NOTE: This is a parody based on the Fushigi Yuugi "Ladies Hot Springs Chapter: The Forbidden Bus Trip." That's the one where they're all in buses, etc. (by the way, that's my favorite episode(s)). I use the American names, and I took liberties on developing some of the lesser characters. Just in case it's not obvious, Rowan is my favorite. At the time when I was writing this, I did not know warriors said something different to activate their armors. (It all sounded the same to me!) I left them the same, anyway. Hope you like it!
***All characters (both Ronin Warriors and Fushigi Yuugi) are not my original creations***
The four dark warlords and their master stood on the side of the road, at the corner of first and twenty third, waiting for their ride.
"Are you sure it's coming? Dais asked.
Cale pulled out an elaborately made invitation. "It say's right here," he said, pointing to a spot on the note, "meet at the corner of first and twenty-third street at 10:00 A.M. Wait for a bus to transport you."
"Oooh, I hope it's one of those charter buses with the nice plush seats," said Dais, who had a knack for sometimes sounding too feminine.
"Transport us where?" Sekhmet asked.
"To the Mt. Fuji Hot Springs Resort," Cale read from the invitation.
"Oooh, a resort," said Dais; "I've always wanted to go to one of those."
"Do you think the Ronin Warriors got an invitation too?" Anubis asked as he crossed his fingers for good luck (out of eyesight, of course.)
Cale looked up at the invite. "Probably. They always get in the way."
"Goody!" Anubis shouted. Maybe Ryo would let him sit next to him at dinner...
Anubis's thoughts were interrupted as he realized everyone was staring at him. Tulpa's eyes glowed red.
Anubis cleared his throat. "I mean...good. Then we'll be able to finally finish those Ronin rodents."
Tulpa's eyes flashed red. "We must destroy the Ronin Warriors. I need their armors."
"But Master Tulpa, the Ronin Warriors aren't that bad..." Anubis began, forgetting that he was supposed to be pro-evil.
"Anubis, I feel you need a dark energy boost. Netherspirit! Come forth and give Anubis more dark energy!"
A Netherspirit manifested himself and threw Anubis a canned drink. Anubis looked at the label, which read "Dark Energy Boost: Raise Your Negative Powers By 100! Vanilla flavor." Anubis popped the top and swallowed the whole thing in one gulp. Then he grinned a very evil grin.
"Now I feel like I could kill a thousand Ronin Warriors!" he yelled in mock battle cry.
"Uh...there are only five warriors..." Cale corrected.
"I know that! Shut up!" Anubis yelled, turning red.
At that moment, an old rundown bus puttered up to the corner and stopped. The doors opened. The driver peered at them.
"Y'all gettin' in?" the bus driver asked in a very southern accent.
"Y'all?!" Sekhmet exclaimed, clearly disgusted. "Where do you think we're from, the backwoods?"
"Y'all gettin' in or not?"
Cale looked at the beautifully scripted invitation, then at the decrepit bus. "No, we're waiting for another bus."
The bus driver nodded. "This 'ere bus is the one y'all be wantin', boys."
"Excuse me?" Dais asked, having trouble understanding the driver's thick drawl.
"I was told that tuday at 10:00, five men in armer would be at this 'ere stop. Well, 'ere it be 10:00 and y'all got armer on an' all..."
"Who told you this?!" Sekhmet demanded.
"Hey," the bus driver said, ignoring Sekhmet completely. He looked suspiciously at Dais and his armor. "I didn't know yer armer would be all spread out like that. Y'all won't be able to fit through that there door. Looks like we'll be usin' the wheelchair access to get y'all in."
"I don't want to get on there!" Dais cried. "That man scares me!"
"Get on!" Tulpa roared, his eyes flashing blood red. He shocked the four warlords with dark electrical energy. "We'll take over the bus."
Twenty Minutes Later:
"Just make yerselfs comfortable," the bus driver said, smiling. "My bus is yer bus."
The five looked at each other and grinned evily. Then they all sat down, each one taking up at least two seats.
Anubis and Cale found themselves situated opposite an old woman who was hard of hearing and was suffering from vision loss. She smiled sweetly at them.
"Why hello there, boys. Where are you all going on this fine day?"
Anubis made his scariest face. "We are going to kill the Ronin Warriors!"
"You're going to a costume party?" the old woman said. "How wonderful! and who are you supposed to be?"
Anubis stood and proudly announced his position. "I am Anubis, Dark Warlord of Cruelty!"
"A clown? How original? I remember when I was little there was a clown at a party I went to..."
Anubis collapsed from shock. That woman didn't care that he was a dark warlord. Cale grinned. His turn.
"I am Cale, Dark Warlord of Corruption! I will--"
"A bunny rabbit?" The old woman patted Cale on the leg. "You're adorable. I remember when I was little I had a bunny rabbit and..."
"Help us, Tulpa!" Cale and Anubis cried as they were forced to listen to the old woman reminiscing.
"Now we take over," Tulpa said, after deciding that he had also had enough of the woman's blabbering.
"Netherspirits!" he cried. "Come and fill this bus with dark energy!"
The bus picked up speed. Pedestrians and other vehicles were forced off the road and sidewalks as the bus careened down the road at breakneck speeds. Screams were heard. Bands of strange light radiated from the windows.
"Demon soldiers!" Sekhmet ordered after the Evil Dynasty had taken over the bus, "track down the Ronin Warriors!"
Well? What do you think? Good? Bad? I would really appreciate it if you reviewed my work. I wrote this a couple of years ago, found it recently, and thought I'd post it. Don't worry (or worry if you fear my twisted humor...), there's more to come.
