"Max!" She dove into his arms, and he caught her in a tight embrace. "Max, you're back! I can't believe it. You're really here! Where's—"
"I'm alone, Maria," he cut her off. At the despair slowly enveloping her, he continued, "There was only one way back here, one capsule. The war is over. And I took it because I wanted to go to Liz." He caught the guilty look in her eyes when she glanced up at the apartment. "I already know, Maria. And I can't be selfish any longer. I'll leave."
"But Liz is not in love with Jesse. They're fooling themselves, Max."
He nodded. "They know that now."
Her eyebrows curved in confusion. "Then why are you leaving?" she demanded. "If you know that you will always be the man she loves, why are you running?"
"Because loving me has never been good for her." Maria frowned, and he chucked her chin. "Be proud of me, Maria. I'm finally learning what it's really like to be human."
"I've always been proud of you, girlfriend," she told him. "Even when you the most selfish bastard in three thousand galaxies I was proud of you. Because I knew you always thought about people around you."
He picked up the tattered bag that barely held the groceries together. And then he ran up the steps and gave it to the doorman, with instructions to take it to the apartment. "You know I came here to apologize to Liz, and now I realize I should be apologizing to you."
"What do you mean?"
He took her hand in his and flagged down a cab. "Will you let me explain it all to you on the way back to Roswell? I can't stay here, Maria. I've nothing to stay here for anymore. I need to make the trip back, accept my responsibilities."
Max opened the door for her. Maria glanced back at the building behind her again. And then she gave him a smile and climbed in. "I'll just leave them a message that I met up with an old friend."
~~
Max glanced beside him at the sleeping young woman. He was amazed at her capacity to laugh even when the largest part of her heart had been torn from her. He was amazed at her capacity to forgive, when he'd told her how he manipulated Michael into going to Antar with him.
He waited for the fury to rise. When he'd confessed to her what he told Michael at the café, and how he took the only way to Earth for himself when it was Michael who lay blood and sweat to finish the business in Antar, he truly expected to witness her wrath. At the very least he waited for tears—of frustration, of anger, of sadness.
Instead, Maria had rested her head back on the plane seat for a few seconds. And then she straightened and snapped at him. "God, Max you can be so selfish and stupid!" And that was the extent of it. Because afterwards he could almost believe that he should forgive himself. Because Maria had given him a soft, sad smile and said, "The king of Antar is too human now. Look what hanging out with us turned you into!" He was not sure what Maria meant by it. He did not know if she was angry, because she didn't look like it. So he didn't speak. And then she covered his hand with hers and said, "Don't beat yourself over the head with it, Max. You did what you had to do."
"I can't help thinking now that I should have given the capsule to Michael. He deserved the chance you know."
"It's too late for that. Just promise me you'll give my love to him when you get back there, okay?"
Max nodded. "I just can't give him hugs and kisses from you. That would be too off." Maria had smiled and closed her eyes to sleep. "Maria?"
"Yeah, Max?" Her eyes didn't open.
"When we get back to Roswell, would you see me off?" And only then did she look at him again. "I need you there so I know I didn't screw up ALL of what I had on earth."
She felt her heart clench tightly inside her chest at his request. She would have to relive the painful image, and remind herself that Michael was that unreachable to her. "Sure, Max. I'll be there."
~~
They stood in front of the cave where Max's capsule had landed. Maria held onto Max's hand as he led her inside. "I hope this has enough power to go back."
"Why?"
Max bent to check under it, turning gadgets, pushing buttons. "Because when I left it wasn't fully recharged. I guess I was arrogantly hoping that when I return, Liz would welcome me with open arms, resume our life together. I never really figured on getting back."
She took a deep breath. "You do know that I'm sorry for what happened right? I guess I'm partly to blame. I never told her she shouldn't pursue this demented idea of hers."
"Hey," Max said softly. "You of all people have nothing to apologize for. I, on the other hand—"
"Max," she warned.
"See? We all made our own choices and decisions. And when mine affected so many, you told me I still had the right to think of myself. The same goes for you." Max pulled himself into the vehicle and flipped a switch. Blinding lights flashed on the surface, and Maria's arm flew to her face to shield herself. Max must have been satisfied with the energy still in it. He climbed out again and embraced Maria. "I'll miss you," he whispered into her hair. "I did so many things wrong, but the summer between sophomore and junior high I did maybe the only thing right. I got close to you."
Maria smiled and held onto him. "I'll miss you too, Max. I hope you have a wonderful life," she told him sincerely. "You deserve it." Max turned and climbed in. Maria stood outside his window. "Max," she called hesitantly.
"Yeah?"
"Could you…" She drew his hand over the gentle swell of her stomach and closed her eyes. "Would you keep images of me and my baby in your head? And when you see Michael again, could you share it with him at least? I need for him to see us."
Max studied the face of the young woman standing close to him. He drew a deep breath and laid his hand over cloth covering her stomach. He sucked in his breath at the flood of pictures that slammed into him one by one. Even though invited, he felt like a thief as he was flooded by the warmth of seeing images of his friend swelling with his best friend's child, holding a newborn infant, nursing and singing and dancing with the baby. And even though she had the most brilliant smiles in every one of the scenes, he could hear and see the depth of her loneliness.
"Maria!" he gasped when he forcibly drew his hand away.
Her hands rose to cup his cheek. "Thank you, Max. You will never know how much this means to me." And suddenly Max was lifting the heavy door open, closing the window and stepping out. "What are you doing, Max? You need to leave. Those blinding lights a while ago would have been seen from town!"
"I'm letting Michael see you and his baby, Maria. Just like you asked." And suddenly he was propelling her into the capsule, dumbstruck. He sat her on the seat he vacated and entered numerous digits into the monitor. "You'll be fine," his voice soothed. "This won't even be too long of a trip." Max punched a button and belts crisscrossed her shoulder to lap on both sides. "You'll be sleeping for the bulk of it. And you'll be going through a wormhole that will eject you to the solar system that Antar revolves in anyway."
"What are you talking about?" she choked out.
"It's like… Star Trek."
"I am not a geek," she gritted out. "I don't follow that."
"Maria, you will be fine," he told her. "You will sleep around a month."
"A month… Max, I'm pregnant. I can't sleep a month. I can't NOT eat for a day!"
He pointed to a mask at the side of the chair. "That's your air and that will also be your sustenance. In gas. There's really nothing to worry about. At least this way would save you through a million of light years worth of traveling."
"My God," she breathed softly. "I'm really going, aren't I? You're really giving me your last trip back."
"If you want it." She covered her face in her hands, and he wrapped his arms around her. "Yes, Maria, you're really going to see him again."
"Max, if you can't be together with Liz here, why are you staying to give me this?"
He tucked her hair beneath her ear. And then he drew thick metallic covering and covered her body in it. "Because this is the only way I can make it up to you and Michael? To my sister and Jesse? I don't know, Maria. I just know I feel better doing this than going there. Home is where Liz is. Even though she'll never find out that I'm back."
"Thank you, Max."
He smiled at her. "Sweet dreams, Maria." And then he placed the mask over her face and waited until her eyes drifted shut. He closed the door and ran out of the cave, getting in to the rented car. Moments later, the capsule broke through the surface and out of the atmosphere.
