"The Legend of The Great Malezzo!"

by The Almighty Oracle aka Guadalupe del Oceano

Rating PG-13

Summary: A story about The Great Malezzo the bullfighter. A charcter From The Gold and Glory The Road to El Dorado Computer and Playstation game. I thought he was so funny I decided to write his story down and add a little of my own flare. WARNING GAME SPOILERS!

Spain 1519 (A week or two before the depatrture of Hernan Cortes)

It was chilly that evening in Barcelona, and it was hard to keep the cold outside and the fireplace burning in the little tavern by the sea. "Esta muy frio!" exclaimed Tulio as he and Miguel entered the tavern. "Well it would help if you two wore coats." said Esmerelda. She took Tulio by the arm and led him to the table next to the fire palce. "There, is that better?" she asked giving him a little hug. "uh huh."He smiled at her. Lolita saw Esmerelda hitting on Tulio and she wasn't going to let her get away with it that easy. "Hi Tulio!" exclaimed Lolita. "Oh you look cold." She sat on his lap and put her arms around his neck "I could fix that for you." Tulio gave her a look "Oh could you?" Lolita smiled and Esmerelda's rage and jelousy was about to blow. "Hey wench! Top me off will ya sweetheart?" a burly farmer called from the end of the room. Lolita gave a look to him "Can't you see I'm busy ya drunk!?" she turned her attention back to Tulio. "Sorry cutie. Duty calls."Lolita went to fill up the guys drinks, just so they could be downed five minuets later. Lupe came out of the kitchen and noticed poor Miguel who was sitting at the bar all wet from the snow. "Oh my poor baby." Miguel turned to see Lupe. "Hi Lupe." he kissed her "ohh that was cold you better sit next to the fireplace with Tulio to warm up." She took him over to the table, took off his wet scarf and hung it over the fireplace. '"We don't want you catching cold now do we?" "No I guess not." he took her hand and looked up to her. "So what do you guys want to drink." Lupe asked, her eyes not leaving Miguel's. "Just two beers I think." said Tulio. "Ok I'll be right back with them." "Don't keep me waiting." said Miguel as he kissed her hand. Lupe smiled, she loved it when he was romantic. "Hey how come they get to sit next to the fiireplace while we're freezing our asses?" The same annoying farmer asked. "Because they have better manners then you buster." Lupe yelled as she went to the kitchen.

"Make way for I am the great Malezzo!" a tall and scrawny matador walked in with a girl on each arm. "Now where is my seat, the graet Malezzo's table?" He walked over to Miguel and Tulio's table "This must be it! Malezzo exclaimed. "For it is the best in the house next to the fireplace, but what's this? Two street rats are sitting at my table." Tulio stood up "Watch it buddy!" "You better mind your tounge young man. Or The great Malezzo will have to teach you a lesson." Miguel stood up next to his friend in defence. "I'd like to see you try." Malezzo looked in discust. "Don't you know who I am?" "Remind us." said Tulio sarcastically. "I am the great Malezzo,"he scoffed. "I am the best bullfighter in all of Spain for I have defeated El Diablo himself." "The Devil?" "Si Señor, in his bovine form!" "Ah." "Well." said Tulio "We were here first and we're not moving." Malezzo looked furious. "That's it! Who is the owner of this tavern? Come on speak up!" Lupe stepped out of the kitchen with Miguel and Tulio's beers. "I am." She placed Miguel and Tulio's drinks on their table. Miguel was still standing, glaring at Malezzo. "What is the problem señor?" Lupe asked "What's the problem. I'll tell you what the problem is! These two bilge rats are sitting at my table." "And who said this was your table?" "Ugh! Don't you know I am the great Malezzo the best bull fighter in all of Spain!"he scoffed "So I've heard." "I see that my reputation proceedes me!" Malezzo smiled. "No I just heard it from you, now, numerously." "Lolita walked over to see what all the comotion was about. "Why don't you just sit somewhere else?"Asked Lolita. "Why because I am a celebrity and should be treated as such!" "Well he's my boyfriend and he and his friend get to sit here so just take another seat or leave." said Lupe. Miguel put his arm around her. "Oh I see how it is, sleep with the owner and get special attention. Well, I'll just wait alittle while I'm sure this whore will change her mind." "What did you call me?" Lupe face was red she was really pissed now. Lupe turned to Esmerelda. "Here hold me back." Esmerelda took Lupe's arm. Lupe turned back to the self-absorbed matador "You're lucky she's holding me back!!!!" "I grow weary of this. Are you going to give me the respect which is my due or not? Lupe looked at him in disbelief . "GET OUT!" "I'll assist if you need an escort." Said Miguel cracking his knuckels. "No need to go through any trouble I wouldn't eat in this dump if my life depended on it!" Said Malezzo as he strutted out the door. "Grrrr! Some people I swear! He must have been raised in a barn with the bulls he fights!" Miguel put his arm around her. "Hey calm down it's over." "I don't know Miguel, I don't think we've seen the last of Malezzo."

The next day was warmer then yesterday and Miguel and Tulio were walking in the town when they noticed Malezzo "I am the great Malezzo!" Just then they saw about 5 women look out the windows swooning at the sight of Malezzo."He's so dreamy!' said one "He's so brave!" said another. Miguel and Tulio decided to ignor him when they noticed a large pen at the end of an alley on the next block. A man was standing near it. "Excuse me what's in there?" asked Tulio. "Why in there is El Diablo the biggest and meanest bull in Spain." "Really?" "yes" said the man. "and he never forgets a face." Tulio smiled to Miguel. "You know you look hungry how about you let us guard the bull for awhile." said Miguel. "Well I am hungry but, I don't know..." Tulio droped a few pesatas on the ground and cleared his throat. "I hear you loud and clear señor. I'll be back in what an hour?" "Yeah sure that's good." Miguel whispered and the man happily walked off. "What are you going to do Tulio? Tulio looked over to his partner. "Ok here's the plan you stay here and wait for my signal then I'll go over to Malezzo and and say we have a gift for him, you know like an appology. Then when he comes over here...well... I think you know the rest." "Got it Tulio." Tulio left the alley and went over to Malezzo "Excuse me." "Oh you again! What do you want you filthy mongrel?" "Tulio kept his cool after the insult." "Well I just wanted to appologize for yesterday at the tavern. You were right, your the local hero you should have gotten our table." "Of course I should have! I am the great Malezzo after all!" "yeah a great pain in my ass" thought Tulio. "Well Miguel and I got you a little gift to show that we are sincere in our appology." "Really?" "Yes but you have to close your eyes and follow me." "Well ok. Your intentions should not go unoticed." Tulio led Malezzo to the alley. "Can I open them yet?" asked Malezzo "No not yet." Tulio winked at Miguel. Miguel lifted the heavy wooden bar that held the pen closed Tulio helped him. "Wait let me get a crowd I want them to see your gift. I am the Great Malezzo!" Just then more women looked out the window to see the famous matador. "Oh Malezzo!" Miguel looked at Malezzo, who was covering his eyes, in astonishment "How does he do that?!" exclaimed Miguel. The bar across the gates was finnaly free, and so was El Diablo. The bull was five feet tall and was the biggest bull anyone had ever seen. The bull snorted at the ground and clawed at the dirt with his hooves. "You can open your eyes now Malezzo." said Tulio. Malezzo opened his eyes and found himself face to face with El Diablo! Malezzo let out a girlish shriek and ran for his dear life! "El Diablo dosen't forget a face." siad Miguel. Malezzo ran through the town flailing his arms in the air and screaming, the bull was in hot persuit. Malezzo ran down the street and past the tavern evreyone one in the various shops and resturants stepped outside to see the great Malezzo being chased by a bull. Lupe, Esmerelda, and Lolita in the tavern took one look outside, and couldn't stop laughing. "He dosen't look so great to me!" said Esmerelda. "And I bet I know just the two guys who would pull off this stunt."

Meanwhile Miguel and Tulio were on their way to the tavern they also couldn't stop laughing. "Did you see his face he looked like he was going to wet his fancy pants!" said Miguel "It wasn't as funny as his scream! He sounded like a girl!" Lupe greeted them and gave Miguel and Tulio free beers and they both got kisses from the girls. The two toasted another glorious victory.

THE END