Commercial for Christian Kane's new album.

On Seventh Heaven--who cares?

Richard Harris dressed up in a wizard's robe in a Harry Potter
commercial. [Richard Harris--remember that name. You have been
warned.]

Followed, of course, by a Wizards of the Coast Harry Potter game
commercial.

Followed by a LOTR movie commercial.

The evil Lady Luck in another evil Virginia State Lottery
commercial. Evil, I tell you.

---

In Wesley's laboratory, Wesley is in a lab coat and breath
mask. Angel stands by the door, somewhat bemused.

"There's only about one thing this could be. If this turns red,
I'll be sure." He uses an eyedropper to add a reagent to a
beaker. Yes, Wesley is right. "Would you like to look? I wouldn't
breathe any of this in, however."

"Not my problem, Wes."

Wesley walks to the telephone and dials an 11-digit number.

"Magic Box. How may I help you?" It's Tara's voice.

"Hello. Is Mr. Giles there, perhaps?"

"I'm sorry, sir. May I take a message?"

"Please tell him that Wesley Wyndham-Price needs to speak with
him straight away."

"Oh. Willow told me about you. I'm sorry, but Mister Giles isn't
in at the moment. We're all a bit shaky here this month. Xander
and Anya are with him now. Willow's in class."

"Is he ill?"

"He's depressed. We all are."

"You have our sympathy, you know. Excuse me, but you are--"

"Tara. Willow's friend."

Wesley's eyes go wide, but he sticks to business. "Look, I need
some iludium powder, and right away."

"Iludium powder? That's pretty dangerous stuff. Worse than
cocaine in many ways."

"Well, somebody's using it to control a pretty nasty demon, and
we may need it ourselves to break that control."

"Let me look. We have it locked away, but--yes. We only have
about 15 grams."

"Could I purchase 10 of them? I want to brew up the same potion."

"Well, I'd prefer to ask Mr. Giles, but--okay. However, I don't
trust any courier services. You'll have to come down here."

"I understand. I'll be there in two hours." He hangs up.

"Angel, hold the fort for a moment." Wesley leaves, and Angel
turns off a Bunsen burner, burning himself slightly. We hear a
motorcycle revving.

---

Virginia and Clarence are dining in a private room at a fancy
French restaurant. We see a waiter leaving the room and closing
the door.

"I do love you so, Virginia." It's a particularly wooden
delivery, reminiscent of a certain exiled character on a related
television show.

"I love you, Clar--I can't wait for tomorrow." And this sounds so
insincere that it reminds one of Gary Condit,or someone who wants
to escape a family from Hell.

---

Back at the Hyperion, just before sunset, Wesley rushes through
the front door. Winifred whistles as he pulls off his helmet,
while Gunn calls out, "Lady-killer."

"That's what we're trying to avoid, Gunn."

"So, what are you going to do with that stuff?"

"I will try to make some Divza attractant."

"We don't want to attract the Divza, Wesley. We want them gone!"

"Gunn, they're already going to be attracted to the bride. We
want to distract them. I'm going to make up some vials of this
stuff; you can use your judgement on how to lure them away."

Wesley rushes off.

---

More montage:

Wesley giving Fred a stoppered vial.

Workmen setting up a party tent at a park, delivery men putting
up a marriage altar, florists (including Fred) delivering vases,
trees, and decorations.

Josephus and a burly guard driving an armored car into the
park. We hear nasty noises from in back.

A seamstress making final adjustments on Virginia's gown, and Bob
Florenthal pinning her corsage on her. (Her father is nowhere
around. I wonder why?)

Clarence looking a bit green.

Limos parking in back of the tent.

Photographers snapping pictures of the guests.

The CEO taking her seat.

One last limo pulling in.

---

In the last limo, we see Gunn in the driver's seat, wearing his
rented uniform. Wesley sits next to him. He presses an intercom
button.

"Are you both okay back there?"

"Just peachy. I'm trying to keep Angel out of the champaigne."

"Cordy. The tinted windows are doing their job, Gunn."

"Wes, what are we waiting for?"

"A bellow of rage. A storm. I'm not quite sure."

"Oh, great."

---

A string quartet finishes aplaying, and a keyboardist takes their
place. There's some shuffling in back, and we see the bridal
party waiting to march up the aisle. The CM&W CEO hits a button on
a cell phone. At Josephus' armored car, his cell phone beeps in
reply. Josephus hits a button on the steering wheel, and the rear
doors of the car open. Three Divza shuffle out; they are
angry. As they leave, the sky gets supernaturally cloudy. They
sniff around, turn, and head off toward the wedding tent.

---

People in the wedding tent look a bit concerned as the sky
darkens. Meanwhile, bridesmaids, attendants, family members (but
not Magnus Bryce), the maid of honor, the best man, and the groom
proceed up the aisle. It starts raining. It never rains in
Southern California!

Finally, the bride proceeds up the aisle to the altar. The music
stops, and we see the wedding ceremony we're all familiar
with. Lightning begins to flash, as the minister asks the couple
to pledge its vows. On the side, Fred edges toward the wedding
tent from the dining area. It's now fully dark. Wesley tells the
others to get ready.

"Do you, Clarence O'Connell, take this woman as your wife, to
have and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you
part?"

"I do."

"Do you, Virginia Bryce, take this man as your husband, to have
and to hold, in sickness and in health, 'till death do you part?"

Before she answers, everyone hears evil howls as three green
monsters with yellow wattles barge through the rear of the
wedding tent. Clarence takes one look and runs away. The
monsters head up the wedding aisle as the people flee. The CEO
gets knocked over by some of the fleeing guests,and her cell
phone is trampled by the crowd. Virginia just stands at the
altar; she picks up a vase and prepares to fight.

Wesley and the others pile out of the car; they're all armed in
their favorite fashion. They charge the wedding tent.

Suddenly, Fred unstops her vial and runs across the path of the
Divza. The smell of the vial causes the Divza to follow her, and
she leads them in a chase, out the wedding tent into the food
area.

Wesley's group follow the chase, but Fred is too fast; they can't
catch up to either her or the Divza. Meanwhile, some of the
crowd regains its nerve; people pick up chairs, stanchions, and
anything else handy to fight with, and they slowly follow the
chase.

Fred reaches the wedding cake. It's very elaborate; it must have
taken a long time to make. She splashes the contents of the vial
onto the wedding cake, and she dodges out of the way as the three
Divza dive onto the cake. One barrels over it and knocks over a
tent pole; part of the tent collapses, and they're drenched by
the rain.

The Divza stop. They look a sight; one of them has the groom
figurine stuck up his nose. The wedding guests and Virginia stand
at the back of the food area; they look stunned, and then
Virginia begins to laugh. After a moment, other guests start to
laugh, and soon laughter fills the air.

The Divza don't like this at all; they roar and head toward the
crowd; Wesley, Angel, and Gunn intervene. It's pretty brutal;
our heroes get the worst of it until Cordelia gets a clear shot
with her crossbow. She fires a bolt and embeds it along side the
groom figurine. That Divza goes beserk; it lowers its head and
charges Angel, but Angel sidesteps it, graps its arm, and swings
it into Wesley's attacker. The two Divza go down in a heap, and
the third suddenly runs out the way it came. Angel takes off
after it. Wesley, Gunn, and Cordelia secure the other two. Fred
walks over to the remains of the wedding cake, and swipes a
finger through the green icing. Evidently, it tastes good.

---

We see the armored car; Josephus has stuck his head out the
driver's window. Suddenly, the Divza charges the car, grabs him,
and pulls him throught he window; he goes flying into the
mud. Angel catches up and puts himself between the Divza and the
unconscious Josephus. Angel and the Divza spar for a while, and
then Angel induces the Divza to impale himself on one of Angel's
spring-loaded arm spikes. Angel picks up Josephus and drags him
back to the tent. The guard gets behind the wheel and drives off,
very fast.

---

"What are those?"

"Divza demons. Someone didn't want you to get married."

"Not very smart, are they. Thank you."

Fred wanders to the group: "Congratulations."

Virginia laughs. "I don't think congratulations are in order."

"I'm Fred."

"Virginia."

Angel walks up to them, still dragging Josephus. Cordelia looks
at the fallen figure: "Hey! You're on the board of California
Magery and Weathercraft."

Virginia stands up straight, walks through the crowd, and stands
over the CEO of CM&W. The CEO had finally pulled herself into
a sitting position. "The merger is off." Virginia hits the CEO in
the head with the vase, smashing the vase and rendering the CEO
unconscious. "But the lawsuit will be filed Monday."