Chapter Five

Sarah looked around the surprisingly well lit den filled with strangers lounging on beige and brown colored furniture. They all looked about her age, but Sarah had learned a long time ago that appearances could be deceiving.

Habit made her hang slightly behind Blade, hiding behind his shoulder as her eyes roamed over the crowded room. There were about twelve people already there, staring back, their faces openly curious.

Blade nudged Sarah with one elbow and murmured, "That's Thierry."

Sarah was startled when she realized that he was pointing to a young, good looking man with white blonde hair brushed back from his face and piercing black eyes. He was wearing a pair of khakis and a white polo shirt but somehow, even in that casual attire he had a air of command, of authority.

Finishing her survey of the room, Sarah noticed Annabelle sitting in one corner between two guys. One looked as though he'd be very tall if he stood. He had a thin lanky frame and sandy blonde hair that fell into his eyes. His smile was genuine and he seemed good-natured and fully comfortable even though, if Sarah was judging correctly, he was a human.

The other man definitely wasn't as tall as the first, but he was just as handsome, if not more so. His black hair was glossy and cut short, his eyes a black so dark that the pupil wasn't visible. He smiled vaguely in Blade's and Sarah's direction and, while the gesture didn't put her particularly at ease, there was something trustworthy about him.

Sarah smiled in return, finally stepping out of Blade's shadow, and took a seat in a soft, light brown arm chair by a beige curtained window, her hands clasped together in her lap. Blade settled on the arm of her chair, balancing somewhat precariously on the edge but remaining at ease.

"You must be Blade and Sarah," a girl with wheat colored hair said.

Sarah tilted her head to the side, studying the girl's face which was blemished by a scar that ran down the side of her face, beneath her left cheekbone, the color of strawberry ice. The eyes that looked back at Sarah as the girl studied her were slate gray.

Then Sarah let out a breath, recognizing the blonde girl. Lady Hannah.

Hannah stood, extending her hand. "Welcome to Circle Daybreak's main
headquarters."

Blade reached out his own hand and shook; Sarah repeated the gesture a moment later.

Hannah laughed softly. "This isn't a very big meeting place, we know, but we figure that no one will ever suspect this way." She glanced at Nissa, who was sitting cross-legged on the floor, then back to the newcomers. "I trust your ride here was pleasant?"

"Not with Nissa driving," Rashel muttered from the doorway where she was still standing, arms crossed. But her lips curved up in a smile, making it perfectly clear that she found Nissa's driving more humorous than anything else.

There were a few titters from around the room and Nissa gave Rashel a good-natured smirk. "My driving beats Nilsson's any day," Nissa said, defensively holding up her hands.

Hannah just shook her head, covering her smile with a cough and sat back down next to Thierry.

Lord Thierry was watching Nissa with open amusement curling his lips. "I think if everyone would cease conversation about the ride here and introduce themselves this meeting would go much more smoothly," he said, waving a hand to the person closest to him.

It was a girl with bright red curls who had just returned to her seat after patting Nissa on the shoulder in mock sympathy. She smiled sheepishly and bit her lower lip in concentration. "Well, my name's Poppy. I'm eternally sixteen, I enjoy long walks on the beach, candlelight dinners, and..."

*************************************

And that was how the meeting started. Sarah had stayed and chatted with the other Daybreak members afterward, marveling at their stories, each one seeming more unbelievable than the last.

The redhead, Poppy, had told her the story of how she had become a vampire after being diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. The disease had been incurable by modern medicine so her long time secret love, and soulmate, James, had changed her to save her life.

In the aftermath, Poppy had to leave her entire family, her mother, stepfather, and twin brother, behind. But, as Poppy told Sarah cheerfully, she was going to visit her twin brother, Phil, within the next few weeks.

Likewise, it seemed as though a lot of the Circle Daybreak members were going back to visit loved ones that they hadn't seen in a while. Ash, the vampire from before, was still counting down the seconds until his soulmate arrived for another visit. Thea, a blonde witch who was soulmates with the sandy haired man named Eric, was looking forward to being reunited with her cousin, Blaise. And Nissa regretfully informed Sarah that she wouldn't be around for much longer to chauffeur her around because she was scheduled to return to her team at another sanctuary to help look after one of the Wild Powers, a girl named Iliana.

The remaining sets of soulmates, Gillian and David, Rashel and Quinn, and Thierry and Hannah, had explained their stories. Gillian was a lost witch, David was a human. Quinn had been one of the most feared vampires, Rashel had been the most feared vampire hunter.

And everyone knew the story of Lady Hannah and Lord Thierry. About Maya Redfern visiting Hannah, life after life, pretending to be Thierry, and, in the end, killing her before her seventeenth birthday. But in this life, Hannah had beaten the cycle, celebrating her seventeenth birthday with her one true love, Thierry.

The news that Maya was supposedly still alive had the graceful girl a little on edge, but her smile remained sweet, even when the conversation turned to Maya and the extra precautions that would be taken to protect Hannah, Blade, the mansion, and its inhabitants from any surprise attacks.

What made Sarah a little worried was that she and Blade had never gone through any big disaster like the other sets of soulmates had. Sure, they had suffered from the consequences of a human and a Lamia, a Redfern Lamia no less, being paired. But, overall, it was nothing compared to what these other people, these people who, in Sarah's eyes were almost inhumanly brave, had gone through.

It made her wonder if something was about to happen.

And now, hours after the meeting had broken up, Sarah was roaming the halls, one hand trailing listlessly along the glossy wall. Her feet dragged, sometimes tickled by the thick carpet, other times feeling as heavy as leaden weights.

Although her eyelids were drooping, Sarah realized that she couldn't sleep. The different thoughts that raced through her mind had her almost shaking, so nervous that she felt as though she were standing on the edge of a precipice with no where to go but down. Even after spending so much time with people like her, she still didn't have any idea what to do about her problem; what to do about Kierlan.

Sarah started downstairs and headed for the library she had been in earlier. She was inexplicably drawn to what she knew would be a room with a crackling fire, warm and comforting. The lights were still just as dim and once again Sarah found solace in the cool shadows.

She went to the doors that led to the balcony and opened them, her hands closing around the shiny brass handles, taking a step out before realizing that someone was already there, leaning on the railing and staring up at the sky.

"Oh," she said, vaguely startled. "I'm sorry." Taking a step backwards, Sarah began to close the doors before the other person turned and moved into view.

Sarah froze with the doors half closed, simply looking at Kierlan. A different Kierlan, one without sunglasses, one whose hair was mussed, his expression thoughtful. "You don't have to go," he said softly, looking at her without breaking eye contact. "Come outside," Kierlan offered with a sweep of one arm.

Sarah swallowed hard, pushing the doors open again and stepping out onto the balcony, her stride uncertain. "I thought that you weren't going to be back for... a day or two."

Kierlan looked at her, vaguely amused. "And who told you that?"

His scrutiny was making Sarah nervous, but she set her shoulders and looked at him boldly. "That guy, Ash."

Kierlan snorted. "Ash huh? You shouldn't believe everything he tells you." As an afterthought, he added, "Besides, I got back early."

Sarah said nothing, painfully aware of the silence. Then something kicked in, some hidden instinct that told her to finish up this conversation, and fast. "I suppose I should thank you," she said, her eyes dropping and studying her bare feet.

"For?"

Looking up, Sarah said, "Helping Blade out of the house."

Kierlan's breath let out in a whoosh, his eyes narrowing, almost as though he were expecting a different answer. "You're... welcome." He turned away, elbows resting on the railing.

Sarah moved closer to him before she could even tell herself that what she was doing was crazy, touching the sleeve of his shirt, making sure that she didn't make contact with his skin. "You're angry..."

Kierlan turned in one swift motion, catching Sarah's hand in his, cool fingers wrapping around her own. "Not at you."

He said it just as Sarah felt a jolt; a jolt that sparked between their intertwined hands, pushing her closer to Kierlan. "What is this," she whispered, looking up at him, eyes wide and frightened. "I don't understand..."

"Shh," Kierlan said, hushed. He bowed his head and then his lips brushed hers softly.

"Kierlan, no," Sarah said, the words taking shape against his lips, already shaking her head.

He released her hands and lifted his fingers to either side of her face, stroking her cheekbones with his thumbs, brushing away a tear that hung, suspended, from her eyelashes like a shining crystal.

"This is meant to be," Kierlan said, looking at her solemnly, those dark eyes softening. "You know it is."

A sob caught in Sarah's throat and she dropped her head, unable to support its weight any longer. She willed herself to take a step back but found that she didn't have the strength to. A fine tremor had started somewhere in the pit of her stomach, growing and intensifying so that her entire body was shaking with fear and desire. "We can't. Kierlan, Blade... he's..."

"I heard from Rashel," Kierlan said, slipping his arms behind Sarah's back and pulling her close to him again, his fingers lacing and creating a belt to hold her to him. "But if he's your soulmate, Sarah, like you say he is, then what am I? What is it that's happening between us. Don't tell me that you don't feel this... this pull. If he's your soulmate then why does this feel so right?"

Sarah shook her head, blonde hair spilling into her eyes and obstructing her vision. But the shake wasn't in negation, it was simply defeat. "I feel it," she said quietly, voice tremulous. Her breath was coming faster, her chest rising and falling as she tried to compose herself. "I feel it, Kierlan, and it feels right. But we can't do anything about it.
We *can't.* It would kill Blade, it would. And... Kierlan, I love him."

Kierlan released his hold on her, his hands dropping to his sides as he stepped back, a rift of air rushing between them, leaving Sarah cold and empty. "I'm sorry," she whispered, looking away.

"So am I," Kierlan said with something like finality in his voice. He turned and started back into the library but stopped at the door, looking back at Sarah. "You only get one soulmate, Sarah. Most people don't choose to give that person up," he said with a shake of his head.

Sarah watched him go, helpless tears welling up in her eyes and spilling over her numb cheeks. "But I'm not..." she said softly, her voice cracking. "I'm just choosing one over the other."

She waited a few minutes, blinking back salty tears, losing the battle. The hot wetness spilled over her cheeks, dripping from her chin. Burying her face in her hands, Sarah sank to her knees, hugging them to her, crying softly, a feeling of unbearable loss settling over her.

*There's no winning this,* Sarah realized with a start, the thought so sudden and clear that it made her look up In the velvety night sky, one gleaming star caught her eye; the North Star. It burned brighter than any other, its shimmering brilliance blinking and blurring through her tears.

The thought came back and she squinted, the world collapsing in on that one star, as though it were the center of the universe. *There's no winning. Either way I'll lose one of them.*

There was a pull in Sarah's chest and she fought back the ironic notion that she finally knew what it felt like to have a broken heart. "I love them both," she said softly. "How could I choose just one."

"And how could I not," Sarah finished for herself before any of her inner voices could creep up and question her. Sorrow crept into the words and into the core of her soul. "I will always be missing a part of me, no matter what I do."

And the North Star was still there, winking at her like a conspirator.

*Two people are one thing to me.*

She looked away, standing up at last, struggling to keep her shaky legs underneath her as she tried not to wobble. The first few steps were difficult, as though she were a toddler and learning to walk all over again.

Sarah moved through the glass doors, shutting them behind her, then continued through the library, out into the hallway, up the stairs. Without seeing or taking anything in, Sarah found herself in front of her bedroom door, the bright golden knob dull compared to her pain. She opened it slowly, trying to keep the hinges from creaking and waking anyone else. The last thing she needed was for someone to come out of their room and ask what she was doing up at this strange hour, so close to dawn.

Shutting the door behind her quietly, Sarah nearly ran the few steps to her four poster bed, flinging herself on top of the covers, not even bothering to undress. She hugged her pillow close to her, burying her face in the softness of feathers and cotton, as though she could keep everything from escaping if she just couldn't see.

"Everything will look better in the morning," she said, her voice muffled in the pink pillowcase.

Sarah sniffled once, a teardrop falling and marking the satin before her eyelids shut, closing out the world and the troubles that had piled onto one another in just the past twelve hours.

And, just as dawn and daybreak began creeping around the edges of the bedroom curtains, Sarah's breath evened, her tears dried, and she fell asleep.