Three Short Interludes

An Invader Zim Fanfiction by KidKourage

Part 1--'This Might Be the Start of a Beautiful Rivalry'

          Now, before I begin this little tale of extreme video gaming, let me explain the premise behind the three stories I am about to impart to you.  These short fanfictions were originally supposed to be subplots in other tales I have already posted, but though they are nice and fun, they didn't make the final cut for the larger stories.  However, the ideas just wouldn't go away, and remained floating in my brain, so I've decided to yank them out of there by finally writing them down.  And there you have it--these stories are stories simply because I can't keep my insanity to myself.  So let's get started, shall we?

This first happy little anecdote takes place within the context of The Plan…Thingy, my third Invader Zim fanfiction.  In case you don't remember or didn't read that one, here's a little summary: Zim wants revenge on the Wal-Mart employees who dared to lie to him in Wal-Mart (of DOOM), and enlists the aid of our heroine KidK.  More specifically, he wants to use her garage to build some weaponry for his attack.  But how to get KidK's Mom, Dad, and brother out of the house?  KidK ingeniously plays upon Mike-the-Brother's instinctual need to buy every Game-Boy game in existence, and sends her family on a wild goose-chase to find a game that doesn't even exist, thus buying Zim the time he needs to construct his tools of vengeance.  And so, our story begins…

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I'm just telling you what she said--that she saw a commercial for the new Dragon Warrior game.

KidK's Dad (skeptically):  Have there ever been commercials for Game-Boy games before?

Mike-the-Brother:  Well…no…but if that game is out then I need it!

KidK's Mom:  That's what you said about Harvest Moon 2, and you never play that anymore.

Mike-the-Brother:  Listen, I have like 50 games.  So of course I can't play them all at once!  That's how come I don't play Harvest Moon anymore--because I'm working on something else right now!

KidK's Mom:  Well, if you're working on something else, why do you need a new game?

Mike-the-Brother:  Because if I don't buy it when it first comes out, it'll get sold out by the time you guys finally let me have it, and then it'll be even harder to find!

KidK's Dad:  He's got a point there, LuAnn.

KidK's Mom:  Oh, you just buy those kids whatever they want, don't you?  You always act like you're not going to, but then you're always the first to cave.

KidK's Dad:  I just want my kids to be happy.  (it's true, he does!  ^.^)

KidK's Mom:  *sigh*  OK, Mike, get your coat on.  We'll go over to the mall.

Mike-the-Brother:  Cool!

About fifteen minutes later, the three arrive at the Babbages in the Burlington Center Mall.

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, no, the Ugly-Face Girl is working today!

KidK's Mom:  Keep your voice down, Mike.  That's not nice.  (she catches a glimpse of 'Ugly-Face Girl')  Though she really should do something about her skin…

KidK's Dad:  Come on, let's just look for the game and get out.

They scan the shelves of Game-Boy games and, unsurprisingly, fail to discover a new Dragon Warrior.

Ugly-Face Girl:  Can I *snuffle* help you with something?

KidK's Dad:  Uh, we're looking for a game called Dragon Warrior.

Ugly-Face Girl:  Well, we have One and Two, which are in one game, and Three, which is separate… (she is helpful, though she seems to have a perpetual blocked nostril)

KidK's Dad:  Do you have those, son?

Mike-the-Brother:  Yeah.

KidK's Mom:  Do you know if there's a new game about to come out?

Ugly-Face Girl:  Um…*sniffle* there's Dragon Warrior Monsters…

KidK's Mom:  But you don't have that?

Ugly-Face Girl:  I don't think so.  I could check…

KidK's Mom:  No, that's alright.  Come on, guys, we'll go to Best Buy.

KidK's Dad:  What?!  All the way to Moorestown?  And you say I'm caving!

KidK's Mom:  Well, now that we know that there's actually a game coming out, there's no point in going home and listening to him complain for weeks.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey!  I wouldn't complain for weeks!  It'd be months before I'd let you off the hook for making me miss a game!

A half-hour later, at the Moorestown Best Buy:

KidK's Dad:  Does anyone even know where they keep video games in this place?

KidK's Mom:  I think they've changed the layout.  Mike?

Mike-the-Brother:  No clue.  They took down the huge screen they used to play demos on above the game section, so now I don't have a point of reference.  Want to ask someone?

KidK's Dad:  OK.

He walks over to the nearest passerby, a very strange-looking person with a huge head balanced on an impossibly stick-thin body.

KidK's Dad:  Excuse me, but do you know where the video game section in this place is?  They changed the layout since we were last here and--

Happy Noodle Boy:  Gasp!  How is it that you know of my secret quest?!  Can it be that the hippo queen sent you to sabotage me?!  I challenge you to a duel!  Pokie Balls, go!  I choose you, Funkachu!  Deadly disco boogie attack!  Get down with your bad self and make some nachos!

KidK's Dad (bewildered):  Um, OK, sorry…

HNB:  I see you run in fear, bearded monkey-man!  But you shall not escape the wrath of my toe jam!  God that's a great belt!  I bow before its buckle of shininess and say cheese!  Take my picture, gramma!

KidK's Dad:  Excuse me?  'Monkey-man?'

HNBWhere?!  My greatest enemy, here?  Holy labor unions, Aquaman!  Now I must ready my frisbees of ultimate triumph!  The bears will not pilfer my pic-a-nic basket this time, Ranger!  (he runs off in a frenzy, leaving a very confused KidK's Dad behind)

KidK's Dad (returning to his family):  I think there's something wrong with that guy.  Let's just look around, OK?

They wander around and finally local the video game section, which has indeed been toned down quite a bit.  Now they begin searching for the correct game.

KidK's Mom:  Would they be in alphabetical order?

Mike-the-Brother:  Doesn't look like it.

KidK's Dad:  You'd think they could get their act together and display these things properly.  I mean, they're popular, so why make it hard for people to find what they want?

Mike-the-Brother:  Mmm-hmm…just keep looking, Dad.

Just then, Mike is pushed out of the way of a display by a pretty, purple-haired girl wearing a skull necklace.

Gaz (annoyed): Can you please move?  Some people here know what they want.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I know what I want too!  I just can't find it!  Now you move!  (he pushes her back)

Gaz (menacingly):  Touch me again, and you lose fingers. 

Mike-the-Brother:  What are you talking about, little girl?  You're probably here to buy Barbie's Dress Up!

KidK's Mom:  Now, Mike, don't fight…

Gaz (taunting):  That's right, do as your mommy says.

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh, that's it!  I'll show you that I can play!  Let's have a contest right now!

Gaz:  Sorry, I don't have time to beat you now.  I have to go pay for this.  (she holds up her chosen game, 'War of Blood and Guts 11')

Mike-the-Brother:  Oh sure, you talk tough, but you won't even accept a challenge.  I'll bet you're afraid you'd lose!

Gaz (well, now he's done it--she's mad):  Me?  Lose to you?  Not on your life!

Mike-the-Brother:  Then let's go.  (he pulls out his Game-Boy)

Gaz:  Ha!  You don't even have a Game-Boy Advance yet?  Oh, this is going to be easy.

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, I don't rely on upgraded systems to make me a good gamer.  I have skills!

Gaz:  Skills at losing!  I'll make this quick and painless.  A single battle.  The game--Fists of Death.  Whoever loses buys the other person's game.

Mike-the-Brother:  You're on!

They link their games together and the fight begins.  The two onscreen warriors throw punch after punch, kick after kick, neither giving any ground.  Finally, Mike's fighter knocks Gaz's to the ground.

Mike-the-Brother:  Ready to give up yet?  (his character begins kicking Gaz's in the face repeatedly)

Gaz (smiling evilly):  Why would I give up when I'm about to win?

Suddenly, Gaz's warrior vaults up from his prone position and launches a furious barrage of attacks that soon knocks Mike's fighter out cold.

Mike-the-Brother (astonished):  How…how did you do that?

Gaz:  It's my secret technique.  It's called lulling the opponent into a false sense of security.  But you did pretty good, considering.  And especially since you only have a Game-Boy Color.

Mike-the-Brother:  So how much do I owe you?

Gaz:  Thirty bucks.

Dib (walking up):  Are you done yet, Gaz?

Gaz:  As soon as I collect my winnings, we can go.

Dib:  Oh, another victim?

Gaz:  Yeah.  At least this one put up a decent fight.  He's the first non-computer player I've ever had to use my best moves on.

Mike-the-Brother:  And you're the first non-computer player who's ever beaten me.

Dib:  You guys aren't going to…you know…declare yourselves soul mates or anything, are you?  'Cause I need to get home and start working on that Bigfoot trap.  He's bound need that belt sander again one of these days…

Mike-the-Brother:  Hey, someday I want a rematch!

Gaz:  Why not?

Mike-the-Brother:  What was your name again?

Gaz:  It's Gaz. 

Mike-the-Brother:  I'm Mike.  And next time we meet, I'll be victorious!

Gaz:  In your dreams, pal.  Come on, Dib, what're you standing around for?  Let's go, already!

They exit, leaving Mike alone with his parents once more.

KidK's Dad:  Who was that?  One of your little skool chums?

Mike-the-Brother:  Nah, I've never seen her before in my life.  But I have the feeling I'll be seeing her again soon.  Weird.

KidK's Dad:  Well, I asked the worker guy over there if there was a new Dragon Warrior game coming out, and he said not for a month.  So if that's all you wanted, we can go home now.

Mike-the-Brother:  Man, am I gonna give my sister a piece of my mind when I get home…

And that's the story of how Mike's rivalry with Gaz began.  Heartwarming, no?  And so, our fake-game-searching trio goes back out to their car and drives home.  However, back at the Best Buy…

Employee Gerald:  Hey, mister, you're not supposed to take the disks out of the boxes!  You'll get them all mixed up!

HNB:  You dare attempt to purloin my treasure?!  Why, you must be the one the Ewoks spoke of!  The apricot preserves warned me of your coming!  Have at you, filthy swine!  Moon Tiara Magic! 

With that, he begins flinging CD-ROMs at the hapless Gerald.  Eventually, some security guards come and pacify with Happy Noodle Boy by shooting him in the head.  Repeatedly.

The End!

Of This Story, Anyway