"I'm sorry," he said.
"For what?" Subaru asked.
Night had fallen long ago, the full moon hung boldly in the sky before them-- bathing the forest and all the creatures she sheltered in pure silver light. Subaru knew there was no reason for concern, Seishirou was not one to pursue. He would instead simply wait patiently for them to recover and begin the hunt a new.
It had been like this ever since left Tokyo. He ran, Seishirou followed leisurely. He did not know why it was he ran, he knew he would have to face Seishirou eventually. He knew that he should have died in the Tokyo. He had accepted all of these things long ago.
But he didn't want to fight Seishirou. He needed more time.
"For..." Rocky trailed off. "Being..."
Subaru smiled, "you don't have to apologize for your existence, least of all to me."
"I know," Rocky frowned, his left wing fluttered a bit.
He nuzzled Subaru's neck a little, enjoying the closeness while he could have it. He wasn't sure why Subaru didn't mind resting like this. Maybe it was that the onmyouji was too far away, lost in his own thoughts, too care. Perhaps Rocky could never really touch Subaru at all so the presence of his body draped over the onmyouji's in an almost desperate hug was of no bother.
"I sorry because..." he trailed off again, and this time Subaru showed no interested in exploring the matter. The Sumeragi was leaning against the truck of some kind of pine tree, his eyes staring up at the sky, his hand continuing those gentle stokes until they became nothing more than a rhythm.
"Subaru?"
"Mm?"
"I love you."
The Sumeragi eyes glanced down out the boy in his arms briefly. "You're sorry because you love me?"
Rocky nodded sadly. "I'm sorry ... I know that's more of a burden on you than it is on me."
Subaru smiled politely, "you love me so much you would wish your own existence away for my convenience?"
"Yes..."
"Why?"
"Because I would..."
"No I mean, why do you love me that much?"
"Because, you gave the world to me. You freed my heart and opened it to all these new feelings," The unbroken wing extended a bit and Rocky looked over his shoulder at it. "A new range of physical sensations too. How can I not love Subaru? You give me a life and than a purpose to live it."
"Oh," Subaru remarked casually. "A purpose, and what might that be?"
He chose not to answer directly, "Will you let me stay Subaru? I know in my state I'll only be a liability. But I want to stay with you."
Subaru's hand reached out and with utmost care touched Rocky's broken and bloody right wing. The boy flinched in his arms but tried to remain still for the onmyouji, who's fingers ran over the reset bone gently. "In a couple of days, this will be as good as new. What concerns me is that it will probably be stronger than the other wing after it heals."
"So I'll have to fly sideways?" Rocky grinned.
Subaru looked amused, "maybe I'll just break the other one and even things out."
The boy shuttered in his arms, the memory of the incredible pain still fresh in his mind. "Don't even kid about that."
Subaru fell silent, his fingers stroking the base of Rocky's neck now. His eyes drawn closed in the face of a distant memory. Memories reexamined so many time he sometimes doubted whether they were his, or some story he had invented and told himself over and over again. He kept thinking about a bird Hokuto found when they were kids, how she brought it home and mothered it relentlessly for it too had a broken wing. He had been fascinated but afraid of it then. He had wanted to comfort it but had been to afraid of hurting it, for the creature was terrified of them. It would make the most horrible screams in protest anytime either of the twins got near, until...
Until Seishirou came over, soothed, and set the bird's wing. He wondered if somehow Rocky was the reincarnation of that tiny thing ... reaching out to him like they had to it.
"You can stay for as long as you like,"
------------
Subaru Sumeragi was like a dark shadow in the vast olive drab Atlantic ocean, undefinable. A vague shape unidentified as one thing or another. It could be a school of fish, it could be a mass of seaweed, or a playful dolphin or curious sated whale.
Then again ... it could also be a shark.
Like the Lochness monster Subaru was a pursued shadow by the very nature of what he might be. He was a Sumeragi, not just a Sumeragi ... but the Sumeragi. That made him a coveted creature to begin with, everyone wanting to lay a claim to him with a glance, a conversation, or some other interaction. The mystery that Subaru's pain afforded him only added to that.
It was a source that first pricked my interest in the Sumeragi. A priest in Tokyo with an affinity for gossip...
"They found a blood trail leading down that alley over there," he hissed with excitement. "But no body! Amazing, you'd think this would be the safest part of Tokyo. But the violence of the city exists even here!"
I nodded, wishing to politely get back to whatever he were talking about to begin with.
"They haven't been able the find any clues about it either... just that blood trail. People in the community are already starting to whisper about the Sakurazukamori."
By "community" he meant the spiritual network. I raised my eyebrows in surprise, I thought Tokyo based priest were a little more sensible then to fall for superstition ... whatever kind of mythical creature a Sakurazukamori was.
"Becareful, when you travel around," my priest friend winked at me. "And who you talk to. It just may be the Sakurazukamori."
I was irritated, not being fond of ghost stories myself. "And what might the Sakurazukamori be?" I asked coldly.
"The dark assassin ... the black onmyouji who uses onmyoujitsu for evil. Guardian of the Sakura."
To me, a foreigner, that seemed like three completely different answers.
"The Gardener from Hell ... sounds charming, I'll make a note."
The priest smiled, amused by my cold humor. I was not a child who would be frightened easily by something so ridiculous. "Well ... there hasn't been talk of the Sakurazukamori in the community for a long time... He's dead after all."
"Let me guess ... deranged pool boy?"
My friend laughed heartily. "No one knows, he may be out there somewhere still. Only Sumeragi-san would be able to tell you."
"Sumeragi-san?" I said, knowing he had mentioned that name before and flipping through my notes for it. "You mean of the Sumeragi family?"
"Aa... Subaru Sumeragi, he's the head of the family now. Even if his Grandmother still handles most of the trivial duties..."
"Well I suppose being the head of the highest magickal family in Japan he's bond to know..."
"No, no, no," he hushed me firmly. "It's not just that, Sumeragi-san is said to have personal connections to the Sakurazukamori."
I frowned, "personal? Personal how? What do they have poker night with the Dali Lama and the Emperor?"
The priest scowled at my sarcasm. "It's all very hush-hush, only selected people know the details." He leaned closer to me as if the street was filled with ears just dying to hear his vague grasp of the facts. "They say ... well they say a great many things. Even holy people let their imaginations escape once in while. But it seems certain that the Sukaruzukamori was responsible for the disappearance of Hokuto Sumeragi. And there are rumors that Sumeragi-san might have something to do with the Sukaruzukamori's uncertain death."
"So he killed him to avenge his sister?"
"Perhaps," the priest shrugged. "Either way it's an interesting story."
It was.
"I wonder," I asked. "If you know where I might find Sumeragi-san?"
The priest's expression squirmed a bit. "Do you have some sort of specific problem to discuss?"
"No," I assured. "But I would like to pursue this fairy tale a bit."
"Sumeragi-san does not take visitors. If you want to speak with him, you'll have to go through the family in Kyoto."
I frowned, "but he lives and works here in Tokyo, surely there must be some way ... a place he frequents perhaps?"
He bit his lip anxiously. "I know he'll be working tonight, you may catch him heading home then, but don't expect him to see you. As I said he very rarely takes jobs not handled through the family in Kyoto."
"I understand." And that night I found myself sitting on the curb a block away from Subaru's apartment.
I waited much longer than I expected to, but finally late in the evening I saw the thin figure of a man, in his mid-twenties, that matched what I had heard about the Sumeragi head. "Sumeragi-dono!" I called out, rushing towards him confidently.
Subaru was startled by my sudden infringement on his isolation, and flinched at my call. "What do you want?"
No 'Who are you?', no introductions, straight to the point. "I wanted to be able to listen to your story."
Subaru frowned and walked past me, not inquiring what I meant specifically as most do. "Not interested."
"But," I began. "As the head of such a powerful family..."
A hiss.
And before I could tell what or where it came from, a black shadow rose above Subaru. It's eyes narrowed, glowering with an unnatural purple light, and stared at me like a row of archers. In the velvet sky it's exact shape was cloudy. A mere dark mass of enormous size swooping towards me in an attack with another hiss.
Like any sane person would have under the circumstances, I covered my face and prepared to die.
Only nothing happened.
When I finally drew my face out from the safe darkness my arms had made for it, I saw Subaru-dono holding my squabbling would-be assassin, who turned out to be no more than a boy on the cusp of his late teens, by the nap of his neck like a puppy.
"What have I told you about that?" Subaru asked sternly.
"Owowow... Subaru that hurts!!" the boy whined. "I was just trying to scare him away!"
The Sumeragi set the boy down on his feet. "What are you doing here?"
The boy shrugged, a playful lopsided grin on his face. "Out looking for you, I wanted to ask you something..."
The frown did not subside. "You shouldn't be out flying alone."
The boy snorted, "Alone? Alone? Who's going to go with me Subaru?"
Subaru lifted one of his ofuda silently.
"Feh," he folded the wings onto his back-- and immediately I realized it was those black things that had made such a small teenager look huge and threatening. "Those silly things can never keep up. You worry too much Subaru, it's not like I'm going to go splat on the windshield of a lowflying plane."
For a second, it appeared a smile broke onto Subaru's face. "And of course no one will ever notice a slightly demonic looking creature weaving through skyscrapers, because this is Tokyo right?"
The boy frowned.
"And no one would ever ever think to call the papers or the police if they did seen it? Especially not a large group of people right?"
The winged creature blushed and shrugged meekly, "that wasn't my fault..."
"It was entirely your fault, and my Grandmother was not at all happy about it."
Apparently buzzing Tokyo Tower had become one of Rocky's favorite past times. An observation deck full of people one afternoon had caused quite a scandal for the Sumeragi. Of course no one outside the magickal community-- save for the witnesses-- believed the story, but his Grandmother had to handle a few more panicked calls from priests and onmyouji then she was prepared to. She, who had not been entirely pleased with her grandson's decision to give the boy such a feature in the first place, was very frank about her opinion on the matter.
"Ummmm...excuse me," I interrupted timidly.
Both young men looked down at me curiously, they had apparently forgotten all about my presence among them.
"I ... well, if you don't mind... what the hell is going on?"
Rocky looked expectantly at Subaru, who shrugged casually and told the boy, "your problem now," before walking back toward his apartment.
"What? Can't you just ... you know ... the memory thing." Rocky smiled hopefully at Subaru, his eyes pleading with the older man.
"No," Subaru said calmly, pulling a cigarette out of pocket and lighting it. It was one of the few times I can recall him giving into that lingering addiction. "You're going to have to start cleaning up after your own mistakes. Don't rely on me to pull you out of these things."
Rocky looked back at me, his face a mix regret and uneasiness. "If you hadn't of stopped me..."
"Then you'd likely be in much more trouble, there are a lot of psychos out there ... how many 'strange winged demon' reports do you think they need before they start pointing their rifles at the sky instead of each other?"
Rocky bit his lip, "I don't know how to fix this Subaru..."
Subaru shrugged and began to walk away again, "I'm sure you'll figure something out."
"But--"
There was a howl in the wind and their voices drained from their throats. Subaru looked around, a frown drawn tightly on his face, his eyes searching for something we could not see. He was suddenly tense, prepared to move into battle at any moment.
It was probably just the wind curving around the high-rise buildings I thought.
Rocky's wings fanned out, the breeze causing their leather to puff and lift him slightly. "Neh Subaru?"
Subaru nodded, reaching in his coat for something. "Stay down," he instructed.
Rocky frowned but snapped his wings closed, causing his heels to drop back to the ground. Even I could see that if something was to attack us, the boy would have the advantage of much greater maneuverability in the air. On the ground he was vulnerable, slow and clumsy. "Should I...?"
The sense of tension in the air did not die, but a heard the Sumeragi sigh as if as had been settled. Subaru relaxed, straightening up and shaking a silent 'No.' It did not look, to me at least, like the danger was over, only that the onmyouji had resigned himself to it. "It's nothing, why don't you head home? ... I'll take care of this."
There was a powerful chill in the air, even I ... a so called 'normal person' could sense it. No doubt it was dancing across Rocky's senses, taunting him with obvious danger that could easily overpower the Sumeragi.
"But..."
Subaru put his hands together and began to chant sacred words softly to himself. We stood waiting in haunting silence as the words left unspeakable impression on our minds. They have no translation, I'm told, merely something unconscious expressed in sound. The will of a power that cannot be conceived in digestible symbols, only the abstract.
There was a high pitched shriek, most definitely not the wind this time, and a blue whip of liquid light lashed out from the darkness.
An explosion of blood. Rocky let out a choked cry and shot forward, smoke walls wafting between us and Subaru. He kept his wings close, allowing them to carry him with a leap into the mist. "Subaru!!!"
Rocky's slight body dove in as two white birds shot out. The unseen threat wailed at the attack, whether in pain or anger I cannot say.
When the smoke clearly enough to cast only a thin screen I saw Rocky huddled close to the onmyouji, trying to help him up, or possibly trying to shield him from further attack. Subaru gruffly pushed him away, clasping his injured arm angrily. He said something to the boy, who nodded like a soldier and took to the sky.
I saw the shape of a woman, her soul enraged. She looked as if she was made of mist, the hallow spots where her eyes should be glaring at Subaru. She opened her mouth and no sound came out.
I don't know what Rocky managed to do to divert her attention. But her long arms were snapping at him in the sky like spears.
The boy was incredibly agile in the air, darting and swirling and evading each attack almost effortlessly. His eyes only half open, short hair flowing about him, his wings shaping the wind's power to his need-- flipping and rolling and diving-- he was ecstasy in flight. Like a paper streamer caught in the breeze.
I heard a shout from Subaru and with a violent hiss the spirit was gone, falling prey to whatever banishment the Sumeragi had used.
Rocky dropped out the sky and landed in a run, calling out to Subaru with heavy panting.
"Rough day at work?" I asked the onmyouji who, to my surprise, actually smiled with a painful shrug.
Rocky scowled and placed himself between us, facing Subaru. "We need to get you to the hospital," he said.
Subaru brushed himself off apathetically. "I'm fine."
The boy was caught off guard, his mouth hanging slightly open as he clicked his tongue in disapproval. The Sumeragi was obviously in a lot of pain and his blood was decorating the street with deep scars of red. The wound was starting to close, but it was deep and stitches would be wise. All this was obvious to Rocky but whatever protest the boy was going to make he swallowed, "let's get you home then."
------------
"Do you always run away from the people you love Subaru-kun?" Seishirou lifted his arm gently, a dark hawk appearing, perched on his shoulder. His face was decidedly neutral, but his eyes were sharpened with an unnatural thrill.
One of the many disadvantages in teaching the Sakurazukamori to feel ... his new sense of battle exhilaration.
"Do you always try to force violence out of the people you love Seishirou-san?"
"I have no idea, I've never loved anyone before."
Subaru supposed that was true, but he frowned anyway. "I'm afraid I'm missing the point of this part of the game."
Seishirou shrugged, "only the last step Subaru-kun, before the end."
Subaru nodded, not understanding a word of it, but accepting it all the same. The time had come from his promised death. He drew his ofuda, though he was not ready for it yet. He thought that he wanted his death, and maybe he did, but... He was not ready to fight Seishirou, not like this. He loved him so much, and he did not doubt that Seishirou felt the same ... he couldn't understand how the man could be capable of even preposing such a duel. "Shall we begin then?"
"No," Seishirou said calmly, his bird fading into nothingness. "I could force you into it ... that after all wasn't beyond you, but I perfer not to."
They had spent months playing this game, Subaru running rather than fight Seishirou, Seishirou hunting him. But it was a meaningless hunt, there only to remind Subaru of the inevitable. That he could not run forever and one day he would come to the battlefield ready for death.
He could not understand why so much had changed, yet so much stayed the same. Have the love he gave to Seishirou changed nothing? The man still wanted to kill him...
"How very kind of you," Subaru snorted.
--------------
For a while Rocky flew in circles over Tokyo. He did not even notice, the pain was so great, so encompassing, it consumed all of his thoughts. He knew only that it was necessary that he leave, that the pain would only be slower and worse if he stayed.
That knowledge ... it did not stop the tears. It did not stop the nervous burning in his wrists. It did not stop the ache in his chest. To know that he must leave or suffer and force Subaru to suffer. It did not make anything better.
He let his wings just carry him with the will of the wing, body limp and tired. Gliding, endlessly gliding, aimless, broken among the clouds and soft chill that hung over Tokyo. Not carrying much where he was going
Breathing was a bit difficult because he was so high up, and it drained the tears out of him quickly. It was hard to sob when one couldn't breath. It was good, he thought. He didn't want to know that he was crying. He didn't want to think about how good it felt to sob out the loss.
He dropped rather quickly, probably faster than was safe, he's wings losing the breeze. He didn't especially care. It was not that he was suicidal, it was that the feeling of the wind rushing passed him was therapeutic. The cool breeze massaging his ever sense as he fell faster and faster.
His wings bulged as the breeze picked up again and she scooped Rocky out of his freefall. He watched the ground move underneath him. Watched the tiny people walking, blissfully unaware of him. He watched his vague shadow moving slowly across the pavement.
After a while the people stopped flowing under him, trickling under to only an occasional dot under his gaze. He realized that it was quite late and that he had been aimlessly flying around for a couple of hours. He should have been far from Tokyo by now.
Rocky was not disobedient by nature. Neither was it in his nature to be deceitful. So when he landed in, what he realized was, the middle of Ueno Park he did not do it to intentionally thwart anything. He did it because while gliding effortlessly, his eyes half lidded and lonely, he caught sight of something that forced him to land.
The sight stiffened his whole body, making him fall like a stone whether he wished to or not.
It was a body, a bloody mess of a person. Lying their on the park's soft organic carpet. The tips of the green grass were smeared with a reddish black ink ... blood. As they swayed in the wind, they seemed like dancing knifes drinking the blood of the fallen...
Girl, not older than him. There was the massive wound in her chest, it seemed like her heart had just exploded and caused the blood to flood out of her, leaving behind this mess of tissue.
He stood there, watching the girl's cloudy eyes, like a doll's... glassy ... lifeless. Not sure what he should do.
As he stared, the scent of blood and the beginnings of decay fulling his nostrils, he noticed something unusual. The girl ... she seemed to be pointing to something. Pointing down the path into a darker, hidden part of the park.
"There..."
He continued to stare at her.
"There..."
He finally forced his eyes away from the image and looked up to where the dead girl pointed.
Then light torn through the trees, an explosion of the whitest light that forced him to look away. He felt a powerful chill run through him and without thought his body sprang to life, running quickly through the trees to the source of the spell.
More blood. White... black... and red mating creating pinks and grays. He felt as if the image had been frozen in a snow globe in front of him. He couldn't speak, the words pounded in his head, playing over and playing like a record that was skipping, but his voice had left him.
Seishirou Sakurazuka was dead.
Startled out of whatever trance he had been lured into the survivor turned to him. A man much older than him, with eyes that seemed so much younger. Blood streaked across his face and washed over his arms.
"Subaru..."
"I've lost it..." the Sumeragi said.
