"I'm hungry!" Merry and Pippin wailed.

"You're always hungry!" Gimli barked at them.

"If you can catch something, then be my guest." Aragorn told them. "But for now I think we should set up camp."

"What are you eating?" Boromir asked in the early hour of 10 a.m. as he watched Pippin and Merry roasting and eating wild boars.

"Wild boars sir!" Merry exclaimed.

In the capacity of a few seconds everyone was awake and sitting around the fire and eating boar.

"How did you catch it?" Gimli asked ripping into the roasted boar's hind leg.

"It was all Pippin's idea sir." Merry said joyfully.

"How did you do it my boy?" Gandalf asked.

"I thought of BraveHeart sir. I got the idea from him." Pippin said in his Scottish accent.

"Yes, go on." Gandalf said.

"I mooned the enemy, just like BraveHeart did." Pippin said. Everyone stopped eating.

"I think I just became a vegetarian." Legolas said.

"Since when the hell were you not one?" Pixie asked.

"Since you made me eat that goose." He said putting down the boar.

"Forget the goose Legolas, the goose is gone!" Pixie said.

"I never liked it!" Legolas protested.

"You're living in the past Legolas! Stop living in the past!" Pixie shook him.

"Are you listening to what I'm saying?" Legolas asked.

"We'll help you through this Mr. Elf." Pippin said. "We all liked the goose!"

In the morning Legolas sat on a rock brushing his long, beautiful, blond hair.

"Is this some kind fancy pinky tea party you're going to?" Aragorn asked.

"Shut up." Legolas said.

"Or is this just a girly elf thing?"

"At least I'm going to live forever! Got that! Live forever!" Legolas had a menacing look in his eyes.

"Alright already. We get the idea!" Aragorn winced.

"I know, there's a way to settle this!" Boromir said.

"No sword fighting." Frodo and Sam sighed.

"Blast, damn and blast!" Boromir said in a cockney accent.

"That elf can't fight with a sword anyways! He don't have one!" Gimli laughed.

"What are you implying?" Legolas asked as he slipped the comb into his pocket.

"Oh, nothing, nothing," Gimli said sarcastically. "Except you wouldn't be able to use a sword if your life depended on it." He muttered under his breath.

"I could too!" Legolas threatened.

"No you couldn't Mr. Elf. You're an Elf." Merry gently reminded him.

"Shut up! All of you!" Legolas shouted and ran away crying.

"Oh great, look what you did. You just lost your best archer!" Pixie said after witnessing the encounter.

"Who's going to go get him?" Boromir asked.

Everyone looked around and whistled.

"Fine! I'll go!" Pixie called.

"And me!" Pippin ran after her. Everyone looked puzzled at him. "She might give me an onion!" he called to the rest of the fellowship.

"Why do you keep following me Hungry Boy?" she asked as she quickened her pace to loose him.

"Because I want an onion!" he called after her.

"Here!" she took an onion from her pocket and threw it at him. "Now will you leave me alone?!"