What Happens When You Let Jess-chan Direct an Episode of Pokémon
By none other than the insane, donut-crazed weirdo herself, Jess-chan!

It was a rainy day in Pallet Town and Ash stared out his bedroom window.

Ash: Boy, the weather sure is cruddy today, huh, Pikachu?
Pikachu: ...
Ash: Pikachu..?
Pikachu: ...
Ash: *turns around only to see Pikachu sitting on the floor, half-dead, it's tail in an electrical socket* THAT'S NOT NATURAL!
Brock: *walks into Ash's room. his hair is green and his skin is blue* I. am. Blue. Brock. Bow. Down. To. Me. Now. Puny. Mortal.
Ash: O_o;; O..k..
Misty: *prances in singing 'Like a Virgin'*
Ash: Ok, how much sugar did the author have today?
Author: None of your buisness, buttmonkey.
Ash: O I'M NOT A BUTTMONKEY!
Author: Yes you are. Not you must be punished for raising your voice to me! *sends a herd of wild, rabid Scyther to attack him*
Ash: WHY MEEE?! OWIE!
Scyther: *wind up just ripping all Ash's clothes to shreds then fly away*
Ash: I'M NAAAAKED!!!
Author: Are you sorry?
Ash: No.
Author: Fine then. *sends an army of evil Pitas to attack Ash*
Army of Pitas: Must. Kill. Ash. *slap him repeatedly*
Ash: Owwww...
Author: Are you sorry?
Ash: No.
Author: *tosses Megaman into the story*
Megaman: The heck?!
Ash: Oh crud.
Megaman: NAKED MAN! *fires his buster gun at Ash a few million times then flies away singing 'The Cow Song'*
Ash: I'm naked, bruised, and bustered...and I'm NOT sorry.
Author: Stubborn, are we?
Ash: Very.

Suddenly, a navy blue Mew flew in and handed the author a note.

Author: Thank you, Midnight.
Midnight: Mew! ^_^
Author: *reads note, curses loudly*
Ash: Uh-oh..
Author: Ranma and Akane are coming and Ryouga wants to marry you, Ashy-boy.
Ash: Who's Ryouga? And how'd you know my real na-I mean my nickname is Ashy-boy?
Author: It's a gift. And Ryouga is..
Ryouga: *flies in, lands on Ash's head* ..Right here, my sweet!
Ash: Crud!
Ranma: *jumps into the window* NO! RYOUGA, HE'S MINE!
Akane: AKANE NO LIKE ASHY-BOY! HIIIIYAAH! *kicks Ash in the gut*
Ash: *gasps from the kick* CRUD!
Blue Brock: Blue. Brock. Like. Akane. Akane. Marry. Blue. Brock.
Akane: Dude, Blue Brock is HOT!
Blue Brock and Akane: *go get married*
The REAL Brock: *walks in holding an inflatable Pikachu* Here, Ash! For you, my sweet!
Author: THAT'S NOT IN MY SCRIPT! THAT'S SUPPOSED TO BE A MEW AND YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE FOR ME!!
The REAL Brock: BUZZ OFF, AUTHOR!
Author: THAT'S IT! POKéMON, CODE #34837!

An army of multi-colored Mew come and attack the cast.

Cast: AAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!
Army of Mew: *fly back to the author, get treats, go back to their igloos*
Ryouga: *flies home* YOU WILL PAAAAY!
Ranma: *flies after him* Ryouga, I love yooou!
Akane: *grabs Blue Brock's hand, the two fly to Africa where they get married and have a child named Katherine.
Ash: *just stands there, in the middle of him room, naked*
The REAL Brock: Ash, I still love you.
Ash: @#$% off, Brock.
The REAL Brock: ;.;..
Author: I still love you, Brocky...
The REAL Brock: @#$% off, author.
Author: I hate you all.
Misty: Am I still singing?
Author: No. You're making out with Ash nd Ash is enjoying it.
Misty: Ok. *makes out with Ash*
Ash: ^__________^
The REAL Brock: Ok, you REALLY scare me.
Author: It's my job.
The REAL Brock: You do your job so very very well.
Author: n.n So I've noticed. *gasps* I FORGOT TEAM ROCKET! *tosses in Team Rocket*
James: *eating donuts*
Jessie: *making out with Ewan McGregor*
Meowth: *hitting on Nicole Kidman*
Author: Hold on, SOMEBODY screwed up my script!
Ewan: *pulls out of the make out session* Wasn't me! *whimper* Help!
Jessie: *pulls him back in*
Author: *twitch* JESSIE! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE MAKING OUT WITH JAMES, I'M SUPPOSED TO HAVE THE DONUTS AND MEOWTH IS SUPPOSED TO BE HITTING ON MY MEW, NICOLE!! GOD, PEOPLE!
Meowth: But I don' want yer stupid Mew! *smiles at Nicole* I want YOOOOU!
Nicole: ;.; Help...
Author: STOP HARASSING THE CELEBRITIES! I COULD GET SUED FOR THIS!
Ewan and Nicole: OH, YOU'LL BE HEARING FROM OUR LAWYERS!
Author: Nuu...!
James: These donuts are good! n.n
Author: *snatches the donuts* Gimme. ; *grabs Ewan*
Ewan: THANK YOU!
Author: *grabs Nicole*
Nicole: THANK YOU!
Author: NOW GET THE SCRIPT RIGHT!
TR: Ok.
Jessie and James: *make out*
Author: *tosses in her orange Mew, Nicole*
Meowth: Oh, yeah, this is what I'm talkin' 'bout!
Nicole(The Mew): Mew Meeew... (Why meee...) ;.;
Author: Ewan, Nicole, you can-HOLY HELL!
Ewan and Nicole: *making out*
Author: I pray to GOD that the tabloids ain't here...
Tabloid people: *watched every bit*
Author: THAT'S IT! I'M LISTENING TO MY MOM AND BECOMING A CASHIER AT PATHMARK!!! *leaves*
Everyone: *stops* At least we got her out. *wink*

~~~The End~~~
AN: Was this too stupid? Thought so. Only people who saw the movie 'Moulin Rouge' would understand half the crap in this. So go and see it. It's a great movie. I'm just a walking ad for the film. Anyway, please R+R. Flames are welcomed with open arms and a trash bag. Thanks.
~Jess-chan