Chapter 11 - Sins
It's been a month since the battle in Ueno Park, and Ohgami-san still hasn't awakened from his "coma." The doctors say that it wasn't a physical sort of coma. It was like Ohgami-san didn't want to wake up at all.
I've visited several times with minna-san and we always get a cold reception. He was just propped up on the bed's headstand, just staring into the wall. We've tried everything, from flowers, food to short plays but nothing seems to snap him out of his reverie. He didn't move a single inch when we visited. But once I saw him staring at the wall with a single tear down his cheek.
The doctors told me that he was heard screaming in the night. It was a miserable scream, they say, like someone being brought to death row. They would always find him struggling in bed, trying to get away but he would always be sedated. The next morning, he would resume his usual routine: staring at the wall.
I've talked to him several times, but he just wouldn't wake up. I've asked the others and they've all tried too, but all they got was an empty stare. Iris even told me that she attempted to read his mind but she got nothing.
Oka-san, Oba-san, I hope that when you read this, you'll send me a reply right away. With all my heart I care for Ohgami-san, and I simply can't bear to watch him suffer like this. If there's some kind of medicine that you know, some kind of technique that I can use, then please let me know about it. I want to bring him back to the old Ohgami-san that I used to know, the same person that brought me to Sendai long ago to help me out. He has some problems, and I want to help him solve those to the best that I can.
Arigato Gozaimas.
Teikoku Kagekidan
Hanagumi
Sakura Shinguji
That morning, she slipped the letter through the mailbox, hearing it land with the other hundreds of mail.
Sakura briskly walked back to the entrance of the ruined Teigeki. The playhouse badly needed repairs, and despite the many carpenters working on it, it might take a long time before it could be used again. Walls were destroyed, rooms were burned, and they needed to be replaced. She wasn't even sure if the Teigeki would ever get repaired. Government funding could only last for so long, and it had to be divided among the other casualties and destruction.
Last month's recent battles with the possessed Ohgami had ruined millions worth of property in the Imperial Capital. Buildings had collapsed, roads were split apart, and trees were burned. Today, there were only a scarce number of cherry blossom trees in Ueno Park, and no doubt it would take a long time before it could be restored to its former glory.
She sighed as she entered the building, entering the cafeteria. She hadn't had breakfast yet.
The cafeteria still retained its usual splendor, but it still had some cracks on the walls and some windows needed replacing. The tables and chairs were still intact, though, and the kitchen was still functional.
On her way to the kitchen, she saw Iris, alone, eating slowly with Jean-Paul. She seemed sad. Sakura decided to talk to her after she had gotten her meal.
She opened the door, and saw Kanna cooking. She was oddly unenthusiastic about it. Sakura had gotten used to Kanna's boisterous laughing and cheerful attitude when cooking.
"Kanna-san?" Sakura called.
She glumly returned her call with a wave of a hand and replied, "Hey."
"Do you need help? Maria-san isn't here to help you cook."
She shook her head. "No thanks. Maria, Ayame-san, and Shihainin went to a meeting to assess the battle damage. Sumire went home yesterday. Kohran went to Hanayashiki to deal with the Kobu repairs, but she said she'd be back this noon. Kasumi and the others are supervising the repairs."
"Oh," Sakura replied, then saw a fresh plate of food on the table.
"That's yours," Kanna said, tasting what she cooked, "Go on and eat ahead with Iris. I'll catch up soon."
Sakura went up to her and saw her glum expression on her face as she chopped some carrots. "Kanna-san, are you okay?"
She just shook her head. "How can I be okay? After all that's happened, even when a month has already passed, I'm still shaken up by what happened."
Sakura just nodded. "You're right. Many buildings were destroyed and there were many casualties as well. What's more, Ohgami-san still hasn't snapped out of his trance."
Kanna's eyes never left the stove. "I wonder what's he's thinkin' about?"
"I don't know."
She hated answering that. As much as possible, she wanted to know what was going on in Ohgami's head, but so far, she hadn't a single clue.
"Well, he'll wake up, eventually," Kanna said. She lifted the ladle to her lips, sipped some of the curry she was making, and said, "Mmm! Oishi!"
Sakura smiled then picked up her tray, afterwards heading off to sit beside Iris. She had stopped eating, despite that there were still plenty of food on her. She was levitating the chopsticks.
"Iris, don't play with your food," Sakura said, snapping her chopsticks apart.
"Iris is not playing. You don't eat chopsticks."
"Iris…"
The French girl placed them on the table and sighed, looking at the sushi that she didn't eat. "Iris is not hungry."
"Eh? Why?"
She sighed once more. "Iris doesn't know. Iris guesses the room isn't the same."
Sakura lifted her eyes from Iris then took a gander at the cafeteria. There were some cracks on the ceiling and on the walls. Some of the windows had cracks, and the curtains were either torn or falling off the hooks.
"Well, it may not look as grand as it was before, but at least the tables are still here, and the kitchen's still working," Sakura replied.
"Iris didn't mean it that way."
Sighing, Sakura patted her head softly. "I know. It just isn't the same without everybody eating with us."
"Iris wonders if Onii-chan will be okay?"
"Daijobu! Ohgami-san is strong. He'll be okay," Sakura replied, putting as much cheer in her voice as she could.
"Demo, what if Onii-chan doesn't want to wake up?" Iris said.
Sakura was a bit surprised. It took a moment for her to reply, "What makes you think that?"
"What he said to us…Iris thinks that he's really so sorry for what he did. Onii-chan probably wants to take responsibility for everything. He's going to take the big burden on his shoulders."
Sakura sighed once more. "He probably would."
Then Sakura faced Iris and added, "But he won't leave us. He wanted to protect us and he won't be able to do that by just lying down there."
"Demo, what if Onii-chan thinks that the best way to protect us is to leave us?"
Sakura gasped. She never thought of it that way. But, knowing Ohgami's own personality, he just might do it.
But Sakura just held Iris' hand and said, "Don't think like that. Ohgami-san will never leave us."
"Iris hopes so, Sakura."
"Ohgami-kun?"
He wasn't lying on the bed. The nodes and syringes were on the sheets. Some had some blood on them.
Ohgami was there, looking out the window, at the afternoon of the Imperial Capital. His shoulders were slumped, and his hand was barely clinging on to the curtain.
Yoneda casually placed the huge bottle of saké that he had brought with him on the table. He placed along with the bottle two small ceramic cups, one of them having a ring of blue paint near the rim.
"I'm glad that you're awake, Ohgami-kun," The old commander said.
He made no reply. He continued looking out the window.
"You know, the girls will be happy once they know that you've finally awoken," Yoneda added with a slight happy tone in his gruff voice.
"I'm sorry…" Ohgami murmured. It was so soft, what he said was barely audible.
"Eh?"
"I'm sorry, commander…," Ohgami said, a little louder than before.
Yoneda raised a brow. "What for?"
He continued to look out the window. "For everything."
Yoneda did not reply. He simply poured himself a cup of saké.
Ohgami turned around, surprised to see his commander doing nothing but getting himself drunk again. "Sir? Aren't you going to berate me for what I've done?"
He lifted one eye from his cup, the one without the blue ring. "Do you want me to?"
He was a bit baffled. "Sir?"
Yoneda tossed him the cup with the blue ring, which Ohgami deftly caught with one hand. "Do you remember when I gave this to you, Ohgami-kun?"
"I still do. It was when you tried to fight Yamazaki with the Majinki."
Yoneda smiled for a moment as he took another sip. "That was my favorite cup, y'know. So when I decided that it was time to face Yamazaki, I knew that my cup would be safe in your hands."
"Sir?"
"I trust you, Ohgami-kun. I know you'll do a good job in taking care of the girls, and in leading them into battle."
Ohgami placed the cup on the table by the bed, a sullen look on his face. "I've betrayed that trust, sir. In more times than I can remember."
Reaching for the cup, Yoneda sipped a little more. "I think you're exaggerating, Ohgami-kun."
That struck a chord, as Ohgami's temper flared up and slammed his fists on the bed. "EXAGGERATING!? I've ruined a considerable part of the Imperial Capital, taken plenty of lives, and almost killed the Hanagumi! And you call that exaggerating!"
Yoneda calmly placed the cup back on the table then poured it full again, and before drinking it, he looked at Ohgami with piercing eyes. Ohgami almost shuddered.
"I'm calling it an exaggeration because it wasn't your fault. It never was."
Ohgami replied, "But sir! If I hadn't allowed Tenkai to enter my body, then none of this would have happened."
"He played with your feelings, and took advantage of your weak points. He attacked when you were vulnerable."
He punched the bed even harder. "That's what I'm trying to say, sir! I was weak and vulnerable, and because of that, he was allowed to possess me and destroy the Capital. If only I were stronger, If only I had a little more power, then…"
Ohgami suddenly stopped speaking. His mouth was open, and his eyes were wide. His face was a mix of horror and at the same time, realization.
Yoneda smiled, putting the cup to his lips. The boy was learning. "Don't you realize that even now, you are clinging on to that hope, which brought you your own personal destruction?"
He put the cup down. "Talk to me, Ohgami-kun. Why the sudden desire for power? You were doing very well before as Taichou of the Hanagumi. What happened?"
Beat, he sat down on the side of the bed, facing the window, his back facing Yoneda. He spoke with a tired, defeated voice, "The Haja No Jin."
"What about it?"
"You told me to create a formation which can draw each member's spiritual energy and raise it to a certain maximum. You asked me to unite them to generate a more powerful force."
"And you succeeded in doing so, Ohgami-kun," Yoneda replied, "The Haja No Jin was an effective weapon against the Wakiji, Kouma, and the Kulonos-Kai."
He nodded. "But I didn't realize that in order to maintain the flow of energy, each member must have at least a permissible amount of spiritual power. Having a weak amount of energy would only break the flow."
Yoneda took another sip of saké.
"So, I agreed to leave the formation, seeing to it that the Hanagumi would utilize the formation to have the best results. I had a weak amount of energy, meaning that I would only, as I said earlier, break the flow."
Yoneda was getting sleepy, all of a sudden. It was either the saké or Ohgami's lecture about the Haja No Jin.
"But I didn't realize something until it was already too late."
The old commander's eyes turned to him, interest and concern piqued.
"I would be sending the girls into the battlefield, where their skills are put on the test and their lives on the line, while I would be left behind to just watch."
His voice was pained, and something started to well up in the Taichou's throat. But he forced himself to continue.
"It was different than before. I was an active part of the fighting, and at least, I can see and feel the battle up close, not through some monitor or screen. Also, I have a clear idea on how the girls are doing, on how they're keeping up, because I'm there with them."
Yoneda replied, "But you weren't, because you lacked the energy needed to sustain the Haja No Jin."
Ohgami sadly nodded. "I swore to myself that in leading the Hanagumi, I'd fight with them until the bitter end. I'd go with them to any battlefield and fight any battle. But, I guess my own creation kept me from fulfilling my vow.
"My contempt sort of climaxed during the first battle with Tenkai, y'know, when he was still cloaked. I was being flung away by Tenkai, because he said that I wasn't worthy of a battle."
He clenched his fists, his nails nearly burying themselves into the flesh. "So, I helplessly watched as the bastard mercilessly fought and won against the Hanagumi. I felt so…so…miserable. I wanted to kill him, flay him apart, tear his eyes out with my bare hands. But I couldn't. I couldn't even get near him."
His body relaxed and his fists unclenched, his nails leaving reddened marks on his palms. Ohgami slowly turned to the commander, who had a grave expression on his face. The Taichou said, "I guess, after what I've told you, you can infer what will happen next."
Yoneda nodded slowly. Ohgami sighed ruefully, feeling his guilt worsen. He said, "I'm not worthy to be the Hanagumi's Taichou anymore. Do what you must. I know that I deserve it."
A few silent moments passed, and no words were exchanged. Outside, the sun was setting, and night was only a few hours away. Yoneda was slowly drinking his saké, while Ohgami put himself to bed, though he still sat upright. With sheets pulled up to his waist, he looked at Yoneda and asked, "Aren't you going to say anything?"
Yoneda made no reply. He simply replaced the cap on his saké.
"Sir?"
He returned the cup to his coat pocket, and picked up the one with the blue ring.
"Here you go, Ohgami-kun," Yoneda said, handing him the blue ringed cup. Ohgami, who was surprised, took it.
"Sir?"
"Ohgami-kun, what you've just told me only reinforces my trust in you."
He gasped, relieved and puzzled at the same time. "What do you mean?"
"You genuinely care for the girls, and you took responsibility of all your actions. You acted out of mere concern."
But he looked at Ohgami with stern eyes, which made Ohgami move a few inches backward. "But remember, Ohgami-kun, that we chose you not only because you have enough spiritual energy to control the Kobu, but also because you can do something else."
Ohgami blinked. "What?"
"You can unite the Hanagumi's powers and totally release them. You can combine their hearts to create a more powerful force. You have that kind of power, which no one has, Ohgami-kun. And for me, that makes you very powerful.
"Don't think that you weren't there in all the battles they've faced, because you always were, in their hearts. You give them the power to continue on in the battle, because you can lead them. They know that you're always there to give them support. You always have a connection with them, no matter how far you are from the battle. You were never there physically, but you were there, regardless."
The old man smiled at him. "Think about it, Ohgami-kun. You're more powerful than you ever imagined."
He stood up and left the room, waving his hand and saying, "Meet you back in the Teigeki," as he left.
Night had already come, and Ohgami sat there in his room alone, contemplating all what was said. He meditated calmly, and for the first time in a long time, he smiled. Taking the cup in his hands, he muttered, "Arigato, shihainin. I know what to do now."
A few days later, Ohgami found himself at the front of the Teigeki. He had walked all the way from the hospital, strangely because he felt his strength returning after his talk with the commander. But he never expected a rainstorm, so he ran as fast he could to the playhouse, bringing with him a small suitcase.
But he didn't enter right away. He was at the middle of the stairs that led to the playhouse's entrance. Despite the powerful rain, he just stood there, staring at the entrance with a sullen look on his face.
He wanted to go inside, kicking the doors open and throwing himself in, feeling the familiar warmth and comfort of the Teigeki. He wanted to go back to the dining area and eat the delicious food that he always ate. He wanted to go back to the virtual training area and improve his Kobu piloting.
But most of all, he wanted to be with the girls again, to be with his family. He terribly missed Kanna's loud boisterousness and Maria's calm reassurance. He missed Kohran's bubbly perkiness and Sumire's proud confidence. He missed Iris' sisterly care and Sakura's true concern.
All it took now was to climb this stairway to his heaven.
But heaven always had prerequisites before one could enter, and Ohgami couldn't help but think of the past days. He allowed many atrocities to happen. People had died, buildings were destroyed, and most of all, he almost killed the Hanagumi just because of his own weaknesses.
Those were cold, dark days, and because of him, Tenkai was allowed to roam free. Where he went was unknown, and Tenkai left him a curse that would gradually eat his soul. Even now, he could feel it biting.
Because of his own disadvantages, Tenkai could very well mean the end of the world.
He didn't know how to apologize. He didn't even know if he had the right to.
So, as he looked at the stairway to heaven, it seemed so high and long. It suddenly became threatening, as if when Ohgami could climb the next few steps, the stairs would break away. His actions could condemn him to hell.
Should he run away, or should he try to climb? Did he deserve heaven or hell? Did he have the right to climb those stairs?
He was confused, his emotions jumbled into disarray. He didn't know what to think. The rain that fell didn't seem so cold anymore, compared to the growing chill in his heart.
Did he have the right to climb the stairway to heaven? He wasn't sure, and he didn't know where to get the answers.
So, the doors opened for him.
"Ohgami-san?"
He was in the middle of the pouring rain. His face was down, and his hands were at the sides, clenched tightly. One hand was holding a small suitcase.
Sakura was at the open doorway. She had an umbrella with her. She was going out to buy something but she certainly didn't expect this.
He didn't see her open the door, and he didn't hear her voice.
Her heartbeats were going fast, and she couldn't resist curling her lips into a smile. She already dropped the umbrella.
She had no other words to say. But in her heart, she didn't need them. Down the stairs, he wasn't the person who almost destroyed the Imperial Capital. He wasn't the person who almost killed them. He wasn't Tenkai.
In her own tear-filled eyes, he was Ohgami-san, alive, well, and back home.
Never mind the rain. Never mind what could happen next.
She just dashed into the torrent, disregarding the rain, and with a joyful call of his name, jumped at him, arms wide open.
Ohgami was more than surprised, as his head abruptly went back up at the call of his name and saw a girl in a pink kimono, drenched in rain, coming for him.
He barely caught her, making him go a few steps down. Her feet went back to the ground, and the force of her jump gradually subsided.
He was without words, as he saw her near him. She had her arms around his waist, clinging to his back. Her face was buried in his chest, sobbing quietly.
He was confused; his hands and arms barely touching her. What did this mean? Why did Sakura do this?
Then, he saw her face lift up and look into his eyes, an expression of true happiness on her tear-streaked face.
Ohgami gasped. Her face said it all.
He couldn't help smiling too, and tears welled up in his eyes. They both looked into each other eyes; both filled with joy and bliss. He embraced her hard and tight, and Sakura returned it. He laid his face on her shoulder, while she put hers on his chest.
Ohgami smiled long, his face content. He had found his answer. He didn't need any words to know what he was looking for. It was already here.
Heaven had welcomed him back with open arms.
