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Warring Hearts, Part 16
Jonathon stared sightlessly out at the water as it lapped on the beach. His jacket, vest, and tie lay discarded on the inside of his truck. The white shirt was untucked and a few top buttons had been undone. He tilted the bottle of rum to his lips again, making a face again as it went down. He looked at the bottle in the moonlit darkness. "This is not helping," he muttered as he let it dangle from his fingers. He was sitting on the lock box in the back of his truck. He knew that he wasn't supposed to be on the beach with it, but at the moment, he really didn't give a damn. "What ways to lose the woman you love? Just have someone else ask her to marry them right in front of you!" he hissed as he looked back out into the night. "There isn't anything more I can do. She probably said yes. I wouldn't blame her if she did. She deserves someone who loves her and can say it to her. She deserves a lot better than me," he laughed bitterly.
Leigh made her way to the place she knew that he would go. She pulled her car into the beach parking lot and got out. She would have to walk from here. She let her shoes hang from her fingers as she walked along the beach. Guilt was eating at her. She had broken him completely. She knew she had to tell him that she said no. She couldn't let him think that she said yes because it would tear him apart inside and he would go and do something dangerous. Her feet sank into the sand as she walked. It wasn't an easy place to find since there were only two ways to get there. One was to walk over the rocks on the water on the other side of the cliffs, and two was by car. But her car couldn't take that road unless she wanted to rip out the bottom of her car. So she walked. "Jonathon, please don't be doing something stupid," she prayed as she reached the rocks. She hiked up the skirt of her dress and gingerly stepped onto the rocks. They pressed mercilessly into her feet for they were sharp, wet, and slippery. She braced her hand up on the rocky wall and made her way over them without hurting herself. She stepped back down onto the sand. She looked around and spotted his truck sitting there in the moonlight. A sigh of relief escaped her lips as she walked towards him. "Jonathon," she called out softly.
For a moment, he thought it was the wind calling him, but he turned his head and saw her approaching. His eyes grew cold and he looked away from her. "What the hell do you want?"
A frown crossed her face at his tone, but she understood his hostility. "I wanted to talk to you," she replied calmly as she stood at the foot of the truck. She looked up into his face, ignoring the chilling feeling she was getting from the look in his cobalt eyes.
"Shouldn't you be spending time with the man you're going to marry?" he asked bitingly.
Leigh flinched inwardly. "That's what I came to talk to you about."
"What? Going to apologize for him doing it so publicly Leigh?" Jonathon replied nastily, turning his eyes away from her.
She snapped. "Dammit Jonathon, stop being an asshole for thirty seconds and listen to me!" She placed her hand on the gate and tapped her nails on it. "First, I want to get up here so you don't look down on me. I COULD use YOUR help?"
He glared at her, but put the bottle down. He looked down at her as she glared right back at him from the sand. He jumped down and grabbed her by the waist, picking her up effortlessly and set her down hard in the bed of the truck. "Happy now," he hissed as he climbed back up again and sat down.
"You're drunk," Leigh hissed back as she observed the two empty liquor bottles, "No wonder you're acting like a bastard."
"I'm not yours to bitch at anymore Leigh! So say what you have to and then leave me the hell alone!"
"Someone has to bitch at you or else you'll self destruct you jackass!"
He said nothing for a moment as her eyes impaled him like knives. Her eyes were frosty. He had never intimidated her; she never let him get away with it. "What do you have to say?" he growled in a more controlled tone.
"I wanted to tell you…" she began as she sat down next to him, "…that I turned Ling down."
Jonathon's eyes widened with shocked surprise as they glanced at her. He turned them away however, and looked back out into the night. "You should've said yes."
"I should have said yes to a man that I don't love?"
He returned his eyes to hers. "I thought you told me all those months ago that you loved him."
"I did because you were hounding me about it. I was already mad at you for fooling around with Veronica."
"So you decided to inflict some pain on me for hurting you by telling me that you loved someone else?" His eyes narrowed dangerously again. "You really are a piece of work Leigh. Couldn't you have just killed me and been done with it?"
"Why would you have preferred death?"
"Over hearing that you loved someone else? Hell yeah!"
"And you think that would've done you any good?"
"Let me think about that for a minute…" Jonathon paused as he tilted his head to one side, "yes, it would," he snapped angrily. "You didn't have to tell me unless you wanted to twist the stake in my chest a little more. You could be a heartless bitch when the situation called for it."
"And you were asking for it!" Leigh exploded as she turned to look at him. "You made out with Veronica and you were still involved with me! You fooled around with a sixteen year old girl!"
"I was being stupid! And I'm sorry it ever happened! You didn't have to get back at me for something that happened nearly two years ago!" he shouted at her. "I may have deserved you hating me, but I didn't deserve to have you twist the dagger a little more by telling me that you loved another man! You rubbed it right in my face and then your father needled me a little more! I punched my hand through security glass because of you!"
"You were the one stupid enough to let my father get the best of you!" she shouted back.
"You know, you're really compassionate Leigh," he said sarcastically. "Does Ling ever see this side of you? Does he know what you sound like when you're good and mad?"
"Ling never gave me a reason to lose my temper! Unlike you!" she fired back.
"So he doesn't know that a heated argument turns you on and that the mere bit of resistance you get from you're opposition makes you wet!"
Her face flared with color. "You…you…" she sputtered.
"And that you like make up sex or that you like it hard and fast."
Leigh's face flamed an angry red. "You bastard! That's why I was with him! He didn't do this to me! He never gave me reason to lose my temper! You did! You never could leave something alone! You always had to start an argument! You made my life a living hell!"
His hand shot out and twisted itself into her thick black hair, pulling her face close to his. "I made a woman of you! And if you don't want to admit that fine! But everything I said about you is true and you know it! And if you cared one bit for me at all, you wouldn't have said that to me, even in the heat of anger!"
She could see her reflection in the depths of his cobalt eyes. They were almost black with rage. But she could also see what was being covered up behind them. He didn't want her to know how much she really hurt him. He was protecting himself from her so he was being deliberately vicious. She knew that he was the type to go for the jugular. "You think I don't care about you! I turned down another man because I didn't want to tear you apart more than you already were! I cared enough about you to turn down a fucking marriage proposal!"
"Don't
do me any favors Leigh!"
Leigh ground her teeth together. He was being obstinate and it was driving her insane. "I wasn't doing it solely for you! I was doing it for me! I was sick of living a lie that's been going on for the past year! I liked Ling very much, but I didn't love him! I couldn't make myself love him because half the time I was hung up on you!"
"You were the one who broke it off remember! You said it was for the best!"
"I was being stupid that's why! I thought I could get over you and find someone else! I was wrong! I was in love with you then like I'm in love with you now! And if you don't like that answer you can shove it!" she yelled at him.
Jonathon's brow furrowed slightly. "You have a funny way of showing it," he grumbled as he let go of her hair, letting it slide from between his fingers. He let it drop down on his lap.
"Do you think if I didn't love you at all, would I be here, telling you that I turned down a chance with a man that clearly adores me. Jonathon, I gave you my heart along time ago. I'm sure that you already knew that," she continued in a softer tone.
"I knew it. I always knew that," he replied quietly as he swirled the liquid in the bottle.
"Then why all of this?"
"Because I didn't want to let you so close. You know me better than anyone else. You would know that I've never confessed what I really felt and that I've always tried to hide it."
Leigh looked at him. She longed to hold him close, but she couldn't. "You even hid it from me, what you felt. You never could tell me the truth whenever I asked you."
"About what?"
"Jonathon, didn't it ever cross your mind that I was always waiting for you to say something? That the reason I really broke up with you wasn't because of that silly argument? Jonathon, I just wanted you to tell me how you really felt about me, but you never did. Even after all the opportunities that I gave you," she answered sadly as she twisted her fingers together
A dawning look crossed his face. "I haven't really thought of why you broke up with me. I didn't know that you were waiting for something."
She shook her head as she turned to face him. "I love you. I do. God help me that I do. But there was no way I was going to go with you without knowing how you felt. I needed to know. A girl will only take so much before she falls apart. And I didn't want to do that. I just needed to hear the words."
He caught the sorrowful catch in her voice. "You know that I always cared about you," he said carefully.
"I know that! But that's not what I'm talking about! That's why I broke up with you! I couldn't go on like we were! I never knew how you really felt. I could sometimes see it in your eyes that you cared, but otherwise I didn't know how you really, really felt," Leigh said, as she tried to keep the catch out of her voice. She stood up and rubbed her hands up and down her arms. "But like then, I can't go on without knowing. And if you can't tell me now, there is no real reason for us to be together. I love you too much, but I will let you go if I have to."
Jonathon put down the bottle and looked up at her. She looked so incredibly beautiful. He couldn't explain what it was that drew him to her. He just knew that he loved her for who and what she was. And she wanted to hear him say it. He knew that he needed to say it this time. But he felt his nerves unravel, his mouth go dry, and his palms sweat. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Leigh, I was being foolish. I don't admit to strong feelings towards a woman because I don't usually feel them. Those girls were with me for one reason only like I was with them. I don't want to be hurt, just like anyone else. I fear rejection more than I fear Heero Yuy. I know that's not an excuse, but it's always been hard to express what I feel for you because I just don't know how."
A rueful smile touched her lips. "You know once I walk away, there is no going back. I may love you, but I need you to say it." She took a few steps and jumped down onto the sand again. She looked over her shoulder. "Good bye Jonathon," she said as she turned away. Her eyes welled with tears. She knew she wouldn't get it out of him. It was already too late for that.
His eyes widened. She meant it. He couldn't do this. He had to get over the fear now. Now before she walked away from him completely and permanently. He couldn't let it happen again. He wouldn't let her go without a fight this time. He jumped down and raced after her. He grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. "Don't go, I need you too much. I…love you too much to let you go again." And with that, he kissed her.
Leigh's eyes wide at his response before sliding closed as his mouth slanted over hers. Her arms wrapped around him, holding him tight to her. Tears slid from the corners of her eyes to slip down her cheeks. She broke the kiss and looked him straight in the eye as their foreheads touched. "You mean that?" she breathed.
"Yes, I mean it. I love you. I've loved you since I don't know when I've wanted to tell you so many times, but I didn't know how without freezing up. I'm sorry if I hurt you like that by not saying them, I'm so, so sorry," he pleaded as he wiped her tears away with this fingers. "Forgive me for being a total coward and not telling you sooner. I love you Leigh. There's nothing more to it."
A smile touched her lips. "I know you do. I can see it in your eyes. Don't ever hide it from me. I've always loved you," she said as she wrapped her arms around his neck again and pressed her lips insistently against his.
His fingers twisted themselves in the satin material of her dress. His other hand buried itself in her hair, holding her head in place as he kissed her. He had missed this, missed her. Missed feeling her in his arms. He moved his mouth across her cheek to her ear. "I love you," he whispered again. Now that he had said it, he didn't want to stop. He wanted to make up for all the times that he didn't. "I promise to make it up to you every way possible Leigh. I want you and only you. I promise to be with you forever."
She pressed her cheek against his. "What are you asking me Jonathon?"
Jonathon pulled away and ran his fingers over her jaw. "What does it sound like? Leigh, I want you to marry me."
Her eyes went wide with shock. She wouldn't have thought that he would do that quite so soon, but she also knew she wouldn't turn him down if he asked. She touched his cheek with her fingers. "Yes. I'll marry you," she responded quietly, lovingly.
A trademark Maxwell grin crossed his face. He picked her up by her waist and swung her around in his arms. He didn't put her down however, but carried her back to the truck, depositing her in the back. He climbed in after her and pulled her against him again until she was sitting with her back against his chest. He pressed a kiss on her temple again. "I love you."
Leigh titled her head back and looked up at him. A smile lit her face. "I love you too. But Jonathon, what prompted you to ask?"
He turned her to face him. He looked into her luminous ice blue eyes. "Because I wanted to. Because I know in my heart, that you would be mine. Always." He kissed her again, pulling her astride his lap, his hands thoroughly wrecking her hair as they threaded through once again.
She had her skirt hiked up enough to sit on his lap that way, the purple silk of her dress swirling down over his legs and hers. She leaned away from him briefly. Her blood was racing from their kisses and from the mere touch of his hands on her skin. "You would do anything for me?"
"Anything."
"Tell me you love me again."
"I love you," he said in a low voice as he pulled her mouth back down to his. "I love the way you feel, I love the way you look, I love the way you come," he whispered as he pressed his mouth against her throat. His hands began moving downwards. "I love your smile, I love the way you love me. I love the way you're making me feel right now." His hands were on her hips, still moving downwards.
"And what's that?" she asked in a smoky voice.
"Turned on and still so much in love with you," Jonathon replied as he pulled her closer. He rubbed his nose against hers.
Leigh smiled and rubbed her nose against his. " I love you too, but don't you think we should take this somewhere else?"
"Nope,"
he replied. "Right here is just fine. Now, be quiet and let me kiss you."
She nodded her head as his lips claimed hers in a passionate loving kiss.
A/N: How did you like that? Surprised? Happy? Stay tuned for the last chapter coming up soon! XOXO!!
