Disclaimer: Once again, only Karalynn belongs to me. Everyone else belongs to Jonathan Larson.
(Did I say it was gonna get better? Ack! I lied. I'm beginning to get bored with Karalynn now that she's softening up. I know how I want this to end but it's getting harder for me to get there.. oh well. I hope this chapter isn't flamed as hard as I suspect it will be. Any suggestions would be appreciated. R/R! Thanks!)
Ch. 4 Roger
A warm early summer breeze drifted into the loft and Mark looked up from his camera, enjoying the feel of it on his face.
He smiled to himself for a moment.
His life was almost perfect.
He had his friends.
He had Karalynn.
He had his camera.
A few companies had even called him back about some of his films. He didn't even remember sending most of them out- he had done it so long ago. But now they were calling and that was all that mattered.
Yup. His life was perfect.
Almost.
He heard the door open and Mark turned around to greet his girlfriend.
His heart stopped in his chest.
"Hey Roger." Mark said weakly. "You're home early."
The tall blonde man walked into the loft, holding his guitar case. He grinned up at Mark and set down the case.
"Hey Mark, what's going on?" Roger said. "Practice got out early. We have a gig tonight but I wanted to hang out with you before then." He pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards, with his arms up on the back. "I barely see you anymore. What's up?"
Mark gulped and put down his camera. He forced himself to smile.
For the past few months Mark had been working like a dog, trying to keep Karalynn away from Roger and vice versa.
It wasn't easy.
He spent his days at the loft and nights at Karalynn's apartment. Karalynn sometimes stopped by the loft during the day- strangely enough, the two had never run into each other.
Mark prayed she wouldn't stop by today.
He prayed that she would keep her summer class in for it's full four hours and fifty minutes.
"Nothing's up." Mark said. "My life's the same. Boring old Mark, as usual. You know, filming. Being boring...."
"You still with that stuck up bitch?" Roger asked.
Mark stared at him. "Roger, she's not a bitch." he said. "You never even gave her a cha..."
"Mark, I've been meaning to talk to you about her..."
"Mimi thinks she's nice." Mark interjected. "And you love Mimi, right? So if Mimi likes someone..."
"I don't like Carol."
"Her name is Karalynn."
"Did someone say my name?"
Mark whirled around, almost falling off of the table where he sat.
Karalynn walked in, smiling brightly.
"Hi Mark, I let my class out early and..." She stopped when she saw Roger. Her gray eyes flashed and her face grew hard. Karalynn and Roger stared at each other like two tigers in a cage, about to attack.
Just when Mark thought Roger was going to start yelling, he jumped to his feet and stomped off into his room, slamming the door so hard it shook on its frame.
"I see he's as charming as he was when we first met." Karalynn said sarcastically.
Mark hopped off the table and walked towards her, feeling better when he pulled her into his arms.
"Karalynn, the only reason why you guys don't get along is because...."
"We're sooooo alike." Karalynn mumbled. "Is that your only theory, Mark? I mean, how about he's a jerk? Or he's so hard headed that you could break a block of wood on his head?"
"He's my bestfriend." Mark said quietly, looking at her.
Karalynn sighed and tapped his chest with her finger. "No fair." she mumbled. "You know I always back down from a fight when you look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Your eyes get all big and round and...." Karalynn laughed. "Stop doing that!"
Mark batted his eyes at her and leaned in closer. "Oh, you mean this?"
She laughed again and pushed him back gently. Mark reluctantly let her go.
"Mark, I'm going back on campus." she said, dangling her car keys. "I have to write the midterm for my undergrads."
Mark looked back at Roger's room. "I'll go hang out with Roger. He's right. I haven't been around that much. I miss him." he said honestly. He looked back at Karalynn. "Can I stop by later tonight, Dr. Demerin?"
Karalynn smiled at the title. She had finally earned her Ph.d back in May and the novelty of it still hadn't worn off. Mark knew it made her smile inside to hear him, or anyone else, say it.
"Mark, do you even have to ask anymore?" she said, suddenly serious.
Mark shrugged. "Well, yeah." he said. "I don't wanna assume..."
She kissed him briefly on the lips and walked towards the door. "Mark, it's okay to assume sometimes." she said as she walked out. "Just use your key."
Mark looked confused. "What key?" he asked just before she threw a bright, shiny object at him.
He caught it with one hand.
It was a key to her apartment.
He looked up at her in amazement.
She winked at him and then walked out the door.
Roger scratched his head as he walked out of his room. It was mid afternoon but he had no band practice today. He looked around the empty loft and saw a note on the table.
He read it out loud.
"Roger- went to the store. Groceries. Mark."
Roger chuckled to himself and opened the refrigerator. It was empty.
"Great timing, Mark." Roger muttered. He closed it and scratched his head again.
Mimi was at work.
Joanne was at work.
Mark was away.
And there was no way he was going to hang out with Maureen.
Or Benny.
He wondered what Collins was doing. He walked towards the phone and stopped when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He glanced up at the door when he heard the lock open.
"Oh God." Roger muttered.
Karalynn walked in and stopped when she saw him.
"Mark left his scarf at my place." she said simply. Roger looked down at the familiar blue and white cloth in her hands. "Just tell him I stopped by."
"He seems to be spending a lot of time at your place lately." Roger said.
Karalynn put the scarf down on the table and glanced up. "Yeah? You think so?" she said tersely. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I barely see him anymore."
"That's not my fault." she said.
"Oh you don't think so?" he said sarcastically. He walked towards her menacingly but she didn't flinch. "Well guess where he's at most of the time?"
Karalynn stood up and folded her arms across her chest. She said nothing as she glared at him.
"Look, I know your type." Roger said. "I see you walk around with your head up high thinking you're better than everyone else. Don't think I don't remember what you said about Mark when I first met you...."
"Oh, you mean you're holding a grudge against me?" Karalynn spat out, her lips dripping with sarcasm. "How surprising, Roger! I didn't know you could hold grudges! You seemed like such a nice person..."
"You called him a fucking retard..."
"I barely knew him then!"
"That doesn't matter!" he yelled down at her.
"It fucking matters!" she yelled back. "It especially matters when you knew him for most of your adult life and you still ran out on him!"
Roger's blue eyes narrowed as he glowered at her. "You almost ran out on him too you know." he said coldly. "What? Surprised that I knew about that little stunt you almost pulled? Yeah, Mark told me. You almost left..."
"But I didn't." she said, her voice dropping. Her gray eyes darkened like storm clouds filled with rain.
And thunder.
And lightning.
"That honor goes to you, Roger." she hissed. "Right? Because you're the one who actually left!"
"Hey! That was last year and you have no idea what happened because you weren't there and..."
"Well, guess what, Roger- that doesn't matter." she yelled. "Because from what I hear- you were barely there for him either!"
"I'm here now!" Roger said.
Karalynn smiled bitterly. "Well so am I."
They stared at each other for a long time, each one waiting for the other to back down.
"You're not good enough for him, Karalynn." Roger said in a hoarse, quiet voice. "I know people like you. When the going gets tough, you get going. So right now things are good. Well that's just great for you and Mark. What happens when you find someone richer? Someone with a bunch of fucking letters after his name? Someone you think is better than Ma..."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Karalynn snapped. "You have no right to..."
Roger walked up to her and stood so close that she could feel his breath on her face. She didn't shy away.
"When you leave, Karalynn, and trust me, you will leave." Roger said softly. "I'll still be here. Mimi will still be here. Collins will still be here. We're all gonna have to pick up the pieces, sooner or later. And if you go now, it will make it all that much more easier for us."
"That's enough." Mark said quietly.
Roger took a step back as the smaller man walked into the room, holding a bag of groceries.
He set it down on the table and walked towards Karalynn and Roger.
He took it as a bad sign when Karalynn didn't turn around.
"Karalynn, he didn't..."
Karalynn looked away. "It's fine I was just leaving anyway." she said shortly.
"Kara, Roger was..."
Karalynn looked at him and shrugged. "Look, Mark, it's fine." she said. "I have to go anyway. I just came to drop off your scarf."
But she barely glanced at him on her way out.
"You heard?" Roger said after Karalynn had slammed the door.
Mark looked at him strangely.
"Every word, Roger." Mark said quietly.
For a minute, Roger's shoulders drooped. And then his chest puffed out and he ran his fingers through his hair, as if trying to boost himself up.
"Look, Mark, everything I said was true." Roger said firmly. "She's no good for you."
"Why don't you let me make that decision?" Mark said. He stood so still he could have been a statue. "At least I know her. You never even gave her a chance."
"Why should I?" Roger exclaimed. "Why should I get to know her? I can spot a runner when I see one. Mark, I'm telling you, when something goes wrong, she's gonna go.."
"Leave me, like you did." Mark said. "Is this what it all comes down to, Rog? You think she's going to leave just because you did."
Roger stared at him. "Mark, you know I'll never forgive myself for that."
"Why don't you like her?" Mark asked. "Because she has more money than us? Because she wears better clothes? Or is it because she makes me so happy that you're jea..."
"Don't even go there!" Roger yelled. "That has nothing to do with...Look Mark. I'm trying to protect you. I left you, Maureen left you, Angel left Collins, even Mimi left me for Benny, everyone leaves! If you think your little fairytale romance with the rich girl is gonna last well, here's a newsflash- one day, you're gonna wake up and she'll be gone too!"
Mark's eyes burned with tears. "So that's what this is about." Mark said. His voice was harsh and cracked. "Your fears. Here's a newsflash for you, buddy. Kara isn't like one of the blank screens I use for my films. You can't project your mistakes or anyone else's mistakes on her. She's not perfect. She's only human but she will not lea..."
"How do you know!" Roger yelled at him. "You can't tell the fucking future!"
"Well I have to believe!" Mark finally yelled back. He held back a sob and felt his entire body explode with emotion. "I have to believe in something! I have to believe that having her in my life is good for me because ever since the moment I met her my life has changed for the best! You're too caught up in your fucking self to even notice it! I love her! And if you have even an ounce of feeling for me in your heart then you wouldn't be putting me through this! You wouldn't make me have to choose between you or her because she's never done that! I can't play referee! It isn't fair!"
Roger took a step back. He had never heard Mark yell at him like this before. They had gotten into fights before, sure. But the look on Mark's face was... maybe he had changed. Mark had never been able to show this much emotion. He was always detached and...
"I love her, Roger." Mark said softly. His hands, which had tightened up into fists, unclenched. His face softened and he took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "I'm not asking you to love her too. I'm asking you to give her a chance."
Roger sighed heavily and walked over to the couch, crashing down on it.
"It's that important to you?" Roger asked after awhile.
Mark put his glasses back on and shook his head. "Karalynn is that important to me." he said.
"Okay."
"Then she can come over without you breathing down her neck about.."
"Yes."
"And you won't call her a..."
"I said okay, Mark."
Mark let out the breath he was holding and grabbed the bag of groceries he had put down.
"I got us some..." he began but Roger interrupted him.
"Mark, don't you think you should..."
Mark looked up, confused and Roger pointed at the door.
"I pissed her off pretty bad." Roger said.
Mark flew to the door and Roger held back a laugh as he saw his small friend almost trip over his own legs.
Roger wriggled his key in the lock and it finally opened with a bit of effort.
"Damn rust." he muttered under breath. "It's not even winter anymore."
The gig had taken its toll on his body.
All he wanted to do was collapse into his bed and sleep for an hour until Mimi got home.
He walked into the loft and was surrounded by an eerie silence. He threw his keys on the table and looked around, half expecting Mark to be sleeping on the couch, or even on the floor. But the room was empty.
He shrugged to himself.
Probably off filming somewhere, he thought, walking to his room, Or sleeping at Karalynn's place.
He stopped when he saw Mark's door wide open. A slight movement caught his eye and he stepped quietly towards Mark's room.
For a moment, he blinked, not knowing what to say or do.
Mark lay sleeping on his side and Karalynn was right beside him. Mark's thick blanket, his only luxury besides his camera, covered them both but Roger could tell the two were both unclothed underneath. Mark lay on his side, one arm slung protectively around Karalynn's waist. His face was peaceful and happy and all Roger could do was stare in amazement at the change in his friend.
He remembered all the nights when he had woken up to hear Mark tossing and turning in his bed, mumbling, sometimes screaming, in a restless sleep. All the nights when he would walk over to Mark's room and watch his face twist up in fear and anguish as he dreamed his joyless dreams. And now he slept, calmly and serenely in Karalynn's arms.
She was awake and Roger almost stepped back but he watched, transfixed as she reached up, with one bare arm and gently touched Mark's face with her fingers. She traced the outline of his lips and then ran a finger down his cheek. Her gaze was reverential; adoring. Mark turned his face towards her, in his sleep and she smiled. She reached up again and began to play with his hair with her fingers.
Every movement conveyed kindness and gentleness.
She really does love him, he thought.
Roger suddenly felt ashamed- an emotion he wasn't used to feeling. His cheeks blushed as he remembered all the words he had flung at her the week before. He turned around as quietly as he could, realizing that he was invading their privacy, but instead stepped on a creaky board.
Shit, he thought, she probably heard that.
He turned around and saw her look up in surprise. Mark was still sleeping soundly and Roger noticed that Karalynn tried not to bother him as she covered herself with the blanket.
"I.. I'm sorry." he said as quietly as he could. There was no mistaking the anger in her eyes and for a moment, he felt his own anger rise up inside of him. Then he remembered that she had a right to be angry. "I was just walking to my room. Didn't mean to bother you."
Karalynn rolled her eyes and turned back to Mark. Roger meant to walk away but he stopped again.
"Karalynn?"
She looked up, annoyed that he hadn't left yet.
"I'm sorry about... all the things I said to you." he said. "I was wrong. Really wrong. You are good for him and you do love him. I was an asshole to say those things to you without giving you a chance."
Karalynn stared at him for a moment and then turned her eyes back to Mark. She was ignoring him and Roger sighed. He turned around again and headed towards his room.
"Roger."
He peeked back in Mark's room.
"Could you please close the door?" she asked.
"Sure."
He turned the knob so that it wouldn't make noise as it settled into the door frame. As he fell into his bed he realized that she had said please.
Karalynn closed her eyes and nestled her head against Mark's neck. She had almost fallen asleep when she felt his grasp on her tighten slightly.
"You know that must have been really hard for him." Mark said in a quiet, hoarse voice. She looked up at him and found that his eyes were still closed.
"Apologizing for Roger is almost as hard as it is for you."
"Almost." she said with a smile. Mark opened his sleepy eyes and smiled back at her.
"He's really sorry, Kara."
"I know." she said, closing her eyes again.
"Are you gonna forgive him?"
"I already did." she said, yawning. "I just didn't feel like getting out of bed."
"So you'll talk to him in the morning?" Mark said, feeling the pull of his eyelids growing heavy.
"Promise." He heard her say. He felt her lips on his cheek and he smiled as he drifted off into sleep once again.
The next morning Mark woke up to an empty bed. He felt a sudden wave of panic and then he heard laughter coming from outside.
He paused.
Karalynn and Roger's voice, though muffled, floated into his room and made him grin. He hastily threw on a shirt and a pair of jeans and scurried through the door, holding his glasses in one hand and combing his hair with the other.
"Hey what's so funny!?" he mock-demanded in a low voice. He slipped his glasses on and sat down on a chair next to Karalynn.
Karalynn and Roger looked up at him from their seats at the table. They had eaten breakfast - evidenced by the empty bowls of cereal in front of them. Karalynn wore Mark's sweater and her now wrinkled slacks and she had tied her hair back into a ponytail.
"Roger and I were talking about you and your camera." she said with a big grin.
Mark looked at Roger suspiciously.
"What did you say, Roger?" he asked, painfully aware of how whiney his voice sounded.
"I just told her how you handled your camera before and how it was almost like a masturbatory thing...."
Karalynn started to giggle again and then Roger joined in with his gruff laugh and Mark gave up.
He started to laugh too.
"Christ, I thought I wanted you guys to be friends." he muttered. "I think I liked it better the way it was before."
Roger reached over and ruffled Mark's hair playfully. "Aw come on, Mark." he said, winking at Karalynn. "It's not like I told her how you're like when you get drunk..."
Mark looked at Roger, his blue eyes wide with trepidation. "Roooger!"
Karalynn laughed and stood up. "While I would love to hear what Roger has to say, I really need to get home." she said. "I have to go through my notes for tomorrow's class."
She kissed the top of Mark's head and walked over to the couch, picking up her jacket. She turned around and blinked at Mark. "Uh, I tried looking for my shirt but apparently it got lost when... well, can I borrow your..."
"Go ahead." Mark said, blushing. "Are you coming over tonight? Or..."
She nodded and then waved at both of them, dancing out of their front door. Mark looked at the door longingly.
"Is she real?" he asked Roger, still staring at the door.
"Yes she is, Mark. And she is head over heels in love with you." Roger said, hitting him on the arm. "I was wrong about her. I'm sorry for doubting you."
Mark looked at Roger and waited as Roger struggled to go on. "I just didn't want to watch another Maureen... break you. And I've been a jerk to you too. I mean I ran away when you needed me the... I just... I didn't want to sit back and let someone else... but I think I know her a little now and... she's... well, she's ..."
"Different?" Mark offered. Roger nodded.
"I mean, she reminds me of me. Kinda tough but..."
"A big softie on the inside?" Mark said with a smile.
Roger glared at him and then smiled.
Slightly.
"I wasn't gonna say it like that." he said sarcastically. "Shit Cohen, you have a way with words."
Mark smiled and looked back at the door.
Roger looked at him and then laughed out loud. Mark looked at him, confused.
"What?"
"Is that what I look like when I'm waiting for Mimi to come home?" Roger asked. Mark grinned, reached over and picked up his camera still perched on its stand. He aimed it at his face and turned it on.
"Zoom in on Mark." he said. "Wearing the look Roger wears when he waits for Mimi to come home."
In the background, he heard Roger mutter, "Christ."
Mark grinned at the lens.
(Did I say it was gonna get better? Ack! I lied. I'm beginning to get bored with Karalynn now that she's softening up. I know how I want this to end but it's getting harder for me to get there.. oh well. I hope this chapter isn't flamed as hard as I suspect it will be. Any suggestions would be appreciated. R/R! Thanks!)
Ch. 4 Roger
A warm early summer breeze drifted into the loft and Mark looked up from his camera, enjoying the feel of it on his face.
He smiled to himself for a moment.
His life was almost perfect.
He had his friends.
He had Karalynn.
He had his camera.
A few companies had even called him back about some of his films. He didn't even remember sending most of them out- he had done it so long ago. But now they were calling and that was all that mattered.
Yup. His life was perfect.
Almost.
He heard the door open and Mark turned around to greet his girlfriend.
His heart stopped in his chest.
"Hey Roger." Mark said weakly. "You're home early."
The tall blonde man walked into the loft, holding his guitar case. He grinned up at Mark and set down the case.
"Hey Mark, what's going on?" Roger said. "Practice got out early. We have a gig tonight but I wanted to hang out with you before then." He pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards, with his arms up on the back. "I barely see you anymore. What's up?"
Mark gulped and put down his camera. He forced himself to smile.
For the past few months Mark had been working like a dog, trying to keep Karalynn away from Roger and vice versa.
It wasn't easy.
He spent his days at the loft and nights at Karalynn's apartment. Karalynn sometimes stopped by the loft during the day- strangely enough, the two had never run into each other.
Mark prayed she wouldn't stop by today.
He prayed that she would keep her summer class in for it's full four hours and fifty minutes.
"Nothing's up." Mark said. "My life's the same. Boring old Mark, as usual. You know, filming. Being boring...."
"You still with that stuck up bitch?" Roger asked.
Mark stared at him. "Roger, she's not a bitch." he said. "You never even gave her a cha..."
"Mark, I've been meaning to talk to you about her..."
"Mimi thinks she's nice." Mark interjected. "And you love Mimi, right? So if Mimi likes someone..."
"I don't like Carol."
"Her name is Karalynn."
"Did someone say my name?"
Mark whirled around, almost falling off of the table where he sat.
Karalynn walked in, smiling brightly.
"Hi Mark, I let my class out early and..." She stopped when she saw Roger. Her gray eyes flashed and her face grew hard. Karalynn and Roger stared at each other like two tigers in a cage, about to attack.
Just when Mark thought Roger was going to start yelling, he jumped to his feet and stomped off into his room, slamming the door so hard it shook on its frame.
"I see he's as charming as he was when we first met." Karalynn said sarcastically.
Mark hopped off the table and walked towards her, feeling better when he pulled her into his arms.
"Karalynn, the only reason why you guys don't get along is because...."
"We're sooooo alike." Karalynn mumbled. "Is that your only theory, Mark? I mean, how about he's a jerk? Or he's so hard headed that you could break a block of wood on his head?"
"He's my bestfriend." Mark said quietly, looking at her.
Karalynn sighed and tapped his chest with her finger. "No fair." she mumbled. "You know I always back down from a fight when you look at me like that."
"Like what?"
"Your eyes get all big and round and...." Karalynn laughed. "Stop doing that!"
Mark batted his eyes at her and leaned in closer. "Oh, you mean this?"
She laughed again and pushed him back gently. Mark reluctantly let her go.
"Mark, I'm going back on campus." she said, dangling her car keys. "I have to write the midterm for my undergrads."
Mark looked back at Roger's room. "I'll go hang out with Roger. He's right. I haven't been around that much. I miss him." he said honestly. He looked back at Karalynn. "Can I stop by later tonight, Dr. Demerin?"
Karalynn smiled at the title. She had finally earned her Ph.d back in May and the novelty of it still hadn't worn off. Mark knew it made her smile inside to hear him, or anyone else, say it.
"Mark, do you even have to ask anymore?" she said, suddenly serious.
Mark shrugged. "Well, yeah." he said. "I don't wanna assume..."
She kissed him briefly on the lips and walked towards the door. "Mark, it's okay to assume sometimes." she said as she walked out. "Just use your key."
Mark looked confused. "What key?" he asked just before she threw a bright, shiny object at him.
He caught it with one hand.
It was a key to her apartment.
He looked up at her in amazement.
She winked at him and then walked out the door.
Roger scratched his head as he walked out of his room. It was mid afternoon but he had no band practice today. He looked around the empty loft and saw a note on the table.
He read it out loud.
"Roger- went to the store. Groceries. Mark."
Roger chuckled to himself and opened the refrigerator. It was empty.
"Great timing, Mark." Roger muttered. He closed it and scratched his head again.
Mimi was at work.
Joanne was at work.
Mark was away.
And there was no way he was going to hang out with Maureen.
Or Benny.
He wondered what Collins was doing. He walked towards the phone and stopped when he heard footsteps coming up the stairs. He glanced up at the door when he heard the lock open.
"Oh God." Roger muttered.
Karalynn walked in and stopped when she saw him.
"Mark left his scarf at my place." she said simply. Roger looked down at the familiar blue and white cloth in her hands. "Just tell him I stopped by."
"He seems to be spending a lot of time at your place lately." Roger said.
Karalynn put the scarf down on the table and glanced up. "Yeah? You think so?" she said tersely. "What's that supposed to mean?"
"It means I barely see him anymore."
"That's not my fault." she said.
"Oh you don't think so?" he said sarcastically. He walked towards her menacingly but she didn't flinch. "Well guess where he's at most of the time?"
Karalynn stood up and folded her arms across her chest. She said nothing as she glared at him.
"Look, I know your type." Roger said. "I see you walk around with your head up high thinking you're better than everyone else. Don't think I don't remember what you said about Mark when I first met you...."
"Oh, you mean you're holding a grudge against me?" Karalynn spat out, her lips dripping with sarcasm. "How surprising, Roger! I didn't know you could hold grudges! You seemed like such a nice person..."
"You called him a fucking retard..."
"I barely knew him then!"
"That doesn't matter!" he yelled down at her.
"It fucking matters!" she yelled back. "It especially matters when you knew him for most of your adult life and you still ran out on him!"
Roger's blue eyes narrowed as he glowered at her. "You almost ran out on him too you know." he said coldly. "What? Surprised that I knew about that little stunt you almost pulled? Yeah, Mark told me. You almost left..."
"But I didn't." she said, her voice dropping. Her gray eyes darkened like storm clouds filled with rain.
And thunder.
And lightning.
"That honor goes to you, Roger." she hissed. "Right? Because you're the one who actually left!"
"Hey! That was last year and you have no idea what happened because you weren't there and..."
"Well, guess what, Roger- that doesn't matter." she yelled. "Because from what I hear- you were barely there for him either!"
"I'm here now!" Roger said.
Karalynn smiled bitterly. "Well so am I."
They stared at each other for a long time, each one waiting for the other to back down.
"You're not good enough for him, Karalynn." Roger said in a hoarse, quiet voice. "I know people like you. When the going gets tough, you get going. So right now things are good. Well that's just great for you and Mark. What happens when you find someone richer? Someone with a bunch of fucking letters after his name? Someone you think is better than Ma..."
"What the fuck are you talking about?" Karalynn snapped. "You have no right to..."
Roger walked up to her and stood so close that she could feel his breath on her face. She didn't shy away.
"When you leave, Karalynn, and trust me, you will leave." Roger said softly. "I'll still be here. Mimi will still be here. Collins will still be here. We're all gonna have to pick up the pieces, sooner or later. And if you go now, it will make it all that much more easier for us."
"That's enough." Mark said quietly.
Roger took a step back as the smaller man walked into the room, holding a bag of groceries.
He set it down on the table and walked towards Karalynn and Roger.
He took it as a bad sign when Karalynn didn't turn around.
"Karalynn, he didn't..."
Karalynn looked away. "It's fine I was just leaving anyway." she said shortly.
"Kara, Roger was..."
Karalynn looked at him and shrugged. "Look, Mark, it's fine." she said. "I have to go anyway. I just came to drop off your scarf."
But she barely glanced at him on her way out.
"You heard?" Roger said after Karalynn had slammed the door.
Mark looked at him strangely.
"Every word, Roger." Mark said quietly.
For a minute, Roger's shoulders drooped. And then his chest puffed out and he ran his fingers through his hair, as if trying to boost himself up.
"Look, Mark, everything I said was true." Roger said firmly. "She's no good for you."
"Why don't you let me make that decision?" Mark said. He stood so still he could have been a statue. "At least I know her. You never even gave her a chance."
"Why should I?" Roger exclaimed. "Why should I get to know her? I can spot a runner when I see one. Mark, I'm telling you, when something goes wrong, she's gonna go.."
"Leave me, like you did." Mark said. "Is this what it all comes down to, Rog? You think she's going to leave just because you did."
Roger stared at him. "Mark, you know I'll never forgive myself for that."
"Why don't you like her?" Mark asked. "Because she has more money than us? Because she wears better clothes? Or is it because she makes me so happy that you're jea..."
"Don't even go there!" Roger yelled. "That has nothing to do with...Look Mark. I'm trying to protect you. I left you, Maureen left you, Angel left Collins, even Mimi left me for Benny, everyone leaves! If you think your little fairytale romance with the rich girl is gonna last well, here's a newsflash- one day, you're gonna wake up and she'll be gone too!"
Mark's eyes burned with tears. "So that's what this is about." Mark said. His voice was harsh and cracked. "Your fears. Here's a newsflash for you, buddy. Kara isn't like one of the blank screens I use for my films. You can't project your mistakes or anyone else's mistakes on her. She's not perfect. She's only human but she will not lea..."
"How do you know!" Roger yelled at him. "You can't tell the fucking future!"
"Well I have to believe!" Mark finally yelled back. He held back a sob and felt his entire body explode with emotion. "I have to believe in something! I have to believe that having her in my life is good for me because ever since the moment I met her my life has changed for the best! You're too caught up in your fucking self to even notice it! I love her! And if you have even an ounce of feeling for me in your heart then you wouldn't be putting me through this! You wouldn't make me have to choose between you or her because she's never done that! I can't play referee! It isn't fair!"
Roger took a step back. He had never heard Mark yell at him like this before. They had gotten into fights before, sure. But the look on Mark's face was... maybe he had changed. Mark had never been able to show this much emotion. He was always detached and...
"I love her, Roger." Mark said softly. His hands, which had tightened up into fists, unclenched. His face softened and he took off his glasses to wipe his eyes. "I'm not asking you to love her too. I'm asking you to give her a chance."
Roger sighed heavily and walked over to the couch, crashing down on it.
"It's that important to you?" Roger asked after awhile.
Mark put his glasses back on and shook his head. "Karalynn is that important to me." he said.
"Okay."
"Then she can come over without you breathing down her neck about.."
"Yes."
"And you won't call her a..."
"I said okay, Mark."
Mark let out the breath he was holding and grabbed the bag of groceries he had put down.
"I got us some..." he began but Roger interrupted him.
"Mark, don't you think you should..."
Mark looked up, confused and Roger pointed at the door.
"I pissed her off pretty bad." Roger said.
Mark flew to the door and Roger held back a laugh as he saw his small friend almost trip over his own legs.
Roger wriggled his key in the lock and it finally opened with a bit of effort.
"Damn rust." he muttered under breath. "It's not even winter anymore."
The gig had taken its toll on his body.
All he wanted to do was collapse into his bed and sleep for an hour until Mimi got home.
He walked into the loft and was surrounded by an eerie silence. He threw his keys on the table and looked around, half expecting Mark to be sleeping on the couch, or even on the floor. But the room was empty.
He shrugged to himself.
Probably off filming somewhere, he thought, walking to his room, Or sleeping at Karalynn's place.
He stopped when he saw Mark's door wide open. A slight movement caught his eye and he stepped quietly towards Mark's room.
For a moment, he blinked, not knowing what to say or do.
Mark lay sleeping on his side and Karalynn was right beside him. Mark's thick blanket, his only luxury besides his camera, covered them both but Roger could tell the two were both unclothed underneath. Mark lay on his side, one arm slung protectively around Karalynn's waist. His face was peaceful and happy and all Roger could do was stare in amazement at the change in his friend.
He remembered all the nights when he had woken up to hear Mark tossing and turning in his bed, mumbling, sometimes screaming, in a restless sleep. All the nights when he would walk over to Mark's room and watch his face twist up in fear and anguish as he dreamed his joyless dreams. And now he slept, calmly and serenely in Karalynn's arms.
She was awake and Roger almost stepped back but he watched, transfixed as she reached up, with one bare arm and gently touched Mark's face with her fingers. She traced the outline of his lips and then ran a finger down his cheek. Her gaze was reverential; adoring. Mark turned his face towards her, in his sleep and she smiled. She reached up again and began to play with his hair with her fingers.
Every movement conveyed kindness and gentleness.
She really does love him, he thought.
Roger suddenly felt ashamed- an emotion he wasn't used to feeling. His cheeks blushed as he remembered all the words he had flung at her the week before. He turned around as quietly as he could, realizing that he was invading their privacy, but instead stepped on a creaky board.
Shit, he thought, she probably heard that.
He turned around and saw her look up in surprise. Mark was still sleeping soundly and Roger noticed that Karalynn tried not to bother him as she covered herself with the blanket.
"I.. I'm sorry." he said as quietly as he could. There was no mistaking the anger in her eyes and for a moment, he felt his own anger rise up inside of him. Then he remembered that she had a right to be angry. "I was just walking to my room. Didn't mean to bother you."
Karalynn rolled her eyes and turned back to Mark. Roger meant to walk away but he stopped again.
"Karalynn?"
She looked up, annoyed that he hadn't left yet.
"I'm sorry about... all the things I said to you." he said. "I was wrong. Really wrong. You are good for him and you do love him. I was an asshole to say those things to you without giving you a chance."
Karalynn stared at him for a moment and then turned her eyes back to Mark. She was ignoring him and Roger sighed. He turned around again and headed towards his room.
"Roger."
He peeked back in Mark's room.
"Could you please close the door?" she asked.
"Sure."
He turned the knob so that it wouldn't make noise as it settled into the door frame. As he fell into his bed he realized that she had said please.
Karalynn closed her eyes and nestled her head against Mark's neck. She had almost fallen asleep when she felt his grasp on her tighten slightly.
"You know that must have been really hard for him." Mark said in a quiet, hoarse voice. She looked up at him and found that his eyes were still closed.
"Apologizing for Roger is almost as hard as it is for you."
"Almost." she said with a smile. Mark opened his sleepy eyes and smiled back at her.
"He's really sorry, Kara."
"I know." she said, closing her eyes again.
"Are you gonna forgive him?"
"I already did." she said, yawning. "I just didn't feel like getting out of bed."
"So you'll talk to him in the morning?" Mark said, feeling the pull of his eyelids growing heavy.
"Promise." He heard her say. He felt her lips on his cheek and he smiled as he drifted off into sleep once again.
The next morning Mark woke up to an empty bed. He felt a sudden wave of panic and then he heard laughter coming from outside.
He paused.
Karalynn and Roger's voice, though muffled, floated into his room and made him grin. He hastily threw on a shirt and a pair of jeans and scurried through the door, holding his glasses in one hand and combing his hair with the other.
"Hey what's so funny!?" he mock-demanded in a low voice. He slipped his glasses on and sat down on a chair next to Karalynn.
Karalynn and Roger looked up at him from their seats at the table. They had eaten breakfast - evidenced by the empty bowls of cereal in front of them. Karalynn wore Mark's sweater and her now wrinkled slacks and she had tied her hair back into a ponytail.
"Roger and I were talking about you and your camera." she said with a big grin.
Mark looked at Roger suspiciously.
"What did you say, Roger?" he asked, painfully aware of how whiney his voice sounded.
"I just told her how you handled your camera before and how it was almost like a masturbatory thing...."
Karalynn started to giggle again and then Roger joined in with his gruff laugh and Mark gave up.
He started to laugh too.
"Christ, I thought I wanted you guys to be friends." he muttered. "I think I liked it better the way it was before."
Roger reached over and ruffled Mark's hair playfully. "Aw come on, Mark." he said, winking at Karalynn. "It's not like I told her how you're like when you get drunk..."
Mark looked at Roger, his blue eyes wide with trepidation. "Roooger!"
Karalynn laughed and stood up. "While I would love to hear what Roger has to say, I really need to get home." she said. "I have to go through my notes for tomorrow's class."
She kissed the top of Mark's head and walked over to the couch, picking up her jacket. She turned around and blinked at Mark. "Uh, I tried looking for my shirt but apparently it got lost when... well, can I borrow your..."
"Go ahead." Mark said, blushing. "Are you coming over tonight? Or..."
She nodded and then waved at both of them, dancing out of their front door. Mark looked at the door longingly.
"Is she real?" he asked Roger, still staring at the door.
"Yes she is, Mark. And she is head over heels in love with you." Roger said, hitting him on the arm. "I was wrong about her. I'm sorry for doubting you."
Mark looked at Roger and waited as Roger struggled to go on. "I just didn't want to watch another Maureen... break you. And I've been a jerk to you too. I mean I ran away when you needed me the... I just... I didn't want to sit back and let someone else... but I think I know her a little now and... she's... well, she's ..."
"Different?" Mark offered. Roger nodded.
"I mean, she reminds me of me. Kinda tough but..."
"A big softie on the inside?" Mark said with a smile.
Roger glared at him and then smiled.
Slightly.
"I wasn't gonna say it like that." he said sarcastically. "Shit Cohen, you have a way with words."
Mark smiled and looked back at the door.
Roger looked at him and then laughed out loud. Mark looked at him, confused.
"What?"
"Is that what I look like when I'm waiting for Mimi to come home?" Roger asked. Mark grinned, reached over and picked up his camera still perched on its stand. He aimed it at his face and turned it on.
"Zoom in on Mark." he said. "Wearing the look Roger wears when he waits for Mimi to come home."
In the background, he heard Roger mutter, "Christ."
Mark grinned at the lens.
