Gundam Wing: La Femmes

A Fanfic by Lady Lye

(c)2001

Rated for strong language on behalf of the characters. Remember- it's not the author w/ the potty mouth-it's her potty-mouthed characters.

Disclaimer: I do not own the whole GW thing... If I did I sure as h*ll wouldn't be here wasting my time writing fanfics about them- I'd be using them as my you-know-what slaves per my latest obsession. So don't try to sue me- it ain't worth it.

Note: rough translation for my rough use of Spanish can be found at the bottom of the chapter. This will include all previous phrases.

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Gundame: (pronunciation varies between gun-dum-eh and gun-dam-ay, but never gun-dame.) The mobile suits used by the five new girls. They are made of gundanium alloy but are coated with a newly developed substance making their shell even tougher than the gundams. Their pilots are known as the Dames.
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Once the limo left the driveway, Andria burst into tears. Surprisingly, it was Relena who got to her side first.

"R-Relena?" she sobbed.

"I can't believe he said that to you," Relena said, her eyes filling with sympathy tears.

"Some boys have no sense," Estelle agreed.

"Hey, remember what we said before?" Kyla said. "One silent shot, something in his drink, a little push over a cliff-"

"No! Kyla, you can't kill him!" Andria protested, smiling despite herself.

"You were going to kill Heero?" Relena gasped.

"Andria won't let us," Kyla pretended to pout. "You sure about that, Andria? I really liked Raisa's idea of shipping him off to work in Siberia-"

"No!" Andria laughed. She wiped away her tears, among die-hard friends now.

"I think Raisa's thinking more along the lines of keeping boys ALIVE right now," Isabel said slyly.

Raisa slapped her hands to her glowing cheeks. "Ohhh…"

"hey, yeah, that was some kiss!" Estelle exclaimed.

"Oh my GOD! You kissed him!?" Kyla exclaimed, totally shocked. Her shy friend had kissed the guy she had a crush on!? RAISA!?

"Well…"

Andria completely dropped her 'my guy's done me wrong' kick. "YOU KISSED TROWA!? But- but you haven't even talked to him yet!"

"Yes she did, she played her flute for him this morning!" Isabel told her.

Andria gasped. "When did that happen? Where was I? How could I miss all this?!"

"You kissed Trowa?" Relena gasped.

Raisa hid her face in her hands, smiling despite herself. "Stop it… I- Well- he- er- ugh! I don't know what to say!" she hid under her coat.

"Uh-uh!" Kyla ripped it away. "We want details! Lots and lots of details! Like what was it like? Is he a good kisser? When's the wedding?"

"Ah! No wedding! No wedding!" Raisa protested furiously. She paused. "He's a VERY good kisser…"

"I knew it!" Hilde said from up front. "He looks so sensitive- is he really romantic or what?"

"I think Raisa's the romantic one!" Estelle said. "Just reaching up and kissing him like that?"

"So are you going out now?"

"Did he agree to write to you?"

"He said he might come to visit…"

They all screamed in delight.

"That is SOOOOO cool!"

"You go, muchacha!"

"Raisa's got a boyfriend!"

"So's Kyla!" Raisa said to try to end the barrage.

"Hey, yeah, are you and the dingbat gonna do anything?" Isabel poked Kyla.

"Erm, um, well, we sorta exchanged emails and addresses and numbers and ID codes…" Kyla said happily.

"I'm glad that you got him," Hilde said. "You'll be good for him. Get him to stop being so perverted!"

"I can't change Duo! I like him just the way he is!" Kyla insisted.

"Unlike Mr. Perfect-Soldier-so-I-don't-need-manners-boy," Relena said.

Andria growled. "How could he say that? Is there anything more WRONG than that?"

"My advice to you both," Kyla commanded quiet and attention. "Is to forget him and move on. Both get new boyfriends. We all love Heero and his weird out of synch with the worldness, but he doesn't deserve either of you if he's going to treat you like that."

"Heer, here," Estelle nodded.

"But-" both Andria and Relena looked at each other. "We still like him!"
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About a week later, Quatre's Sydney residence had lost it's charm. The former pilots lounged around the house, having nothing to fill their time.

Eventually, Duo could stand it no longer. He didn't want to look desperate, but- He riffled through the items on Quatre's desk and pulled out paper and pen, settling himself on the couch to write. He pulled out the slip of paper that hadn't left his possession since Kyla had given it to him. He sniffed it and sighed. It still smelled like her. Her started to write.

"What on Earth are you doing?" Heero was looking at him oddly.

"Nothing, nothing…" Duo said, happily writing away.

Trowa looked up. "Is that what I think it is?"

"Is what what?"

"That little piece of paper- is it-?"

"Mine," Duo said defensively, putting it back in his pocket.

"Duo, that's not fair!" Trowa exclaimed. "You're the only one that has it! Let me see!" he reached for it.

"No! It's mine!" Duo cried, moving out of Trowa's reach. "It's not my fault you forgot to ask."

"Is that their address?" Quatre blinked, looking up from his work.

"It's KYLA'S address, none of the others- leave me alone!" Duo exclaimed as both Trowa and Quatre reached for it.

Heero looked up at them doubtingly. Did they realize how foolish it made them look? He had manged to keep himself from joining the scuffle, but only just. Besides, which one would he write to? Which one COULD he write to? Andria's outburst still stung…

"We do not need WEAK women," Wufei said indignantly from his little corner where he had surrounded himself with pillows while he watched TV. Ever since the Dames had left he had seemed very- insecure? "We are better off without them."

"Let us see, Duo!"

"No! She gave it to ME-"

"Please, Duo! Just let us see!"

"Is it my fault I'm smart and you're not? Lemme alone!"

"Ah ha!" Trowa snatched it out of his hand. He and Quatre bent over it, keeping it from Duo. "Hmmm… looks like Relena's residence in Sank…"

"Maybe we can write care of, hmm?" Quatre said.

Duo fell to his knees. "Please- PLEASE give it back! It's the only thing of hers I have! PLEASE!?" he begged, eyes looking a bit wet.

They looked at him oddly. "You ok, Duo?"

"MINE!" Duo used the opportunity to snatch back his precious paper. "Mine, mine, mine…" he muttered lovingly as he clutched it. He smelled it again. "NO! You ruined the smell! It doesn't smell like her anymore! Now it smells like Quatre and Trowa! You bastards!"

Heero and Wufei both shifted away from Duo. He was THAT obsessed?

Quatre and Trowa blinked at him. "It's ok, Duo… It's just a piece of paper-"

"But SHE wrote on it!" he wailed. "Don't you realize the significance of that?"

"Why don't you just write to her and then you can smell whatever she sends back?" Quatre said, realizing just how incredibly ridiculous that sounded.

"Yes! Quatre you're brilliant!" Duo cried happily. He quickly picked up the pad of paper again.

"On one condition!" Trowa said, holding the pad away from Duo. "We get to include letters to the other girls as well."

Duo blinked. "Et tu, Trowa? Et tu, Quatre?"

"Yes, us too," Trowa said dryly.

"Please?" Quatre begged.

"Speerate envelopes," Duo insisted, then snatched back his pad and continued writing. Trowa and Quatre victoriously did the same.

Heero hunched his shoulders up even more than they had already been. He didn't seem to have a neck anymore, which was logical after how he had stuck it out like that…

"You guys don't want to write to them?" Quatre asked sensitively.

"NO," Wufei and Heero both snapped.

"Suit yourselves," Duo shrugged.

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Hmm? What the hell happened in that fight between Wufei and Isabel anyway? Ah, this whole H/R/A thing just isn't going away, is it?! *grins at powers as an author* And WOAH does Raisa have some unexpected guts or what? I love writing! I love getting reviews! More to come soon, I promise!

If you want more idiotic GW:LaF adventures, go check out my Humorous fic back on my bio... I beleive it's called "GW:LaF characters rage in the author's head"

Plugging self: I also have some songfic type parodies out now... part of why this took so long... think "I'm too sexy for my gundam..." and "Bye, Bye, Ms Supid Pacifist Die" *grin*

Here are the terms you may need...

WARNING: I used the translator on www.dictionary.com http://www.dictionary.com for these. I don't expect them all to be good. I do hope they get the point across. If anyone knows of a better site to use or can give me some really excellent phrases for Isabel to say, let me know.

amante- lover
buen- good
cliente- hot
cosa caliente- hot thing
fresco como vienen- fresh as they come
hibrido- bastard
materia caliente- hot stuff
mi buen pequeño amigo que mira - my good looking little friend.
muchacha- girl
muchacho- boy
Muchacha del idiota- idiot girl
muy- very. as in muy caliente
perra estúpida- stupid bitch
un moron de mierda- a fucking moron (don't worry, I really do love you, Duo...)


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But thank you for reading anyway :)

-Lady Lye