Title:Tomorrow...
Author:Lady Phoenix
Disclaimer:Bastard!! is copyright of Kazushi Hagiwara, as are Kall Su and Dark Schneider.

On this Hallow's Eve of the 2400th year of the Lord, there is a storm brewing. I can smell the dampness of the concrete as it slowly makes its way to the balcony of this castle, a castle I took only this morning, one of many I will have acquired by the end of this war. For what must be the thousandth time this hour, I ask myself why I fight this endless battle? Why do I kill? Why do I hurt? The answer seemed so clear in the beginning, but now, now I'm not too sure. Can it be that I really doubt my own actions?

I can see the lightning clash in the distance, just over the horizon. The wind is starting to pick up, a sure sign that the storm shall soon be here. And as I hear the wind howl, I feel a chill run up my spine. A sudden gust of the wind conjures up the image of the nine gates of Hell opening up and engulfing me. How easy it would be to let go and give in to let the flames of the after life take me in! After all, it will eventually happen, for I have sinned time and time again, and never have I felt remorse. However, now it's different. Tomorrow I will go and do the unthinkable. So why fight my Lord Lucifer? If I haven't earned my one-way ticket to his kingdom yet, I shall earn it tomorrow, one way or another. If I do not go to war tomorrow and disobey Anthrax, I shall find my death. If I go to battle tomorrow, I shall find myself wanting to be dead. Mother Nature seems to understand my inner turmoil perfectly, for her cries reflect the battle being waged within my heart.

I can hear the raging waves brushing up onto the shore, as if they were trying to grasp something, anything, to keep them from disappearing into the infinity that is the ocean. Are my soldiers like that at the moment of their death? Grasping for something, trying to find a beacon of light amidst the darkness that is death? All this while they are drowning in a sea of red, with a coppery taste in their mouth, realizing that never again shall they bathe in the pale glow of the moon, never again shall they squint because of the harsh glare of the sun, never again shall they smell the sweet perfume of a single, long stemmed rose. What right do I have to take this all away from them by sending them into battle?

This is all your fault. If it were not for you, I would go forth tomorrow and wage war without an afterthought. But no, you won't let me. Because of you I doubt this course of action. Why do you torment me so? My soul is restless, like the tree branches in the wind. You haunt my dreams, coming and going like a thief in the night, and you somehow manage to do the impossible: you melt my frozen heart. So it is because of you that I suffer so; I wish I could make you feel the pain I feel, the pain of a thousand prying nails tearing at my soul. I want to make you suffer as you've made me suffer. And so it is decided, tomorrow I go to battle. Tomorrow we fight, and you, you who were once my teacher, my apprentice, my brother, my father, my friend and my lover, you won't even know that you are the cause of my distress. Tomorrow I shall end it, for before dusk, we shall both ascend to the after-life, and then we shall see…

Tomorrow, Dark Schneider, tomorrow…


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