Disclaimer: I don't own any of the ER characters.
Rating: PG
Note: This story involves Susan / Carter / Abby / Luka. This is the third chapter. Each chapter will be from a different character's point of view. Please read and review. Thanks - Suzilee
Weary
Chapter Three: Carter
"Well Mrs. McCreary, sounds like it was a nasty fall," Carter said, gently probing his patient's shoulders. "It's hard to believe, but there are no obvious fractures. Let me know if this hurts," he said, as he carefully continued press her bones, making his way down her back. When he reached her tailbone, she jumped and expelled her breath.
"Ow," she said, face scrunched up in pain. "Right there."
"O.K. We're going to need x-rays, so that we can see if there are any fractures." Carter picked up her chart and made a few notes.
Mrs. McCreary watched him for a moment, and then asked, "Is it going to take long? I need to pick-up my daughter at day-care."
"Actually, you might want to call someone to do that for you - I know that the lab is a bit behind today. Sorry about that." He turned to Haleh. "She's going to need a full set. It's a long shot, but see if they can bump her in line?"
Haleh nodded, and took the chart from him. "OK, let's get you over to x-ray, and we'll see what we can do," she said, as she helped the patient into a wheelchair.
Carter left them, and wandered over to the board. After updating his patient's info, he surveyed it for a minute. There wasn't much there. It had been a very slow morning. No traumas, just a lot of small injuries and negligible illness, and a lot of busy work. He was pretty bored. Abby hadn't been kidding when she'd said that it was slow.
He looked over at her, standing nearby, quietly reviewing a chart. She'd been looking at it for quite some time. "Got anything interesting?" he said.
She kept her eyes on the chart. "Uh, no. Just having a hard time reading the handwriting." She looked almost guilty.
"Can I help?" He looked over her shoulder. It looked perfectly legible to him.
She snatched it out of view. "No - thanks though."
He leaned against the counter. She'd been avoiding him for weeks. Things had been awkward ever since their conversation by the river, but since he'd started seeing Susan, they'd grown progressively worse. Now she wouldn't even look at him. It bothered him.
"Listen, Abby…" She looked up, her brown eyes inscrutable. He stopped for a moment, surprised by the eye contact.
He watched her for a minute, trying to gage her mood.
"What?!" she said impatiently.
"Could we talk later? Maybe have lunch or-"
"Actually," she said slowly, "today isn't good for me."
"Well, maybe tomorrow?" He looked down at her, willing her to say yes. They really needed to clear the air.
"Tomorrow looks bad too. Besides, you and Dr. Lewis are both scheduled, so I'm sure that you'll be busy for lunch," she looked away from him, eyes flashing.
Dr. Kovac called to her from Curtain 3. "Hey Abby, could you help me in here?"
"Be right there." She looked almost relieved as she put the chart back in its place, and swiftly went to help Luka.
'Damn,' he thought. 'I don't know why I even bother. She can't even be civil now.' He couldn't believe how quickly their relationship had deteriorated. It almost made him think that she was jealous, except that for the past couple of weeks, every time he turned around, he'd seen Luka and Abby with their heads together - talking in the hallway, working on patients together... It was almost as if Abby was Luka's nurse alone. And maybe she was.
'I wish that we could still be friends,' he thought. He missed her. He missed the way she understood him, their easy banter, he even missed her cynical sarcasm. But she didn't seem to be interested in being his friend any longer. He'd tried to start conversations on numerous occasions, but she always bit his head off or refused to talk to him, beyond what was absolutely necessary.
He wanted to talk to her about it, but couldn't figure out how to approach her. 'What would I say,' he thought. 'Gee Abby, I'm sorry that I told the truth when we talked, and I'm sorry that I was right about it, and I'm sorry that I'm moving on with my life now?' He slowly shook his head in irritation.
Haleh's voice startled him out of his thoughts. "Carter, x-ray said that there would be at least a 2 hour wait. I tried my best."
"Thanks Haleh," Carter said.
"Hey Carter," Randi called. "Message for you - Dr. Lewis called."
"Why didn't you come and get me?" he asked.
"Didn't know where you were," she said shortly, heading back to her window.
He rolled his eyes in her direction.
"So, things going o.k. with Dr. Lewis?" Haleh asked.
Carter pursed his lips. "Fine, Haleh. We're just friends." He strode away, looking for a place to make a private call.
"Uh-huh," she said with a knowing smile on her face.
Carter swore under his breath. He didn't know why he had said that to her. Obviously, they weren't just friends. Everyone in the ER already knew it. He just wasn't sure if he was ready to be that open about it - to be an acknowledged couple for everyone to talk about and gossip over.
He found a phone, and dialed her number.
"Hello?" Susan answered the phone after several rings
"Hey, it's John." He still felt weird when he called - like he needed a specific reason to call. They weren't at the stage yet where he felt like he could just pick up the phone for no reason at all. "Heard you called me…"
"Hi Carter." She sounded a little sleepy.
"What are you doing up? It hasn't even been 6 hours since you went home."
"Couldn't sleep. Listen, I'm bored to death here. Do you want to grab lunch at Doc Magoos?"
He smiled, relieved that he hadn't been able to make plans with Abby. "Sure. What time?"
"In about an hour?"
"Sounds good." He paused, unsure of what to say next. "Well, o.k. then, I'll see you there."
"O.k. See ya." She hung up the phone.
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Four patients later, Carter checked his watch. 'I'm gonna be late,' he thought. Susan would understand though - she obviously knew what life as an ER doctor was like. That was one of the things he appreciated about Susan - they had so much in common.
He headed for the exit, stopping as Abby approached him.
"Carter?"
"Yeah…" He looked at her sourly. After the way she'd behaved earlier, he wasn't going to take any more of her crap today.
She wrung her hands and looked up at him almost nervously. "Listen, can I take you up on that lunch offer after all?"
Surprise registered on his face. 'What the hell?' he thought. 'Now, she wants to talk?' He wondered if he would ever figure her out.
"I'm sorry about earlier, I'm just…" Her voice trailed off for a minute. She stared at an invisible spot on the ground, poking at it with her shoe. "I guess I'm just not sure how to act with you anymore. But I'm sorry for treating you like - like…" she stopped, searching for the right words.
"Like the enemy?" he gently teased. He smiled at her, his eyes full of mischief.
She half-smirked, and raised an eyebrow. "Well, yeah." She looked at the clock on the wall. "So do you want to head over now? I can go on my break."
'Oh shit,' he thought, suddenly remembering Susan. "Oh no - uh, actually Abby… I just remembered - I made other plans when you said that you couldn't have lunch. Could we do it another time?" He smiled weakly, knowing exactly how well this would go over with her.
To his relief, she didn't look angry, just disappointed, and she said, "Sure. Another time." She started to walk away, head down.
"Abby?" he said cautiously.
She stopped quickly and looked up at him. "Yeah?"
He looked into her eyes, trying to think of something significant to say. "I'm glad that - that you want to talk." 'Damn, that sounded lame,' he thought. But he wanted to say something. He was so relieved at this new thawing out of their relationship, and he wanted to keep talking to her for a minute.
"Me too." A little smile crept over her face, and they both stood there for a moment looking at each other.
"We could definitely do it tomorrow," Carter said. "We're both on, and --"
A familiar voice interrupted him. "There you are. I've been waiting over at Doc Magoos for half an hour. Thought I'd wander over to see if you're about ready."
Carter watched as the expression on Abby's face hardened. His heart sunk a little.
He turned to greet Susan. "Just had a few things to take care of. Sorry for making you wait." She looked at him expectantly, waiting for a kiss hello, but Carter avoided her gaze.
Susan looked a little dismayed, but tucked herself under his arm, and put a smile on her face anyway. "Hi Abby. How are you?"
Abby's face was expressionless. "I'm fine, thanks." She paused. "Well, I won't keep you." She looked at Carter with a frown. "Have a good lunch."
"Abby, about what we were talking about…" Carter started.
"Forget it Carter," she snapped at him. "It's not that important anyway." With that, she headed back towards the ER.
He stared after her soberly as she walked away. He glanced over at Susan only to see that she was watching him look at Abby.
"What was that about?" she asked.
"Nothing."
"Is that woman ever in a good mood?"
Carter didn't answer. He looked at her, trying to shake off his disappointment. He smiled at Susan. "Ready to go?"
"Let's roll."
They walked out the door, with his arm around her shoulders.
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Carter picked at his sandwich.
"We need to hire more doctors, but we have to get approval from upstairs first, and I'm not sure when that is going to happen," Susan said.
"I'm sure it will work out." Carter said dismissively.
Susan looked at him with irritation. "Gee Carter, am I boring you?"
He looked back at her. "Sorry," he said sincerely. He gave her a half smile. "So why do you think the administration is dragging their feet?"
She studied his face for a minute, not answering. "Carter, what's bothering you?" she finally asked.
He hesitated, not knowing what, if anything, he should tell her.
"Carter, seriously. Talk to me. You can tell me anything, I swear."
"Well…" he stopped, unsure of himself.
"Carter," she said again, softly.
"It's really no big deal. It's just this thing with Abby. I feel weird talking to you about it," he said, suddenly becoming very interested in his coffee.
She sighed. "Why do you feel weird about it?"
"I don't know," he said. "The two of you don't really get along. And I don't think it's important enough to talk about, not really. I mean, every time that you had an argument with Carol or Mark, did you need to talk to someone about it? Do you know what I mean?"
"I guess so," she said, not looking convinced. "I just wish that you felt like you could talk to me. "
"I do," he said earnestly.
She shook her head. "No, you don't. Not about anything important." She stared at the menu board, biting her lip.
"That isn't true Susan."
She didn't challenge the statement, just looked down at her salad unhappily.
He looked out at the falling snow. He wanted to comfort her - to tell her that it wasn't true, but he wasn't sure if he could really say that. The truth was, he didn't feel comfortable talking to her about things yet. He had always had a little crush on her, and he still held her in a little bit of awe. When they had known each other before, they weren't peers - she was a doctor, and he was a lowly med student. He still felt a little bit like that when he talked to her - like a fumbling school kid.
And if he was going to have an in-depth discussion with her about anything, it certainly wouldn't be about Abby. He had something good with Susan - or rather, he could have something good with her, if only Abby would quit getting in the way. He couldn't deny the pangs of jealousy that he still felt whenever he saw Abby and Luka together. He knew that for a man involved with someone else, he thought about Abby far too much. 'It's normal for me to have a few left-over feelings for her,' he thought. 'After all, I was infatuated with her for over a year, it's hard to just switch those feelings off. And I have feelings for Susan too,' he told himself. 'And Susan is so much better for me.'
He looked back at Susan, putting a smile on his face. "Anyway, I'm not as deep as you're giving me credit for. A lot of times, I just don't have much to say."
She gave him a frustrated look. "Whatever, Carter."
"Really. I'm very shallow, I promise," he teased her, trying to get her to smile.
She reluctantly did so. "Eventually, I'm going to get to the bottom of the mystery that is Carter you know," she said, only half-kidding.
"I like that - Carter, international man of mystery," he said.
She gave him a courtesy chuckle. "Very original."
"I know," Carter said. He reached across the table for her hand. "We o.k.?"
She smiled at the touch, and nodded. "I'm gonna go wash my hands. Wait for me?"
"Till the end of time," he joked.
He stood up when she did, and gave her a quick gentle kiss.
"Wow - a public display of affection? Carter, I never thought you had it in you…" she smiled, and headed off towards the restroom.
Carter sunk back down in the booth, the smile slowly leaving his face. He watched out the window as Abby walked down the street with Lydia, obviously going to grab lunch somewhere. He watched her until she was out of sight, and then sat back with a sigh, rubbing his forehead.
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To be continued….
