Author's Note: Thanks to bunnyb and Queen Greenleaf for reviewing chapter 4. Additional thanks to my sister, who proofreads my stories and who gave up her monopoly on the computer for a few minutes so I could write and post this.

Chapter 5: In the Hall of La Reina

The beautiful elf led the Fellowship through the murky forests of Briské. Everyone, including Gandalf, was silent for they were held at arrow-point by the fearsome kitty archers. Legolas, the brave and manly one of the Fellowship, was too busy trying to contain his laughter to talk. Finally, Frodo got up the courage to speak. "May a simple hobbit from the Shire beg the name of such a fair and beautiful elven sorceress as we are in the company of?"

"I am not a sorceress," replied the elf, "I am a warrior. As for my name, it is Mercedes."

So the Fellowship followed Mercedes through the woods to a great clearing where a shimmering palace stood before them. Then, they were led into the Great Hall of the Queen. She was a beautiful elf who was dressed in flowing gowns of the purest white. Her blonde hair fell to the floor and she held a scepter which glowed with the light of a star.

"Hola," spoke the Queen, "me llamo Catalina, y yo soy la Reina de Briské. Cómo se llaman Uds?"

"Oh no!" said Gandalf turning white, "she has pronounced our death! We are to be strung up by our ears on the tallest tree and left to be picked apart by the vultures! Horrible, horrible death!"

"Nooooo!" cried the Fellowship running around in circles and knocking each other over.

"Shut up, you puny English people!" said the queen, "you are great fools. I merely said I am Catalina, Queen of Briské. What are your names?"

"I am Legolas," said He of the cute ears, "and these are my companions: Aragorn son of Arathorn and heir of Isildur, Frodo the former Ringbearer, Samwise the ambiguous, Gandalf the Grey, and Gimli. . . just Gimli. We have come here upon the insistence of Gandalf."

"You are welcome all to my court," said Queen Catalina, "we are the Spanish- speaking elves of Briské. We were banished long ago from all other elven civilizations. But soon, very soon, we shall have our revenge!"

"Why were you banished?" asked Sam.

"Because of what we are" replied Catalina, "We are beautiful, intelligent women. People couldn't handle it. They could understand our being beautiful and even mystically wise, but scholarly? No. The other elves mocked us for studying. We have a thorough knowledge of all the sciences: chemistry, biology, physics. We can do Calculus. We write insightful, thought-provoking essays and study the works of great authors. We have been shunned from civilization for our intellectual prowess, but no more. With my army of kitties, we shall conquer Middle-Earth and spread a great shadow over the land, enslaving all who are intellectually defunct."

"You have shiny hair" said Aragorn.

"Why don't you just use your intellectual superiority to mentally dominate people? It's worked for me" said Legolas.

"Silence, puny mortal!" screamed Catalina.

"Hey, I'm an elf too" said Legolas.

"Perhaps you are," said Catalina, "and perhaps you have a point. I will make a deal with you. Find me an extremely handsome man, who is mentally deficient, and King of a great realm. I will make him my love slave and rule his kingdom. Also, you must bring us a passion fruit as a wedding gift."

"Why?" asked Legolas.

"I like passion fruit."

"You want a good looking King," began Gandalf, "who has a huge kingdom, and who is really stupid, and who must be willing to marry an elf? Where in the world will we ever find a guy like that? The world is doomed, doomed I say!"

"Wait a minute," said Aragorn, "let me get this straight. You girls are beautiful AND smart? I don't understand."

"Listen, oh fair queen," said Legolas, tastefully ignoring Aragorn's last remark, "I don't think the idiot king will be a problem, but what in the world is a passion fruit?"

"I am sending Mercedes along with you, as well as the Captain of my kitty archers," said Catalina, "now go! You have one month or your world is doomed!"

To Be Continued.

Who is the idiot king Legolas speaks of? Will the Fellowship be able to find a passion fruit? What is a passion fruit? Is anybody still reading this? If you are, tell me what you think should happen. I probably won't listen to you, but hey, I'll have gotten you to review. Mwahahaha! Come on, it takes 2 seconds. Please! You don't have to say anything of value whatsoever.