Oookay! This chapter features a good friend of mine, MEWGIA! *Mewgia bows* And doom. Much much doom... Jendai's mine. Mewgia belongs to herself, I own me, and everyone else belongs to their Almighty Creator. The Doomy Birds belong to themselves. Shatai also owns himself... Jehuty is owned by the ZOE people... I don't own any songs... let's see, I think that's everything.

Last Time:
They all made it to Paris without much incident, visited the Eiffel tower, witnessed a Bread-saber fight between the Tallest, the Irkens saved AF's pyro ass from some French guy, Jendai suspects Purple likes someone, Zim discovered how high the Eiffel Tower is, Red pissed AF off more than usual, Shatai called at 5AM, and GIR still hasn't got his paint... sad yes? Now, let's see what's happening at 7AM in the hotel rooms...

AF (singing while she's in the bathroom): Never made it as a wise man, couldn't cut it as a poor man stealing, tired of living like a blind man, something something something something something-

Jendai (banging on the door): How long are you gonna be in there, AF? We're hungry! Red's being a pain in the ass because he wants some kind of drink, GIR is driving everyone up the wall, Pur wants to talk to you about something, and Zim is... being himself and the Tallest want to strangle you for bringing him along on this trip.

AF (takes her toothbrush out of her mouth): I see everything is exactly the same as I last left it...

Jendai: Yep, pretty much.

AF (puts her toothbrush away): Go on down without me. I'll meet you in the cars for the drive in an hour, okay? (resumes her singing) This is how you remind me of what I really am, this is how you remind me of what I really am! It's not like you, to say sorry, I was waiting on a different story! (dances with her hairbrush as a mic, then sticks her head out the door) Oh, and Dai? (he turns around) Can you buy GIR some paint too? Please? He likes blue all of the sudden.

Jendai (smiles): Nice hair, AF, and sure. I'll buy the 'bot some paint. (runs off before he can get in trouble)

AF (ducks back into the bathroom to check the mirror): What the hell...? Oh damn! (frantically brushes her hair... which amazingly resembles Washu's from Tenchi Muyo-only not pink) Hope nobody saw that...

Meanwhile, 4 Irkens and one SIR have settled down in the restaurant. Fortunately for Red and GIR, this restaurant has buffet-style breakfast. Needless to say, those two clean everything out in a few minutes. Everyone else mooches off of them.

Red (sitting behind huge mound of food): Hey! Purple! That is mine! (steals a tiny little bagel back from Purple) Didn't you steal enough bread from me last night?

Purple (glares over coffee cup): I'm hungry, Lazer Ass! I'm not gonna drive all the way to London with nothing inside me but some coffee!

Jendai: Same goes for me and Zim. (steals more of Red's food and divides it out)

Red (mad cuz he can't do anything about it): Sure fine, whatever...

Zim (to himself): Thank the mother of Irk for hungry, cranky Tallests... (eats his sandwich)

GIR (eating): I gots my paint! (huggles his paint-Jendai got it for him, remember?) Master, where's London? Does it have the Scary Monkey Show?

Jendai (knows the most about Earth, other than AF): It's on a little island place across the ocean from here. Humans drive through what's called the "Chunnel" to get over there. (drinks some juice) It's a tunnel thing that goes under the ground from here to the island so humans don't have to ride a boat over the ocean.

Zim (eyes get huge): Wait... we have to go under the ocean...? As in, the water infested ocean?

Jendai (nods): Yeah, but it's very safe. For something human made anyway. Humans are always making sure nothing's leaking or cracking or filling with water or something. (goes back to his food, ignoring horrified stares from other Irkens)

Red (staring at him): Okay, you're scared shitless of planes, but the thought of being surrounded by deadly water in something humans built is just fine with you?

Jendai: Yep. Why? Scared, Lazer Ass?

Red (not happy): Geh! Stop calling me that! And no! (folds his arms) I'm not scared of that thing! None of us are!

Purple (chews his lip): Speak for yourself... (gets pale)

After an hour is up, they meet AF by the cars and load the bags into the blue one again. They all get into the same cars as before and start the loooong drive through Paris to London. Along the way, they pass several landmarks and of course, take pictures from the car windows. They see Versailles, the Louvre, Notre Dam, and pretty much everything else on the way to London. Eventually, they see a long, tunnel-looking thing with many cars headed inside. There's a big sign over it that says "Chunnel" and a bunch of stuff in French. Before they can get into the Chunnel, someone protests.

Purple (scared): There has to be some other way, AF! Like some way that doesn't involve tight, dark places where doom can come crashing down on me! (whimpers in fear)

AF (exasperated): Okay, first Jendai hates planes, then Zimmy is terrified of heights, now Pur is claustrophobic... Great... (looks in the backseat) Red? Where are the KO pills?

GIR (holding empty bottle): Heeheehee! Candy! (he's a robot okay? Pills don't work on non-living things) Can I have more?

AF (groans): Oh crap... GIR... those weren't for you... those were for Big Master on the plane ride home... and now. (glances at Purple who's cowering in his seat, grabbing onto the armrests for dear life and acting like Jendai was on the plane) Yeah, having some KO pills right now might be a good thing...

Purple (acting insane): Nooo! It's tightening! Tightening I say! Keep it away, keep it awaaaaay! Too tight too tight! I can't see! I can't breathe! (twitches and hyperventilates) We're gonna be crushed!

AF (almost hits another car): Damnit! (pissed off at Pur cuz she doesn't like it when people annoy her while driving... AF's paranoid on the road) Purple! Keep it down! Do you want us all to hit something down here? Be quiet!

Red (leans forward): Let me help! (pulls out a HUGE lazer and smacks Purple over the head with it) Nighty night! (needless to say, Purple is KO'ed and there is a sudden quiet in the car)

AF (pissed off): Okay, you are going to pay for that, Lazer Ass! (dials cell phone) Hey, Dai!? There's a service ramp over to the right. Follow me. I need to pull over and have a little chat with a certain Tallest... (they pull over-yes there's little lanes in the Chunnel for such emergencies!-and everyone gets out of the car) Get over here! (grabs Red by his dressy thing and glares up at him) If I EVER see you do something like THAT again, I SWEAR I will destroy you! AND your lazers! (somehow manages to pull Red's head down to her height-which isn't much) And so help me God, I will make your life a living hell... you have not known the meaning of that word until this day... (lets him go)

Zim (sitting on the hood of the blue car with GIR on his head): What happened in there? We saw Tallest Red doing something... not good...

Red (leaning on the purple car, recovering his "dignity"): Watch it, squirt, I CAN send you to Blorch, you know.

Jendai (standing with AF): Shut up, Red.

AF (trying to pull Pur out of the car): Oh, he hit Purple over the head with a lazer and Purple went night night...

Jendai (confused): A lazer? Where'd he get that from?

Red (casual): My dress thing.

Jendai (making fun of him): I thought they weren't dresses...

Red (catches on): Wha...? Hey! They aren't!

Jendai (snickers): heheheheh...

AF (struggling cuz Purple is a LOT taller than she is): Jendai... help me put him in back with me. No way I'm letting him sit up front-or in back-with Red.

Jendai (helping her): Waitaminute. Does this mean Red's driving...?

AF (succeeds in getting Purple in the backseat): Unfortunately. I can't concentrate on driving in a foreign country with Pur snoring, GIR singing and Lazer Ass-

Red (whining): I said, stop calling me that! It's not funny...

AF (ignores him):-annoying me as usual. So, GIR gets to bug him while I make sure Pur doesn't wake up and try to get out of the car... or do something else... (closes back door) Okay, Irkens! Let's move out!

They all get underway again. Purple stays sleeping, much to everyone in his car's relief, and AF stays back there with him, reading her manga and The Lord Of The Rings-the giant version with all 3 books in one! Yes, she knows she's slow to catch up on these things and she's obsessive. The Chunnel is extremely long, even on train, (which is how the real Aliet got there) so about three hours later, they get out into sunlight again.

GIR (happy): Hehe! I see the light!

Red (finishes): And it burrrrrns!

Both of them: Hehehehehehehehehehehee!

AF (not looking up from her book): Oh God... two morons in one car... who'd of thought? (thinks a sec) Of course, GIR's the smarter moron... and the funnier one.

GIR (more happy): Yay! I'm a moron! (aww, he's so innocent!)

Red (looks in the rearview mirror at AF who's gone back to reading about rings and hobbits): Hey!

England has a lot of little hills, and is really green. It's raining... and needless to say, the Irkens are nervous about it. They know the stuff can't get them in the car, but it's like you going to the aquarium and seeing those evil evil shark fish and knowing there's a lot of stuff to keep them from getting you but you're still scared because God knows if they could suddenly get out somehow and chew you to bits while you're still screaming bloody murder but there's nothing anyone can do about it... whoops! Ranting... anyway, they're driving through the English countryside and it's raining. GIR eventually becomes hypnotized by the windshield wipers, Zim starts plotting once again, Purple... sleeps... sorta... and Jendai and Red drive with AF reading still. Hey, she's only in the first book! Forgive her! Finally, they enter London's city limits and become more or less mesmerized by the towering buildings that are literally about 3 inches apart.

AF (pokes Purple): Hey, Pur, wakey wakey. We're there. (Purple stays asleep) Damn you... (glances around to make sure GIR and Red aren't looking and gives Pur a little kiss on the cheek to wake him up) There. If you don't wake up now, I'm gonna have to sue some fairy-tale authors... (amazingly...)

Purple (waking up): Oh mother of Irk... (sits up and holds his head) What the hell happened..? We were in that tunnel thing... and now we're... not. (looks at Red) And why does my head hurt?

Red (blushes innocently and waves): Hi Pur... Nice sleep?

Purple (glares at him): Never mind. I think I can figure it out. (looks around) Hey! Where are we now? London? Germany? Canada? Where?

AF (putting her book away and looking for her camera): London. Lotsa photo ops. Where's my camera...?

GIR (takes a picture, with AF's camera... WITH the blinding flash on): SMILE AF AND PURPUR!

AF and Purple (rubbing their eyes in pain): GAH! My eyes!

Red (cackles): Gotta get me one of those, that'd be better than lazers! Heheh...

GIR (giggles, then suddenly sees something out the window): BIRDIES! Wait! BIRDIES, I NEEED TO PLAY!! (somehow manages to get out the window and runs off) BIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIES!!!

Red (puts on the brakes so the car jerks forward so bad AF goes flying): Holy SHIT! How did that thing get out!?

AF (reaches forward and grabs Red around his neck like she's gonna strangle him): If you ever stop like that again... (realizes GIR is gone) Pull over! We have to go find him before something happens!

Purple (skeptical): Something happens to him or because of him?

AF: Because of him. America had a little spat with England once, I'm not gonna be the one to set the Brits off again. (shudders) They might all have hissy fits and throw tea at us or something...

They pull over, with Jendai and Zim right behind. Turns out, GIR was attracted to the pigeons in Trafalgar Square. Other than a big fountain and an equally big statue of... some guy, there is seriously about a million of those birds there... doing whatever pigeons do... and annoying people. You can't walk two inches without stepping in pigeon doodoo or something nasty like that. It is in the midst of this madness that GIR has found disease-ridden ugly little bird heaven.

GIR (running through the masses of evil pigeons): HI Birdies! (notices they're flying away) Hey... I wanna play! Come back! (chases them) Hehe! Fun chasing BIRDIES!!

Zim (back at the cars, angry): How could you four let such an advanced model run out of the car like that!? Any HUUUman could just walk right up and steal it! Not to mention those... stinky... birdy... things could destroy it!

Purple (annoyed): Watch it Zim. And it wasn't our fault! It was an accident!

Red (equally, if not more, annoyed): Yeah! And if you ever talk like that again, to us, you're going to the planet of explodey heads!

AF (gets into an argument with them): Okay, you two shut up! You're not sending Zim anywhere! He's mad!

Red (pissed): I'm mad too!

Zim (getting into the fight): Hello!? Invader without a SIR HERE!!

Jendai (calmly listens to them argue for about five minutes): Guess I gotta go get GIR myself... (pulls out another bottle of blue paint and wanders off into the crowd to find the robot) Here GIR... I got paint for you... (notices a huge mass of pigeons flying frantically away from something while people also run away) Hmm... that must be the place. (wanders over and runs into someone) OW! Damn! (notices it's a kid) oh, sorry!

Kid (looks up at very tall, green-skinned thing): An ALIEN! (2 guesses as to who this is...)

Jendai (takes another look at the kid): Sweet mother of-(covers his mouth and runs in the opposite direction) AF!! WE HAVE A PROBLEM!!

AF (comes up to him with Tallest and Zim behind): What is it, Dai? What's wrong?

Zim (glares from around AF): Hello... DI-buh! What are you doing in this stinkbird ridden place?

Dib (glares back at Zim): Gamer convention. I had to take Gaz. Dad's too busy. (looks at all the people surrounding them) GAH! ALIENS!! (backs away slowly) I knew it! The invasion has begun!

Red and Purple (grab Zim and hold him up by the collar): What did you tell him about Impending Doom TWO!?

Zim (scared): N-n-nothing! The human knows nothing!

Purple (puts him down): If you say so...

Dib (marches up to AF): Traitor. How could you hang around with these disgusting alien scum?

Red (lifts Dib up by his collar and looks him in the eye): What was that, stinkworm? (squints one eye dangerously) Mind repeating that for the three of us to hear? (Jendai and Purple appear behind him, all dangerous looking)

Dib (scared shitless): Uh, erm, er, um... nothing... (grins nervously)

Jendai (flexes his arms): What's say we doom him, alien style?

Purple (evil look): Fine by me. AF? How's it with you?

AF (another evil look): Go right ahead... (the tall ones begin their work while she and Zim go find GIR)

Zim (smiling blissfully at the screams of terror from Dib): Heh, it's a wonderful way to start a trip. Listening to Dib make himself... all... not smart... with terror.

AF (grinning as well): Very nice. (spots GIR) There he is! (shouts and waves) GIRRY! Come on! We're going to go find lunch!

GIR (pops up out of a pile of pigeon crap, in his doggy suit): YAY! (runs over, scattering more birds) HEEHEE! I found dooky!

AF (gagging): Oh GOD! That smell! (looks down at GIR) Take off your disguise GIR. It's stinky.

Zim (also gagging): Yes! Get rid of the mutant bird stink! (suddenly gets devilish grin... uh oh, Zim's got an idea!) Hmmm... yesss... (cackles insanely) GIR! Lock your disguise in a zippy baggy and place it in the car! We will need it later...

GIR (red mode): Yes, my master! (runs off to the cars)

AF (suspicious): Plotting something, Zimmy?

Zim (being his evil self): Yes... Something not even your advanced human brain could comprehend, AF. Something amazing... so amazing-

Suddenly, Dib speeds by the two, covered in birdseed and blue paint to make the seed stick. Pigeons are flying at him and pecking the seed off and soon, the human is covered in a pile of evil, stinky, poopy birds. AF and Zim cackle at this before heading back to where the tall ones wait. Surprisingly, Gaz is with them.

AF (waves): Hey Gaz. Thought you'd be in the convention thingy by now.

Gaz (shrugs): I was. It got out early. This (points at screaming, bird Dib) is way more interesting than people who call themselves gamers and can't even get past the first level.

Jendai (laughs): Very much so! I commend you, Gaz, for bringing the birdseed.

Gaz (shrugs again): Anything for entertainment. (goes back to her GS2)

Red (points at Dib): Run human run! (laughs at his "wit") Hehe! I'm funny!

Voice from the crowd: Red!? Is that you!?

Red (confused): Yes... (scans crowd) Where the hell did that come from...?

A girl wearing a long sleeved tight black shirt, with her hair in a braid, really dark flared blue jeans, thin glasses and muddy sneakers runs up to Red and squeezes him hard. Zim stares, AF cheers, GIR dances, Gaz wanders off playing her Gameslave2, and Jendai snickers with Purple at Red's face.

AF (dancing like GIR): MEWGIA! You're here! (pries Mewgia off Red and huggles her) Squee! I have a human friend!

Mewgia (does a happy dance): Yay! Wait... (looks around) What are you guys doing here? Last time I saw you, we were DDR-ing! (note: see the fourth chapter of Mewgia's SI fic for reference to how this whole thing happened)

Red (casually wanders over and picks up Mewgia): Why didn't you let me know you were coming, Earthling? (swings her around playfully) I missed you after that party!

Jendai (elbows Purple and whispers): Should we tell her about the incident on the plane?

Purple (shakes his head): No. I like Mewgia. She had curly fries at the party. Let's be nice for once and enjoy the show. (leans against the car to watch, Jendai joining him)

AF (gets Mewgia away from Red... again): Seriously, what are you doing here?

Mewgia (lets Red sneak his arm around her... hehe, she likes him): My skool choir is on a field trip thing and I kinda got lost. We're all done with our performances, so uh, I'm just kinda wandering! (sees Dib run by, covered with MORE birds) Uh, whose work was that?

Jendai, Red and Purple: Mine!

AF (thinks for a sec): Hey, why don't you come with us for a while, Mewgia? We're just gonna drop off the luggage, then maybe take a tour or go to the Tower of London.

Mewgia (thinks): Sure! I'll come too! (the two humans stroll off to the car)

Purple (heads back to the car): Red likes a huuuman, Red likes a huuuuman!

Red (gets Purple in a headlock): Say that again, Smoke Machine boy. I dare you to! I dare you!

Purple (wiggling): AAAAF!!

AF and Mewgia (from in the car): RED!

Red drops Purple and flees to the car and they all start off again while Dib is pecked by millions of English pigeons. AF and Mewgia chat about human stuff-books, music, stupid jocks, anime, etc.-while GIR annoys Red and Purple reads AF's book. They drop off the luggage at the hotel, along with Zim and GIR who have decided to "sit out" this sightseeing adventure. They leave one car at the hotel and all pile into the purple car. With Mewgia along, AF somehow gets lost and they end up spending an hour driving around the city.

Jendai (to himself): And they say males don't stop and ask for directions...

AF (concentrating on the road): Quiet you.

Finally, AF gets un-lost and they arrive at the Tower of London. Again, there's a huge line.

Purple (being philosophical): Okay, it must be one of the great laws of everything under the suns that every time AF gets to go somewhere, there will be a huge line that makes us wait for hours and causes something bad to happen... (realizes he's being stared at) Uh... I'll shut up.

Red (looks at TOL): Why the hell do they call it a tower? I see no towers. It's... flat.

Mewgia (is reading off the guide thing annoying people pass out to those in line): It says here that it used to be a tower, then it got blasted with cannons or something and went flat... oh, and if you take a raven from the tower, it'll all fall down.

Jendai (eyes the flat... flatness): Looks like someone already took a few birds...

AF (shushes them): Quiet, we're at the ticket place. (YES, you have to PAY to go in the crumbling tower thing that's stinky and feels like it's gonna collapse around you) Five for the tower, please.

Ticket human: That'll be 78 pounds please.

Red (confused): Wait, we have to give our weight to pass? How do we do that? (looks at Mewgia) Are we supposed to cut off body parts or somethin?

Purple (rolls his eyes): Pounds is what people in England call their money, Lazer Ass.

They get past the main gate and wander around inside for a while. The first stop is the throne room looking place where AF has too much fun pretending to rule all the tourists. Next, they move onto the main part of the tower. It's very cold in there, and kinda confining. Purple stays in the large rooms so they lose him every once in a while. They actually get to go up in the one part of the tower that's still... a tower. They go up this wood staircase that freaks Jendai out when it creaks under him. Basically, they go on a tour of the tower... thing. One room has a bunch of torture tools inside, and swords. These rooms give everyone a weird feeling and are avoided. Red gets in trouble for trying to use out one of said swords on some priceless art and so, they're kicked out into the main courtyard area. Mewgia buys ice cream for them from one of the 50 vendors walking around and as they're sitting around enjoying the yummy stuff, AF notices something.

AF (eyes get huge): Heeey! It's one of those guards that never move or speak or anything! Squee!

Red (gets up and starts to walk over): We'll see about that... (Mewgia jumps up and follows him)

Jendai (sighs): Oh god... what are they going to do?

AF (wisely): Knowing Mewgia and her sugar rushes... something that might get us kicked out before-

Purple (teasing her): Before you can get distracted by the shiny rocks?

AF (glares): Quiet you... (drags him off toward the guard) Let's go! (Jendai follows them, whistling with his hands in his pockets)

Red (standing two inches from guard's face and is making rude faces at him): Hello!? Anyone in there? Hellooooo? (sticks his tongue out) an't oo ak? Ello? Ooman? (puts his tongue back in) It's no use.

Mewgia (poking guard in the legs): Heh-heh! Pokey pokey! (looks up at Red) Nope, he can't feel anything. Let's get busy!

Red: As you wish, Earthling. (picks up guard and shakes him around) Wakey wakey! (shakes him some more. Amazingly, the guard stays perfectly still and doesn't even twitch an eye) Damn! He's still not moving! This guy is weird!

Mewgia (hyper): Shake him again! Shake him again!

AF (appears behind them): Put him down, Red.

Red (jumps and drops the guard): Geh! AF! (notices guard on the ground... he still hasn't moved a muscle) Oops...

Jendai (looks down at the guard): Damn... those guys really DON'T move.

Purple (frowns): Are they done making fools of themselves? I'd like to see the jewels before we have to get stuck with Zim again.

Red (looks up at the mention of jewels): Real jewels? As in-

Mewgia (huge eyes):-big shiny pretty rocks!? (grabs everyone and drags them inside this heavily guarded place to see the Crown Jewels) PRETTIES!!

Everyone stands on this little moving sidewalk thing that takes you passed these huge glass boxes containing the infamous Crown Jewels. THEY ARE HUGE! There's a diamond or a sapphire that's 1,000 karats or something like that. Crowns, scepters, and this kick-ass ruby that AF instantly falls in love with.

AF (face as close to the ruby as possible): So shiny and red... so fiery... (drools)

Purple (thinks to himself): Hmm... If I get that ruby... AF will be happy with me... maybe even like me...

Jendai (also thinking to himself): Hmm... If I get that rock... I can give it to Bast-chan... she will be happy... all girls like shiny rocks... she might even like me more...
(A/N: Sorry girls. Bast claimed Jendai a while ago. How he met her is a story she will have to tell...)

Red (thinking too): Hmm... I wonder when dinner is...?

They finish their tour of the jewels and head back outside. It's getting a little dark, but AF hasn't seen the pretty ravens yet, so she heads off in that direction with Mewgia and Red-who has found a sandwich in his dressy thing... again. Wonder how long that was in there...? Jendai and Purple hang back by the entrance to the Jewel room. Uh oh. What are they planning now?

Purple (wandering back inside): Wait here, 'Dai... I think I forgot something... (runs in)

Jendai (realizes what's happening): Hey! (chases him)

Why don't we check on Zim and GIR? We haven't heard from them in a while...
They're walking down a busy London street, towards a tall clock tower. Zim is ranting about his plot and shaking his iron fist at all the idiot drivers while GIR skips along, singing "Under the Sea" from the Little Mermaid. Hey, he's basically a little kid, why shouldn't he watch that movie?

Zim (shakes his fist at a cabby): STUPID Londonese Cab slave! How dare you nearly run over the foot of ZIMM with your smelly, smoke-spewing driving machine? Come back here and face me like the monkey worm you are! Come to ZIM and face the wrath of the IRKEN ELITE! (realizes people are staring) Er, uh... Come GIR!

GIR (skipping and singing): Under da sea! Under da sea! Heehee! I like the talking crab master! He dances like dis! (starts dancing like the crab)

Zim (ranting again): Concentrate GIR! We have much to do in order to complete this BRILLIANT plan of mine! (points at the tall clock tower) We must climb to the top of this 'Big Ben' clock in order to put my plan into action! Once it is complete, all humans shall bow DOWN to the sheer GENIUS that is ZIM! (cackles)

GIR (still skipping): What are we gonna do, Master? Make the clock blue?

Zim (growls): No GIR. We're going to-

GIR: Maaake it... go fast?

Zim (angry): No GIR! We're-

GIR: Are we going to make it fly around?

Zim doesn't answer. They reach the foot of Big Ben and Zim demands they be let inside.

London person guarding the entrance: Sorry old boy! (yes, they DO talk like this... it's scary I know) No one's allowed up there. Especially not disabled people.

Zim (confused): Dis-abled?

London Person: You're green and you have no nose or ears. That (pulls out a giant book labeled 'Ye Olde Rule Book') qualifies you as a disabled person and you aren't allowed up there. Sorry!

Zim (indignant): I am not dis-abled! Now let ZIM pass, moustache beast! I have an important errand to run at the top of this... clock!

London Person (not intimidated): Unless I see a written permission from the chaps at the administration, you aren't going up there.

Zim (annoyed): Geh! You will be sorry! Pathetic HUUMAN! (scurries off into the bushes, GIR following him eventually) Drat! I can't get up there the easy way... (looks up at the clock) By the mother of Irk that's high... (shivers, then slaps himself) I am an Invader! Invaders fear nothing! GIR!

GIR (jumping up, saluting red-mode): Yes sir!

Zim (points to the west clock face. Big Ben has 4 faces, one in each compass direction): Use your jets to fly me up there! To the... white... circle!

GIR (flies under Zim and shoots skyward): Okie dokey!

They fly to the top of Big Ben and land directly under one of its four faces. Zim has his robotic legs out for extra balance and grip, as well as an ego boost to reassure himself that he won't fall, and his trying to climb to the middle of the face. GIR is flying around in case Zim DOES fall. Once he reaches the middle, Zim pulls out GIR's stinky disguise and attaches it to the middle of the face. Next, he climbs down to the little hatch on each face and slides inside, GIR after him. Zim is now inside the works of the clock. He scurries around, making adjustments and tweaking things.

GIR (watching him): Now can I know whatcha doin?

Zim (cackling): Thanks to the dissection of AF's watch, I have learned that by banging on this large knob and loosening this... flat... spiked thing... you can make the hands turn at a fantastic rate! (runs around doing so) This will cause a large air current to be blown from the hands. And by attaching your stinky disguise, the air current will contain its foul stench! It will blow all over this city, making the human vulnerable! Once this happens, nothing shall stop me from my goal! (gets all spooky-like) One by one, all the cities of this planet shall fall to my stink fan. And once they fall, they will call me emperor! (cackles maniacally)

GIR (dances): The world's gonna smell like dooky!

Zim (evilly): Yesss... (sits back to wait. Suddenly the gears speed up insanely fast. everything looks like it's going to explode. Zim jumps up) GIR! Get me out of here! The plan is not going as... planned!

GIR (red-mode): Yes sir! (lets Zim get on him and just as he's blasting away the face they're flying away from blows up)

Shall we check back on Dai and Pur? Yes, we shall!

Jendai (fighting off both Purple and security guards to get to the ruby): It's mine! I saw it first! I'm gonna get it!

Purple (also fighting many humans and an Irken): No! It's mine!

Jendai (gets handcuffed by guards): Ow! Hey! Let me go! Ouch! Don't pinch the skin! What the hell are you doing?

Purple (doing the same): Damn you humans! I'm Almighty Tallest! How dare you treat me like this! I'll have Red use those goddamn lazers on you! They hurt, believe me! Let me go now! All I did was touch the stupid rock!

The duo gets hauled out into the main courtyard area, where they catch the attention of the rest of their group. Needless to say, they aren't happy with what they've done.

AF (embarrassed): Dai! Purple! What the hell did you do?

Security man! (theme music plays-no, never mind): They we're tryin ta steal the Big Giant Ruby, mum. (okay, I think he said Ma'am, but it came out mum... damn those bizarre Brits...)

Red (confused): Did he just call AF his mom...? (gets elbowed by Mewgia) OW!

AF (to the guards): Sir, please forgive them! They're on medication and forgot to take it this morning and we're just a bunch of Americans. Can you let them go? We swear they will never set foot in here again.

Mewgia (equally embarrassed): Please! We're so so so so so so sorry! I don't know how we let them get out of our sight! It'll never happen again!

AF: And did we mention we're American?

Red (grabs Jendai and Purple by their back pods and pulls them over): Come on kids, let's say bye bye to the pretty rocks and go back to the hotel! AF and Mewgia will buy you some shiny rocks when we get back if you don't annoy each other in the back seat. (he's seriously enjoying not being the one in trouble for once)

Mewgia (pushes Red towards the exit): Come on, Aka-sama. Let's go. (AF follows her, leaving a rather confused security guy behind) I know a yummy place to get dinner. Even picky Zimmy should like it!

Jendai (makes Red let go of him): Speaking of Zim, where is the little thing?

AF (shrugs): Hotel, probably. Hehe, I pity him. Trapped in that place with GIR. He's missing all the fun.

Purple (also shoves Red off him): Yes, 'poor' Zim... (winces when AF elbows him) Hey! AF, just cuz you like the annoying squirt doesn't mean I have to! He blew up Irk for god's sake!

Red (growls): Maybe he died, stupid little bastard-OW! (rubs place where Mewgia slapped him) I can cuss! AF does! You do! The Student duo does! Why don't they get hurt? (shuts his mouth when Mewgia puts her arm around his waist)

Jendai (grumbling): Of all the people, we HAD to run into Red's girlfriend... why couldn't Bast pop up...?

As they leave the main gate, the Irkens hear a faint scream that gets louder as they listen. Finally, the humans hear it too, and look around for the source. They see a little dot of light in the sky which is coming towards them.

Red (groaning): Oh shiiiit...

Purple (also groaning): Why couldn't he have blown up or something? WHY does he still LIVE!

Jendai (chuckling): To make your lives miserable I guess. Does a pretty good job of it too.

Mewgia (points to what they can now identify): It's a birdy! It's a plane-

Purple: Heh, watch out Jendai.

AF (happily): It's a Twinkie, no it's... ZIM!!!

Zim and GIR crash land in the center of the little group. Zim is charred and his wig is messy but he's unharmed. GIR is his usual happy self.

AF (scoops him up): Zimmy! You came to join us! (hugs him, despite loud protests)

Jendai (elbows Purple): You got some competition from a midget.

Purple: Shut the hell up.

They all pile into the car, Zim and GIR sitting with Mewgia cuz they're so teeny. After driving around for a few hours, Mewgia is bad at giving directions, they get to this pub and have a nice dinner of relatively normal food. Jendai, Mewgia, GIR and AF try the "famous" London fish and chips, while Zim gets a sandwich, Red gets a hamburger and Purple has salad. Don't ask why. He felt like it. After dinner, they head back to the hotel to get some sleep. Mewgia gets to stay with them. The rooms in this hotel are pretty nice, again having two beds, a mini-bar and TV. They have their own bathrooms-thank the green monkey-and a couch. Mewgia, AF, Zim and GIR get one room, the girl humans on the beds, Zim on the couch and GIR... GIR doesn't sleep. Jendai bunks with Purple again, and Red gets his own room... with all the extra baggage.

Mewgia (playing cards with Zim and GIR while AF tries to find good TV): Okay, GIR, now you get to go fish-

GIR: YAY!! (throws his cards in the air and runs off to "go fish" in the toilet)

Mewgia (watches him go): Ooookay...

AF (triumphant): YAY!! WE GOT A MOVIE SIGN! (my, AF has many obsessions...)

Zim (puts his cards down): And what movie would this be? (skeptic look) I doubt it is any good.

Mewgia (eyes are huge): Just you wait Zim! It's... it's...

AF (cheers and plops down beside Mewgia to watch the movie): GODZILLA!! (the American version)

An hour later, Zim is cheering as Godzilla defeats the humans and has them on the run. He's completely absorbed in the scientific part of it, and refuses to turn it down to let Jendai and Purple get some sleep in the adjacent room. Eventually, they're joined by GIR.

AF and Mewgia (watching Godzilla die at the end): NO!! Poor G-man... woman... lizard!! (sob hysterically)

GIR (also upset): NOOOO!! Zilly! I love-ed yooooou! I LOVE-ED YOOOOU!!!

Zim (mad): Stupid humans! Couldn't they see the BRILLIANCE of this Godzilla creature!? Must you people always kill everything that tries to conquer you!?

AF (teasing him): See, Zimmy? I told you you'd like this movie. (wipes away a tear) It's sooo good... (glares at the TV) Damn you government!

Mewgia (shakes her fist at it): Damn you to... the fiery place!

GIR (happy now): I shake my bottom at you! Bad bad humans! (proceeds to shake his metal butt at the TV)

After the movie, everyone turns in. It was a long day and they're sleepy. Tomorrow though... AF AND MEWGIA WILL GO ON A SHOPPING TRIP!! Oh the horror they will inflict upon the giant store that is Harrod's! Beware the next chapter!