X - On the Edge of Fear

/Well... things seem brighter./ Dark said.

"Yes." Dark said as he worked on his paper.

/Are you going to try again?/

"I think so." Daisuke said after some hesitation.

/You've waited long enough./

"I'll ask her as soon as I finish my paper." Daisuke said. He
suddenly found it hard to concentrate on his text book.

/Good because if you weren't I was going to write a note and leave it
in her box./

"Hey!"

/I'm only doing what's good for you./

"Sure... my family tried to kill me, they called that training, that
was supposed to be good for me?" he asked saracastically.

/It got you out of a lot scrapes. I wouldn't knock it./

"Yeah yeah I know." Daisuke said with a laugh.

He heard a knock on the door.

"Come in." he said as he turned the page in his text book. "Where is
that info I needed on greek sculpture..."

"Daisuke-san?"

He stopped mid turn and looked at his doorway.

/Speak of the devil! Or shall we say angel?/ Dark said with a smile.

/Angel./ Daisuke said a bit dazed. /Hey wait!/

Dark snickered.

Sakura stood at his doorway uncertain. She wore a blue jean shirt and
a blouse. Her coat was slung over her arm.

/Yes an angel with beautiful green eyes./ Dark said.

/.../

/Awww Daisuke, no need to get jealous, you know who I'm after./

/I'm not jealous!/

"Sakura-san." he said putting his pen down.

"Am I interrupting?"

"No!" he exclaimed, "Not at all."

"Oh." she said, "You seemed very into your work."

"I needed a break." Daisuke said with a smile, "You're a welcome
break."

She blushed and suddenly found her coat to be the most fascinating
thing in the world.

"So what brings you to my place?" he asked.

"I wanted to talk to you." she said a bit nervously.

He smiled at her and took her coat and placed it on his bed. He
noticed her hands were shaking.

/Why?/

/Maybe she's nervous about the date?/ Dark suggested. /Offer her some
tea, it will calm her down./

He stood up and walked to the corner he and Kentarou set up. It held
a hot water maker and some cups. "Would you like some tea?"

She nodded, "That'd be great."

He made some tea in a new mug and refilled his cup.

"I didn't know you liked Saga." she said.

He glanced at her standing near his bookcase, she was looking at his
video game collection. Boxes were piled on the floor in front.

"I work for them." he said. He handed her her cup and motioned for
her to sit in Kentarou's desk chair.

"Oh!" she said, "No wonder you have a collection that would make any
guy drool with envy."

He laughed as she sat down in Kentarou's chair. He placed his mug
next to his keyboard and pointed to the boxes, "That's their demo
stuff. Kentarou feels like he's rooming with a god, especially after
he found out that I knew Keiji Saga. I let him play the games."

"I know a friend who would just worship the ground you walk on if he
could play half your collection." she said. She smiled at him.

He smiled back and walked up to her, placed his hands on both the
arms so that he was at eye level with her, not to mention very close
to her face. "Was there something you wanted to talk to me about?" he
asked.

Sakura's smile fell a bit. "Yes." she said as she looked down at the
mug of tea in her hands.

Daisuke stood up again and sat down in his chair.

She smiled up at him, "I appreciate you asking me out on a date last
week."

"I hope you enjoyed it." he said.

"I did." she said with a nod.

"Perhaps we can go out again?" he asked.

She looked up at him, "I came here to ask you if we can become
friends." she said.

He took a drink of the tea to steady himself for what came next.

"You're a nice person, but I can't- I can't do this." she said.

"Is it something I did during the date?" he asked looking at her. It
was a bad idea, he felt a sharp pang of pain in his heart. She was so
beautiful and having her say this to him was sensory overload.

"Oh no!" she exclaimed, "You were a very good date." she said.

"But..." he said as he stood up. He thought things were going well.

/She seemed to give off clues that she was interested./ Dark said
confused. /Granted they were hidden under a veil of sarcasm, but the
date seemed to open her up to so much./

/Tell me about it./ Daisuke muttered.

/Daisuke calm down... we can try again with-/ Dark was interrupted by
Sakura.

"I'm not ready." she said. "I thought I was and... I didn't want to
lead you on. You're so nice, and maybe we can just go on being
friends." she said in rush.

"When will you be ready?" Daisuke asked angrily. Sakura looked up
surprised. He knew she had never seen him angry. He made sure she
never had a reason to see him angry.

/Daisuke this could drive her away./

/Look at her, she's so nervous about this, I would be too, if I met
someone that could be a good match for me, I'd be running for the
hills./

/You did./ Dark said with a smirk.

/This is no time for joking!/

He sighed and ran a hand through his read hair, "I'm sorry." he said
as he looked down at his desk. "Its just that... there's something
about you that I want to get to know better. I like you a lot."

"I'm sorry." she said, "I'm just not-"

"I know," he said dully, "'just not ready.'" he repeated. He turned
to her, "But Sakura-san, love doesn't come to you when you're ready."
he said. "Just as love doesn't go away when you're ready." he looked
at her, "Sometimes you don't realize how good you have it until you
hold the person you love in your arms and she's gone."

Sakura's eyes widened. Daisuke looked so sad.

"Sometimes..." he said, "Love dies unexpectedly." he unconsciously
touched the ring around his neck.

He looked up at her, "But I'll wait, as long as it takes." he
said. "But I won't wait forever."

"I-"

"Just do me a favor." he said.

"That is..." she asked.

"Don't come to me until you're ready." he said. "To see your face and
to have this love for you is too much." he realized that as soon as
he said that he was kissing his chances good bye.

/Perhaps with the mysterious Card Captor.../ Dark said.

/That's your quarry./ Daisuke said.

/She's like you./ Dark said.

/I don't want her./ Daisuke said.

"I understand." Sakura said and she rushed out of the room.

Daisuke collapsed into his desk chair and let his head rest in his
hands.

/Perhaps,/ Dark said with an amused tone, /you're not just attracted
to her./




Sakura ran back to the dorm blindingly.

"Sakura!"

She looked up and blinked a few times. Ran looked down at
her, "Something wrong?"

Sakura shook her head, tears spilling from her eyes.

"Let's go back to my apartment." Ran said, "You're not fit to go out
alone."

"But-" Ran ignored Sakura's weak protests and dragged her back to her
apartment.




"So what is going on?" Ran asked as she gave Sakura a mug of tea.

Sakura had curled up in a corner of the the couch.

"Nothing." Sakura said with a sigh, "Its just..."

"Is this about Daisuke?" she asked.

Sakura ducked her face behind her mug.

"Oh! I knew!" Ran said with a smile, "He's great Sakura, he's so
patient with you. Don't let him go."

"He deserves someone better than me." she said, "Someone... someone
human!" she said.

"What do you mean?" Ran asked as she straddled a chair, her arms
hanging over the back of the chair. "You're as human as any of us."

"No I'm not." she said, "I want to be normal but that will never
happen. Its because of me that I lost Shaoran, he went to someone
else."

"Sakura..." Ran said softly.

"If I was more compliant I would have said yes, I would have gone
with him and lived with him." she said tears slipping from her
face. "But I couldn't leave Japan. I had to chose Japan or him."

"Couldn't you have worked something out?"

Sakura shook her head, "I tried." she said, "We would date and I had
no idea that his family matched him up with his fiancee." tears
spilled from her eyes into her tea mug. "He had to marry her. It was
a family obligation." she babbled. "What if I wasn't the card captor?
What if Shaoran and I were just normal people? We could have stayed
together."

Ran slid off her chair and wrapped her arms around Sakura, "Its not
your fault." she said.

"It is!" she said, "If I wasn't so... so... he wouldn't have looked
at her, he would have stayed."

"Oh Sakura, you don't know that." Ran said sadly.

"I wanted to burn the cards." Sakura whispered, "I wanted to burn
them, they had no more value to me. They only reminded me of
Shaoran." she said crying, "Everything reminded me of Shaoran."
Sakura wiped her tears, "He was the only one that could understand
the clow cards." she said, "I thought I was going to spend the rest
of my life with him." she whispered. "Who else would understand this
part of me?"

"What about Daisuke?" Ran said as she smoothed Sakura's hair
down. "He's very patient. I'm sure that, like me, he'll understand."

"Or run away screaming." Sakura said. "I couldn't tell him." she
said. She looked up at Ran, "I don't want to lose him. If that means
hiding the truth from him, then I'll do it."

"Oh Sakura..." Ran said. "Are you sure? The Clow Card magic makes you
so happy. Those cards are you."




Dark found her sitting on the rooftop. He was surprised to find her
note slipped into one of the information frames of the Hikari
paintings.

"Not going to chase me tonight?" he asked.

"No." she said.

"Well by the sound of your note..." he turned to see her face, it was
dull. "Something wrong?"

She nodded. "Maybe you understand." she said.

"Oh?"

"See... I met this guy." he noticed a faint blush under her mask.

Dark did not let on the feeling of heartbreak on his face.

/You and me both it seems./ Daisuke said sadly.

"Oh?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Yes." she said, "He's very friendly and nice to everybody. He's a
good friend." she said.

"But?" he asked despite the anguish and anxiety he felt.

"I went on date with him." she said. "It went really well."

"So?" he asked.

"It went too well." she said as she looked down at her hands. "If I
went out with him I would have considered falling in love with him.
Not quite in love but almost." she looked at him, "I'm not sure if
I'm clear."

"I undersand." Dark said as he lowered his head a bit, he didn't want
to her to see the disappointment in his face.

"I'm not ready." she whispered as she looked up at the sky.

"Ahhh previous relationship." Dark said as he leaned back against the
roof.

She nodded. "Shaoran-" she stopped. "I guess I can tell you his name
since you probably won't know him anyways, Shaoran and I were friends
since elementary school. But we had been together as a couple since
junior high. I've known him for almost nine years."

"That's a long time." he said with a low whistle.

"Yes." she said. "However, two years ago... he asked me to marry him
and return with him to Hong Kong."

"Why didn't you say yes?" Dark asked.

"I wasn't ready." she said, "I wasn't ready to leave Japan and school
and my family." she smiled wistfully. "I guess you could say, I
didn't love him enough."

"That's not true."

She shook her head, "If I did love him enough I would have gone." she
said. "His family wouldn't have cared that I was a card captor. They
would have loved it. I broke his heart, and in turn he broke mine."
she said sadly. "I loved him so much."

"Is he the reason why you won't go out with the new guy?" Dark asked.

She nodded. "I'm afraid."

"What is there to be afraid of?" Dark asked. "Is he mean?"

She shook her head.

"Is he vain? Stupid? Cocky? A jerk?"

She laughed, "No, he's none of them, he's very sure of himself, he
carries himself with such security. He's very happy and wants
everybody to be happy too." she said. "He's everything a person could
want."

"Then..." Dark asked slowly, "Whats wrong?"

"He's too good!" she exclaimed, "He's patient and intelligent, he
never takes no for an answer." she blushed, "And he's good looking.
He could have anybody."

"But he asked you." Dark said.

/This hurts huh?/ Daisuke asked.

/More than you'll ever know./ Dark said.

"But he doesn't know that I'm a Clow Card Mistress, or that I have a
talking plushie." she said. "Normal people would go running towards
the hills if they found out."

Dark smiled with a nod, "I know how that feels."

"Do you?" she asked as she turned to look at him.

"Well, I mean I'm a kaitou and all." Dark said.

She nodded.

"So why not me?" he asked giving her a nudge.

She smiled, "I appreciate it."

"But you're thinking about this guy." he said.

She nodded.

"Believe it or not." Dark said as he looked up at the sky. "Guys who
are very secure on the outside, are very vulnerable on the inside.
While he may seem on the outside that he can accept any answer you
give him, on the inside it will affect him much much more. Sometimes
they have their weaknesses, but they rarely show them."

She nodded. "Yes." she said.

"And he's willing to wait for you?" he said.

"Well I think so..."

"You think so?"

"Yes." she said.

"Don't let him go." Dark said.

/Man this hurts./

/I know./ Daisuke said.

She smiled. "I don't know why I came to you." she said.

"I guess its because we have alternate lives." Dark said.

"I feel like I can trust you." she said. She turned to him, "We had
an agreement. A painting for a mask."

"Yes." Dark said.

"I want to honor that agreement."

"Its not necessary-" Dark protested.

"I trust you." she said. "But that doesn't mean that I won't try to
catch you." she smiled under the mask.

He nodded.

She pulled the gloves off her hands and untied the knot in the back
of her head.

Dark's eyes widened as the mask slipped.

/I had no idea.../ Daisuke said.

/Neither did I./ Dark said.

She let the mask fall into her lap and rose her eyes. Green eyes.

"No more hiding." she said.