Chapter 13 – With You
Dear Sakura-kun,
If you're reading this, then that means that I'm gone. You must be reading this in my room, after discovering that it's empty.
I think you have a good idea of where I am, though I might as well re-iterate why I left.
I intend to search for Tenkai and then take him down. Maybe, if I do that, my curse will be lifted. Perhaps, by then, I would no longer be the Second Advent of Tenkai.
Perhaps.
I wanted to do this now because I could already feel the curse starting. I could already feel it working against me, draining me of my every being and soul. I consulted the Yumegumi on how to handle this (that's the reason why I leave so much), and they told me that I could only slow it down, not completely stop it. That's why I often keep to myself, locking myself in my room, because I was trying to apply what the Yumegumi taught me. It worked, but I felt that it wasn't going to last.
I think I know what you could be thinking right now. It goes something like, "Why did that idiot leave without telling us anything?"
It's because this is MY responsibility. It was my fault that Tenkai got his way. Because of me, Tenkai nearly destroyed the Imperial Capital. He took away everything that we've worked so hard for, just because I let him do it. My own desire for power got in the way of protecting the Capital.
Sakura-kun, you and others may have forgiven me for all the atrocities I've committed. You may have moved on, but I haven't. I haven't forgiven myself. I haven't moved on. I believe that while Tenkai still roams free, I can never forgive myself. When he's through, that's only when I can. That's only when I'll come back home.
I'm not sure, though, when I'll go home. I'm not sure if I can. But I promise you, that when this is all over, I'll go home. I want to be with you guys again.
I want to be with you.
If there were some other way that I can do this while I'm still there, in the Teigeki, I would undoubtedly do it right away. I really don't want to be away from all of you.
But I can't earn that right. Not until I defeat Tenkai and lift the curse. When I've had my retribution.
That's when I'll go home. Back to everybody. Back to you. That's when everything's going to be all right.
Sakura-kun, I'm glad that I've met you on that fateful day in Ueno. At first, I was pretty unsure if I could do it. Think about it, a single guy like me assigned to lead six girls! Even more, ACTRESSES! I was confused then, but when I saw you, I knew everything would be all right. You probably don't know it, but your cheerfulness gave me all the energy I needed to lead you all properly.
You were also some kind of beacon that enabled us to get out of our own personal darkness. Do you remember? It was through you that Iris was able to open up to us. She used to be so isolated, so quiet, but because of you, she was able to celebrate her dream birthday, and eventually, be an integral member of the team. You also helped me out in my own problems, showed me the way out of the darkness I was in. For that, I'm eternally grateful.
That's why, when I come back, I want you to meet me at Ueno Park. I'll send word of my arrival; so don't go rushing to wait for me. I don't want you to wait for me just yet. But if I do come home, and meet you there, we could continue where we left off, before Tenkai interrupted us.
Wait for me, Sakura-kun. I'll come home soon enough, and we'll be together again, with the others. Until then, take care of things while I'm gone. Tell Maria that she would have to be the Taichou until my return.
I will defeat Tenkai, and I will come home.
Teikoku Kagekidan
Hanagumi
Ohgami Ichiro
The letter spanned two pages, all handwritten in smooth paper. Some parts of the paper were moist, which Sakura thought were probably Ohgami's tears. All kept in a small white envelope with her name on it, handed to her by Iris this morning.
She sat on a chair inside Ohgami's empty room. The desk was empty. There were no more files, no more sheets of paper that needed signing. All of them were kept in a small box tucked away in the corner of the room. His clothes cabinet was empty, with hangers dangling on the hooks without clothes to hold.
The person who used to reside in the room was also gone, and Sakura, who already folded the two sheets of paper and tucked it back into the envelope, could only look out the window, hoping for a sign of where he was.
That morning, before she read the letter, she was going to the courtyard of the Teigeki to do her morning exercises. She would usually sit down on the soft grass and meditate, her sword, Arataka, by her side. Then, when the first dewdrop or the first leaf that fell, she would unsheathe her sword and unerringly strike at it, shattering the dewdrop into smaller drops or slicing the leaf into two.
But she was halted when she opened the door of her room. Iris was there, and handed her an envelope. She left as soon as Sakura held the envelope, heading back to her room. She seemed sad.
Her name was on it, and Sakura identified the handwriting, which belonged to Ohgami. Almost immediately, dread struck her heart, as she ran towards his room, fearing the worst.
And her fears became true. He had left the Teigeki to pursue Tenkai. As the letter said, he would fulfill his responsibility. He was going to fight someone that the whole team barely defeated. There might be unforeseen dangers up ahead, and Sakura thought that Ohgami might be too concentrated on his own resolutions rather than his own safety. He might as well be running to enemy territory with his sword blindly thrusting into the air.
"Baka," she murmured, keeping the letter close, "You could have at least told ME. You could have at least trusted me…"
Her voice trailed off. It was hopeless. He was gone, and he left her behind.
"So, he left already," a voice said.
Sakura lifted her head and saw Yoneda at the doorway, with a slight smirk on his face.
He strode into the room, his hands in his pockets. "Sometimes, the boy could be so predictable."
"You…you knew, shihainin?"
He shook his head, taking a seat on his bed. "No, but I had a hunch that he'd pull something like this. You know him, trying to act as if the whole world was on his shoulders."
She shook her head. "He didn't understand. We were always there for him, but he blamed himself too much."
"But, it IS his responsibility. After all, he lost to Tenkai and allowed him to run free. Think about it, Sakura-kun. If YOU were responsible for releasing something that can destroy the world, wouldn't you feel like you have to atone for what you did? Alone? Ohgami-kun's fighting with his personal demons, along with the curse and eventually, Tenkai himself. He thinks that the only way to atone for his sins is to fight whatever he unleashed into the world with his own hands."
Sakura made no reply. Grief mixed with anxiety made her heart heavy, and she found it hard to speak. Yoneda perceived her silence as misunderstanding, so he reiterated what he was talking about.
"Let's say, you made a mistake in the play, and Sumire-kun starts blabbing about you wrecking the whole production and you were a pain in the neck. Not only that, your mistake caused the curtains to collapse, crashing down on the props, basically destroying everything."
Then he stopped to think. "Now wait a minute. That did happen. The first day you arrived."
Then he put on a cheerful face then said, "Well, anyway, you feel bad, right? So you try to fix everything. But you won't ask for help, because since you wrecked everything with your hands, you should fix everything with your hands. Logical, isn't it?"
She quietly nodded.
"That's the same way Ohgami-kun's thinking. But the only flaw that he has is that he hasn't forgiven himself."
She lifted her head, somehow feeling that Yoneda's discussion might lead to something.
"If you wrecked the play, and everyone forgives you for what you did, you should too. You think that by fixing everything would give you the right to forgive yourself, but the mere thought and intention that you want to make amends is enough.
"But Ohgami-kun won't. He'll probably continue to degrade himself, making him feel worse about himself; continually blaming himself for all the damage he's caused. But he fails to see that that's what Tenkai wants. The curse is already destroying him, and his constant degradation is only speeding up the process. He'll be an empty vessel even before he reaches Tenkai."
He brushed his chin thoughtfully, mentally praising his oratory expertise, and then looked at Sakura, who was listening to him intently. She was getting the answers she was looking for.
He continued, "That's why there should be someone to watch out for him. There should be someone that could pull him out of his hole whenever he's fallen deep enough. Someone should be there to make him feel good about himself, to tell him that everything will be all right."
He smiled at Sakura. That single look talked to Sakura, telling her what she could do. She gladly nodded to accept.
"But the question remains: Where could he be going? He could be anywhere."
That sank Sakura's spirit. She was hoping that his insight might give her his location.
"But let me tell you something. Whenever I have to go off to war, back in the days of the Teikoku Rikogun Taikouma Butai, I'd try to spend at least a day in a place that holds plenty of memories for me. I'd go to a place where I can really feel at peace. There's always uncertainty in war. You never know if you'll survive it or not. That's why whenever war comes with the Kouma, I'd go to that special place, clear my thoughts, and pray for a successful battle."
Then almost suddenly, Sakura abruptly stood up, sending the chair she was sitting on falling, then instantly bowed low, her hair drooping around her head. "Arigato gozaimas, shihainin. Please take care of things while we're gone."
Then, she bolted out the door.
Yoneda watched her leave with a smile on his old, wrinkled face. He sighed in contentment. He had taught his children well, and they had all grown up. They could take care of themselves now, except for one stubborn boy who still needed to learn a thing or two.
"Kazuma," he murmured, "Your daughter's grown up to be a fine woman. Guide her and protect her as you always have."
Then he added, "Protect the both of them."
"I can't believe it. I still went here."
Ohgami stood alone in the Ueno Park, on the ridge that had an enormous view of the sun-bathed Imperial Capital. A steel fence prevented anyone from accidentally falling down the steep cliff, and cherry blossom trees were abundant.
The trees were still being replanted. The fight with Tenkai caused plenty of destruction that spanned from the city to the park itself. Trees were burned down in the heat of the battle, and numerous trees were lost. The trees that were spared, however, retained their beautiful pink haze.
He was dressed in his usual clothes, plus a brown coat. Two suitcases, one larger than the other, were at his feet. Hidden in his coat were two katanas, thickly wrapped with cloth and bound with leather straps. In his pocket was a train ticket.
"I guess I couldn't avoid coming here," he murmured to himself, "I guess this place has a lot of good memories for me. This may be the last time I see this wonderful place."
He took a deep breath, exhaled, and then looked at the view of the city. "I'll come back here, someday. I don't know when, but I'll come home."
He clasped his hands together in prayer. He murmured softly, "Help me have a safe journey, and while I'm away, protect the Hanagumi."
Ohgami took a look at his watch. It was thirty minutes to twelve o' clock. His train was scheduled to leave at noon, and he still had much walking to do.
So, picking up his suitcases, he briskly walked away from the Capital, heading for the train station.
His mind was set now. There was no turning back.
But he stopped, and over his shoulder, took another look at the city he was going to leave behind. Then, he couldn't help but wonder if Sakura had already gotten the letter from Iris. All sorts of thoughts were entering his mind, like how did she take the news, or how was she feeling now.
But he wouldn't know the answers now. Sakura was far away, back in the Teigeki, and he was here, in Ueno. He wasn't going back to the Teigeki until he finished his job, so the only way that he would know was that if Sakura would come here right now.
He chuckled to himself, discarding the thought. She wouldn't do that.
He picked up his pace. But the thought lingered in his mind, and it gave him some kind of amusement. He could already imagine her running towards him, out of breath, bringing a suitcase so rapidly packed that some clothes were sticking out.
In the depth of his thinking, he could even hear his name being called by Sakura. His thoughts were beginning to be more amusing by the minute.
"…saaaan…."
He kept walking on, keeping his thought to himself, chuckling.
"Ohgami-saaaaan…."
It was getting louder. He was thinking about it too much. He shook his head.
"Ohgami-saaaan!"
His imagination was going haywire. It was as if she WAS here, screaming his name.
"OHGAMI-SAAAAN!!!!"
The hairs at the back of his neck rose at an end. Chills shot up his spine. All of a sudden, his feet were rooted to the ground.
He couldn't believe it, but the fact remained that he WAS hearing his name being called.
Slowly, unreadily, he turned around.
And there she was. Panting, out of breath, bringing with her a suitcase so rapidly packed that some clothes were sticking out, all fit the description of what he was thinking about.
He blinked his eyes several times. This wasn't real.
But she was there, catching her breath, a smile on her face, glad that she was able to catch up.
All he could manage was, "Sa-Sa-Sa-Sa…."
"Yokkata…I made it. I thought you already left…whew," she said with glee in her face, wiping the sweat from her brow with a handkerchief.
Then the word came out. "Sakura-kun?!"
Then the sentence. "What the heck are you doing here?"
"I was looking for you," she replied, in between gasps.
This was unbelievable. "How did you know I was here?"
She shrugged, smiling. "Lucky guess."
He just stared at her, confused. But almost immediately, he shook his head, shaking off the puzzlement in his brain. With a serious tone, he asked, "Did you read my letter?"
She nodded, standing upright and dusting her clothes.
"Then if you did," Ohgami continued, "You'd know that I wanted to do what I have to do alone."
"Ohgami-san..." she started, but Ohgami cut her off.
"Don't you understand? I want to defeat Tenkai so that my curse would be lifted! I have to defeat him because it's my responsibility. I allowed his freedom. I allowed his spree of destruction. If I hadn't succumbed to him, then none of all this chaos and carnage would have happened.
"I won't be able to forgive myself if you get involved! Have you any idea what could happen? You could get hurt, or worse, killed! I'm only doing this, going off alone, because I don't want anything bad to happen to you."
He clenched his fists. "This is my fault. I didn't want this to happen, but because of me, it did. I should be the one to set things right, regardless of what could happen to me."
He then looked at Sakura, who just watched him with caring eyes. Slightly startled, he then continued, "You knew what I wanted when you read that letter. You knew that I wanted to finish this alone. I wanted you to be safe. That's all!"
"I know that," Sakura answered, "I read you letter, reread it a couple of times to see if I misunderstood anything. I even have it here with me."
He swiped his hand in the air, expressing his exasperation over the matter. "Then, why, Sakura-kun? Why are you here? Why did you disregard what I wrote? Why do you want to come with me?"
Then, with a sincere smile and a voice that contained true honesty, she replied, "Because I want to come with you."
He gasped, hearing her words, letting them sink into his mind. He blinked his eyes. He didn't understand.
Sakura slowly inched her way towards him, speaking as she went along. "I'm coming with you for the same reasons you wanted me to stay behind. I want you to be safe. I'll never be sure of that unless I come with you, to help you do your task.
"Also, I want to be there for you, in case you need help. I know that even now, you're still fighting with your inner demons. You constantly batter yourself, blaming over what's happened."
She was near him now. She placed her hand on his cheek. She looked deep into his eyes, seemingly penetrating past the orbs and into his soul.
"I want to be there to make sure that you can still get up when you fall down. I want to be there so that when you fall down into a dark pit of your own despair, I can pull you back up.
"I want to be there because I don't want you to lose even before you fight with Tenkai."
Ohgami's hard resolution melted when Sakura spoke those words to him. He wanted to do this on his own, feeling that it was only right that he should be the one to atone for all his past mistakes. He left important people behind because he didn't want them to get hurt in his own personal struggles.
It never came to him that there was one girl there who wanted to be with him, who didn't mind getting hurt, as long as she would be there to help him. She didn't the mind the consequences; she didn't look at the dangers of his journey. All that she wanted was that she would be there for him. No more, no less.
Ohgami smiled, an honest, truly happy smile. "I guess, no matter how I try to convince you to stay, you wouldn't budge, wouldn't you?"
She smiled too. "Mochiron!"
He took her hand from his cheek and just held it tight in his hand. Ohgami looked into her sincere eyes, reading her readiness for whatever the future might have in store for them.
With all the enthusiasm that he could muster, he said out loud, "Ikuze, Sakura-kun!"
She replied, matching his eagerness, "Hai, Ohgami-san!"
They ran off, hand in hand, heading for the train station.
Ohgami was smiling. This was better than he had hoped. He had Sakura with him, and while it seemed so difficult and incomprehensible at the beginning, when he felt her touch and heard her voice, everything seemed to be going all right.
They said good-bye to the Imperial Capital, boarding the train (Ohgami had to find a way to buy a last-minute ticket for Sakura. It cost him a lot of money, buying one from a scalper, but it was well worth it). They said good-bye to the people they would leave behind, promising them they would come back triumphant.
And now, with a lighter heart, Ohgami mused that his journey to redeem himself now actually had a ray of hope guiding him. He smiled. Everything now seemed to be going on a right pace, and he now had hope that he would do all right. With Sakura at his side, nothing seemed to be impossible now.
