Disclaimer/Notes: I don't own the characters of this story. I know I know, but you'll have to attempt to control your shock....
OKAY KIDDIES, HERE'S WHERE THE PLOT STARTS! Yes, yes, there's a bit of a plot to it! Muhahahaha, I had you fooled, didn't I? Insolent mortals! (I don't know what the word "insolent" means). There's some slashy humour (ooh, look at my spelling! I'm British!) but it's just as a joke. Enjoy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Since he'd heard the story of what happened at breakfast before his grand entrance, Peter had done his best to stay out of sight. He knew Snape would be wanting his revenge, and he wasn't to keen on being around when it happened. It wasn't until he realized that there was safety in numbers, and that Snape and Malfoy and their gang would just love to get him cornered alone, without his friends for protection. And it wasn't until Peter had seen the situation in the Griffyndor common room that he decided he'd rather be with Snape and Malfoy with a wand up his arse (ouch) at the moment than in the path of this hurricane.
The first things he saw were calm enough. A fire lit the common room up with its orange glow, snow falling gently outside the window, festive Christmas decorations abound, and no mutinous socks in sight. Remus was curled up in one of the big squashy chairs, a book in his lap, and his cat, Totes, curled up on his stomach.
"You have to do it, Si," he was explaining, "it's, like, the rules. You'll be offending the Christmas gods if you don't do it."
That's when Peter noticed that not all was calm in Muraurder-Land. A red-faced James had a firm hold on Sirius' neck, who was trying his best to look nervous and not very much amused (which he obviously was). Lily seemed half way between a scream and a laugh. Looking up, Peter saw the source of the trouble, and understood. Sirius and Lily were caught under the misletoe.
"Offend the `Christmas gods'?!" James bellowed. He licked his lips and continued in a hushed, even voice, "You do kiss her, and you'll be offending me. And trust me, suffering my wrath will be worse than that of the `Christmas gods'."
Until this point, Sirius had been doing a pretty good job of keeping his face stoic. He crumbled into a shivering mass of giggles. Yes, giggles. Peter crossed the room and sat down next to Remus, who looked more than delighted at the turn of events.
"Oh, James, will you grow up?" Lily said, exasperated. "Honestly, I can hardly even stand him half the time, one kiss is not going to steal me away, you big baby."
James looked as though he'd been shot and let go of Sirius' neck. He looked back and forth between Lily and Sirius several times, trying to make up his mind.
"Alright," he sighed, "but make it quick." Sirius grinned mischieviously and turned to Lily. "Oh, and keep your hands where I can see them," James added.
"Not a problem, mi amigo," Sirius said, and proceeded to do just the opposite. He wrapped his arms around her, dipped her backwards with a flourish, and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her for a minute more. When he was finished, both Lily and James needed support. Remus looked like he was going to need an oxygen mask any moment, trying to supress his laughter and shock. Peter actually thought for a moment that James was going to make a skillfull recovery, but that was before Lily muttered one word that changed that happy fantasy.
"Wow......."
At this one word, James lept on Sirius and wrestled him to the floor, making several attempts to hit him as Sirius wildly ducked his punches, laughing like a madman.
"Hey Jamsie, Jamsie boy, back off, and maybe I'll give you a kiss too! You know, this sort of thing wouldn't happen if you'd just snog you're girlfriend properly. Hey, maybe I can teach her, and she can give you lessons!"
James finally made contact with Sirius' nose. This stopped his laughter, but it was obvious his glee was not subdued in the least.
"Yeah, I probably deserved that," he said, inspecting his nose in the mirror, which was bleeding all over his shirt. Wait, no, not HIS shirt....
"Hey!" Remus gave an indignant squeek.
"Sorry, Remus, no kiss for you," Sirius said, trying to block the bleeding with some tissue.
"No! That's my shirt!" Remus said as Totes lesurely stretched and yawned. "Honestly, can't you two do your own laundry? Wait, I know the answer to that....."
Lily quietly excused herself and rushed up to the girls dormitry.
"Good night, Love," Sirius called after her.
Remus quickly shoved Totes (who was rather disturbed by his mistreatment) off of him so he could grab James and pull him back from slaughtering Sirius. Sirius went to hide behind Peter.
"C'mon, James," Remus tried to reason, "Lily likes you more. You know it's true. She loves you. Sirius was just smooth with her. She'll forget about it by tomorrow. She's your girlfriend, be a man."
It looked like the storm had ebbed. For now. James took a deep breath in and out.
"Sirius, you and Lily, well, you don't, you know, feel anyway about her, right?" James said cautiously.
Sirius played with his options and weighed his consequences carefully, and came up with the answer (which Remus was happy to know as the truth), "No, Jamsie, she's just a friend."
James gave a relieved sigh. "Oh, okay then."
"Besides," Sirius added, "everyone knows Peter and I are an item."
Peter gave a terrified yelp as Sirius wrapped his arms around him. He grabbed his bookbag (which he carried everywhere, because it contained Boo Bear) and ran up to the boys' dorm.
James twitched his foot in an anxious way, looking from object to object. "Well, you'd just better hope everything's forgotten by tomorrow." James stormed up the staircase. "Or else!" he added, just as soon as he'd gone out of sight.
Remus and Sirius stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Remus tenatively asked, "So, what are the rest of us missing out on?"
Sirius slowly let a smile form across his face. "I dunno, I think she was stunned."
Remus chuckled as he scooped up his grumpy cat and his book and made his way to the dorms. Sirius curled up on the couch and stared into the fire. This had been a most interesting day. He wasn't even sure why he'd kissed Lily like that, other than to annoy James. But that was reason enough. He peacefully fell asleep, but not before making the terrible mistake of removing his socks....
(A/N: Ahaha! I'm sorry, I just had to add the sock thing in there. I hope you liked this last chapter, please make me a happy little person and review it! I'll be writing more soon, maybe to-night, maybe to-morrow. There's a pretty big slashy joke coming up, but i'm not sure if it'll find itself in the next chapter or in one after that. i'm not sure how this is going to end. it'll be interesting though, i'll garuntee that. Same time, same channel, cowboys and cowgirls! YEEE HAW!)
"Hey, I'm trying to sleep here!" Sirius said. "You even said that I peacefully fell asleep!"
(A/N: oh, sorry.)
"That's okay."
(A/N: how come you never kiss ME like that?)
"Oh cripes, I don't want to talk about it now. I'm tired. Can I use the bathroom to-morrow? You didn't let me go all day to-day. And, I didn't eat lunch or dinner in this fic, I'm hungry.
(A/N: well, all that stuff is implied. it's up to you to take care of your basic needs.)
"Oh, okay then. Sorry."
(A/N: that's okay. You are aware I tried to end this chapter with my note a few lines up?)
"Yeah. Maybe you should whisper next time, as not to disturb me."
(A/N: okay, I'll do that. Good night.)
"Good night."
(A/N: (whispering) see you guys next chapter. bye bye!)
"That's better. Blimey, all you author up, talking have the night like there's no tomorrow. Well, one of these days I'll show you what's what. Darn right I-"
Hee hee, I ended the chapter. So much for his crazy threats!
OKAY KIDDIES, HERE'S WHERE THE PLOT STARTS! Yes, yes, there's a bit of a plot to it! Muhahahaha, I had you fooled, didn't I? Insolent mortals! (I don't know what the word "insolent" means). There's some slashy humour (ooh, look at my spelling! I'm British!) but it's just as a joke. Enjoy.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*
Since he'd heard the story of what happened at breakfast before his grand entrance, Peter had done his best to stay out of sight. He knew Snape would be wanting his revenge, and he wasn't to keen on being around when it happened. It wasn't until he realized that there was safety in numbers, and that Snape and Malfoy and their gang would just love to get him cornered alone, without his friends for protection. And it wasn't until Peter had seen the situation in the Griffyndor common room that he decided he'd rather be with Snape and Malfoy with a wand up his arse (ouch) at the moment than in the path of this hurricane.
The first things he saw were calm enough. A fire lit the common room up with its orange glow, snow falling gently outside the window, festive Christmas decorations abound, and no mutinous socks in sight. Remus was curled up in one of the big squashy chairs, a book in his lap, and his cat, Totes, curled up on his stomach.
"You have to do it, Si," he was explaining, "it's, like, the rules. You'll be offending the Christmas gods if you don't do it."
That's when Peter noticed that not all was calm in Muraurder-Land. A red-faced James had a firm hold on Sirius' neck, who was trying his best to look nervous and not very much amused (which he obviously was). Lily seemed half way between a scream and a laugh. Looking up, Peter saw the source of the trouble, and understood. Sirius and Lily were caught under the misletoe.
"Offend the `Christmas gods'?!" James bellowed. He licked his lips and continued in a hushed, even voice, "You do kiss her, and you'll be offending me. And trust me, suffering my wrath will be worse than that of the `Christmas gods'."
Until this point, Sirius had been doing a pretty good job of keeping his face stoic. He crumbled into a shivering mass of giggles. Yes, giggles. Peter crossed the room and sat down next to Remus, who looked more than delighted at the turn of events.
"Oh, James, will you grow up?" Lily said, exasperated. "Honestly, I can hardly even stand him half the time, one kiss is not going to steal me away, you big baby."
James looked as though he'd been shot and let go of Sirius' neck. He looked back and forth between Lily and Sirius several times, trying to make up his mind.
"Alright," he sighed, "but make it quick." Sirius grinned mischieviously and turned to Lily. "Oh, and keep your hands where I can see them," James added.
"Not a problem, mi amigo," Sirius said, and proceeded to do just the opposite. He wrapped his arms around her, dipped her backwards with a flourish, and kissed her. And kissed her. And kissed her for a minute more. When he was finished, both Lily and James needed support. Remus looked like he was going to need an oxygen mask any moment, trying to supress his laughter and shock. Peter actually thought for a moment that James was going to make a skillfull recovery, but that was before Lily muttered one word that changed that happy fantasy.
"Wow......."
At this one word, James lept on Sirius and wrestled him to the floor, making several attempts to hit him as Sirius wildly ducked his punches, laughing like a madman.
"Hey Jamsie, Jamsie boy, back off, and maybe I'll give you a kiss too! You know, this sort of thing wouldn't happen if you'd just snog you're girlfriend properly. Hey, maybe I can teach her, and she can give you lessons!"
James finally made contact with Sirius' nose. This stopped his laughter, but it was obvious his glee was not subdued in the least.
"Yeah, I probably deserved that," he said, inspecting his nose in the mirror, which was bleeding all over his shirt. Wait, no, not HIS shirt....
"Hey!" Remus gave an indignant squeek.
"Sorry, Remus, no kiss for you," Sirius said, trying to block the bleeding with some tissue.
"No! That's my shirt!" Remus said as Totes lesurely stretched and yawned. "Honestly, can't you two do your own laundry? Wait, I know the answer to that....."
Lily quietly excused herself and rushed up to the girls dormitry.
"Good night, Love," Sirius called after her.
Remus quickly shoved Totes (who was rather disturbed by his mistreatment) off of him so he could grab James and pull him back from slaughtering Sirius. Sirius went to hide behind Peter.
"C'mon, James," Remus tried to reason, "Lily likes you more. You know it's true. She loves you. Sirius was just smooth with her. She'll forget about it by tomorrow. She's your girlfriend, be a man."
It looked like the storm had ebbed. For now. James took a deep breath in and out.
"Sirius, you and Lily, well, you don't, you know, feel anyway about her, right?" James said cautiously.
Sirius played with his options and weighed his consequences carefully, and came up with the answer (which Remus was happy to know as the truth), "No, Jamsie, she's just a friend."
James gave a relieved sigh. "Oh, okay then."
"Besides," Sirius added, "everyone knows Peter and I are an item."
Peter gave a terrified yelp as Sirius wrapped his arms around him. He grabbed his bookbag (which he carried everywhere, because it contained Boo Bear) and ran up to the boys' dorm.
James twitched his foot in an anxious way, looking from object to object. "Well, you'd just better hope everything's forgotten by tomorrow." James stormed up the staircase. "Or else!" he added, just as soon as he'd gone out of sight.
Remus and Sirius stared at each other, not knowing what to say. Remus tenatively asked, "So, what are the rest of us missing out on?"
Sirius slowly let a smile form across his face. "I dunno, I think she was stunned."
Remus chuckled as he scooped up his grumpy cat and his book and made his way to the dorms. Sirius curled up on the couch and stared into the fire. This had been a most interesting day. He wasn't even sure why he'd kissed Lily like that, other than to annoy James. But that was reason enough. He peacefully fell asleep, but not before making the terrible mistake of removing his socks....
(A/N: Ahaha! I'm sorry, I just had to add the sock thing in there. I hope you liked this last chapter, please make me a happy little person and review it! I'll be writing more soon, maybe to-night, maybe to-morrow. There's a pretty big slashy joke coming up, but i'm not sure if it'll find itself in the next chapter or in one after that. i'm not sure how this is going to end. it'll be interesting though, i'll garuntee that. Same time, same channel, cowboys and cowgirls! YEEE HAW!)
"Hey, I'm trying to sleep here!" Sirius said. "You even said that I peacefully fell asleep!"
(A/N: oh, sorry.)
"That's okay."
(A/N: how come you never kiss ME like that?)
"Oh cripes, I don't want to talk about it now. I'm tired. Can I use the bathroom to-morrow? You didn't let me go all day to-day. And, I didn't eat lunch or dinner in this fic, I'm hungry.
(A/N: well, all that stuff is implied. it's up to you to take care of your basic needs.)
"Oh, okay then. Sorry."
(A/N: that's okay. You are aware I tried to end this chapter with my note a few lines up?)
"Yeah. Maybe you should whisper next time, as not to disturb me."
(A/N: okay, I'll do that. Good night.)
"Good night."
(A/N: (whispering) see you guys next chapter. bye bye!)
"That's better. Blimey, all you author up, talking have the night like there's no tomorrow. Well, one of these days I'll show you what's what. Darn right I-"
Hee hee, I ended the chapter. So much for his crazy threats!
