Creature Comforts: A Farscape Fan Fic (the fourth and final chapter)

"God, what a mess," Crichton said flicking his touch around the swelled vent "it's been half eaten!"

"John! Please!" Jool sobbed "Those barbaric little... little.. THINGS ate Tricket! It's disgusting!"

"I am sorry Jool," said Pilot over the coms "I did not realize that these creatures ate the mother of the litter after the birth."

"I didn't even know she was a SHE!" Wailed Jool "Why poor little Tricket?"

"It is apparently what these things do, when the female karret reaches one cycle it self-pregnates. The litter are born carnivores, they become omnivores as they reach two weekans. The litter is born and the karret dies from exhaustion, so the young's only source of food is the mother's carcass-"

"STOP! I can't take this any more!" Jool cried "It's horrible!"

"Hey, that's nature princess," Chiana said with not the slightest touch of sympathy. Jool scowled angrily.

"Pilot?" Crichton crawled out of the vent "why didn't you tell us this earlier?"

"I am sorry, I didn't know commander, I have only just scanned my data files for this species' profile. Also, it is not the adult karret that causes the reactions in Leviathans but the young. They secret a special oil through the skin that causes the reactions," Pilot sighed apologetically "Jool was right, it wasn't Tricket that was causing the reactions, it was her litter."

Jool grinned triumphantly.

"These things have to be found, Moya's reactions are getting worse and they are spreading through out the ship. If they are not stopped soon-"

"We are all so totally screwed," interrupted John "let's go people!"

They set off again, armed with pulse rifles and determined to find them. John and D'argo headed along the air ducts on the lower tiers and Jool and Chiana investigated the higher tiers.

John pointed his gun around corners and D'argo inspected the vents "She's defiantly getting worse," D'argo said "look at these vents, you can't even fit a finger through there!"

"Yeah, looks bad."

"What was Jool thinking?"

Crichton shook his head "I have no idea, but let's find them before ARRRGH!" He jumped up and down screaming and cursing violently "there's one on my frelling FOOT! D'argo!"

A karret young had sneaked up on John and had bitten into his foot, it's sharp teeth penetrating his boot and it wasn't going to let go in a hurry. "DON'T JUST STAND THERE! SHOOT IT!"

D'argo aimed carefully, but it was hard with John leaping around and trying to shake it off. "Stand still! I can't hit it if you don't stand still!"

"Frelling mother of GOD! GET IT OFF!"

D'argo shot at it and missed, hitting an opposite wall. The karret dropped off John's foot, lunged at D'argo and landed on his chest, hissing and spitting. D'argo cried in alarm, pulled it off and threw it against the opposite wall. It flew like a hissing Frisbee and hit the wall hard, but got up quickly before the two astonished men could take a shot.

They recovered their senses and shot at it desperately, but missed and it dived away down the corridor.

D'argo turned to his human friend "You alright?"

Crichton glared "Just peachy," he spat, his voice dripping with sarcasm "I had a nasty little critter bit into my foot, but apart from that-"

"We have to let Jool take a look at you," the Luxan said, ignoring the sarcastic tone "who knows what diseases that thing could be carrying?"

"Thanks for making me feel so much better D."

D'argo tapped his com "Chiana? You there?"

"Yep, what's wrong?" She replied.

"Crichton's just been bitten by one of these things so careful when you see one, they seem to have quite a nasty bite-"

"No problem D'argo, I'll keep a look out."

"Tell Jool to come up to the lab to treat John."

"Sure, we'll keep looking and I'll send her up in a while."

"See you there."

Jool was anxious "Do we really have to shot them? I mean couldn't we keep them in cages or something? Take them to a commerce planet or something and make sure they go to a loving home?"

Chiana was on the verge of pulling out her tonsils just to have something to hit Jool with. "Listen Jool, those things are dangerous! They are killing Moya, trying to eat us and when all of Moya's air ducts close up we are going to run out of air and then we will all DIE! So stop whining!" She stalked on, occasionally looking in ducts.

Jool had had enough "Look Chiana, I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you could at least stop acting like you know it all! You brought the last dangerous creature on board!"

Chiana stopped and her voice turned to ice "How did you find out about that?"

"Does it matter?"

Chiana rolled her eyes "No.."

"Well then."

They carried on in angry silence for a while, until suddenly Chiana stopped and pointed her gun around the corridors. Jool jumped "What? What?" She asked hurriedly.

"Nothing, I thought I heard something."

"Don't frelling do that to me!"

"Do what?"

"Scare me like that!"

"Sor-ry!"

"And don't talk to me like that!"

"I'll talk how I like!"

"Stop acting like you know it all!"

"Only when you just-"

"Why won't you ever just-"

"SHUT YOUR WAKKET HOLE!" They screamed, facing each other and hissing.

Suddenly, there was a scratching noise coming from a small storage room. They turned, argument forgotten and their pulse rifles trained on the door. "What was that?" Squeaked Jool, paralyzed with fear.

"I don't know.."

"Oh great!"

"Shhh!"

Chiana carefully tapped the door to the storage room with her rifle, it opened easily so she cautiously walked in.

The room was pitch black and Chiana couldn't see a thing. She edged forward and turned to Jool who was standing in the door way "You got a light princess?" She asked.

"There's one here," Jool replied and flicked a switch by the door. The room filled with light that was overwhelming for a moment. Jool jumped "Well at least we can see now-" She stopped and stared in horror. Chiana turned to look and saw it.

Two karret young were fighting over something, it was a leg of the adult karret.

"Yuk.." breathed Chiana.

Jool shook violently, tears sprung to her eyes, she threw her head back and screamed at the top of her lungs. Chiana covered her ears and bellowed "STOP THAT!"

Quietly, she heard tiny noises, like little explosions, and tiny splats. When the noise died away, she opened her eyes and looked down. The two karret young were dead, they lay head-less around the leg that they were fighting over. Chiana smiled "Hey Jool, looks like your talent as a screaming cry baby actually helped."

Jool was still shaking "Those little..." she muttered.

"C'mon Jool, let's go find the others."

Up in the lab Jool gave John an injection to prevent any diseases from the bite spreading and bandaged the foot. "I hate karrets," John muttered "I like them when they are older and fluffier, rather when they are young and they try to eat your foot!"

Jool said nothing.

"The scream?" D'argo was saying "That's what killed them?"

"Yeah, their heads exploded, I guess the pitch was too much for them," Chiana said with a laugh.

"Well, now we know what can kill them easily, shooting them is going to take too long, so if we get something that can get them all at once it will solve the problem faster."

"Trouble is, they'll have spread out all over the ship by now," D'argo pointed out "Maybe if we broadcast Jool's scream over the ship-"

"It will leave the bodies in the ducts and all over Moya, their fluids will probably kill her," Pilot said over the com.

"We need to get them into one place," John said.

"What about your idea for a trap earlier?" D'argo remarked "we can set down some food and get Jool to scream and kill them all."

"How are we going to attract them all?" asked Chiana "I mean, how do we know that we haven't got thousands of them all over the ship?"

"I checked the databanks," interjected Pilot "it is physically impossible for a female karret to give birth to more than ten in a litter."

"You got two," said D'argo thoughtfully "that's only eight of them left."

"Some might be trapped in the swollen vents," said Jool coldly, still in a mild state of shock, "we need to get them out first won't we?"

"The DRDs are working on a antidote to cease the swelling, if we get most of the karrets away from the ship, then she would be able to flush her ducts and expel the rest of them into space," said Pilot.

"So scream kill them first, flush the others later? We are making some progress!" Cried John in delight "Pilot, you mix up the antidote and we'll get us a karret trap together-"

"We'll need somewhere to amplify the smell of the food, so they'll all be able to sniff and come running," said Chiana.

"Somewhere where all of Moya's ducts are connected to," agreed D'argo "and where we'll be able to get them all in one place."

They all knew the perfect spot.

There was silence from the com for a while and then "Alright, use the den, but be careful when bringing those things in here! It is the center of Moya's functions!" Cried Pilot.

"We'll be careful," said John reassuringly, he stood up "Pilot- ow! Goddamnit - We'll go round the ducts with some meat to flush them out towards the den, Jool, you go to the den and wait for us there and keep those DRDs cooking up some remedy."

Crichton grinned, picked up a pulse rifle and limped towards the door "Alright y'all," he drawled, his accent at the forefront of his speech "let's go bag us some CARROTS!"

They found some meat in the food storage and hurried along the ducts around Pilot's den "Here little bastards.. come here.." John coaxed "I got a score to settle..."

"I got one on the scent!" Called Chiana from two tiers below him over the com "I'm heading to Pilot's den!"

"Ok Pip, Jool?"

"I'm here John!" Jool was heaving the hunks of meat around the increasingly worried Pilot.

"Got that meat spread around the den?"

"Yes!"

"When there is about eight or so around the meat you scream like a banshee and do it quickly!"

"Alright, I'll try-"

"Don't try, DO IT! D'argo? Everything okay there?"

"I've got one on the scent as well John, we'll be there in a microt!"

Crichton tapped the com off and walked quickly down the corridor, for some reason, he was actually enjoying himself. He wasn't sure why.

"I'd look out if I were you," Harvey said, some where in the back of his mind.

Crichton turned to see a karret hissing at him. He grinned "Hey there little buddy," he smirked evilly "want another taste of genuine human foot?"

The creature raced for John's foot again , but John was ready this time. He lifted his foot and brought it down hard on the thing's head. There was an satisfying, if rather disgusting, squelch!

"Pilot? Jool?" John wiped his foot on the floor as best he could "make that seven."

Jool saw them first, they dived in through ducts beside the door to Pilot's chamber and ran like small, pink, hairless streaks towards the meat. She shook as she watched them devour it quickly, unable to move or speak.

"Scream," she told herself "do it now."

Suddenly, one of them, the biggest, looked up at Pilot. It yelped as it's gazed turned from that of curiosity to one of hunger.

"John!" Cried Pilot in alarm "I think it's going to-"

It leapt. It almost flew towards the unfortunate Pilot and bit into his great dome like head. Pilot cried out in pain as even more of the creatures leapt towards him, jaws dripping.

"Pilot!" yelped Jool. She ran towards him "Get off of him you frelling little barbarians!"

"Jool?! What the hezmana's going on?"

"This is for TRICKET!" Jool cried, she stopped in front of Pilot, who was fighting off the karrets left and right, and screamed and screamed, her lungs near busting.

All over the ship, the crew ducked and covered their ears at the sound. It echoed through the com channels like a roar and in their skulls like a cavern. It was Chiana who managed to come to her senses first "JOOL!"

The screaming continued.

"JOOL! I THINK THEY'RE DEAD NOW!" Shouted John above the din.

The scream died away, Jool took heaving breaths and looked at the scene around Pilot's panels. There were at least six or seven dead, headless karrets lying around the shaking, traumatized Pilot.

They were gone.

Jool, exhausted, rolled her eyes towards the ceiling and spiraled to the floor.

She awoke with something blessedly cold pressing against her forehead, she opened her eyes and saw John's kindly blue eyes staring back. "You okay Jool?"

"I... uh..." she sat up "think so, what happened?"

"You passed out, you nearly broke our eardrums with that scream!"

"Did I get them?"

"Yeah, D'argo and the DRDs are cleaning up the mess in the den. You missed the big flush by the way."

"The what?"

"After Moya got her ducts back to normal size, she could flush them out and now the lower tiers are opening up again," that was Chiana's voice "the whole place shook!"

Jool rubbed her eyes and waited for her head to stop swimming "So, it's all over then?"

"Pretty much," said John.

Jool looked uncomfortable for a moment, she hugged her knees and turned her head away from John "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought Tricket on board, it's all my fault."

"You got that right ."

"Chi?" Said Crichton meaningfully "be nice."

"Why should I? She nearly got us all killed!"

"I'm really sorry.." Jool began to sob "I just wanted... someone to be nice to me..."

"Hey! Don't turn on the water works princess, it ain't going to work!" Chiana growled angrily.

"Chiana! Be nice, okay Jool brought that thing on board, but you did it to remember? She's sorry, that's good enough."

"They attacked Pilot!" Sobbed Jool.

"He's recovering," soothed John patting the Interon's hand "it's okay, everything's alright."

"Oh please.." muttered Chiana, walking angrily out of the room.

When they were alone, Jool sniffed deeply and Crichton patted her on the shoulder "We managed to... er... scrape, I mean gather together Ticket's remains-"

"Tricket's."

"Sorry- Tricket's remains and I'd thought you'd like a burial for her."

Jool looked up through tear blurred eyes at him, "That would be so nice," she hiccupped "I can say goodbye to her properly."

She got up, staggered a bit and walked towards the door. She remembered something and turned "John?" she said "thank you, at least someone on board is being nice to me.

"That's okay, I'm glad I could help."

When she was sure she was far away enough, she stopped and leaned against the wall.

She let out a huge sigh and smiled.

It was going to be fine. Really.

The End