Disclaimer - Characters belong to J.K. Rowling.
Dedicated to Mieko Belle. "She NEEDS to sort out her priorities."
~~~Mieko Belle and the Dangers of Insanity~~~
Once upon a time there was a girl called Mieko Belle. She was medium height with long black hair, hazel eyes, and a wonderfully curvy Marilyn Monroe-esque figure. Mieko was more prettily cute than sexy - except when she wore her leather flares and black and green Slytherin Pride corset at that T-Rex tribute band gig I spotted her at; she looked hot as hell then - and she was funny and witty and popular and pretty damn good at photography. In fact, her studio portraits were almost as good as the smutty fanfics she writes during my class.
Mieko was a witch, in her seventh year at Hogwarts. For some insane reason, she had the biggest obsession for her head of house and Potions teacher, Professor Snape. Everyone else in the world thought Snape was foul and ugly and greasy, but Mieko didn't worry about the fact his huge nose would poke her eye out if he ever kissed her. She just sat in his lessons resting her chin in her hands staring at him dreamily and drooling every time he mentioned the waving of wands or making of potions.
On Valentine's Day she sent him a red rose and a romantic poem. He warily opened the envelope in front of the class - he'd never had a Valentine present before, even though he *did* look rather a lot like Alan Rickman, favourite late-night fantasy of menopausal women everywhere. I mean, you'd have thought McGonagall would have been slobbering over him, wouldn't you? Nope. She had a bit of a thing for Hagrid and his seventeen-inch wand... but that's another story.
Anyway, back to Mieko. She sat there and held her breath as he read the poem. She'd never hidden her feelings for Professor Snape, and when he'd finished reading and started to lift his head, she batted her long eyelashes and shot him a sexy smile... but he wasn't even looking at her. She frowned slightly and followed his gaze to... Draco Malfoy?!
What?! she thought in disgust. Sevvy thinks Draco sent him that? Ugh. Sod him, then.
Mieko dropped out of school and began drinking heavily to drown her sorrows. Everyone in Hogsmeade whispered about her behind her back and pointed at her when she sat all alone in the corner of the Three Broomsticks. Soon, she gave up taking showers and she smelled like a brewery that had been filled with rotten fish and left to ferment for a few millenia. The alcohol made her forget where her mouth was, and she dropped half her meals down her front.
Years passed, and still Mieko sat in the pub cackling wildly and doing nothing with her life. Litle children screamed and ran away when they saw her.
Eventually she died. No one came to her funeral.
The moral of the story is this, kids - if you don't get a good education you won't get a good job. If you have crushes on old men who are - no offence intended, of course - amazingly far out of your reach you'll end up sad and lonely. And if you write pornography in my class, I ridicule you.
The End.
________
(You do know I'm only joking, don't you?)
Dedicated to Mieko Belle. "She NEEDS to sort out her priorities."
~~~Mieko Belle and the Dangers of Insanity~~~
Once upon a time there was a girl called Mieko Belle. She was medium height with long black hair, hazel eyes, and a wonderfully curvy Marilyn Monroe-esque figure. Mieko was more prettily cute than sexy - except when she wore her leather flares and black and green Slytherin Pride corset at that T-Rex tribute band gig I spotted her at; she looked hot as hell then - and she was funny and witty and popular and pretty damn good at photography. In fact, her studio portraits were almost as good as the smutty fanfics she writes during my class.
Mieko was a witch, in her seventh year at Hogwarts. For some insane reason, she had the biggest obsession for her head of house and Potions teacher, Professor Snape. Everyone else in the world thought Snape was foul and ugly and greasy, but Mieko didn't worry about the fact his huge nose would poke her eye out if he ever kissed her. She just sat in his lessons resting her chin in her hands staring at him dreamily and drooling every time he mentioned the waving of wands or making of potions.
On Valentine's Day she sent him a red rose and a romantic poem. He warily opened the envelope in front of the class - he'd never had a Valentine present before, even though he *did* look rather a lot like Alan Rickman, favourite late-night fantasy of menopausal women everywhere. I mean, you'd have thought McGonagall would have been slobbering over him, wouldn't you? Nope. She had a bit of a thing for Hagrid and his seventeen-inch wand... but that's another story.
Anyway, back to Mieko. She sat there and held her breath as he read the poem. She'd never hidden her feelings for Professor Snape, and when he'd finished reading and started to lift his head, she batted her long eyelashes and shot him a sexy smile... but he wasn't even looking at her. She frowned slightly and followed his gaze to... Draco Malfoy?!
What?! she thought in disgust. Sevvy thinks Draco sent him that? Ugh. Sod him, then.
Mieko dropped out of school and began drinking heavily to drown her sorrows. Everyone in Hogsmeade whispered about her behind her back and pointed at her when she sat all alone in the corner of the Three Broomsticks. Soon, she gave up taking showers and she smelled like a brewery that had been filled with rotten fish and left to ferment for a few millenia. The alcohol made her forget where her mouth was, and she dropped half her meals down her front.
Years passed, and still Mieko sat in the pub cackling wildly and doing nothing with her life. Litle children screamed and ran away when they saw her.
Eventually she died. No one came to her funeral.
The moral of the story is this, kids - if you don't get a good education you won't get a good job. If you have crushes on old men who are - no offence intended, of course - amazingly far out of your reach you'll end up sad and lonely. And if you write pornography in my class, I ridicule you.
The End.
________
(You do know I'm only joking, don't you?)
