Authors' Note:
Both of the Crack Monkeys who wrote this fan fiction feel bad for Crowley. :(
DoomMonkey forgot about their objective halfway through this and wanted them to get slashed because she is a fan girl through and through. :)
ChocoMonkey forbade it and threatened to cut off DoomMonkey's chocolate supply. :(
DoomMonkey thinks ChocoMonkey is just upset because things like this happen to her in real life. :)
ChocoMonkey doesn't want to write anymore for the story yet. :(
DoomMonkey does. :)
But they haven't yet. :(
However, both Crack Monkeys could be coerced into writing a sequel or DoomMonkey will simply force Monkey de Sade to write it with her. :)
However, DoomMonkey desperately wants reviews. :)
We leave the fate of Crowley in your hands. :(
And basically this Authors' Note is what happens when DoomMonkey is left to her own devices. :)
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Aziraphale securely the door to his apartment and began downing the ice cream like starving man who hadn't seen food for a year.
After a few moments, he heard a knock on his door.
"Yes?" he said in between scarfing down spoonfuls of sinfully good Eddy's Chocolate Truffle Explosion.
He sighed and went to the door to see who it was.
It was Crowley.
He sighed again and reluctantly unlocked the door.
"Enjoying yourself, angel," he said sardonically.
"Yup," Aziraphale said eating more ice cream although he realized sadly that he was reaching the end of the pint.
"Car," said Crowley.
"Are we going to play a word game?" Aziraphale said attempting innocent, cute confusion.
"Car. Clean. Now," retorted Crowley pointing downstairs.
"But....but..ice cream," Aziraphale scraping at the near-empty carton.
Crowley snatched the empty carton from the angel and threw it out the door.
"Car. Now."
"You littered again" Aziraphale said horrified leaving the apartment to go get the carton.
Crowley locked the door behind him and shook his head before making his way downstairs. Too bad Aziraphale didn't notice he was now locked out of his apartment.
Aziraphale began cleaning outside the car after throwing the pint away. He unhappily tossed tape after tape out onto the sidewalk muttering darkly under his breath.
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After a few hours and near explosions of curse words from the angel, the interior of the car was spotless.
"There," Aziraphae said brightly. "Finished."
"Thank you, angel," Crowley said.
"I think I'll go have a cup of tea," Aziraphale said heading up to his apartment.
Crowley smirked as he watched him head upstairs.
Aziraphale tugged at the door. Uh-oh....had he locked himself out? Not again. He sighed dejectedly.
"Um...it seems I've locked myself out," he said with a rather embarrassed shrug.
"Would you like to stay with me, angel?"
Aziraphale mulled this over. On one hand, it was a very bad idea. On the other hand, it was a bad idea but he'd get ice cream that way. And on the other hand that he lacked, Crowley was a demon. He could pick the lock.
"Say, couldn't you pick the lock?" he asked although reluctantly fearing he would his chance at procurring more ice cream.
"Do you really want me to?" asked Crowley. "I mean, those locks are really hard to pick. And serious damage to them."
"Ummm...do you have any ice cream at your place?" Aziraphale asked. He realized suddenly he had never been to Crowley's place. "Do you have a place?"
"But of course," the demon answered.
"Hmmm....I guess...although I won't have any change of clothes or anything. Maybe I have a spare key around here somewhere."
He rummaged in his pockets and found nothing.
"Are you sure you don't mind?" he asked the demon politely. He supposed there was no harm in it seeing as they were...well, associates.
"Oh no problem at all," Crowley replied.
"I can't believe I locked myself...wait a minute. You were the last one out."
Crowley did his best to look innocent and failed admirably.
"Crowley! That was not very nice."
Crowly attempted to look innocent. He was able to make it more realistic. After all, he had been an angel once.
"So did you?" Aziraphale asked in confusion.
"Did I what?" Crowley asked.
"Umm...lock me out."
"Now why would I do something like that?" asked Crowley.
"That's true. You really gain much by locking me out of my house. And you are beig nice and letting me stay at yours. Are you up to something?"
Crowley looked wounded. "Moi?" he asked innocently.
"I guess not," Aziraphale said shrugging.
"Let's go," Crowley said opening the door to his clean Bentley and gesturing for Aziraphale to get in.
"You better not do anything funny," Aziraphale said climbing in. At least he'd get ice cream out of this.
Crowley got in grinning at Aziraphale. "I won't make you laugh once, I promise."
"Ha, ha," Aziraphale said with a sigh.
"So don't come along," said Crowley.
"No. That's okay. I need somewhere to stay."
"Call a locksmith," Crowley suggested.
"That's okay. I'll call them tomorrow. I'd like to stay with you anyway," the angel said happily thinking about having more ice cream.
"See how the other half lives, eh?" Crowley said raising an eyebrow.
"Something like that," Aziraphale said cheerfully.
Crowley grinned and started the car and headed off to his place.
"I can't wait until we get to your place," Aziraphale said with a smile.
"Oh really?" Crowley said raising an eyebrow again.
"Of course. I've always wanted to be invited to your house."
Crowley looked at Aziraphale strangely and kept driving.
"What?" Aziraphale asked afraid Crowley had caught on to his desire for more ice cream.
"Oh nothing. Nothing at all," Crowley said forcibly keeping his eyes on the road.
Aziraphale was afraid he'd hurt Crowley's feeling so he patted his hand and said, "It'll be nice to spend more time with you."
He didn't want Crowley to think he was only going for the ice cream after all.
"Are you feeling okay, angel?" Crowley asked.
"Never been better," Aziraphale said in a chipper tone of voice.
"All right then." Crowley shrugged pulling into the garage of his ultra-modern high rise.
So close to having more ice cream, Aziraphale thought almost giddy with anticipation.
The doorman dressed all in black bowed respectfully to Crowley and raised an eyebrow at Aziraphale.
"Oh it's all right. He's with me," Crowley said airily as they walked to the elevators.
"Just the night though," Aziraphale added over his shoulder attempting to clarify the situation.
Crowley kept walking
They got into the elevator and Crowley punched in the number "666"
"You live pretty high up," Aziraphale said noticing the number. "Seems a nice place so far."
"Closer to heaven," Crowley added sardonically.
Aziraphale smiled and thought about the ice cream.
Crowley unlocked the door marked "666" and walked inside.
Aziraphale followed him looking around anxiously. "You have to give me a tour of the place." Starting with a refrigerator he thought to himself.
Crowley gestured to the living room which was lavishly decorated with black furniture and curtains. There was also some chrome decorations as well.
"Very nice."
"This is the kitchen," Crowley said passing by the small nook that housed the oven, refrigerator, and stove.
Aziraphale quickly took a peek in the freezer but there was no ice cream. He sighed softly and followed Crowley into another room.
"And this, my darling angel, is the bedroom," he said grandly. The demon bowed gallantly with a smirk and gestured Aziraphale inside.
Aziraphale walked in wondering where the ice cream could be.
He saw a platform bed with a black bedspread and nightstand. Three walls were windows giving them an exquisite view of the London skyline.
"This is very nice too," Aziraphale said brightly still wondering where the ice cream could be. Though he imagined to ask....Crowley had been pulling pints out of his jacket pocket..hmmm..
Azirahale moved over to where Crowley was.
"Have I told you how much I like your jacket?"
"Thank you. I'm rather fond of it myself," the demon said grasping the angel's hands.
"Aren't you a bit warm in it though?" Aziraphale said attempting to sound nonchalant and wondering why Crowley was grasping his hands.
"You want me to take it off?" Crowley asked a bit surprised.
"If you don't mind," Aziraphale said politely.
"Oh no. Not at all," Crowley said. He took off the jacket and placed it on a chair.
Aziraphale started to slowly inch towards the chair, but Crowley was in his way. He moved closer to Crowley and tried to reach around on either side of the demon for the jacket.
Crowley was rather surprised by the angel's sudden intimacy but he returned the hug just the same.
Aziraphale blinked a bit confused. Why were they hugging? He just wanted ice cream.
Then he felt Crowley's tongue on his ear and he yelped.
"What are you doing?" Aziraphale asked nervously.
"Isn't this what you wanted?" Crowley whispered in a seductive hiss into his ear.
"Ummm.....not really," Aziraphale said.
Crowley pulled away and looked into Aziraphale's eyes. "But..you held my hand and you hugged me...you came over to apartment...."
While he was saying this, Aziraphale began rummaging through Crolwey's jacket.
"Hey! What are you doing?" Crowley asked extremely confused at this point. Hadn't the angel been flirting with him seconds ago?
Aziraphle moaned miserably when he found no ice cream at all in any of the jacket's pockets.
"What is it?" Crowley asked perplexedly.
"You don't have any ice cream," Aziraphale said in a sad soft voice.
"ICE CREAM?!?!?!?!" Crowley roared. "You wanted ice cream!?!?!?!"
Aziraphale meeped. "Yes?"
Crowley put his head in his hands and sank down onto the bed. "But...."
Aziraphale looked concerned. "Are you okay?"
"I thought you wanted me," Crowley moaned through clenched teeth.
"Uh-oh...ummm...oops?" Aziraphale managed patting Crowley's hand.
"Go. Sleep on the couch. Now."
"Okay," Aziraphale said feeling somewhat bad for the demon. "Are you mad at me?"
"No just go away," Crowley said his head still in his hands.
"Is there anything I can do?"
Crowley looked up. "Go! Now! I'll talk to you tomorrow."
"If you're sure then," Aziraphale said. He patted the demon on the shoulder before leaving.
Crowley slammed the door behind the departing angel and curled up on his bed and went to sleep.
"Damned ice cream," he said unhappily.
Aziraphale felt too guilty to go to sleep so he sat up all night instead desperately wished he had ice cream.
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The End? :)
