PART THREE
CHAPTER FIVE:

Wulf

Disclaimer: Don't own, don't sue.

I realize they probably do not have Chinese food in Lylat, but did not know what else to call it. :shrugs: Fortunan, if you wish.

Yes, beer and cake will make you puke. Try it sometime.

Re-edit, October 2005.

Stroke of luck or a gift from god.
Hand of fate or devil's claws.
From below or saints above you come to me now.
Don't ask me why,
Don't even try.

x

Friday night, outside the Cornerian Air Force Base

The Cornerian sky was awash with hot pinks and reds and oranges, indicating the setting sun. The natural beauty was lost on Fox, who stood alone, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. He was dressed and groomed for his date, fingers finding their way to his lapel and anxiously playing with the collar of his white flannel. He held a bouquet of daisies in his unoccupied paw, silently awaiting Fay, who was finishing up her duties at the base.

Sudden apprehensions once again wrapped its tendrils around Fox's brain. Was he doing the right thing? Was he really attracted to Fay? She had been so happy, almost overjoyed that he had asked her out. But how did he feel about her? She was pretty, sure, but anyone cold appreciate beauty. She was intelligent, sweet, and funny, with a spunky and adventurous feisty side. She was...

She was his childhood friend. Was that it? Was that the problem, that perhaps he couldn't stop thinking of her as a friend long enough to think of her as a love interest? Then why did he feel so...

"Hey, Fox!"

Fox spun around to witness Katt skipping down the stairs to the building, firmly attached to Falco's arm. She had her hair pulled up in a ponytail, a pale blue mini-skirt and tank top off-setting her carnation pink fur. Her sandals clicked audibly on the sidewalk as she bounded lightly. Fox swallowed. She was beautiful.

"You look... great, Katt."

The feline modestly blushed, thick mascara lashes dropping demurely. She brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes, one arm still tightly fastened to Falco's arm. He was dressed in a black silk shirt, the first few buttons undone, and a pair of old, frayed jeans which hugged his lean form. His black leather boots thudded on the pavement, off-setting the playful click of Katt's sandals. They did make an attractive couple. Fox tried to find the words to articulate the notion, but failed

"Fox! I'm sorry I'm late!" came a new female voice, and Fay came running up to join the group.

She had her ears tied up in pink ribbons remnant of pigtails, a simple hot pink sheath fitting her slim form perfectly. She tripped lightly in her jelly sandals, the four-inch heels adding to her height. Pink eye shadow accompanied black mascara, a healthy flush adding a rosy hue to her cheeks. Blushing, she stepped over to Fox.

"Well?"

Fox smiled, lightly tugging at one ear, a teasing habit he'd developed early when they'd first been introduced to each other.. It annoyed the hell out of her, especially since she knew she would always be thought of as adorable, and never sexy. She was pretty, yes, but far too young-looking. Fay was thin, but lacked the sloping curves that defined a grown woman. She had always been jealous of Katt's figure, but kept quiet, fearing that any outburst were only add to the idea that she was still a mere child.

Still lightly twisting long white tresses between his fingers, Fox remained speechless. He had known Fay for most of his life, and yet... he never realized how beautiful she really was. Fay had never worn make-up before that night, and certainly never a dress. She had always been the tomboy of the group, too boyish to fit in with the girls, but too girly to fit in with the boys. He had never noticed how much she had grown, curves notwithstanding.

"You look fantastic, Fay," Fox finally said, releasing her ear and offering her the flowers. She blushed, thanking him and taking the flowers, reaching up to peck him lightly on the cheek. Dimly, he felt Fay slip her paw into his.

Fox looked over to see Katt, who smiled back at him.

"Looks like we'll see you later, Tiger. Falco's promised me a night on the town."

Fox nodded, looking over to Falco, who shrugged, looking away from him. "C'mon, Katt, let's go," he asserted, lightly tugging the girl towards the direction he wished to depart. With one last wink at Fox, she bounced along beside him. A frown surfaced on Fox's face, jaw hurting, as he watched Katt and Falco head off.

Are you stupid?

Something tugged on his sleeve, and Fox looked down to Fay, a questioning look on her girlish face. "Ready to go?"

Fox nodded, not sure that he was.

x

Later that night, downtown Corneria City

They'd had a little trouble opening up to each other in the beginning, both finding themselves in unfamiliar territory, but Fox found himself relaxing in Fay's company as the girl chatted along beside him, her paw still holding onto his. She had one daisy tucked behind her ear, the rest swinging idly from her other paw. All thoughts of Falco and Katt had vacated his thoughts, his mind focusing on Fay.

Dinner had been at the China Jade restaurant, a frequent haunt of Fox's. Introduced to it by his father at sixteen, Fox had been a loyal patrons since.

"Hey, Fox. I came to see if we were still on for Friday night. I didn't expect to encounter Lylat War II."

Fox's mind drifted suddenly, wondering such a thing would suddenly surface.

Oh. . . oh shit. . .

Falco. His original plans for Friday night had been with Falco. The avian never had the privilege of Chinese food, which to Fox was a rather hefty crime. He'd promised to drag him to his favorite spot, and share with him the utter nirvana that was Chinese. They'd hang out for a bit, stuff themselves, hit up the bars, try to pick up chicks. . .

"Fox? Fox! Are you listening!"

Jolted back to reality by the sound of Fay's voice, he snapped his head around to look at Fay, who stared up at him, her sky blue eyes slightly narrowed, a cute pout on her face. "Weren't you listening at all, Fox?" She asked again, feeling slightly miffed.

"Uh, I'm sorry, Fay, I think I spaced out for a moment," Fox babbled, embarrassed. " It must be the air... it's too crowded here, don't you think?"

"Wanna go back to my place?"

Fox stopped, not sure he had heard Fay correctly. She stared up at him, an expectant look on her face. She was so shy, so innocent, that surely she wasn't entailing. . .

Well, here you go, Romeo, time to prove yourself to everyone.

Not trusting his voice, Fox nodded

x

x

CHAPTER SIX

A stroke of luck or a gift from god.
The hand of fate or devil's claws.
From below or saints above you came to me.
Here comes the cold again, I feel it closing in.
It's falling down and all around me falling.

x

Later, Fay's apartment, downtown Corneria City

Fox sat on Fay's couch, nervously tugging at the collar of his shirt once more. His paws were clammy, a cold sweat beading up on his forehead. One sneaker lightly tapped on the immaculate white carpet, making a soft, muted pata-pata-pata noise. His eyes skittishly roamed around the tiny living room, from the highly polished mahogany coffee table, to the semi-big screen TV, to the shelves housing various paraphernalia ranging from tiny figurines to framed pictures, to other miscellaneous odds and ends. The white and pink hues of the room and the polished and dusted furniture suggested a woman's touch, but the tiny clutters of out-of-place objects hinted a more masculine influence. An autographed picture of Fay's favorite football star was hung predominately in the center of the far wall, near the bookcase. Fox dropped his jittery eyes to the carpet.

Fox stared down at his feet, as if they were the most interesting objects in the universe. He suddenly felt afraid, and severely out of place. He hadn't even ever kissed a girl, for hell's sake! There's a first time for everything. . . And Bill will shut the hell up.

He didn't want to use Fay, but he did like her. But was it love? Could he honestly say that he loved her?

"Sorry it took so long, Fox," Fay's bubbly alto broke his thoughts. She carefully balanced a tray with a chocolate cake on it, along with two wine glasses and a bottle of red wine. "Hope you're up for desert," she chirruped. "I baked the cake myself."

Fox smiled, taking the tray from her and setting it down on the coffee table. He gratefully poured the wine while Fay dissected the cake into small slices. Before she had even finished cutting, Fox had downed his first glass of wine in great mouthfuls and was working on his second. Before Fay's startled eyes, but finished the second one in one gulp, set the glass down, and wiped his mouth of the remaining droplets of wine.

"I guess you're really thirsty," she said, arching a brow and sitting down next to Fox. He smiled sheepishly, suppressing a burp and pouring himself another glass. He didn't intend to get plastered, just merrily buzzed enough to loosen up. After all, you're about to take advantage of your best friend.

Shut up.

It felt as if something inside him was wound up too tight, and if he didn't calm down he thought he just might explode.

"Well, bon appetite," Fay quipped, handing Fox a small plate with a piece of cake on it. He smiled again, slightly blushing as she stared at him expectantly. Slowly, he cut off a bite-sized piece with his fork and slipped the piece in his mouth, the chocolate melting over his tongue. Upon seeing that Fox didn't grimace or spit it out, Fay smiled with satisfaction, and turned to nurse her own plate.

They sat in silence for a few moments, a tranquility that wasn't completely unpleasant but still uncomfortable, while Fox knocked back another few glasses of wine. Finally, after his five or maybe sixth (he had lost count), Fox was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol on his system, and slowly he wound an arm around Fay. She blushed slightly, staring up into Fox's slightly bloodshot eyes. Deciding to take the initiative, Fay pulled herself up and pressed her muzzle to Fox's eliciting a startled gasp from the boy. Using his lapse to her advantage, Fay got even more bold, allowing her tongue the pleasure of journeying inside his mouth.

When Fay pressed her muzzle to his, had Fox gasped, feeling the control of the situation suddenly slipping from his fingers. Here it was, his first kiss, and he had no clue as to go about kissing her back. He felt her slide her tongue into his mouth, the warm flesh stroking his tongue and the insides of his cheeks, and couldn't help but feel that somehow, it was wrong, all wrong and it wasn't supposed to happen like this and he--

He pushed her off him, making a mad dash for the bathroom.

x

Wow. Just. . . shit. Fuck. What the hell did I just do?

Fox was in the bathroom, on the floor, leaning against the tub near the toilet. He had just expelled the chocolate cake and Chinese food from his stomach, and was now hanging between Hell and Limbo, in the depths of self flagellation and despair. What in the hell was he going to tell Fay?

Oh, I'm sorry, your kiss made be throw up. Oh, yeah, she'll really enjoy that one, huh, Lothario? Get a fucking grip on yourself, here!

Fox set pressed his back against the tub, staring up at the white ceiling. So great, then. Why did he throw up? Why hadn't he enjoy kissing Fay? Fox swallowed as another wave of nausea washed over him, and he squeezed his eyes shut, willing it to pass quickly. So, was it really true then? Is that why he couldn't kiss her? Was he really. . . Did he. . .

Everything that he had been fighting against, it was entirely unnatural, completely disgusting it was... it was...

He suddenly thought of kissing Falco, surprised when the notion didn't unsettle him. I think. . . I think it might feel. . .right.

Suddenly, Fox felt his whole world rearranged. Or rather, securely fixed, anchored down. With that understanding came a wave of comfort at finally realizing more about himself, something he'd never really given much thought to. He was the leader of the mercenary team Star Fox, son of the ace pilot James McCloud. But then. . . Without the war, who was he, really?

Well, now we know. I'm a bloody fag. Way to go.

But something about that idea didn't disturb him nearly as much as he thought it should. There was only a gentle needing below it all, quickly rising to the surface. Falco.

With a shaky sigh, Fox struggled to stand up, walking over to the mirror. He studied the stranger's face in the reflective glass, realizing that he wasn't such a stranger anymore. He quickly washed and dried his face, wiping his paws off on a pastel pink towel. He took a moment to collect his thoughts, then, squaring his shoulders, he opened the bathroom door and stepped out to face the consequences of self discovery.

x

He walked into the living room to find Fay still sitting on the couch, nervously chewing her lip and playing with the hem of her dress. She looked up when he came in, the sadness apparent in her watery blue eyes.

"It was my cooking, wasn't it? I'm sorry that I--"

Fox held up a paw to silence her, sitting down beside her. He swallowed a couple dozen times, trying to get his heart out of his throat.. "No, Fay, it's not that. The date was perfect, and you're perfect. It's just... I... I'm...I don't think that. . ." Hell, why is it so hard to say?

Fay after years of studying Fox, seemed to understand, grabbing his paw and rubbing soothing circles over it. "I... I understand, Fox." She broke off for a moment, a bittersweet smile gracing her features. "In a way, I guess I'm glad it's not some other girl."

Fox smiled slightly. They sat for a moment in silence, one that was comfortable and calming that the last, before Fox stood up. "I guess I better get back home," he whispered, hugging Fay, feeling her slender arms wrap around his neck. She pecked him lightly on the cheek, trying to lavish him with enough sympathy as she had to offer.

"Get some rest, Fox."

He nodded, standing up to leave.

x

Fox wandered the streets of downtown Corneria City, not quite ready to return to the base, to turn in and forget about the night's events. He degenerated into dwelling on the subject, trying his best to remain inconspicuous. His limp was acting up, made worse by the alcohol in his system. He stumbled along the streets in a dreamy haze, the hot night air fluttering through his fur. He looked up from the sidewalk just in time to see--

To see----

Falco. Falco and Katt.

She had her arms wrapped around his waist, and she was laughing about something, her head nestled on his shoulder. He stared down at her, a smile lighting up his face, one arm around her, the other wing holding onto a doggie bag of some sort. She reached up on her tip-toes and kissed him, lips pressed to his beak, a glimpse of her soft, pink tongue as she--

Fuck.

Fox didn't even try to stop the broken sob that escaped his throat, a mix of anger, confusion, and need swirling in his chest. His pitiful wail had caught the attention of Katt and Falco, the latter of the two calling his name. Fox spun around hastily, the world spinning for a moment in neon lights and black sky before coming blurrily into focus as he managed a shambling jog in trying to escape.

x

Falco stood stock-still, Katt still clutching him as he stared at Fox, who was running away. At Fox's cry, Falco had snapped his eyes open, his emerald gaze coming to rest on Fox's face, the anger in his eyes, the betrayal written on his face--

And another emotion he was surprised to see, gleaming affection of some kind.

Suddenly the pieces fit in Falco's head, and he knew that if he didn't run after Fox that second, the vulpine would probably try stuffing himself down the incinerator chute. He wanted to move, but didn't, his usually secure bag of emotions falling open, spilling the contents. Shit he didn't feel like dealing with. He stood unmoving, until Katt grabbed him, shaking his shoulders slightly.

"Go on, Falco. I don't really understand what's going on, but I know that you want to run after him," she said, staring up into Falco's eyes. She stroked the back of his neck with one paw as she continued. "I. . ." she stopped again, deflated. "Just go on Falco, find him." The avian nodded, a semi-stricken suspicion on his face that confirmed her suspicious. He ran off, disappearing into the thick street crowd, leaving Katt alone, confused and hurting.

And to top it off, she'd just lost thirty credits in the office pool.

x

"Fox! Fox, slow down, damn it," Falco called after the tod, easily overcoming him. Fox shot back a drunken insult, continuing to stumble along the pavement. Falco finally reached him, and grabbed a hold of his arm, forcing the vulpine to face him. Fox looked p at Falco, anger darkening his eyes, face smearing into a snarl.

"Fox., what the hell is your problem? Why are you so fucking pissed off?

"Let me go, damn it! Nothing is wrong with me!" Fox tried to yank his arm from Falco's grip, failing miserably, the alcohol and emotional trauma waning his strength. With his higher brain functions taking a back seat, Fox added, "Why don't you just go back to your little slut?"

Falco glowered, suddenly wanting to hit Fox, stopping himself. He's being a drunken idiot. Let him sleep it off. . .

"Falco. . ." Fox slurrred, mind screaming at him to shut up, his lips betraying him and still moving. "I like, I mean, I'm attracted. . . ah. . . Katt's a bitch."

"What thehell are you trying to say, Fox?"

Fox looked away, feeling sick and ashamed with himself. "You know, Falco."

The avian looked away, sighing. I can't give you what you need. . . He shook his head, turning to look down at the vulpine again, the raw, unkept and unhidden emotions written in his features. He was exposing himself, pushing away his masculine ego and pride, the wine he'd consumed lowering his inhibitions, his thoughts of self preservation. Take me as I am.

Falco swallowed, wanting to, but not. Feeling disgusted. Feeling fucked up. Thinking about all they had been through. . .

And then, suddenly realizing. Who the fuck cares? Feeling free. Feeling right. Fuck everything else.

Falco dropped a wing to the small of Fox's back, and pulled him close. Something about it seemed alright.

"Falco?"

"Yeah?"

"Man . . . I think I really like you."

Falco smirked, ruffling the top of Fox's head affectionately. "I know, Fox. I know."

"I mean like, like, really like you. . ."

Falco rolled his eyes, dropped his wing around Fox's waist, struggling to keep the vulpine upright. Fox had one arm wrapped around Falco's neck as they settled into a shambling walk.

"Hey, are you like. . . okay with this?" Fox suddenly piped up, fidgeting in Falco's grasp. The avian rolled his eyes, tring not to think about it, more concerned with keeping Fox upright.

"I think I'm really gonna miss breasts, but I'll fine. Stop moving so much."

Fox snickered and murmured something, his head lolling off to one side for a second. Falco reaffirmed his grip on Fox's waist as they continued on. Fox smiled, then frowned for a moment, trying in all his drunken wisdom to see what Falco was carrying in his left wing. He finally gave up and conceded to asking him. Falco zmiled slightly, holding up a take-out box from the China Jade.

"I didn't eat any yet, Katt and I were taking it back to the trailer to eat."

Fox smiled, warmth spreading through him, an icy needle of doubt hiding within.

Where do we go from here?

Fox rested his head against Falco, and decided it wasn't important.