Disclaimer: Karalynn-mine. Everyone else- Jonathan Larson.
Okay this is the end. Well... maybe. I have an alternate ending all lined up. If anyone wants to check it out, just ask!
Anyway, hope this lives up to expectation. If not- well...there's always Plan B....*oooo suspense!*


Ch. 6- The Right Thing (Part 2)

Karalynn opened the door to the loft with her key and took a cautious step inside. It was dark and cold and she shivered as she closed the door behind her. It took her a few seconds of blinking to get accustomed to the dim early morning light. She buttoned up her coat and stuck her hands in her pockets while looking around.
"Mark?" she called out softly. She could see her breath fade into fog before her eyes. She shivered and walked further into the loft.
There was a light underneath the door of Mark's bedroom. She took a step forward and then stopped, hesitating.
Can I do this? she asked herself.
She looked around the loft and bit her lip, thinking.
After waiting for Karalynn to get herself cleaned up and dressed, Roger had practically shoved her out into the street and almost dragged her towards the loft before remembering she had a car.
The drive had been long and painful.
Roger had tried to tell her what to say and what to do when she finally saw Mark; it had been enough to make Karalynn finally allow someone to touch her precious cd player. He had filled her car with music from the one and only rock cd she owned and the volume had made her ears ring.
But it still wasn't enough to drown out the voices in her head.
What was Mark going to say?
What was Mark going to do?
What were they going to do?
Each stair she climbed was done so in agony and when Roger had disappeared behind Mimi's apartment door, she stood there staring at it for a long time.
And now, she was standing in front of Mark's closed door doing the same thing.
I could turn around right now, she thought.
I could just go home and....
And?
She had no answer.
Karalynn took a deep breath and pushed the door open.

Mark lay on his side, on his bed, hugging his camera. He stared mindlessly at the phone and the answering machine on the table in front of him. He had dragged both items into his room on the second day Karalynn stopped returning his calls, ignoring Roger's scream filled protests. His bed was covered with reels and reels of film- all of them containing images of Karalynn.
A week ago he could believe that it was a mistake- her not calling him back. He could fool himself into believing that she was in the shower or just running out the door or at work. But then two days turned into three and Mark had gone to her apartment. He remembered how he felt when he turned the key in the lock and it didn't work.
She had used the deadbolt.
She never used the deadbolt.
He had tried to reach her at work and even then she didn't pick up. Mark knew her schedule even better than he knew his own. He knew she was in. He knew she was ignoring him.
It was at that moment that breathing had become painful.
He had crept into bed after that day and had stayed in it since. He knew she wouldn't call him but he still had to hang on to something, anything, to keep sane.
His eyes hurt. They were swollen and raw from crying and his hand hurt from gripping Karalynn's key so tightly in the palm of his hand. But he wouldn't let it go. If he did then it would be true.
Karalynn didn't love him anymore.
Mark heard himself whimper. His eyes began to burn again as tears filled them.
She didn't love him anymore.
How could she?
He hadn't even heard from her in over a week.
What else was he supposed to believe?

"Mark?"
Oh God. He was hearing things now.
He shut his eyes, feeling his tears rip down the well worn path across his face.
No No No No No No
He felt someone sit on his bed. Then he felt a warm hand on the side of his face. He opened his eyes, looked up and drew back, startled.
Karalynn.
"Mark, I'm sorry." she said softly. He stared at her, his shiny blue eyes unbelieving.
"Kara?" he said. His throat hurt with the effort of talking. He hadn't spoken in days, even when Roger had screamed at him, or when Maureen had tried to drag him out of bed. He had ignored Mimi's pleas to eat and he couldn't even look Collins in the eye, much less speak to him.
"I'm sorry, Mark, about the past few days. I...." She lowered her eyes. "There's something I have to tell you."
He sat up, feeling dizzy for a moment.
It had been the first time he sat up in days.
He stared at Karalynn, his mind suddenly filling with a dozen thoughts and images. He thought about the feel of her lips on his, the way he felt when he held her, the sight of her eyes when she looked at him, the sound of her laughter when he tickled her.
They all flooded his mind and made him......
It made him think.....
"Who is he?" he asked lifelessly.
Her small face blanched and she stared at him, confused. Her hair was pinned back into a tight ponytail and her jacket looked two sizes too big. Her eyes seemed to take up half of her face and she looked younger than her twenty four years.
"What?"
Mark's heart tightened in his chest and he forced the words out. "Who is he, Karalynn?"
She frowned. "Mark, what are you talking about...."
She leaned forward to touch him again and he pushed her hand away.
"Who'd you leave me for?" he asked bitterly.
Karalynn stared at him, feeling the blood drain from her face. His blue eyes were watery and enraged. He had never looked at her like that before- he was so angry and hurt and it was all directed at her. His shoulders stuck out sharply from underneath his sweater and his cheeks looked gaunt.
Roger was right. He was doing badly.
"Mark, there's no one else." she said quietly. "How could you..."
"How could I? How could you?!" he suddenly yelled. "I've been cheated on before, you know! I know how this script plays out!"
Karalynn drew in a cold breath and closed her eyes briefly.
She couldn't believe what he was saying.
She almost laughed at how far off he was from the truth.
"Mark, I know you're angry at me and you have every right to be but I am not..."
"Then why'd you leave me?"
Karalynn blinked. "Mark, I didn't leave you... I just needed time to...I have to tell you something, Mark. I'm..."
"Yes you did!" he cried out. His thin chest hitched and he held back a sob. "You left me hanging for nine days. Nine fucking days! What did you expect me to think, Karalynn? I waited for you to come back. I waited for you to call me and tell me everything was okay! I waited to hear some stupid excuse. I waited for you even when I knew you weren't coming!"
He took off his glasses and covered his eyes with one hand. When he brought his eyes back to her face, Karalynn's heart sank. He looked so broken and so wounded; his features were stamped with anguish. This was her fault.
All she wanted to do was reach out to him and hold him. She wanted to be held by him, to be protected by him, to be loved by him. She wanted to be forgiven by him.
She wanted to be everything by him.
But he was miles away from her now.
"I'm not cheating on you, Mark." she said quietly. Her voice was cold and controlled. She drew herself up and forced herself not to explode. "I've never cheated on you. I would never do that. That has nothing to do with what I came here to say."
Tears slipped down his cheeks and he made no move to wipe them away.
"I trusted you." he said, his voice trembling. "I trusted you not to hurt me. I was wrong about you. Roger was right the first time."
Karalynn's head snapped back as if she had been hit. She stood up and walked away from his bed, turning her back on him.
"What exactly was Roger right about?" she asked quietly. She closed her eyes.
"He told me you were no good for me!" Mark said. He sobbed out loud. "He said that if I got too attached to you I'd end up... I'd end up getting hurt. Like I got hurt every time I loved someone."
"Mark, I am not cheating on you. I am not lying to you. And I am not leaving you."
"I've heard that before." Mark stood up and leaned on the table for support. His legs felt weak. "Believe me Karalynn, I've heard so many variations of those lines I could write a book. I remember the first time I called you. I heard a man's voice in the background... is that the guy?"
Karalynn opened her eyes and frowned. "What?"
"Don't lie to me!" Mark cried. "Was that him? You said it was the tv and..."
Recollection suddenly hit Karalynn and she spun around.
"It was the fucking television!" she screamed. "Dammit Mark, I had to retype the papers that got soaked in the snow when you bumped into me! I stayed up all night to do that and I just wanted to watch my goddam te..."
Mark stared at her. "But your voice sounded...."
"I was tired then, Mark." she said, becoming subdued again. "I'm tired now."
And she was.
She wanted to sit down, or better yet, lay down some where quiet and peaceful.
She just wanted to get this over with.
She just wanted to go.
"Look Mark, I'm sorry for everything." she said. She looked away, past him, at the wall. At his camera. At the phone. Anything to avoid his eyes. "I'm sorry for the last nine days. I'm sorry for hurting you. I'm sorry for..."
... being pregnant....
She sighed heavily. "I'm just sorry, Mark." she muttered out loud. She held up her hands for him to see. "If you want me to go, I'll go."
Mark could only stare at her.
She smiled weakly. "I love you." she whispered. Suddenly it was hard for her to find the strength to speak. She had never felt so weak before. "I don't think I say it enough. But I do. I love you. I made a mistake. I'm sorry. I guess I just needed time to gather up the courage to... I came here to explain why I... to tell you that..."
She looked at his anguished expression and felt defeated.
It was over. There was no point in explaining.
There was no point in sticking around.
She could see it in his eyes.
"But I can see that whatever I say to you now...."
His face was tight and tense. He was on the verge of crying again and she didn't think she could handle having to watch him break down. She looked into his eyes one last time and nodded.
"Okay Mark. You don't have to say it." she said softly. "I'll go."
She stuck her hands in her pockets again and walked out of his room.
She didn't look back as she walked across the loft towards the door.
I can do this, she thought as she closed the door behind her.
My father was a single parent.
I can be one too.
No emotions.
I feel nothing.
She paused before walking down the stairs.
A familiar sensation swept over her body.
She gritted her teeth.
Fuck.
It was morning.
Right on schedule.
She ran down the stairs and pounded on Mimi's door.
This time Roger was the one who opened it. He grinned at her, expecting the best.
"Hey, so how'd it...."
She shoved him to the side and ran towards the bathroom, barely making it before she fell to her knees in front of the toilet. Her stomach flipped and she gripped the sides of the bowl as she heaved the contents of her meager dinner out.
She couldn't help sobbing between interims.
She hadn't cried for years and now she felt as if she couldn't stop.
The world around her spun at a dizzying speed and she leaned forward, again and again and again, until nothing came up.
At last, she flushed the toilet with one heavy hand, wiping her mouth with the other.
What am I going to do? she thought frantically.
What will I do now?
What can I do now?
I.
Me.
By myself.
No Mark.
No one.
Panic overwhelmed her and she began to shake uncontrollably.
She bit her lip, willing herself to stop crying but her body refused to obey.
Tears blurred her eyes and she sat back, weeping against the cold wall.
She heard footsteps coming towards the bathroom and she drew her legs up to her chest and buried her face in her arms, turning away from the closed door.
"Karalynn!" Roger yelled, pounding on the door. "Open up!"
Oh hell, she thought.
"Roger, go away!" she mustered up enough strength to yell. "I don't wanna deal with your shit right now!"
The doorknob rattled as he tried to open the door.
"KARALYNN!" he screamed. "OPEN THE DOOR!"
She stood up and grabbed some toilet paper, wiping her face quickly. She tried to keep her shoulders steady and when Roger kicked the locked door down, she ran past him.
"You didn't tell him?!"
"Fuck off!"
"Karalynn, come back here!" he yelled but she ignored him. She sped down the rest of the stairs, skipping two and three steps at a time and flew out of the front door on unsteady legs. He tried to run after her but by the time he got down to the street, Karalynn was gone.
"Fuck!" Roger screamed out in frustration. He tore back up the stairs to the loft and stomped into Mark's bedroom.
"Get up." Roger commanded.
Mark was on his bed. His head was buried in his arms.
"Go away." Mark said. His voice was muffled.
"Dammit Mark..." Roger mumbled. He reached forward and dragged the smaller man out of his bed.
Mark landed on the floor with a thud and he sat up, blinking up at Roger with swollen, surprised eyes. Mark glared at him and then scrambled back to his feet, determined to get back on his bed.
"Oh no you don't." Roger said. He grabbed Mark by his shoulders and forced him to look at him. "You are going to get your ass together and you are going to run after your girlfriend..."
"She's not my girlfriend anymore!" Mark screamed, struggling to free himself from Roger's tight grasp but Roger only tightened his grip. "She left me!"
"No she didn't! Goddamn it Mark!" Roger cried out. "She's..."
"Yes she did!"
"... PREGNANT!"
Mark's mouth closed shut and his blue eyes grew darker. Roger finally released his death grip on him and Mark stumbled back, his body stunned at the sudden freedom.
"You heard me, Mark." Roger said, his voice dropping. "That's what she came here to say."
"Is... is it mine?" Mark asked. He felt as if the breath had been knocked out of him. He struggled to take in a deep breath.
Roger stared at him, incredulous. "No shit, Mark! Of course it's yours! Do you think she'd cheat on you?!" he cried out. "Run after her, Mark! Before she does something insane! You're the one who's always saying we're so fucking alike- I know what I'd do if I was in her shoes... but you know her better! What do you think she'd do?!"
Mark's breath was ragged and his throat hurt.
"She's pregnant?" he asked again. His head felt light and he looked around, confused. "It's mine? She's pregnant with my..."
"You heard me the first time!" Roger yelled. "Don't make the same mistake I did, Mark! Don't push her away like I..." He ran his fingers through his hair and forced himself to calm down.
"Okay Mark. No more babying you around." he said. "If you really think Karalynn's going to leave you, if you really believe she's cheating on you then go back to bed. If she's not worth running after then don't go after her. I can't make you do the right thing. I can't run your goddamn life for you."
Roger was about to open his mouth to go on but the look on Mark's face made him stop.
Mark wiped the tears from his cheeks with the sleeve of his sweater and then turned around to get his camera. When Mark turned around to face him again, Roger knew exactly what he was thinking.
The two bestfriends needed only to look at each other to communicate. Words, feelings, thoughts flew through the space between them and Roger knew everything Mark wanted to say.
Roger breathed a sigh of relief.
He reached up and straightened the other man's glasses on his face. The silence between them was comfortable now and Roger knew Mark needed the quiet to compose himself. Slowly, Mark straightened up and brought his eyes up to Roger's gaze.
Mark smiled at him and Roger smiled back.
"No more crying, Mark." Roger said quietly. "My bike is still downstairs. It's a little rusty but it'll work. You'll need it. She drives like a fucking racecar driver."
He stepped aside and Mark looked at him gratefully. With his camera in his hands he ran past his friend and when Roger heard the door slam shut, he jumped on Mark's bed and closed his eyes.
Shit, he thought, those kids.
What would they do without me?


Her door was open.
Mark took a moment to shake off the pain in his calves and ran a cold hand through his dirty hair. His heart was pounding in his chest, from both the hurried bike ride and the thought of Karalynn.
Pregnant, she's pregnant Karalynn is pregnant she's preg-
Mark shook his head, trying to clear his mind.
He had thought about what he was going to say to her over and over in his mind, practicing the words silently as he sped past the people who were heading towards work.
He gripped his camera so tightly, it creaked in his hand.
He pushed the door further in and walked inside.
The living room was lit by the morning light and it looked surreal. It was all too bright and friendly. He walked further inside, taking pictures of the room with his mind. Karalynn's bedroom door was wide open and he could hear noises coming from inside.
He glanced into the bathroom.
Her sink was empty.
Her toothbrush was missing.
Everything that had been on the counter was gone.
He walked quietly to her room and stood at the doorway, watching her.
He could barely breathe.
She was frantically packing her clothes into two large suitcases that lay flat on her bed. His eyes studied her, from the way her long black hair moved down her back as she walked back and forth between the closet and bed, to the graceful movements of her white, delicate hands. The jacket she had worn that morning was cast aside and he studied her body. Her stomach was still flat and she looked haggard; exhausted, but her movements were quick and sure.
She didn't look pregnant.
Not yet, at least.
Her pale cheeks glistened with tears. He watched as she wiped her face with the back of her hand, not missing a step.
She's crying, he thought stunned.
He had never seen her cry before.
She suddenly stopped and for a moment Mark thought she knew he was watching her. But instead of turning to look at him, she held both hands up to her face and her shoulders moved up and down with noiseless sobs.
"Oh God." she muttered outloud into her hands. "I don't know..."
She stood still, with her face covered and Mark couldn't stand it anymore.
He couldn't watch her cry.
"Karalynn?" he spoke up, walking towards her. Her head jerked up and she took a step back away from him, looking startled. She hastily wiped her cheeks again and sniffed.
"What do you want, Mark?" she asked. Her voice was thick with tears but her face had composed itself into a hard expression. "What'd you come here for? Are you going to accuse me of cheating again? Of leaving you?"
"No, I...."
"Well, this time you're right on target." she said bitterly. She grabbed a bright red sweater he had never seen her wear before and threw it into a suitcase. "I'm leaving."
He shook his head. "Where are you going?"
"Anywhere. Does it matter?" she asked. She shot him a hostile look. "I thought we were done talking. I guess I'm proving Roger right. His first assumption of me anyway. You can tell him he was right all along."
"Roger doesn't think that of you anymore. You know that." Mark said softly. "He's the one who told me to run after you."
Karalynn stopped packing and glared at him. Her gray eyes were red rimmed and outraged.
"If that's the only reason you came here Mark, then I suggest you turn right around and go home. There's nothing here for you any..."
"There's everything for me here." Mark said firmly. "There's you. You're here."
Karalynn looked away and then walked towards her closet. She grabbed two more shirts from the rack and practically tore them from their hangers. Mark watched as she threw them into her suitcase and slammed it shut.
"Don't go, Karalynn." he said quietly. She looked up at him, her face annoyed.
"Just leave me alone!" she screamed. She ran her fingers through her tangled hair again and glared at him. "You made it perfectly clear that you don't trust me. You never did, did you? I asked you once what I was to you and you never told me. Well, now I know. I'm just another actress in some little film you think is your life!"
"That's not true..." Mark began but Karalynn threw a hanger at his feet and he jumped back, looking up, alarmed.
"Just get out!" she yelled. "Just let me go! Just go, Mark! Leave me alone and you can go live your life however you want it!"
Her voice was angry and cruel but Mark could read her eyes as easily as he could a book. He knew her now, he had studied her eyes countless times. His mind had been clouded by doubt and fear and insecurity before but now, as he stood staring at her, his vision was clear. His mind was clear.
Her eyes told him she was scared.
Terrified.
She looked away suddenly, realizing how intently he was staring at her.
"Don't look at me like that." she mumbled, throwing another shirt into the other bag. "You always freak me out when you look at me like that. It's like you're..."
"Reading your mind." Mark finished for her. She looked up, startled and then shook her head.
"Whatever, Mark."
"You can't leave."
"Oh yeah? Watch me."
"No, you can't."
"Try and stop me."
"You can't leave."
"I can't stay!"
"You're carrying our baby."
She froze in the middle of reaching for another hanger. She slowly turned her head towards him and stared. And then her eyes grew shiny with tears and her shoulders drooped. Karalynn's face crumbled and she fell to her knees, sobbing. Mark had never seen her cry before this day, much less wail, and he felt surprised at how much of his movements were guided by instinct. He kneeled down beside her, putting his camera down and took her in his arms. At first she resisted, trying to pull away and cover her face but he didn't let go. She cried so hard that each sob shook her body and he felt his sweater grew damp with her tears. He held on to her so tightly that he was afraid he would break her but he couldn't let go.
He wouldn't.
He didn't want to.
He rubbed her back soothingly and after a few minutes, she grew calm. Every few moments, her body would hitch but he would rock her slowly until she seemed to soften in his arms.
For what seemed like an eternity of time, he held her, closing his eyes and drinking her in.
"I'm so sorry, Mark." she said after awhile. "I fucked up."
"Shhh. Don't say that." he said, stroking her hair. "You have nothing to be sorry about."
"I have everything to be sorry about." she said. He felt her body clench up and he rubbed her back, trying to soothe her again. "Just let me go. You don't have to worry about this, Mark. I'm so sorry. I never, ever meant for this to happen. I'm so sorry....Just let me go. Please."
"Do you..." He had to force himself to push the words out. "Are you going to keep.. it? Him or her? Or.."
"I want to." she said simply. She looked up at him and her eyes were misty and clouded over. "Do you..?"
"Yes, of course." he said with a smile. And then he paused.
"Kara, all those things I said.. in my room... I didn't mean them. I was just... I thought..."
"You were scared." she said quietly.
"Yeah. I was."
"I was scared too. I thought I was going to lose..."
"Do you love me?" he asked suddenly. She pulled away from him and looked directly into his eyes.
"I love you so much, Mark." she said sincerely. "It's ridiculous to love someone this much."
He grinned at her and tugged at her sleeve. "I love you too, Karalynn. That's why you have to stay. We had this talk already, didn't we? I probably have it on film somewhere. We can do this. Hell, I'll even get a real job if you want. We'll have an endless supply of babysitters...."
"It's not going to be easy, Mark." she said quietly.
"Nothing ever is." he replied, pulling her close. She seemed like a child as she slid back in his arms and he kissed the top of her head. "Tell me you'll stay, Kara."
"I'm scared."
"So am I. But I want you to stay. "
"This is going to change everything, Mark."
"I know. But you have to stay."
"What if..."
"Kara, you're staying!" he said, exasperated.
She laughed and twisted around in his arms to look up at him. "Did I mention I was staying?"
He grinned back and kissed her forehead gently. "Good."
He leaned back and grabbed his camera with one hand, flicking it on in one smooth movement. He brought it up in front of them.
"November 18th. Nine o'clock, standard eastern time. Starting today, I'll be chronicling the pregnancy of my future son or daughter."
Karalynn laughed and Mark brought the camera up to his eye as she scooted away from him.
"Focus in on the mother of my child. My child. I'm going to be a father, everyone. And Maureen claimed I had weak sperm..."
Karalynn laughed again, and then crossed her arms across her chest, giving him a faux scowl.
"Mark Cohen, you better not follow me around with that thing for the next nine months."
"Isn't she a sweetheart, folks? Isn't her glare the most beautiful thing you've ever seen? If this is how she is at the start of her pregnancy, imagine what she'd be like by the end!"
Karalynn put her hand over the lens and Mark lowered the camera, smiling at her. He turned it off and then stood up, helping her up to her feet as well.
"I guess you're right." he said. "I shouldn't be filming right now. I should be helping you unpack."
She stared at him as he pulled one shirt out of her suitcase and walked over to the closet, putting it back on a hanger. He looked back at her. "You know this would go faster if you helped." he teased.
"Mark, what are we going to do after this." she asked, seriously. "Where are we gonna live? What are we..."
He pulled another shirt out of her suitcase and handed it to her. "Let's get you unpacked first." he said. "We can talk about it then." He noticed the worried look on her face and pulled her against him again, kissing her softly on the lips.
"Hey, no worries, Kara." he said when they pulled apart. "Whatever happens from now on, we'll be together. Everything will be okay. I promise."
And he knew it was true.
She finally gave him the smile he was waiting for and she pulled away, holding the shirt he had handed her up. "Guess I won't be fitting into this in a few months."
"I don't think you'll be fitting into the doorway in a few months."
The next thing Mark knew, the shirt was over his head and he could hear her laughing so hard and so sweetly that he imagined their baby was laughing too.


Epilogue: My World

I watch Karalynn through the lens of my camera open the second gift. The thick, gold edged book of fairy tales from Collins, lays on the table in front of her. The box Karalynn holds is from Roger and Mimi and she cries out with joy as she pulls out a tiny blue baby nightgown with a matching blanket.
"Oh Mimi! Roger!" she exclaims. "Thank you guys so much!" She leans forward and with a bit of difficulty, manages to hug Roger, and then Mimi with one arm. Her protruding stomach still proves to be an obstacle for her but in a week or so, it will be all but gone.
She picks up the baby outfit and waves it at me. "Look, Mark." Her cheeks are pink; full and flushed and her eyes dance in the sunlight. She looks so beautiful and so happy, I feel my breath catch in my throat. I put down my camera a bit and smile at her.
"Blue. Great color for a boy." I say. "Thanks Roger. Thanks Mimi."
We are having a boy.
A boy.
We're naming it Nicholas, after Karalynn's father.
Mimi smiles back and waves me over. "Come on, Mark. Put down that camera and sit down with your fiance!" she exclaims. "This is your baby shower too, you know."
Karalynn looks up and winks at me, waving her hand at me. The ring I gave her the night I proposed sparkles in a thin line of sunlight.
When I told my mother about Kara, she balked at the thought of her only son not marrying "a nice Jewish girl."
And then she saw Karalynn.
Now I'm guessing that my mother already has plans to enter our baby into beauty pagents as soon as he's born.
I set my old camera down on it's tripod and walk over to the couch where Karalynn sits. Collins makes room for me to sit down next to her and she slips her hand in mine, almost like a reflex action.
We are back in the loft- Roger and Mimi's loft now to be exact. I moved in with Karalynn soon after I found out she was pregnant.
I'm still amazed at how my world has changed so much in such a short period of time. A few months ago, an indie film company picked up two of my films- the older one Today 4 U and a new documentary about street artists. Okay, so I'm not famous ("yet" as Karalynn always corrects me) but I do have a decent underground fan base. It's given me enough money to start up a nice savings account.
Guess I never did have to get a real job.
I look around at everyone as they look on at Karalynn, opening her next gift.
"It's from us!" Maureen says, jumping up and down in her seat. She looks excited, as if she is the one opening the gifts.
Well, that's Maureen for you.
Pure, unbridled emotion.
Karalynn stares at the wrapped object in front of her.
It is shaped like a huge teddy bear, with the ears perfectly outlined in wrapping paper.
"Gee. I. Wonder. What. It. Is." Karalynn says, slowly. She rolls her eyes but her lips twist up in a smile.
"I told you we should have put it in a box." Joanne mumbles and Maureen throws her a semi-mean glare. Still together, after all this time. Fighting and viciously in love. But they're happy- even though they break up every other month.
Mimi giggles and Roger puts his arm around her, smiling at me.
I know what he's feeling.
Contentment.
Happiness.
Joy.
They're both still healthy and so far, life is going smoothly. We all know this could change at any moment but for now, we're all just letting ourselves be happy. As Roger once said to Karalynn, we should cherish the moments that make us happy.
I have no idea when Roger got so deep but I plan to take his advice.
Mimi finally quit her job at the club (to Roger's utter joy) and went back to school at the community college near by. She even got a job there a few weeks ago. Karalynn's been tutoring her while she's on pregnancy leave from work. With her help, Mimi is whizzing through her courses like a demon. I listen to them study in our apartment sometimes, while I pretend to be tinkering with my camera. Sometimes I get lost in her voice, in the soft, patient modulated tones of her words.
Impending motherhood has given Karalynn increased kindness and sweetened her temperament- but not by too much.
Last night she almost bit my head off for finishing her Rocky Road ice cream and not buying more.
Oh well.
Karalynn rips off the wrapping paper and pulls out a bright blue teddy bear with a white bow around its neck. I laugh as she hugs it and kisses it on the nose.
"Nicholas is gonna have to grow into this." Karalynn winks at me and kisses my cheek. She beams at Maureen and Joanne. "Thank you. Both of you. It's adorable."
Collins hands her another box. "This one's from Benny."
"Is he still in Seattle?" she asks, putting the box on her lap.
"Yup. Alison's definitely got him on a tight chain now." Collins says, his eyes twinkling mischievously. Ever since Alison caught him kissing another woman at work and threatened to divorce him, he's had to do everything she tells him to do. He even moved to Seattle, under the guise of a job in one of her father's companies there, to please her.
But he still calls every now and then, asking about all of us, especially about the baby.
He may be a prick sometimes, but he's still got a good soul.
Behind the cash register that is his heart.
Karalynn lifts off the top of the box and gasps. I leaned in to see what she's looking and feel a jolt of surprise too. Inside is a new hand held camcorder. Top of the line.
Karalynn opens the card that came with it and reads it out loud.
"To the gorgeous mother to be (and her lucky fiance- are you sure it's MARK's baby?!),
Here's a little something I felt might come in handy when Mark's ratty ass camera finally falls apart. I hope everything you capture on film with this thing is filled with only joy, love and happiness. Both of you (or should I say the three of you) deserve the best.
Best wishes,
Benny."
Karalynn looks up with tears in her eyes and puts the card down. "He's not such a bad guy." she says after a moment.
And then she sniffs.
Hormones.
I look at Roger and he smiles back, knowingly.
"This coming from the woman who threatened to kick my ass." Roger says. "I still remember that day too! You pushed me..."
"Roger don't you dare go there..."
"Aw come on, Kara, let him tell us!" Maureen cries out.
I smile as I listen to them go on. The words blur into a river of comfort around me and I just sit there, taking it all in, letting it wash me clean. My friends, my family, my life- past, present, and future are all contained within these people. I used to long for a community of my own. I used to think I was all alone- the outsider, the observer; always on the outside looking in. But now I know that I was never really alone. I had my friends; the people who would fight for me, fight with me, love me and protect me.
Everything I ever needed, everything I would ever need is here. In the smiles and laughter of my friends. In the eyes of the woman I love.
In my future son within her body.
Angel would have been proud of this moment. She was probably here now, watching over us and laughing at Karalynn and Roger bicker.
This is my world and these people are my eight wonders. Roger, Collins, Mimi, Maureen, Joanne, Angel, even Benny and especially Karalynn.
My hand wanders from Karalynn's hand and travels up to her stomach. She is listening to something Collins is saying and I lay my palm on top of her belly.
He is in there.
Nicholas.
My son.
The ninth wonder of my world.