animals could be motivated to kill to feed their children as well as themselves, he supposed it was also conceivable that Seishirou could kill to feed that tree in the same way.
Perhaps Subaru had been a little too cruel tonight. He had been foolish to assume that Seishirou knew exactly what he was getting into. It was one thing to understand the meaning in the words, it was quite another to understand the experience of being conquered.
Words were so useless sometimes.
He didn't know what was suppose to happen now, but he imagined he could be happy living his whole life like this. Surrendering to Seishirou night after night, and doing... whatever it was they just did. He supposed that in Seishirou's twisted little world that had been making love. And even if Subaru could do without the strangling and the dislocation... the general experience had been quite pleasurable.
Seishirou's reaction hadn't been entirely unexpected. He knew that Seishirou did not like the idea of losing control of his prey. It was more than a safe bet that losing control to his prey wasn't going to rub him the right way either. Still in the end Seishirou seemed so utterly helpless and broken that Subaru actually pitted him. It was a strange thing, their relationship. He felt oddly guilty about defeating him like that.
He had no idea what the effects of the event would be on Seishirou. Though he suppose he would find out when the man woke up in the morning.
It was a victory...
But it was not balance. An adequate revenge for his sister's murder and his own suffering, perhaps. But it was not balance, only the same fight they always fought just in a different sense.
He could not conceive of the balance that Seishirou spoke of. He could accept the idea, but he could not imagine what it would be like to have that, nor how it might take place. Consequently he could not make plans for what he had to do next. His only choice was to take things as they came and hope that the proper steps would come to him with time.
He should call his Grandmother ... perhaps there was something to this Taoism poetic nonsense. He debated about how much he should tell her regarding his sudden interest. She likely would not approve of his sexual liaisons with the Sakurazukamori. Yet she might see it as an end to a very painful and tragic history.
Then again, his Grandmother was no short on power herself, perhaps she already knew.
--------------
Understandably, Seishirou was not in the greatest mood when he woke up. He was in a general grump that could not be defined by any one emotion or another. The chaos of last night had gone quiet inside of him, leaving a dull after taste of those violent emotions like a stain in cotton cloth that had been scrubbed until the fabric was worn, but had not completely come out. He was no longer angry. He imagined the right word for this feeling was depression. His pride was injured last night, to know that it really was true ... you are in fact controlled by that which you struggle to possess most
He groaned and tried to shut out everything by burying his face in a pillow. Subaru's pillow he thought, and that only made it worse. What had he gotten himself into? Life used to be so easy and simple.
He felt a familiar murmur in the back of his mind that he recognized as the Tree.
"Shutup," he muttered back.
For something who spoke only in thoughts, the Tree had a remarkable mastery of sarcasm. Oh he imagined she had lots of thoughts on what had happened last night, most of them including casual suggestions that if he killed Subaru she'd make sure he'd never have to go through that again.
It was tempting...
Very tempting..
"But not right now," he thought with a heavy sigh. That would only prove how badly Subaru had beaten him. Next time, he would not be defeated so easily. Next time he would put Subaru back where he belonged... then he would kill him.
The Tree grumbled something, he ignored it. Right now he didn't care what she thought.
After last night, he wasn't sure what he wanted to do. He had thought this little game with Subaru would be interesting ... and it was certainly interesting. But he had expected the prospect of sleeping with Subaru to be somewhat more ... pleasurable. He had certainly not anticipated that, whatever 'that' had been. Although he probably should have ... it was afterall the obvious answer. They fight on Subaru's side of life, in love instead of in death as they had done previously, and Subaru would win and Seishirou would fall in love with him.
He was a little sadomasochistic for liking the idea of such a battle to begin with.
But he was not in love with Subaru.
Aside from the dull emotional pain throbbing inside him, he wasn't quite sure what the effects of Subaru's victory had been on him. He tried to conjure up an image of the Sumeragi just to see what strange emotions fluttered up in response, only to find nothing...
He felt empty, but aware of his emptiness. Where as once he had not felt, now he felt only the absence of those horrible emotions he had only briefly experienced.
Nothing...
This was displeasing, because it had an obvious answer. It meant that his battles with Sumeragi were not over, and that he would probably lose again. "Fuck," he murmured, wondering why he got bored and got himself into this kind of trouble all the time. None of the other Sakurazukamoris before him had ever been compelled to make bets with prey, or agree to their own death warrants through silly spells, or toyed with the idea of balance.
The Tree mentioned something about him being the black sheep of the family.
With a grunt he pulled himself out of the misery of Subaru's bed, found something to put on and walked towards the door, dimly aware of the smell of cooking.
Subaru was making breakfast for them. How utterly ... Subaru of him.
He watched the Sumeragi scurry around his kitchen, preparing a simple breakfast of scrambled eggs and toast. A feat that probably would have been much easier if he had been using both of his hands.
"How's your arm?" he asked, his voice low and gruff.
Although Subaru had somehow managed to pop it back into it's socket (that boy never ceased to amaze him), it was probably still aching terribly. He noted the ice pack that Subaru applied to it whether he had a free second.
Subaru shrugged, wincing alittle, "It's alright. I'll live."
"I'm sorry about that," he didn't know why he said that ... he wasn't the slightest bit sorry about anything.
"Want some breakfast? I wasn't sure if you preferred a more traditional meal or not--"
"It's fine," Seishirou said sharply, taking the dish out of his hand and sitting down to mope and eat... but mostly mope.
He could feel Subaru staring at him. And he almost sensed that the Sumeragi was somehow angered by his attitude, although he couldn't imagine why. So Seishirou was a sore loser, what was Subaru expecting? With a frown the onmyouji picked up the morning paper, "Hmmm... interesting, Seishirou-san do you follow politics."
Seishirou glanced suspiciously at Subaru, "no ... should I?"
"Aa, proposition 320 just passed."
"Great," Seishirou yawned, poking his eggs with a fork cautiously. "More pointless legislation. Yay for democracy... what's proposition 320? Another traffic code?"
"Noooo... actually their going to pave over Ueno park and put in a supermarket." Subaru smirked from behind the paper.
He could hear the Tree, never very good with humor herself, choking with startled "What?!?!?!" and Seishirou sighed.
"That is so not even funny Subaru-kun."
Subaru shrugged and went back to preparing his own breakfast. After nine years of suffering, he thought he was entitled to a little gloating. "I thought it was rather amusing."
"No, you see, you're giving the Tree an anxiety attack. It's going to take me all day to explain to her that there are no bulldozers coming, that sweet, innocent little Subaru-kun has a very sick sense of humor."
"I thought this would be the sort of thing you'd find rather amusing, buying produce where blood sacrifices were made so regularly. Tell me," he said as he took his seat next to Seishirou. "What would you do if it was going to happen?"
"It wouldn't, no politician on the planet would be so crazy as to tear down Ueno Park."
Subaru's stare sharpened and he leaned forward. "But what if they did? Humor me."
Seishirou's eyes shifted up the younger man's face, matching Subaru's strong will with his own glare. Their eyes locked and they stared at each other for a long time before Seishirou hissed, "isn't it obvious? The Tree as her own defenses, it has stood there for thousands of years ... when the expansion of Tokyo threatened it's survival, it presence urged people the preserve it in that Park. Normal people don't have the will to wish harm upon that tree. So if they did tear down that park, the Tree would be untouched I promise you. It would be left to stand in some garden, or on the side of some street, or in the middle of the goddamn parking lot. But it would be there.
"And if by some chance someone did have the will to harm the Tree, she has her own defenses. She can't use magic in any controlled sense like you and I, but she can give off a nasty shock if needed."
"What if she couldn't?"
Seishirou sighed, rubbing the bridge of his nose with his thumb and finger. "This is an idiotic line of questioning Subaru-kun, even for you. If there was some threat that the Tree couldn't defend herself from I would kill it."
Subaru leaned back in his seat, nibbling at his toast thoughtfully. "I'm curious about how far you'd go though.. If there were 10 people that threatened the Tree would you kill them all? If they were a hundred? A Thousand? An army, storming down on the Tree... Does it make no difference how many people there are?"
"What you're suggesting though, is a totally impossible situation."
"Maybe," Subaru shrugged. "I want to know anyway."
Seishirou looked up again, "why?"
"I'd like to understand the man I'm sleeping with ... you almost killed me last night."
For a moment Subaru saw something curious is Seishirou's eyes, a tinge of guilt, he thought. Perhaps regret as well?
"I've never thought about it," Seishirou admitted softly. "If I was put in that situation ... I'd find some way to remove the threat.."
Subaru raised an eyebrow as he rocked back and forth, balancing his chair on it's back legs. "But not necessarily killing?"
"Killing a hundred people or more would be impractical Subaru-kun. There are other ways to go about it, kill a few easily and scores of men will become afraid enough to be considered incapacitated. Break a few of the right bones and make any man incapable of feeding himself let alone hurting the Tree. Death is not essential. Killing more than hundred would be too much work."
"But," Subaru pressed. "If it was possible for you kill them all, with a spell say ... would you?"
"If all of them were capable of harming the Tree, yes."
"But you'd prefer not to kill that many people all at once?"
Seishirou frowned, pointing accusingly at Subaru with his fork, "I think Subaru-kun your trying to find something in the semantics that isn't there. Avoiding unnecessary inconvenience and mercy are not the same thing."
"That is true," Subaru hummed lightly. "But why would it matter if they were really a threat to the Tree or not? If killing people truly means absolutely nothing more than breaking a thing to you ... why would it matter?"
Seishirou's eyes glared at his sharply, "would you break all the dishes in your kitchen Subaru-kun, because breaking one dish doesn't matter? It's wasteful, excessive and totally unnecessary."
Subaru stared up at his ceiling, rocking the chair back and forth still. "No," he admitted. "I guess I wouldn't."
