Disclaimer: I don't own any of the ER characters.

Rating: PG

Note: This fanfic involves Susan / Carter / Abby / Luka. This is the first chapter. Each chapter will be from a different character's point of view. Please read and review - be kind - this is my first REAL fanfic. Thanks - Suzilee

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Tired. Susan Lewis was tired. Exhausted really - she was just getting off after working a double shift. Mark had called in sick, leaving Weaver short-handed. With Chen, Malucci, and Finch gone for good, and various people on vacation, the ER was dangerously understaffed. Kerry had asked her to work a double-shift, as "a favor." As if Susan owed Kerry a thing. But it was nice to have Kerry in her debt, for once.

She walked into the lounge, stopping at her locker to drop off her coat. She started to open it, then realized that this was her OLD locker, from before. It was weird really to have a different locker. It was such a small thing, but one of the many that contributed to her feeling of disorientation. So many things were different now. New systems, new administrators, new policies, new nurses, new doctors… She felt so - off her stride.

When Mark had lured her back to County, she had felt an overwhelming sense of relief. She'd left Phoenix because really, she didn't feel that she belonged there. Susie had a family now, and although she loved playing auntie, it was time for Susan to find something of her own. A place where she could build her own life, and eventually, maybe her own family. Coming back to County, she expected that at least in terms of work, she could get back to the familiar - back to a place where she knew exactly where she fit. Except that she still didn't know where she fit in. Mark, previously her best friend, was married with a new baby, and their old friendship didn't seem appropriate somehow. Carol and Doug were gone… Jeannie was gone, and now Peter. The only really friendly welcoming faces were those of the nurses, and Kerry. Although you couldn't really say that Kerry was welcoming. And then there was Carter.

Susan sighed as she looked into the little mirror that was hanging in her locker. She grabbed some lipstick from her purse, and applied a little, trying to take the edge off of the weariness in her appearance. The thing with Carter was - well, she wasn't sure what it was yet. It had started as a renewal of their friendship. It had been so comforting to spend time with someone familiar. Carter was so fun and easy to be with, and so sweet. Knowing about his past crush made it almost natural to start flirting with him. It had rapidly developed from there.

'So, if everything is so great, why aren't I happy?' Susan thought. She thought she knew part of the reason. Their relationship was too fun. Everything about their relationship was about smiling, joking around, and having a good time. That was great, and she enjoyed it, but there was no depth to their conversations yet. John didn't seem willing to confide in her. He would briefly tell her about things as they happened - about his parents, about his problems - but he wouldn't tell her how it affected him or how he felt about it. It was extremely frustrating. His eyes often looked troubled and she knew that he was hurting. But he refused to talk about it. When she would ask him about it, he always brushed it off with a smile, inevitably cracking some small joke to change the subject. 'Where is this headed, if we can't talk?' she thought.

Her thoughts were interrupted as Dr. Kovac came in with a huge pile of charts. One of the files fell off the top of the pile, and it's contents spilled out on the floor. "Need a hand?" she asked, picking up the errant papers.

"Thanks Dr. Lewis," he said as he put the pile down on the lunch table.

"Call me Susan," she said. Susan hadn't really gotten a chance to speak with Dr. Kovac much beyond - hello/ goodbye/how are you chatter.

"OK, but only if you'll call me Luka," he said good naturedly.

"Luka? Is that a Russian name?" Susan small-talked.

"It's Croatian." Luka looked at the pile of charts, a small frown washing over his face. "These charts - I think they are multiplying by themselves."

Susan chuckled. "Well, I'd love to help you solve the mystery, but I'm off. Have fun." Susan grabbed her coat and hurried out of the lounge, leaving Luka sitting there scowling at the charts.

As she walked towards the ambulance bay doors, she glanced around the ER. Abby Lockhart was at the admit desk, deep in conversation with Weaver. Susan grimaced in spite of herself. "How appropriate," she said under her breath, "an unfriendly person talking to an unfriendlier person." At first, Susan had tried to befriend the efficient nurse. In some ways, Abby reminded her a little of Carol. 'An immature, more depressed version,' she thought. But friendship didn't seem to be in the cards for them - Abby was all prickles towards her. Each time Susan tried to talk to Abby, she had been rebuffed. It was getting old. Lately, every time Susan said anything, even during a trauma, Abby rolled her eyes. She longed to ask the nurse just what the hell there was to roll your eyes about every time that she asked for a freaking clamp or something.

Actually, Susan thought she had a pretty good idea of what the problem between her and Abby might be, and he was walking right towards her.

"Hi there," she said, smiling.

"Hi yourself," he walked over to her, and leaned in for a quick kiss. "You just getting off?"

"Yeah, I pulled a double-shift." Susan tugged at the scarf she had gotten him for Christmas. "Niiiiiiiiiice. Someone has good taste, I see."

Carter smiled down at her, gave her a little kiss on the tip of her nose, then looked off towards the ER. "I'd better get in - I'm late. Want me to call you later?"

"You'd better."

He smiled again, and headed off towards the ER.

Susan watched him walk into the building. She wasn't sure exactly what had gone on between Abby and Carter. She had gathered from the nurses gossip that Carter had a thing for Abby, and that Abby and Luka had broken up because of Carter. But then nothing between Carter and Abby appeared to have happened. When she had asked Carter about it before, he blew it off by saying that they were just friends. Carter never talked about it, and she definitely wasn't going to ask him about it again.

'One thing is for certain,' Susan thought. 'If John and I don't make this thing work, I'm not going to let it be because of Abby Lockhart.' A determined look spread over her face, and she hurried into the cold to catch the el.

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To be continued?