Song: "Bulletproof" by the Goo Goo Dolls



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Do you listen to yourself

Never live for someone else

Do you like the way you feel

Nothing hurts when no one's real

She wants to shake this scene

Yeah she wants to shake with me

She's not looking for the holes in all the lies

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The trauma room was completely silent. Carol, Doug, Benton, Malucci, Lydia, Kerry and Romano stood around the gurney in some kind of dull shock. Well, actually, only the first 5 were saddened - Romano just stood there in the awkward silence until he got bored. "Well, young doctors, it's time to visit psych," he said much too cheerfully. The three young students slowly broke their trances and followed Romano out the door.

Kerry was the next to speak. "How did this happen?" she choked, not wanting to show any emotion but finding it hard to hide her impending tears. "Where did it happen? Here, in the ER? In the parking lot, at her house, where?"

None of the doctors heard her increasingly urgent questions; they were having enough trouble remembering to breathe. Each felt like they had been punched in the stomach. Their eyes were fixed upon the gurney, watching Cleo's face for any movement, any animation at all. But there was none.

Just then the doors burst open, and one of the two burly officers stormed in. He was accompanied by Haleh, who was urging "Please, just let the doctors work!"

The officer looked at the patient, the silenced machines, and the devastated looks on the doctors' faces. "Dammit, she died," he informed the other officer. He glared at Carol. "If you had just let me get a description of the gunman before -"

Carol glared right back at him and shouted, "She wasn't even conscious when she was brought in! How dare you blame me for this! I was just doing my job!" Doug, quickly noticing Carol's anger rising, and he stepped over to her and began to usher her out of the room. Carol, however, wasn't finished. "Maybe if you had done your job, Cleo would still be alive! What makes you think any of this is my fault?!" She continued shouting as Doug led her out of the room, and everyone could still hear her as they exited through the doors.

After a moment of silence, Benton touched Cleo's face with his comparatively large hand. He closed his eyes in anguish, then stormed out of the room.

Everyone watched Benton leave except Kerry, who approached the officer. "When did this happen? Has the gunman been apprehended? Is he loose in the ER?" she asked him, her questions getting faster and faster as they came to her mind.

"It happened at about 8 o'clock - about 40 minutes ago," he answered. "It was a sniper. He had already taken several victims before she-" he gestured to Cleo's lifeless body - "and two more of your docs showed up on the scene. She was shot 3 times, but the other doctors were unharmed. I don't really know any details beyond that." His face was a mixture of grief and anger. "They had to bring her back here."

"Who were the other two doctors?" Malucci asked quietly. "And where are they?"

"Well I'm not sure about who the other doctors were, but I know that both of them returned to County," the officer answered. "Actually now that you mention it, I saw them going into the elevator on the way down to the ER. There was Dr. Finch in the gurney, and a man and a woman bringing her to the ER. I had to catch another elevator, so by the time I got to the ER Dr. Finch was already here, and the two doctors were gone." He looked around the room and peered out into the ER. "I haven't see them since."

Kerry turned around to Lydia. "Who brought Cleo down to the ER?" she asked.

Lydia pondered for a moment. "I.I'm not really sure," she said dejectedly. "When I got here, Benton and Chuny were the only ones working on her. It seemed strange at the time, to have only one nurse and one surgical consult, but then Benton had Randi page Luka, Carter, Abby, Lucy, Chen, and Malucci." She glanced at Malucci. "And only Malucci showed up."

Something wasn't adding up to Kerry. "I'm going to find them and find out what happened," she said as she started to leave the trauma. She seemed unusually composed, but as she opened the trauma doors by shoving her cane into them forcefully, everyone could see how deeply she was suffering.

The room was silent. Suddenly Malucci sprang into life, knocking into a tray as he rushed to leave the trauma room. Lydia and the officer were respectfully quiet, until Lydia decided to get some facts. "How many victims were there total?" she asked. "And why weren't they sent along with Cleo?"

"The last I'd heard, there were 12 injured," the officer responded, then grimaced as he looked down at Cleo. "And one dead. They brought everyone but Dr. Finch to Mercy. One of the last things Dr. Finch said before she lost consciousness was to bring her here, to County."

"But how could they get all the victims to Mercy safely? Wouldn't it have been a better idea to send a few criticals here, instead of all of them to Mercy?" Lydia was still confused.

"There was no need to transfer any patients to County," the officer told her. "The shootings occurred at Mercy."

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I want to bulletproof your soul

Would you like to lose control

I won't let you fall until you tell me so

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".Happy birthday dear Angela, happy birthday to you!" The room burst into applause as the four waiters finished their song. A beaming woman stared into the cake that the waiters had given her during their song and smiled at the man she was with, who smiled back. She then took a deep breath and blew out the candles. The room applauded again, and the woman smiled and kissed the man she was with. Everyone in the restaurant went back to their meals as the waiters took the cake back into the kitchen to be sliced, and the couple didn't end their kiss until the cake was brought back out again.

"Oh, Mark," Elizabeth Corday said dreamily, "Look at that couple over there. They seem to love each other so much. Just look at them!" she exclaimed, pointing Mark towards the couple, who were now playfully smearing frosting on each others noses. Elizabeth sighed happily. A year ago she would have been incredibly jealous of the couple, but as she moved her gaze from the couple to Mark Greene, who was sitting across the table, she knew how good she had it. She loved being with Mark. She loved spending every waking second with him, and now that they were vacationing in New York together, she had realized that she wanted to spend the rest of her life with him. He was the only man in the world who could make her happy. She gazed at him lovingly, silently thanking God for Mark's very existence.

Mark, meanwhile, was scarfing down an enormous steak, hardly stopping to breathe. All week he had been aching for a good steak, and somehow the cafeteria steak at County didn't fulfill his need. But now that he and Elizabeth were vacationing in New York, he could stop focusing on the daily struggles of the fast paced ER and on relaxing - and consuming steak.

Obviously he wanted to be with Elizabeth also; after all, it was their one- year anniversary. He loved her with all his heart, and he didn't know where he would be without her. Never before had he felt this strongly about a woman this far into the relationship. In fact, he had been contemplating asking Elizabeth to marry him in the spring. He had suggested New York City for their long-awaited vacation; not because he loved the city, but because he knew that Elizabeth had always dreamed of going there. *The two best parts of my life, here at the table with me,* he thought happily. *Elizabeth, and steak.* He chuckled at his shallow thought.

"Mark, you're going to choke if you eat it that quickly," laughed Elizabeth, placing her elbows on the table and folding her hands under her chin. "And I'm not in the mood for yet another resuscitation!"

Mark looked up at her, his cheeks bulging. "Mmmph-fff?" he asked with his mouth full.

Elizabeth laughed again. "You're disgusting!" she giggled playfully. Mark attempted to smile despite his full mouth. He leaned across the table and jokingly puckered up for a kiss. "Eww, no!" Elizabeth shrieked.

Mark finally swallowed his food. "What, you don't love me anymore?" He pretended to be hurt. Unable to keep the frown on his face, he smiled at her momentarily, and then turned back to his steak. His stomach churned at the prospect of finishing the giant steak, but he knew that after the fuss he had put up about eating steak that night, he felt obligated to finish it. He glanced at Elizabeth's untouched salad, and looked at her questioningly. "Not hungry?" he asked.

"If you hadn't been so involved in your steak," teased Elizabeth, "you would have noticed that I'd already polished off my meal, and that I'd ordered an extra salad." She took a bite of the salad, then flinched in disgust. "And that they'd used the wrong dressing."

Mark smiled, and cocked his head slightly. "Want some steak?" he asked, grinning.

Elizabeth burst into laughter. "No thank you," she responded, still laughing. Usually she only felt this light-hearted when she was drunk, but she noticed that she was acted so much happier when she was with Mark. He brought out the best in her.

All of a sudden, Elizabeth gasped and reached for her cellular phone. "Oh my God, I forgot to check my messages!" she exclaimed as she dialed the number to her machine and put the phone to her ear.

Mark looked at her skeptically. "You want to make a call to Chicago on your cell? That's going to cost a fortune," he told her in his classically frugal manner.

Elizabeth stuck her tongue out at him as she continued to listen to the phone. "I'm expecting a call from Romano about a patient," she informed Mark. He made a gagging noise and Elizabeth shushed him.

"What would you do about it here?" Mark asked.

"Nothing.I just want to know if the patient made it, and." she trailed off as she listened to a message intently, and growing more and more pale by the second. Mark looked at her, concerned.

"Elizabeth, what is it?" When she didn't answer, he leaned in towards her. "Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth slowly closed the phone and looked at Mark. "What is it?" Mark asked again.

A look of horror and shock was fixed on her face. "We've got to go back to Chicago," she said simply.

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What are we

(Whatcha wanna be)

Everything

(Thatcha wanna be)

All I need

(Right in front of me)

I've known before

--------------------------------

"Step lively, young doctors," Romano commanded. They were hustling through the halls of psych, not stopping in any rooms or to talk to any doctors. *The sooner I finish up this tour, the better,* Romano thought. He despised the fact that he had allowed Kerry to convince him to give the stupid tour. It was very out of the ordinary for Romano to do a favor for anyone, especially Kerry. But as soon as Kerry had mentioned that one of the students was the son of the Head of Surgery, Dr. Herrington, in a large hospital in California, Romano had suddenly felt very generous. To do such a favor would further his career in ways he could only dream. Perhaps he could finally leave this hospital and move on to bigger and better things. He looked at the handsome young student and pushed back the doubt he had in the student's medical skills. He needed to be as nice to Herrington as humanly possible if he ever wanted to work in California.

The only thing keeping him in Chicago was.her. He closed his eyes when he thought of her: her beautiful curly hair, her voice that was the most lovely sound Romano had ever heard, the fire in her eyes as she protested everything Romano said. Elizabeth Corday was the only woman he considered his equal, and the only woman worthy enough of his affection. He was in love with her.

Snapping back to attention after slamming into a gurney in the hallway, he thought about where he could possibly bring the students now. *I've taken them everywhere in this damn hospital,* he thought irritably. He turned to the students and threw up his hands. "Any questions?" he asked.

The female student raised her hand timidly. "Where's Ben?" she asked.

Puzzled, Romano cocked his head. "And who is Ben?" he inquired.

"Ben Herrington.the fourth student," answered one of the male students.

Shocked that he had let his investment disappear, Romano started to yell. "I thought you were Herrington!" he cried.

"Uh, no," the student said sheepishly.

"How should I know where he is? Why didn't any of you tell me that he was missing earlier?!" Romano cried.

"I tried to," said the male student. "You weren't listening."

Romano angrily stepped over to him, and even though he was at least 6 inches shorter than the student, he still appeared to tower over him. "You did nothing of the kind," he snapped. "I would have heard you if you had tried to tell me that Herrington was missing!"

The student looked as if he was about to defend himself again, and he would have had not a surgical nurse walked up behind Romano and, her eyes widening and her arms waving frantically, mouthing "No! Give up!!" The student closed his mouth and, gritting his teeth, said "Sorry, Dr. Romano."

Satisfied that he had broken yet another youthful spirit, Romano whirled around and started barking orders. "Now we need to find Mr. Herrington. Any idea where he might be?"

The female student spoke up again. "Um, I think he went to sit in the waiting area during the trauma, Dr. Romano."

Romano could feel himself growing infuriated. The one thing he could NOT stand was incompetence, and these students reeked of incompetence. "And why didn't you tell me that while I was talking with -" he searched for the male student's name tag, but realized that he didn't care - "this guy?"

The female student studied the tiles on the floor as she searched for an answer. "Well, um, you.I."

Romano threw his hands up exasperatedly. "It doesn't matter now," he said with a twinge of cruel sarcasm. "Let's just go find young Mr. Herrington, shall we?"

---------------------------------------------

Would you come my way

Or did you burn out to the end

Would you come my way

Should have listened when you called my name

---------------------------------------------

Kerry buried her face in her hands and wept. She was sitting outside the ER entrance, her cane leaning against the wall next to her. She had been brave while questioning the officer, fighting the tears she was sure would come at any second, and still had to be brave when the entire staff wanted to know about the situation. But now.the tears flowed rapidly as she completely unraveled outside County General.

The fact that so many doctors had failed to answer their pagers made her angry, but it also unnerved her. Five of her most reliable doctors and med students had suddenly become unavailable. She knew that they all had showed up to work that day; they had all worked on the 16 car pile-up together. So why all of a sudden had they stopped responding to their pagers?

Kerry swallowed a sob and lifted her head. She had scoured the ER looking for John Carter, Lucy Knight, Deb Chen, Abby Lockhart, and Luka Kovac, but to no avail. She had begun to search the rest of the hospital but had suddenly become too weak to continue through County's halls. Her emotions had gotten the best of her, and as she wept outside the ER doors she mourned the loss of Cleo Finch. She had a strange maternal instinct about the younger doctors at County, a feeling that was usually accompanied by Mark Greene's paternal instinct. But Mark was in New York, leaving Kerry to face this all alone. She just didn't have the strength.

While Cleo's death and the sudden disappearance of a portion of the ER staff weighed heavily on her mind, Kerry was also concerned about the information the officer had given her. He had mentioned that Cleo and two other doctors had arrived at the trauma, but he had failed to mention what had happened with the other doctors. She wanted to presume that they had returned safely, and that after they had brought Cleo to the ER they had simply been called away. But nothing was ever that simple at County General.

Kerry thought hard. The officer had said that the other doctors had been a man and a woman. There were currently two men and three women who had disappeared. The man had either been Carter or Luka, and seeing how Kerry hadn't seen either of them since the pile-up, she didn't know which one had gone to Mercy for the trauma. Of the three women, Abby and Lucy were med students, and Kerry couldn't imagine that Carter or Dave would allow their pretty young students attend an area where there was a sniper. So Chen must have gone.

*Unless, of course, Carter was the man who went, in which case he would probably bring Lucy along for instructional reasons,* Kerry thought. She closed her eyes in confusion. There were so many possibilities, but only one answer. And apparently, there was no way to get the answer. No one in the ER seemed to know who had gone to the trauma - Kerry had asked every person she had seen.

Suddenly Lydia's words came back to her. "When I got here, Benton and Chuny were the only ones working on her. It seemed strange at the time to have only one nurse and one surgical consult, but then Benton had Randi page Luka, Carter, Abby, Lucy, Chen, and Malucci."

*Benton and Chuny had been the first ones to work on Cleo,* Kerry thought. *They must know who the two doctors had been.* Suddenly rejuvenated, Kerry stood up, reached for her cane, and headed into County to find Chuny and Benton.

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Yeah she wants to tear you down

Then she leaves without a sound

It's like falling backwards into no one's arms

So I'll bulletproof my soul

And I'll never let you know

I won't let you fall until you let it go

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The ER was silent. No patients had been brought in since Cleo, so the ER was still, with the ever-present air of grief. Lydia, Haleh, Yosh, and Malucci were seated in the lounge, not speaking. The coffeepot beeped twice, but one seemed to notice. Each person was absorbed in his or her own emotions and feelings.

Yosh broke the silence by letting out a sob that he hadn't been able to hold in. "She didn't deserve this," he sniffed. "This shouldn't have happened."

"Who the hell would be sick enough to shoot innocent people from the top of a building?" Haleh said in disgust.

"I just can't believe that it happened at Mercy," Lydia mused. "I know it's across town.but still, it seems too close for comfort. I don't know why."

"Probably because it's another hospital," Haleh told her.

"Or because they killed one of our doctors," Malucci spoke up angrily.

The nurses all looked at him, shocked. Finally Lydia spoke again. "So he's been caught, right? Did they catch him?"

"The officer wasn't sure, and on the news it said that he was still at large," Yosh answered, still trying not to cry.

"They haven't caught the son of a bitch?!" cried Malucci. "How hard could it be?! It's one guy!"

"Cleo was the last one shot," Haleh informed Malucci. "They think he fled after that."

"Probably got scared after shooting a doctor," Lydia commented.

Suddenly the lounge door opened and Kerry stormed in. "Is Chuny in here?" she inquired.

"Nope," answered Malucci.

"Then where is she?!" Kerry was exasperated. "And Benton?" Seeing everyone's blank looks, Kerry asked, "Well has anyone seen Carter, and Lucy, and Abby, and Luka, and Deb-"

"Jing-Mei," everyone corrected her.

"Whatever!" Kerry said, stressed. "If you see any of them then tell them that I'm looking for them." Frustrated, she stormed out of the room and slammed the door behind her. The group looked at each other, puzzled.

"Yeah right, like I'd ever sacrifice a friend to someone like Festus," Malucci muttered. Lydia chuckled, and so did Haleh and Yosh. The chuckles turned to giggles, and the giggles quickly turned to laughter. Even Malucci, unaware that his comment had been funny at all, started to laugh with them. The tension in the room was broken as the four laughed their hearts out; how good it felt to smile again! *Cleo would have been laughing the hardest,* Malucci thought, *she always thought the name Festus was suiting to Weaver.* The mere thought of Cleo stopped Malucci's laughter and caused his huge smile to slowly fade. Cleo would never be able to laugh at his jokes again. She wouldn't be able to laugh at anything.

One by one, the nurses noticed Malucci's somber expression and stopped laughing. They seemed to realize why they were there all of a sudden. The grim cloud hung over the ER once again.

Lydia finally spoke. "I wonder where everyone is," she asked to no one in particular.

"Carter doesn't ditch shifts," Haleh said, then glared at Malucci momentarily. "Unlike some people." Malucci didn't even notice, but if he had he wouldn't have rebutted the comment anyway. He wasn't in the mood.

"Lucy doesn't ditch, either, and I know that Luka and Jing-Mei would rather die than ditch a shift," Lydia said.

"But who knows about Abby.after all, she IS Dave's student," Haleh teased, obviously trying to get a rise out of Malucci. But again, Malucci was lost in his own thoughts.

"Abby's a good student; she wouldn't ditch," Yosh defended both Malucci and Abby with his comment.

"Then where is she?" Haleh asked. "And everyone else, for that matter?"

"Wait a second," Lydia said, suddenly urgent. "The officer said that Cleo and two other doctors arrived at Mercy in the chopper. Cleo was the last one out, and when she was shot they brought her back here. He didn't know what happened to the other doctors. Maybe they left the others behind."

"No way," argued Malucci, finally broken from his trance. "They wouldn't have left anybody behind. Even if Cleo was hurt they would have tried to stabilize her until the other doctors finished with their patients, or they would have forced the other doctors to come along. No way would they have just left." He sat back into the sofa, satisfied by his answer but unsettled by the situation.

"What else did the officer say?" asked Haleh, ignoring Malucci. "Did he say who the doctors were?"

"He didn't know," responded Lydia. "All he said was that it was one man and one woman."

"It's not Abby," Malucci retorted. "She didn't tell me that she was going."

"It's got to be Carter and Lucy," said Haleh. "It's the only combination that fits."

"It could be anyone," Yosh murmured. "We don't know that Carter and Lucy are the only combination that fits."

The room was quiet again. One doctor was dead and five were missing, two of which were potentially dead or injured. And underneath the dread, there was also an element of fear. If this could happen to their friends.then what was keeping THEM safe?

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What are we

(Whatcha wanna be)

Everything

(Thatcha wanna be)

All I need

(Right in front of me)

I've known before

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The surgery was dark and silent. There were no surgical patients today, so the table was cold and the surgical tools were clean and shiny. Dr. Anspaugh looked in through the windows, and put his forehead against the glass as he wished that Cleo had made it to this room. She would have lived if it weren't for the wound in her back. Anspaugh had known little about Peter Benton's and Cleo Finch's relationship, but he had seen all he needed to know in Benton's eyes as he had passed him in the hall. Anspaugh sighed. Watching over all these doctors like an overseeing patriarch was exhausting.

Suddenly Anspaugh noticed a movement in the dark room. Lifting his head from the window, he entered the room and saw Dr. Peter Benton sitting in a chair in a dark corner. His shoulders were slumped, and his bent head snapped to attention upon hearing Anspaugh enter the room. Quickly he began to speak. "Oh, I'm sorry, Dr. Anspaugh, I didn't know you had a surgery in here. I was just." Benton was at a loss for words to describe what he was doing in the room. "Mourning" and "grieving" didn't really describe it.

Anspaugh shook his head and put his hands in his pockets. "No surgery, Peter. I just wanted to know how you were doing." When Peter hung his head again and didn't respond, Anspaugh continued. "I know how hard this must be for you. The important thing to know is that there was nothing you or I or anyone else in that ER could do."

There was a long pause before Benton spoke again. "It keeps happening," he murmured.

Anspaugh bent down a little. "What did you say?" he asked.

"It keeps happening," Benton repeated. "I've lost every woman I've ever had. And every time I'm with a new woman I love her more than the last. I had just started to love Cleo even more than I loved Elizabeth. And then she leaves me." He knew he shouldn't be pouring his heart out like this, but Anspaugh was practically his father. He trusted him.

Anspaugh remained standing, deep in thought. "Cleo didn't leave you," he said. "She was taken from you."

Peter lifted his head angrily. "Left, taken, whatever. She's gone. And she didn't fight."

"What do you mean?" Anspaugh asked.

"I tell my patients to stay with me, to fight," Benton explained mournfully. "She didn't fight. I guess I wasn't worth fighting for."

Anspaugh sighed. Had the sorrowful man in front of him been anyone but Peter Benton, Anspaugh might have a chance to talk some sense into him. But when Benton had an idea in his head, no one could change his mind. "I'm sorry you feel that way," Anspaugh said softly. "I hope that someday you'll realize how wrong you are about that." Anspaugh took one last look at Benton, then left the broken-hearted man alone in the cold, dark surgery room.

-------------------------------------

Would you come my way

Or did you burn out to the end

Would you come my way

Should have listened when you called my name

-------------------------------------

The door opened with a "click" as Carol and Doug entered their apartment. The ride home had been silent; neither Carol nor Doug really wanted nor needed to talk about the weary day. Carol had calmed down as soon as they had left the ER, and Doug had become stone-faced as soon as Carol's angry face had begun to soften. His square jaw was locked angrily, and at times during the ride home Carol thought he had heard his teeth grinding. Carol had stopped being so angry with the officer; she was now angered at the injustice of life. Sometimes she hated her line of work. She felt uncomfortably helpless when she knew someone could not be helped. When that person happened to be someone she knew.it created a fear alongside the helplessness. Carol hated to be afraid, and she hated to be helpless.

Carol knew that Doug felt the same way. Like any other doctor, he despised losing patients. Carol also knew that he and Cleo, both pediatricians, had become friends. Doug seemed to be feeling an emotion between grief and fury, and his serious face was naturally portraying the latter. She didn't even have to talk to him to know how he felt - she could read his eyes like no one else could.

Doug collapsed into the sofa, and Carol dropped her purse and her coat next to him as she headed into the nursery. It was days like these that made coming home to her girls so much sweeter. Holding her daughters in her arms was the best therapy she should ever receive, and right now she needed it more than ever.

Suddenly Carol's mother rushed out of the nursery. "Shhhh!" she hushed. "The girls are asleep."

Disappointed that she had gotten home too late to put the girls to bed, Carol walked back into the living room and sat on the sofa next to Doug. "How were they, Ma?" she whispered.

"They were angels, perfect little angels, just like always," Mrs. Hathaway said in her slight accent. "After you didn't come home when you said you would be home, I just put them to bed myself. Why were you so late? You said this morning that you getting home at 6. It's almost -" she checked her watch - "9:00!" Seeing Carol's worried expression at the thought that the girls were up late, Mrs. Hathaway quickly added, "I put them to bed at 7:30, don't worry. They weren't up too late."

A period of silence followed as Carol leaned back into the sofa, Doug rubbed his eyes with his forefinger and thumb, and the two finally felt the relief of being home.

"What happened at work today, Carol?" Mrs. Hathaway asked. "Why did you stay so late?"

Carol contemplated for a moment before answering. There was too much to say and she was too tired to say it. "Big trauma at the last minute, Ma."

Her mother raised one eyebrow. "3 hour trauma?"

Carol sighed. "No, it was only 20 minutes ago. Before it I." her eyes lowered, "I stayed with a patient."

Mrs. Hathaway shook her head. "There are so many people at that hospital who don't have little babies to come home to," she said. "Why did they make you stay?"

Carol sighed again; her mother wouldn't be happy until she got the whole story. "It was my patient. And the trauma was a doctor who got hurt. She was shot.no one else was there to help." Her eyes rose and flashed as the mention of the day's happenings brought the anger back in an instant.

"How is she doing?" Mrs. Hathaway was very interested now. "Who shot her? Was it at the hospital?" Her eyes became pitted with worry. "Carol, why would you stay so long when there is danger at the hospital? You could have been shot too -"

"Ma, I'm fine," Carol said crossly. "The shootings were across town. And no, the doctor isn't fine, she didn't make it. She died."

"Oh, no." Mrs. Hathaway looked stricken. "Was she a friend?"

"Well.I didn't really get a chance to know her. I guess I do consider her my friend, though." Quickly she added, "She and Doug were very close. They worked together most of the time. She was a pediatrician too."

Mrs. Hathaway glanced at Doug, who hadn't said a word all evening. Then she turned back to Carol. "Well, sweetie, I'm very sorry for what happened to your friend. I should be getting home now." She headed towards the door, kissing Carol on the forehead as she left. "I'll see you later." With that, she left the apartment.

The apartment was silent. Carol stared straight ahead, as Doug stared straight down. The room was crowded with the same grim atmosphere as was present in the ER. Becoming increasingly uncomfortable with the tension, Carol finally spoke. "I can't even imagine what Peter's going through right now," she commented. "He must be a wreck."

Doug finally spoke, keeping his eyes lowered. "It should have been me, Carol," he said quietly.

Shocked, Carol looked at Doug. "What?"

"It was my shift," Doug explained. "Cleo offered to take the last hour of it so I could go find you. If I had stayed for the last hour of my shift then Cleo would be alive right now."

"And you would be dead," Carol said gently. She moved closer to Doug and turned his face towards hers. "You shouldn't be angry with yourself, and you shouldn't feel guilty about anything. What happened was not your fault. That hour saved your life." The tiny smile returned in her eyes. "Think of what you would lose - what the girls and I would lose." A moment of silence passed, then Carol continued. "My girls won't grow up without a father. I feel terrible for Cleo and her family, and Peter, but I am so grateful that it wasn't you."

Doug looked into her eyes and hugged her. Both exchanged a simultaneous sigh as they tried to make the pain go away and the relief set in a little more. Doug held Carol tighter, and silently thanked Cleo for saving his life - all 4 of them.

---------------------------------------

Would you come my way

Or did you burn out to the end

Would you come my way

Should have listened when you called my name

---------------------------------------

A man lay unconscious in a pool of his own blood. His arms and his legs were sprawled in unnatural positions; the positions a body takes when a mind cannot control it. His chest rose and fell, and the gash across the back of his head flowed bright red blood, which spilled across the tiled floor and under the metal gurney. Faint light lit his face for a moment, then it disappeared as another person quickly exited the dark room, dropping a bloody cane into the trash can outside the room, and heading up County's stairs. Now the unconscious man lay alone in the cold, dark room, and the air still smelled of formaldehyde. It was just like a tomb.

------------------------------------------

Should have listened when you called my name

Should have listened when you called my name

Should have listened when you called my name

--------------------------------------------