warpeace2.html Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing....MWAHAHA..but I am insane.

Fic Notes: Pretty much the same warnings as before. Angst, sap, all that good stuff. ^_^

At War with Peace
-Chapter Two
Hating Love

As I am sitting here, thinking of how the best life for me became the worse, I have come to conclusion that it was all about my past. My past brought every bad thing in this Earth crashing my way, and while year after year I would stand there and be hit with what life threw at me, there was only one power so strong as to catch all of those terrible things. That was love. When I was a young boy, I didn't have love. I didn't even know what love is, and I didn't until I met Duo. Who would have thought that loving someone could tear you up inside, and out?

I'll tell you one thing, life at the orphanage was better than any life I had ever experienced. People say high living is the only way to go. I shudder to think of how wrong those people are. Sure, I got luxury, wealth, and I was always clean and in good health. It was only when I was dropped on the foreign island of America that I began to realize there were some things that were just more important. Now, I'm not saying that my health isn't important to me anymore. It's one of the most important factors is my life. As the spoiled brat that I once was, health was the most important factor. *My* health. Everything focused on me. Well, could you blame me? No one else that I knew meant anything to me.

Anyway, I suppose you want me to get back to story of Duo and I. I warn you, the happiness doesn't last for long. Happiness is such a wonderful gift, that of which can only be given for such a short amount of time. I sigh as I think of how ever so true that statement is. My happiest days were the days that I spent with Duo. He was unlike anyone I had ever met before. He was kind, cheerful, funny, and all that other good stuff that makes a person feel like life is worth living. I was so afraid that he wouldn't like me anymore if he found out who I really was, how I was raised not to pay any attention to other people's emotions. He was too good for me.

After our little hugging moment in the bedroom, Duo introduced me our other two roommates, Wufei and Trowa. They too seemed to know who I was by taking one look at me. I wondered why everyone else on the streets didn't. Trowa seemed like a nice guy, kind of silent, but Wufei on the other hand...he just seemed to have issues. It seemed like he never stopped frowning, and was always saying something about honor. "It's an *honor* to meet you Heero Yuy." "I'm honored that your staying here in our living quarters." He also talked very professional, never used slang or street words, like I noticed Duo and Trowa sometimes did. I was afraid I talked too much in a 'Royal' manner, but got over it listening to that Wufei guy talk.

After they went back to God knows where, I think Duo mentioned about them being in a community service program, Duo took me back to the room and helped me get settled in. Since I had no belongings with me, Duo offered taking me the store to get a few things, his treat, but until then I could just use his stuff. He threw his extra sleeping bag up on my bunk, and even let me use his second pillow. He said it was hard for him to sleep with only one, but then again it would be hard for me to sleep with none. That amused me. After that he offered to show me the school. Now, please note that I have never been to school before. I had my own personal teachers come to estate and teach me there, but never a public school. I was quite nervous about attending school. Who wouldn't be?

Nevertheless, I followed Duo around the block to the high school for orphans. I never thought the school would be *just* for orphans, but I guessed that would make things easier on the teachers. I didn't like the looks of that school. It was fairly large, easy to get lost in, and it looked very dirty. The walls were marked with graffiti and the paint had turned an ugly yellowish color, if it wasn't that color to begin with. Duo had made a remark about how ugly it was, so at least I knew I wasn't alone. I imagined that place would crawling with cock roaches, however when I mentioned that to Duo, he just laughed.

We couldn't actually go on campus because the school was closed on weekends, and no one was even allowed to go in, so we headed back to the orphanage. Duo said he would have to wait until next weekend to take me shopping because he had some sort of exam to cram for. I didn't mind. I was awfully tired that evening anyway, and I enjoyed talking to Duo on the steps leading to the orphanage, even if he did have his nose in a book half of the time. He explained how he became an orphan, which was quite surprising. I figured he might be hesitant to tell be about his family. Sometimes discussing that kind of thing, especially to near stranger, could be quite difficult. Duo expressed his feelings openly though, and I liked that in a person.

I remember when it was getting late, to the point where Duo wasn't studying anymore, just looking at the books and talking to me, he scooted over next to me and rested his head on my shoulder. I welcomed the gesture completely, enjoying the way his soft hair touched my neck and his braid rested along my arm at my side. When he was finished talking, I talked. I spilled my guts out to him. Everything from how I was raised forced to like girls, and I grew up not liking them at all. Duo agreed to that, and somewhere in between out conversation his hand found mine, and I rested mine on top of his until it got chilly and we were ready to inside. Duo explained to me about curfew, how we had to be indoors by eight. It didn't matter to me. I was rarely outside in the days when I was living at the estate. Was it that long ago? I guess time moves quickly when you're in love..

Ah, but then again, I wasn't in love at that point. I keep forgetting that, since I'm completely in love with Duo now. You have to understand it is difficult for me to focus on the past now. Those were the happiest days of my life, the days I'm describing now. It all ending too soon, and it hurts to remember. However, I shall tell you, because I know the beginning of the story is just as important as the story itself. So I guess I will start, from where I left off...

***

I shuddered slightly as the warmth engulfed me as we entered the orphanage. Maybe outside had been a bit more chilly than I predicted. The main room wasn't as crowded as before, I figured everyone must be in their rooms getting ready for bed. However, Duo didn't seem to be leading me to our room, we were going down a hall I didn't recognize. I didn't bother to ask, just waited to see where he was taking me. After a moments walking we came to two, large silver doors. Duo pushed on them and they swung open, then grabbed my arm and pulled me inside. I found myself in some sort of mess hall. There were a couple people eating at tables, a couple who waved to Duo when he came in. He spun around to face me, that grin that I loved plastered on his face.

"Hungry?" He asked. Boy, was I ever. I hadn't eaten well since the morning my mother and father were killed. That had been about three weeks, and I figured I was getting pretty damn skinny. I gave Duo a nod, even though I hardly needed to by the way I was beginning to drool looking at all that food. He chuckled and grabbed my arm again, tugging me to one of the empty tables. Once I was seated he said,

"You stay here. I'll go get us some of the good stuff. Most of stuff here is rotten anyway, it just doesn't look that way. I'll let you know what to eat and what not to eat." At that point, I really didn't care if the food I ate was rotten, just as long as it was food. Still, I gave him another nod and he took off running towards what looked to be the kitchen. I didn't noticed the smile that formed on my face as I watched him run, braid flying as if trying to keep up with him.

I lost myself in my thoughts waiting for Duo to return. I was looking around the room, at people, sometimes catching strange glancing from them, and briefly wondered if life here was better than luxury life. The people I saw seemed happier than I had ever been at the estate. Seeing them, happily chatting with their friends, it seemed much better than sitting at home, drinking tea with your legs crossed and your pinkie extended. My thoughts were interrupted my the loud sound of Duo slamming a tray of food down in front of me. My eyes descended on the food. Most of it looked edible, except for the bowl of brown liquid with little green things floating inside of it.

"What is that?" I asked, my voice in a sickened tone, one finger pointed at the liquid. Duo laughed, I guessed at my expression, and to my complete surprise he picked up the bowl and drank the substance down in one slurp.

"It's got all the vitamins you need. I have to drink one at least twice a week because they say I'm not eating well for a teenage boy." Duo said after wiping the brownish liquid off his lips with the back of his hand, then rubbing it on his pant leg. I said nothing about that. I chose to ignore that comment all together and concentrate on my food. There was two of everything on the try so I just picked out one of each, wasting no time digging in. I hardly noticed Duo sitting across from me, watching me eat with a smile on his face. I looked up at him when I was about half way done.

"Aren't you going to eat?" I asked. He gave me a questioning look and then looked down at his plate, which was still empty. He shrugged, looking away from the plate and back at me.

"I'm not really hungry. That vitamin drink should be enough until tomorrow. You can have my food if you want. You seem like you're really starving." He offered, pushing the tray towards me. I blinked, stared at him for a second before shrugging and digging in to his food as well. I ate only the things I liked, ignoring the remarks Duo gave about "not liking this" or "liking that." I told him I was a picky eater. I was.

After supper we headed back to the room, him pulling me along by the arm again, afraid I was going to run away or something. I didn't bother trying to pull away. I kind of liked the feeling of my arm in his hand. Once we got to the room he let go of my arm, pushed the door open with his knee and grabbed the sleeve of my sweatshirt, pulling me inside. I let myself be pulled, and noticed Duo held onto my arm until he got the door shut. I looked around to see Trowa staring at us through the corner of his visible eye, the other covered by his spiky bangs, and Wufei on the top bunk reading what appeared to be a book written in Chinese.

"Hey guys, lights out as soon as Heero and I get ready for bed. I need a lot of sleep tonight for that exam tomorrow." Duo announced. Wufei grunted in response and Trowa nodded, closing his eyes and lying back on his bed. The two of them were already in their night clothes, which consisted of sweat pants and gray and white T-shirts. I always slept in royal blue silk pajamas, but I guessed I'd have to improvise and or change my ways from then on.

I silently watched Duo slip off his tank top, revealing a slim chest and stomach, *so* slim his ribs were visible. Maybe those vitamins weren't enough for Duo after all. He caught me staring at him, probably wondering why I was, and his eyes suddenly lit up in awareness.

"Oh yeah, feel free to borrow some of my sleeping threads, Heero." He said. I looked away just as he was undoing his belt and walked to the drawer closest to our bunk. I opened the top drawer and looked at Duo, who pointed to the one below it. I nodded and opened the suggested drawer, and found an entire mass of sweat pants and T-shirts. I cocked an eyebrow and dug out a black T-shirt and a pair of gray sweatpants. I changed quickly, folding up my day clothes and placing them in a pile beside the bunk. After climbing on to my top bunk, which I wasn't too thrilled, about, I looked below me to see if Duo was ready for bed. He was, and looked exhausted too. That was strange. He hadn't looked tired just a few seconds ago. I reached up and rubbed my eyes, there was a lot of dust up there on that bunk.

"All right, Wufei, I'd suggest getting I reading light because I'm hitting to sack." I heard Duo say. I looked over my shoulder at Wufei, who just grunted in response for the second time that night. However, he tossed his book on the floor next to the dresser next to their bed. As soon as it hit the floor the entire room became dark with a click of the light switch. At the estate, I had lights that turned on and off when I clapped. Well, that wasn't such an enormous loss. I watched in the darkness as Duo slipped into the bed below mine, only seeing shapes and outlines in the dark. I watched until I heard the sounds of the mattress, then lied back on the pillow Duo had given me. It smelled like his hair.

I pulled the blankets up to my chin, tucking them under it as I wrapped the material securely around me. I had always slept like that, even on hot nights. I always needed a blanket around at all times. I guess it was because I just felt so exposed when I was asleep, like an assassin could just come in and stab a knife in my heart, not that I'm saying the blanket could protect me from that. It just made me feel better in some odd way. That night I thought I heard Duo whisper goodnight to me, but I was half asleep, too tired to say anything in response.

To say the least, I slept horrible that night. It was just a tiny improvement from sleeping in that cage on the boat. I woke in my sleep occasionally, covered in cold sweat. My blanket was usually around my knees, but I didn't bother to pull it back up. I was extremely tired, though it took be at least an hour to get back to sleep every time. Once I woke up having to the go the bathroom. That usually didn't happen while I was living at the estate, I wouldn't have to go until morning. It was that night I realized I could not go to sleep feeling like my bladder was going to explode. There was just one problem, I had no idea where the nearest bathroom was, and I didn't want to wake Duo, but I really had no choice. I didn't want to be stumbling around an unfamiliar hallway in the dark looking for a toilet.

Flinging my legs over the side of the bunked and letting them dangle there, I sat up and tried to focus. I was so tired and I became dizzy as I sat up. I knew that couldn't be a good sign. I hoped I wouldn't be sick the next day, except it would give me an excuse to miss my first day of school. Slowly, I lowered myself off of the bed, holding on the side of the top bunk until my feet reached the floor. I kneeled down beside Duo's bed, trying to make out what position he was in. Reaching out, I felt the back of his head, and the long braid which my fingers followed all the way to the end. Smiling slightly, I patted Duo on the back, lightly. That didn't do it.

"Duo." I whispered as loudly as I could without waking the other two boys in the room. My hand found his shoulder, and I shook him slightly. Much to my relief, I heard his mumble something and he turned over, looking at me under half closed eyelids. His face scrunched up and he yawned, rather loudly, and stretched out his arms.

"What's wrong, Heero?" He asked sleepily. I blushed, thankful he couldn't see the tint of red on my cheeks in the dark.

"I, um, have to go to the bathroom. Could you show me where it is?" I whispered. Then came Duo's grin, that ear to ear grin and that sparkle in his eyes. He chuckled slightly and pushed my shoulders, making room for him to get out of bed. I stood up and backed up towards the door, waiting for Duo lead the way. He yawned and walked over the door, swinging it open, taking my arm and escorting me out the door. His cool hand felt good on my burning skin. The thought crossed my mine that maybe I was ill after all. I wouldn't doubt it. After all, I had been stuck in a cage for two weeks with almost no food, and I had stuffed myself that night. My body was *not* reacting normally.

I kept my free hand out at my side while we were walking, making sure I wasn't going to bump into any walls. It was completely, dark, and I couldn't even see Duo walking beside me. I guess that was part of reason why he took my arm. It seemed like an eternity, at least for burning stomach, to reach the bathroom. Duo pushed open the door and clicked on the light. I had to squint my eyes because of the brightness. Once they adjusted, I looked around the bathroom. It looked like a regular public bathroom, a few stalls and a couple urinals. Duo raised an eyebrow when I went straight for a stall instead of a urinal. Well, at least I felt a lot better when I was done.

After I had cleansed my hands well, Duo led me back to the room. By then we were both wide awake, and I sighed thinking of the difficult time I would have trying to get to sleep again. While we were walking back, Duo took my hand instead of my arm. I smiled slightly, knowing that he couldn't see it in the darkness. He moved closer to me, sighing against the back of my shoulder as we walked. I could almost feel him smiling. When we finally got back into the room, Duo yawned and hopped back into his bed, stretching luxuriously. I climbed up to mine, lying back down on the uncomfortable mattress. To reduce the amount of heat to my body, I took off my shirt and threw it down at the foot of my bed, then climbed under the covers, and finally was able to sleep.

***

I guess I should say that the night of the infamous indigestion, was the last night I was able to sleep well. It was the days after that, when I began to hate love. Not Duo, but love itself. Any one who's ever been in love knows that it causes to you to act differently then you usually do, and you may not even think the same thoughts. I know for sure that I was a changed man when I fell in love with Duo. I thought that was a good thing, but I never thought of how much it would hurt if I lost that love.

It was Monday night when the assassins came.

To be continued