To see you smile

By: Fallon-chan

______________________________________________________________________________

AN: Here's the next chapter. Sorry if the prologue was rather boring and dragged on. That's just me, you know. Hopefully this chapter will be much better. Once again this is for Starchick. Although I don't know why she threatened me you know. *LOL* Hope you enjoy this one as well, girl.

Disclaimers: Clamp owns everything. Plain and simple. Good enough for you greedy, money hungry people?

______________________________________________________________________________

Chapter One: The Princess's Tears

The Daidouji mansion was in the middle of chaos. Almost everyone was involved. Sonomi, Tomoyo's bodyguards, and the maids were dancing to a hectic beat. One they could have done without because it seemed none of them knew the steps. They ran down the stairs and back up again only to remember they had forgotten this or need that instead.

The peaceful home was turned upside down. Everything was out of place and everyone as well. Not you're typical day there. Not at all, but it was needed. Tomoyo plane left in three hours and she still wasn't ready to go.

Her bags were not pack and her suitcases were left unclosed while clothes were pulled from and thrown in it. Tomoyo's room was perhaps the biggest mess of all. The usual clean and tidy room was a mess plain and simple, Tomoyo did not like it one bit.

Instead of packing like she should she simply gather strung garments off the floor and placed them were they went. She ignored the process of her traveling and allowed everyone else to worry for her. Hoping and praying she would miss the plane.

"Tomoyo do hurry, you haven't all day you now!" Her mother would shout now and then as she went through Tomoyo's closet since Tomoyo herself wouldn't.

In Tomoyo's heart, deep down she refused to leave home. Everything she loved and cared for was right there in Tomoeda. What was there for her in England? Nothing but pushy, bossy businessmen and women looking to make a profit. That was not her world and she did not want to be part of it.

Tomoyo's world was of chorus practice that usually ended in giggling fits. It was listening to Yamazaki-kun tell stories and watch the looks of the naive Sakura and Syaoran as they believed them. Her days were filled with taping Sakura-chan and all the other girls at cheerleading practice. Her day was not complete without walking to school and actually living the day instead of wishing it would just pass her by. Tomoyo's day was nothing without her smile.

Tomoyo felt the pain in heart again. It came often, though she wished it wouldn't. How much it hurt and how little she did for it. Not that there was anything she could do for it. She smiled bitterly as she watched her mother close one suitcase with much difficulty. Was there a cure for heartache? Apparently not, she thought. If there were, wouldn't her mother have cured herself along time ago?

How nice it would be though. To never have to feel her pain again. Sometimes it was so hard to pretend she was happy and the look in her eyes wasn't of a suffering girl. How much control it took not to cry when she saw them together. That confused her so. Because she knew if she cried, it would be a mixture of tears of joy and tears of sorrow. If she ever allowed herself to cry real tears instead of the dry ones she had come to know and hate, she would laugh.

She was happy for Sakura. Truly she was. Sakura was happy and Sakura's happiness was Tomoyo's happiness. It had always been. From the moment they meet whenever Sakura was pleased, so was she. Whenever Sakura was upset so was Tomoyo, and this is how it had always been. Tomoyo's feelings and emotion relied on Sakura. She needed her in so many ways. Many ways that could not be fulfilled.

Yet, was it right to rely on her best friend's happiness to be happy herself. It must not be. She knew this whether she chose to believe it or not. Sakura's joy was no longer her own, but her sorrow. She was hurting because Sakura was happy with Syaoran.

She often thought of herself as an awful person and hoped neither of the two would learn of her true feelings. In the end, if they did she might lose them both. The very thought tore her up. She loved Sakura and Syaoran very much. They were her best friends. They were what she lived for. The two of them were what she got up for in the morning with their hope that the world wasn't a terrible place after all.

Sakura and Syaoran had gone through so much and for so long. They deserved each other. Tomoyo knew this and was proud of them for realizing their love for each other even if she was only looking in once again. But this was how things were meant to be, Tomoyo told her stubborn heart. Yes, this was truly how things were suppose to be and how they would stay no matter how much it killed her daily.

Perhaps England won't be that bad, Tomoyo thought looking on the brighter side of things. There were after all, many places worse to be even if she would be going alone. At the thought of being all alone in a foreign country, Tomoyo smiled happily to herself. Part of the deal that had been made with her mother was if she were going to England to sort out the mess, she would do it her way. Whatever she did was her own decision and her mother would respect whatever she had to say and the out come afterwards. This meant no bodyguards. Although she loved the women dearly, it was quite impossible for others to deal with them constantly being around her. Poor Sakura-chan was still intimidate by them after all these years, and Tomoyo could only imagine what the Americans and French would think if they were with her at all times as her mother had insisted.

Tomoyo hummed a happy tune thinking of what she would do with the freedom, and all the cute things she could buy for Sakura (and perhaps Syaoran if she was feeling evil enough) while she was there. As well as the room service she would have. If she was going to do this she might as well go all out. Peach ice cream every night before she had dinner, something she had always wanted to try. Kero-chan seemed to enjoy dessert before dinner but then again Kero-chan liked sweets at all hours.

So Tomoyo went to packing like a good girl. There was no sense in making her mother even more irritated then she was already, though it was rather amusing to watch her mother fume so. Tomoyo snickered at the thought. Before long, Tomoyo was packed and on her way to the airport all the while telling herself everything would be fine and she would have a lovely time.

"Then why do I feel like crying, is it because I will be alone?" Tomoyo asked herself softly and quickly thought of all the art museums she would visit. But even this brought back memories of Sakura. They had once caught a Clow Card in a museum. It had been rather annoying seeing how the card kept throwing them outside every time they made a noise. In the end Sakura-chan had used the Shadow Card and captured the card. Tomoyo had been so proud of Sakura then and even prouder that she had caught it all on camera. To watch over and over.

Tomoyo could feel them coming, those awful tears that she could never cry with. That promises so many years ago still held her bound to it. So she sat in First Class with her eyes full of tears that she couldn't use. She sat alone knowing she had be lying to herself all these years and would never truly be part of Sakura life forever. She would never always be with her dear friend. Today was proof. One of these days she would just be gone and she would have to be where Sakura wouldn't have to worry about hurting her all the time. Never again would she see her beloved Sakura when the day came and she would truly then be alone with no emotions other then pain. Pain she couldn't even show, in fear she would hurt her someone with it.

"All alone Daidouji Tomoyo, is that your fate always?" She asked herself in a whisper before she fell asleep.

"Not if you don't want it to be."

~**~

It was hours before the plane landed in England. Not too many because Tomoyo had been on longer, but she was still tired and sore from the ride. The sudden fear of being all alone swept over her again. Like a cloud of locus it swarmed her. Why had she ever agreed to this?

She could be home where she belonged. She could be home with the people she loved. She could be home completely miserable and still lying to herself about it. Tomoyo would have preferred it that way. It was easier to pretend that in Tomoeda, Sakura would always need her. Much easier. In Tomoeda, Sakura-chan was there smiling and that smile was what kept Tomoyo going. How could she even hope to go on without that smile?

Tomoyo wanted to go home.

" Perhaps it is not too late." Tomoyo said to herself not realizing she was even speaking out loud at the time.

"Well, I will certainly hope not." A giddy voice replied from behind.

Tomoyo turned around and as she did such smiled a genuine smile for the first time in such along while.

"It's never too late for you to ask to stay with us while you're in England, Tomoyo-chan!" Shouted an excited Ruby Moon in his false form closing Tomoyo in a tide embrace.

"It is good to see you again Daidouji-san." A voice came form aside.

"Like wise, Hiiragizawa-kun." Tomoyo greeted towards the young man, as Ruby Moon let go.

______________________________________________________________________________

More AN: Yeah, a cliffhanger because I know you love them so. But I do believe Starchick the only one reading this story so I wonder if I'll even continue it. Hmmm.... ^_^ I know this chapter and the prologue are slow starting but realize that they are needed for the base of the story. There is a reason for it all. Sonomi got the letter that reminded her of Tomoyo crying in the prologue. In this chapter Tomoyo can't cry like she use to. Even the promise mention in here is important. So don't complain people! I mean don't complain people pretty please.