Disclaimer: I don't own them except for the kids!
Warring Hearts, Part 13
Jonathon went in for reconstructive surgery the day before New Years to repair the several nicked and sliced tendons in his left hand. The worst cut went from the joint of his middle finger down to the center on the back of his hand. One cut sliced from just under his index finger to his thumb. Another cut went diagonal from his pinky down to his wrist. And the last one traveled along the outside of his thumb to his wrist. The palm side of his hand went unscathed except for a few small cuts on the lower part of his palm. He had smashed his hand through security glass, which was hard to break through, and it broke jaggedly if it was broken. The surgery took several hours and then he was wheeled to recovery.
Hilde paced as she waited for the surgeon to come and tell them the outcome. She looked over at Duo who was sitting down with his head against the wall, dozing. It was only ten in the morning and they had to be here at six in the morning since Jonathon's surgery took place at eight. She sighed and shook her head as she crossed her arms. Then she saw the doctor alight from the swinging doors. "Duo, the doctor is here," she called.
"Hmm? Ok," Duo said as he opened his eyes slowly. He stretched his arms over his head and stood. He walked over to Hilde and slipped his arm around her waist as they both waited for the doctor to reach them.
"So, how was the surgery Doctor Muncini?" Hilde asked as he reached them.
"It went amazingly well Missus Maxwell," Doctor Muncini replied reassuringly. "I was able to repair all the tendons that were damaged in his accident. I was surprised that he didn't do more damage then he did since he broke through security glass."
Duo and Hilde both shifted uncomfortably on their feet. "It was just a freak accident," Duo said as he smiled slightly.
"Well, that's the good news. The bad news is that he'll be in for an extensive rehabilitation of his left hand. It's going to take a little longer then normal since he damaged so many and there was a lot of repair work done. Does he do things that require him to use his left hand?" Doctor Muncini asked.
"He does the accounting for our businesses. He uses the computer a lot," Hilde replied quietly. "But I suppose I could do it until his hand is better or if he still wants to do it, he could just use his right hand."
The doctor nodded his head thoughtfully. "It might be best for him to continue with his right hand. He'll be in for nine to twelve weeks of rehabilitation. He might have discomfort when using his hand once it's healed since the tendons won't have the same elasticity as they did before."
"Nine to twelve weeks?" Duo repeated. "I guess we should be thankful it wasn't his right hand since he's right handed to begin with."
"I know it seems like a long time Mister Maxwell, but considering the record your children seem to have, it'll go pretty fast," Doctor Muncini replied.
Duo sighed again. "Our kids are accident prone I guess." He thought of the last time they had been here for something like this. Randy had reconstructive surgery on her left knee when she tore the ligaments playing basketball and once for her ankle playing soccer. That had been four years ago. Before that, it had been David, who had it done on his elbow when he had very badly dislocated it playing basketball. Chris had surgery to repair a torn quadriceps in his right leg from landing wrong from running hurdles. And Jonathon had it done before on his shoulder from wrestling. "Hopefully this will be the last time," he answered.
"How long will he be in recovery?" Hilde asked softly.
"Oh I would say about two, three hours tops. Then you can take him home. I had the prescription for his pain medication sent down to the pharmacy already so you can pick it up before you leave," Doctor Muncini answered.
"Thank you Doctor," Duo said as he shook the older man's hand.
"I'm glad I could be of service. Let's just hope I don't have to see you two for along time. Your kids have kept me busy for the past couple of years," Doctor Muncini said, grinning as he shook Hilde's hand as well. "Good day to you both," he said as he nodded his head once again and left them in the waiting room.
"I'm glad that's over with," Hilde said as she slumped against Duo, "I don't know how I'm doing this."
"Doing what?" Duo asked as he wrapped his other arm about her waist.
"Keeping track of how many times our kids have hurt themselves and how much I worry each time they do, praying that this time won't require surgery to fix whatever they did."
"It's all right babe. You're a mom. You're entitled to worry. But this time was different. Jonathon punched his hand through glass because that pompous ass we know as Wufei pissed off our son. And if I had been him, I would have punched the jackass."
"You would," Hilde snorted as she tilted her head back to look at him. "But our son decided not to. He might have not damaged his hand if he had punched Wufei, but at the same time, we don't have to worry about him walking around with a broken nose."
"Would've served him right," Duo said shortly.
"I know it would've, but our son probably had some measure of respect for Wufei since he's the father of the woman he loves."
"I know," he sighed as he pressed a kiss on her forehead. "Now, I guess we wait until Jonathon comes out of recovery and in the meantime I'll run down at get the medication."
"All right. I'll be here," Hilde said as she squeezed his hands around her waist before he let go and left to go downstairs to the pharmacy. She sighed as she sat down in a chair, cradling her head between her hands. "If it had been me, I would've punched Wufei too."
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Leigh looked through the charts of patients that would be requiring physical therapy. Her lips parted slightly as she picked up the second one from the pile on her desk. "Jonathon," she whispered as she read it. "Oh God," she moaned as she read the reason for his rehabilitation. "This is all my fault." She pushed away from her desk and left her office. She walked down to recovery and poked her head in. She spotted him on the far wall, still under the effects of the anesthesia. She picked up the chart and looked at it before pulling over a stool next to the bed. She smoothed her sweaty palms on her burgundy skirt. "Oh Jonathon, I'm so, so sorry," she whispered to his sleeping form.
"Doctor Chang, I didn't know you would be here," said a young nurse named Lucy as she came over to check on his vital signs.
"I just had some paperwork on my desk from Doctor Muncini saying that there were several people in need of rehabilitation," Leigh replied awkwardly. "This patient seems to be in need of it."
"Yes, Jonathon Maxwell. He was wheeled in here twenty minutes ago," Lucy replied.
Leigh nodded her head. "I can see. His left hand was damaged."
"Poor thing. I heard he was the European sector boxing champion," Lucy said as she hung his chart back on the edge of the bed. "So will you be taking him?"
"No, no," Leigh replied hastily. "I'll let Doctor Cantrell take care of him this time."
"I see. The new kid needs some experience."
"Something like that," Leigh said weakly.
Lucy nodded her head and walked off to check on other patients.
Leigh sighed in relief. No one here at the hospital knew of her relationship with Jonathon Maxwell. And she wanted it that way. She looked around again until they were blissfully alone in the corner he was in. She slipped her hand into his right one as it lay on top of the blanket. She brushed back a lock of his chestnut hair as it fell on his forehead. He looked incredibly boyish when he slept, not at all like the twenty three year old man that he was. "If only I hadn't told you that I loved Ling, then maybe none of this would have happened," she said sadly as she continued to hold his hand and stroke the side of his face with her fingers.
Jonathon's head turned towards the warmth next to his face.
She sat back, startled by his movement, but he didn't wake up. She smiled faintly as she removed her hand from his face and slipped it under the collar of her white blouse, pulling out his cross that she wore around her neck. She stared at it as it glittered in the palm of her hand. She let it fall over the top of her shirt as she continued to watch him. She looked over at his heavily bandaged left hand and felt immense guilt rip through her. "Forgive me for all that I've done," she said as she lowered her head to stare at the white tiled floor under her black pumps. She sat there for an hour, just watching him sleep.
Later…
She glanced at her watch as an hour passed by. He was beginning to stir slightly. She stood and slipped the cross from around her neck, pressing it into the palm of his right hand. She leaned down close to his face. "Please don't think any less of me for giving this back to you. I know you probably can't hear me, but I want to tell you that no matter what anyone says, I loved you. Never doubt that I didn't or that I still don't because I still do love you. I'll always love you. I'm sorry I never saw how much you loved me. Forgive me for all that I put you through. I'm with Ling now and he seems to love me and I can't hurt him too. But you'll always own my heart," she said softly and sorrowfully. And with that, she pressed her lips against his in a gentle kiss and for a moment it seemed like he was kissing her back. She lifted her lips away from his and stared down into his face. He was still asleep, but she knew he would wake soon. She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears. She took a deep breath and left him in the recovery room, returning to her office. She closed the door tight behind her and finally broke down in tears.
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Jonathon heard someone talking to him. He couldn't make out whose voice it was or what was being said to him. His mind was still muddled by the anesthesia. His eyes opened in mere slits. He couldn't really see who it was either until whoever it was pressed their lips against his. He reacted and moved his lips slightly. He wanted to open his eyes as whoever it was removed their lips from his, but he couldn't. They were still too heavy. He heard the click of heels and then silence. He squeezed his eyes shut before forcing them to open. He blinked at the brightness of the light above him. "Ugh," he mumbled as he stared at the ceiling. He turned his head towards his left hand. He could see the pure white bandages swathing it. He sighed and slowly pushed himself into a sitting position. He looked down at his right hand and saw a chain dangling from his closed palm. He opened it. It was his cross. The one he had given Leigh. " No, it couldn't be," he said to himself as he stared at it. He blinked his eyes rapidly and then looked back down at his hand again. The cross was still there, glittering in his palm. The sequence of events shot through his mind as it gradually cleared, someone talking to him, someone kissing him, and his cross in his palm. It had to have been her. His mouth twitched, as he remained silent. In his mind was a different story. "LEIGH!"
Later that evening…
Jonathon hadn't said a word once he arrived home. His hand was killing him, but he didn't want to take the medication that was prescribed for him. He toyed with the spaghetti on his plate, his normally ravenous appetite gone.
Hilde was casting him worried looks since he hadn't really said much since they came home. She looked over at Duo.
Duo could see the expression on her face. He looked over at Jonathon. "Not hungry?"
Jonathon looked up from his plate. "Not really, no," he replied quietly as he set down his fork.
"Is your hand bothering you?" Hilde asked, concerned.
"No," he replied again as he took a sip of the milk in front of him. "I think I'm just going to watch TV for a little bit," he said as he pushed out his chair and went into the family room. He sat down on the couch and lay back on it, propping his head up on a pillow. He flipped the TV on with the remote and began to surf the channels. He wasn't looking for anything in particular; he just wanted to do something that would take his mind off of Leigh and the fact that his cross was back around his neck again. He still was wearing her ring around his neck. It was making him feel empty inside. He knew deep down he would have to accept that she loved Ling, but at the same time he was puzzled on why she would come to see him in the recovery room and why the hell would she kiss him if she loved someone else. He was baffled. He knew the answer was out there, it just eluded him. He moved his left hand a little. "Dammit," he hissed under his breath, hoping his mother wouldn't hear. He liked to be fussed over, but at the same time he, his siblings, and his dad made the worst patients. He pursed his mouth a little when he realized he couldn't move his fingers that were barely visible above the gauze. "Shit," he muttered and let his head fall back against the pillow again.
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Hilde heard her son's muffled curses and she rose from her chair, only to be stopped by a look from Duo. She arched her brow at him.
Duo shook his head negatively at her look and motioned with his eyes for her to sit down.
She pursed her lips in a thin line and narrowed her eyes a little.
His brow furrowed a little and he shook his head again.
Hilde glared at him and started for the family room only to be caught about the waist by Duo. She gave him a dirty look over her shoulder and tried to elbow him in the ribs.
Duo anticipated his wife's move, pulling away from her elbow. He turned her around swiftly and tossed her over his shoulder, carrying her out of the room.
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David and Randy passed each other a look when they heard the door slam upstairs a few moments later. "Will you pass me the spaghetti?" she asked nonchalantly.
"Sure," David said as he handed his sister the bowl. For a moment he spun his fork in the food on his plate. "You know what that was about?" he finally asked.
"Be damned if I knew," Randy replied as she tapped her fork on the edge of her plate, "Mom and dad always had conversations without words and I still can't figure them out."
"Same here," he said as he looked back towards the steps. "I don't think we ever will."
Randy nodded her head in agreement as they both finally went back to their dinner.
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Leigh lay back on her pillows as she sat alone in her room. The house was silent. She was playing her stereo softly. Her mother was mad at her father so she had kicked him out of the bed and he was now sleeping on the couch. She sighed as she rolled over and faced the wall. She wasn't really speaking to her father either since she had found out that he was the other reason Jonathon smashed his hand through glass, damaging it beyond belief.
I heard from a friend today
And she said you were in town
She reached out and pulled open the drawer on her nightstand. She fumbled around inside before finding it and pulling it out. She rested the small brown velvet box on the pillow next to her face. She looked at it for a moment before raising herself up on her elbow. She opened it and stared at the ring inside. Small diamonds sparkled intermittently on the white gold band. She pulled it out and slipped it over her ring finger on her right hand. It was a ring given to her by Jonathon on her twenty first birthday. She looked at it on her finger. She then looked at her left hand. She wore a jade ring on her index finger. It had been an heirloom left to her mother in a bank vault in Beijing.
Suddenly the memories came back to me in
My mind
She remembered everything about him. She knew that he had a scar on his heel from stepping on a piece of glass when he was ten. That he had a birthmark on the small of his back in the shape of a horseshoe. The fact that he wore glasses when he wasn't wearing contacts. Or that he was a closet romantic. Intimate details that not many people knew. Or the fact that every time he kissed her, her knees would turn to rubber, even when she was mad at him.
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
Leigh could still remember how persistent he was in asking her out.
"Go out with me."
"No Jonathon."
"You'll have fun, I promise."
"No Jonathon. You're asking the wrong girl."
"I'm asking the right girl."
"You'll have to try harder then that."
"Come on Leigh, for me."
"You still have to try harder."
"I bet I could kiss your socks off."
"Keep thinking that, but it won't ever happen at the rate you're going."
"So, I bet I could kiss your socks off."
"In your dreams Maxwell," she snorted as she started to walk away.
"I'll wear you down, then you'll say yes!" he shouted at her retreating back.
"Do that! In the meantime, work on your pick up lines. They're sorely lacking," she called over her shoulder as she continued to walk away.
That particular memory made her smile. He had been more then persistent. He had dogged her every step. It didn't fail to make her laugh at the lengths he went through just to get her to go out on one date with him. She could remember coming home from college for Christmas and finding her room filled with lilies and with several tins of Hilde's chocolate chip cookies, which she loved. And he had been there sitting in the tree outside of her window, waiting for her.
"Now will you go out with me?"
"Maybe."
"Pretty please and I promise I'll be good."
"Yes, I'll go out with you. But you being good? The day that a Maxwell is good voluntarily is the day that I marry one."
"Be careful what you say sweetheart and I'll make you eat those words of yours," he said as he climbed in through the window and stood in front of her.
"You wish," she snorted disdainfully, looking up at him. "Don't be…" But she was cut off when he kissed her soundly on the mouth.
She laughed again at the memory. He had kissed her and even though she would never admit it to him, he had kissed her socks off.
A wounded heart you gave,
My soul you took away
Her soft laughter faded. She smiled ruefully. He had captured her heart and soul the very first time he kissed her. People always wondered what she saw in him. He was womanizing, trash talking, undisciplined Maxwell with a penchant for getting in trouble. But she saw beneath the surface to the warm-hearted sweetheart that he really was. She fell in love with just one kiss. He had trusted her enough to let her inside and she could feel it in the way that he kissed her.
Good intentions you had many,
I know you did
"If only our tempers hadn't been on a collision course," she whispered to herself. Their personalities clashed. He was too laid back and she was too uptight. He didn't believe in absolutes. She did. He wasn't a workaholic, she was. They weren't a match made in heaven. "It was more like a match made in hell," she sighed. When they fought, it became a yelling match since their tempers were so explosive. It made her cry when she was alone because she wanted to work so desperately. It was hard to break up with him and she usually did it in the heat of anger. And each time, she would always take him back. They couldn't stand being apart for long.
I've come from a place that hurts,
God knows how I've cried
She always told herself afterwards not to take him back, but she couldn't help herself. He meant too much to her to let go even though they would hurt each other so badly. She fought it, but she always gave in to that angelic smile of his. She couldn't resist him and she knew it. And she knew that he must have known it too.
And I never want to return
Never fall again
Leigh placed the box on top of her night table and rolled to her back. She rested her hands above her head, curling her fingers about the wrought iron headboard. It brought back some more memories that made her face flush. Besides the first time he made love to her in her bed, they would find ways to sneak it so her parents wouldn't find out. He made sex an event unto itself.
"Oh God…"
"Leigh…God…you're going to kill me."
"Harder…"
"…Any harder we'll break the bed…"
"You…could…buy me…a new one…"
"Wouldn't…that…make your parents…"
"You talk…too much…"
"So do…you…"
"Just hardDER…"
"I don't want…to hurt you…"
"…Then you sit back and…I'll do all the work…"
"…Dammit Leigh…Oh God…"
She let go of the headboard and fanned her face with her hands. Her cheeks were scalding hot. That particular time, she had been the one on top, gripping her headboard above his head. They had almost broken the bed that time.
Making love to you felt so good and
Oh so right
The other time that stuck out in her mind was when they made love in his truck. He was driving and she was straddling his lap. But what made it memorable because she was being his fantasy for the evening since it was his birthday. She was dressed in the Catholic school girl uniform that she worn when she attended Saint Augustines. She fanned her face again. She smiled softly at all the times he had made love to her. He was always careful with her. He was always afraid that he would hurt her since she was so much smaller then he was. His touch was always light, like he was touching something delicate and fragile.
How can I be strong I've asked myself
Time and time I've said
That I'll never fall in love with you again
"If only I hadn't been so blind," she whispered to herself as she looked up at the ceiling, "Then maybe I would have seen that he loved me. I should've seen it." She could remember waking up sometimes in his arms and he would be watching her with emotion filled eyes. She never really defined the emotion she saw there and now she was wishing that she had.
So here we are alone again,
Didn't think I'd come to this
Then the night of the dinner from hell flashed through her mind. She could almost feel his mouth on hers again, draining her willpower away. The way that his eyes looked at her as he made love to her swirled through her brain. She had seen it then too, but she hadn't really seen it. It was the same look he had the night of the engagement party when he had been trying to tell her that he loved her. He had purposely gotten her alone so he could tell her what he felt. She closed her eyes and if she thought hard enough, she could feel his breath against her lips as he was trying to say the words that she wanted to hear for so long.
And to know it all began
With just a little kiss
"Did he fall in love with me the time that we first kissed?" Leigh asked herself as she rolled to her stomach, wrapping her arms about her pillow and resting her chin on it. She looked at the wall behind the headboard. "I wish I knew if he did?" she asked herself again as she frowned. "But I screwed it up."
I've come to close to happiness,
To have it swept away
She knew that she was happy with him. He made her feel so alive inside even when they were fighting. There was just something about him that drew her to him. He was in her blood. "But I royally screwed it up this time around," she said as she thought of the time she asked him to make the breakup official. She never wanted to remember that day that she tried so hard to sever any feeling that she had for him because she couldn't stand inflicting any more pain on him as he did her. She loved him too much to hurt him any longer and she was causing herself so much grief. And now, she had really hurt him past the point of no return. She told him the ultimate lie. "I told him I loved somebody else when I don't," she said mournfully as felt her eyes get hot.
Don't think I can take the pain
No never fall again
"Now I'll never get to hear that he loves me. I ruined my own chances by telling him that I loved Ling when who I really love is him."
Kinda late in the game
And my heart is in your hands
"Even if break up with Ling, Jonathon will never take me back now. I wish…." She trailed off as tears began to roll down her cheeks.
Don't you stand there and then tell me
You love me
Then leave again
"I wish…"
'Cause I'm falling in love with you again
"God help me, I love him, but I wish…" she cried harder as all the memories of him flashed through her mind. Him kissing her when she broke her ankle to take her mind off it. The way he took care of her afterwards. The way that he grinned when he was being a pain and he knew it. The way that he would smirk at her when he was up to something that wasn't good. The way that he would hold her tight when they would fall asleep on the couch in front of the television or out on the hammock in his yard.
Hold me, hold me
Don't ever let go
"I wish…" she whispered as she clutched her pillow as more memories flooded her brain. The way that he would leave a single flower on her pillow when he left her house first thing in the morning so that she would think of him when she woke up. The way that he kissed her. The way that he touched her and made love to her. The way that he danced with her that night at the engagement party. She never wanted him to let go of her. She belonged in his arms. And they had come so close to reaching what had been escaping them.
Say it just one time
Say you love me
All the times she wished that he had told her that he loved her made her heart wrench since it must have been in his eyes all along. But once was all she needed. She needed him to tell her just once that he loved her. She looked at her finger through blurry eyes. The ring wavered back and forth in her vision. She slowly closed her other hand around it.
God knows I do love you
Again
"I wish that I never fell in love with you," she cried brokenly as she pulled the ring off her finger, clutching it in her hand as she let herself cry for him one last time.
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Sally stood outside her daughter's door. She could hear the heart wrenching sobs. It broke her heart. She gave her husband a hard look as he stood on the steps. "I hope you can hear what you did to our daughter," she snapped as she turned on her heel and slammed the door to the master bedroom behind her.
Wufei stood there, silently as he watched Sally's retreating back. He didn't flinch when she slammed the door. He turned his head towards his oldest child's door. His mouth twitched a little. He frowned slightly, shoving his hands into his pockets. He turned and went back down the steps to his bed on the couch, having a blank expression on his face and said not a word at all.
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Jonathon woke up with a start on the couch. All the lights were out and the TV was off. He felt a twinge inside of him. He squinted in the darkness and slowly stood up. An aching pain shot through his hand, but he ignored it. He concentrated on the heaviness settling within his chest. He always had a strange feeling like this when Leigh was upset. It was a connection that they seemed to have. It was almost gut wrenching as he leaned against the paned glass of the deck doors in the family room. The stars shined brightly overhead seemingly oblivious to the heartache being played out below. "What is hurting you so much?" he whispered as he closed his eyes, trying to will away the pain in his hand at the same time he was trying to figure out why she would be so upset. "Why do we still have this connection Leigh? If you don't love me, why do I still feel you?" he whispered again. He sighed and let his right hand fall away from the glass. He glanced once at the counter and could see the pain medication sitting there. He took some of it, reluctantly and trudged up the stairs to his room. He managed to take off his pants and toss them on the chair, leaving him in boxers and a T-shirt. He crawled under the covers and looked up at the shadow cast on his ceiling by the moon. He could feel her pain fading within him, but it tended to linger. "I'm sorry for whatever's hurting you Leigh, but I can't do this anymore then you can. I give up. I can't have you, and then I have to go on without you, even if I love you. And I will always love you no matter what," he vowed as he closed his eyes and gave himself up to the pain medication and sleep.
*Song "Again" by Janet Jackson
A/N: I'm really cruel aren't I? And I know some of you must be ready to choke me for making these characters so unbelievably miserable. So if you want to know how this will turn out, don't choke me just yet! Stay tuned for more coming soon! XOXO!
