Disclaimer still stands…joy.
*~*~*~
Er? (Part 5)
*~*~*~
"Well, I guess that about wraps it up!" Declared Peregrine happily. The two fic writers were taking a repose from the hard – knock life to enjoy a much deserved rest. Fic writing was a dirty job, but damn it…never mind ^_^;;
Kestrel opened an eye and turned to her friend.
"Huh?"
"I said, we're done, it's a wrap. We've done everything we set out to achieve. Lucretia gets her share of hot Iberian men and Soccer Players; Anjie gets the friendly blonde and moody redhead. We've got Placebo lyrics, a pissed of Precog, alliteration, and a goat! What more could we ask for?"
Her companion did not immediately respond, so engulfed were her senses by the deep – tissue massage she was receiving.
"Ooooh. Hotohori-sama. That's so good." She crooned.
Hotohori merely smiled and continued rubbing his imperial hands over Kestrel's aching shoulders.
"But wait a minute, it's not over. It CAN'T be over." She mused aloud.
"Huh?" answered Peregrine. It was her turn not to pay attention.
"A little lower Suboshi." She said and the bishonen obeyed.
"I said, it's not over. What about denouement? What about conflict resolution? What-"
"What about lemon?" offered Peregrine.
"What about everything coming together?!" cried Kestrel, sitting up. Undaunted, Hotohori continued his massage as she spoke.
"Diego's still in danger, and Lucretia still has to marry him! Nagi and Omi are still in the theatre. Anjie hasn't seduced Aya! Lucretia hasn't finished what she started with Ken, and Manx and Persia are still at large. THE FIC MUST GO ON!!" Kestrel declared, leaping to her feet. The emperor of Konan pouted with dismay, but smiled when he realized the fic writer had dropped her towel…
Peregrine sighed. She'd been looking forward to a rest.
"Alright! Alright! We'll write a proper ending!"
"Huzzah!" exclaimed Kestrel, snatching up a pen and running from the room. The emperor, the seiryuu seishi, and the remaining fic writer exchanged an interminable glance. Finally, Kestrel burst back into the room.
"I'm naked aren't I?"
Hotohori nodded vigorously, and handed her a silk robe.
"Thanks." She said, giving him a quick kiss before she vanished.
"This will be interesting."
"Yes. Yes it will."
~~~~~~~~~
In the midst of all the vigorous discourse going on around him, Aya had spotted Diego strolling nonchalantly from the stables, as it were, to the very "Theatre of the Fairies."
It should be noted however, that Aya's perception was a bit mistaken, as Diego, far from nonchalant, was very agitated, having gone to the stables and NOT found Velvet Venus there. Instead, he had seen his precious pet following an embarrassed man in cream and now he was following them both to investigate. That was when Aya spotted him and went into shi-ne mode…until he felt a tug on his sleeve.
It was Anjie, who was fearful for her cousin's life.
"My good lord," she entreated him "please desist. My kinsman hath made no quarrel with you. Why, therefore, do you seek to Shi-ne him?"
The wine-haired assassin was as much taken aback by Anjie's words as by her beauty. But, habit forced him to be coarse.
"This does not concern you." He replied stiffly, forcing his arm free from her grip.
"But it does," she answered and took hold of his arm again. "Whatever crimes my cousin be accused of, I can assure you he is innocent."
"Don't interfere!" Aya snapped, glaring into the girl's eyes, which were wet with tears. The glacier on the assassin's heart receded a little…but not quite enough.
"I won't warn you again." He said lowly.
"Then you leave me no choice." She replied, and directing her voice at her kinsman, she cried.
"Patrevelis! Fuge! Hic ruber capillus vir necabit te!"
(Cousin! Run! This red haired man will kill you!)
Diego understood, and obeyed. Unfortunately, just as Aya had falsely assumed that Ren Faire employees don't speak Japanese, Anjie assumed that assassins have no taste for dead languages.
"Morere!" he shouted, katana poised.
(SHI-NE!!!)
But before Aya could take a step in Diego's pursuit, he was assaulted from behind…with a sack. He whirled in fury to find Lucretia standing, armed with two sacks from the Fight – The – Knight game.
"Here Anjie." She said tossing her friend a sack. The girl caught it and went to stand beside Lucretia.
~Slice~
Now there were four sacks and two dismayed girls.
"Oi, Aya, enough already." Yohji and Ken stood side by side, blocking their teammate's path.
"What are you DOING!?!" he growled.
"Aya we're as confused as you. But before you start shineeing people, can we at least meet this guy?"
"Yeah, Aya, you never know. Maybe Kritiker was wrong this time. This whole mission just seems way too contrived. At this point, Kestrel glared down at Ken.
"How so?" there were daggers in Aya's voice, but at least he was listening.
"Well for starters," began Yohji, "There are Kritiker agents and assassin groups worldwide. So WHY would they send US around the world just for one lousy drug lord and his pet goat?"
"DRUG LORD!?!" two faces vaulted.
The two girls held each other for support so they wouldn't roll on the ground in their laughter.
~ FIVE MINUTES LATER~
"Oh God." Said Lucretia, still chuckling as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? This is DIEGO we're talking about!"
"Seriously guys, drug lords make a ton of dinero, right?" said Anjie. The three assassins nodded in unison.
"Well, my cousin's dirt poor, and I should know. I not only care for his goat, I also manage his finances. Hell, Velvet Venus has more assets than her does."
"There! You see?" crowed Aya in triumph. "She knows Velvet Venus! She's in on it too!" Anjie might have been chopped to bits then and there if Yohji hadn't intervened.
"Aya, there's something you should know about Velvet Venus."
"Hn."
"She's a GOAT!" chorused the two girls and Yohji.
"WHAT!!!" Aya exclaimed angrily. Ken just looked befuddled.
"Look, I don't know what you're trying to prove, but…"
"We're trying to prove Diego's innocence. Now let's look at the facts. You've been sent around the world to wear silly-looking clothes, to chase after a penniless –" Anjie paused.
"But good looking." Added Lucretia.
"Spaniard and his pet goat." Anjie finished. The quintet stood in silence for a moment, trying to make sense of it all. Then Lucretia gave a start, blinked twice, mentally called herself a genius, and said.
"Say Anjie."
"Aye, Lucretia?"
"What be the date today?"
"Why this be a Saturday in the year of our lord 1574, and tis the first of April." Three faces vaulted.
"The first of April!" exclaimed Lucretia in mock surprise.
"Aye, the first of April." Answered Anjie with mock indifference.
Three assassins quietly fumed.
"We've been grifted! Hornswaggled! Bamboozled! Swindled! Played like a dime- store violin – "
"Enough Ken! We get it!" Shouted Aya, SERIOUSLY annoyed that there would be no shineeing today.
"Manx and Persia must pay." Declared Yohji.
"Then we will need a plan." Said Anjie turning to Lucretia.
"And I think we may have just the thing." Replied Lucretia lightly.
"Everybody huddle up! It's time for a little mission of our own…"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors' note – We know very well that faire season doesn't start until the end of June, and that the way we have it set up, BAPA hasn't even taken place yet. 'Tis all just for plot…it's almost over. You can stop ripping your hair out now.
*~*~*~
Er? (Part 5)
*~*~*~
"Well, I guess that about wraps it up!" Declared Peregrine happily. The two fic writers were taking a repose from the hard – knock life to enjoy a much deserved rest. Fic writing was a dirty job, but damn it…never mind ^_^;;
Kestrel opened an eye and turned to her friend.
"Huh?"
"I said, we're done, it's a wrap. We've done everything we set out to achieve. Lucretia gets her share of hot Iberian men and Soccer Players; Anjie gets the friendly blonde and moody redhead. We've got Placebo lyrics, a pissed of Precog, alliteration, and a goat! What more could we ask for?"
Her companion did not immediately respond, so engulfed were her senses by the deep – tissue massage she was receiving.
"Ooooh. Hotohori-sama. That's so good." She crooned.
Hotohori merely smiled and continued rubbing his imperial hands over Kestrel's aching shoulders.
"But wait a minute, it's not over. It CAN'T be over." She mused aloud.
"Huh?" answered Peregrine. It was her turn not to pay attention.
"A little lower Suboshi." She said and the bishonen obeyed.
"I said, it's not over. What about denouement? What about conflict resolution? What-"
"What about lemon?" offered Peregrine.
"What about everything coming together?!" cried Kestrel, sitting up. Undaunted, Hotohori continued his massage as she spoke.
"Diego's still in danger, and Lucretia still has to marry him! Nagi and Omi are still in the theatre. Anjie hasn't seduced Aya! Lucretia hasn't finished what she started with Ken, and Manx and Persia are still at large. THE FIC MUST GO ON!!" Kestrel declared, leaping to her feet. The emperor of Konan pouted with dismay, but smiled when he realized the fic writer had dropped her towel…
Peregrine sighed. She'd been looking forward to a rest.
"Alright! Alright! We'll write a proper ending!"
"Huzzah!" exclaimed Kestrel, snatching up a pen and running from the room. The emperor, the seiryuu seishi, and the remaining fic writer exchanged an interminable glance. Finally, Kestrel burst back into the room.
"I'm naked aren't I?"
Hotohori nodded vigorously, and handed her a silk robe.
"Thanks." She said, giving him a quick kiss before she vanished.
"This will be interesting."
"Yes. Yes it will."
~~~~~~~~~
In the midst of all the vigorous discourse going on around him, Aya had spotted Diego strolling nonchalantly from the stables, as it were, to the very "Theatre of the Fairies."
It should be noted however, that Aya's perception was a bit mistaken, as Diego, far from nonchalant, was very agitated, having gone to the stables and NOT found Velvet Venus there. Instead, he had seen his precious pet following an embarrassed man in cream and now he was following them both to investigate. That was when Aya spotted him and went into shi-ne mode…until he felt a tug on his sleeve.
It was Anjie, who was fearful for her cousin's life.
"My good lord," she entreated him "please desist. My kinsman hath made no quarrel with you. Why, therefore, do you seek to Shi-ne him?"
The wine-haired assassin was as much taken aback by Anjie's words as by her beauty. But, habit forced him to be coarse.
"This does not concern you." He replied stiffly, forcing his arm free from her grip.
"But it does," she answered and took hold of his arm again. "Whatever crimes my cousin be accused of, I can assure you he is innocent."
"Don't interfere!" Aya snapped, glaring into the girl's eyes, which were wet with tears. The glacier on the assassin's heart receded a little…but not quite enough.
"I won't warn you again." He said lowly.
"Then you leave me no choice." She replied, and directing her voice at her kinsman, she cried.
"Patrevelis! Fuge! Hic ruber capillus vir necabit te!"
(Cousin! Run! This red haired man will kill you!)
Diego understood, and obeyed. Unfortunately, just as Aya had falsely assumed that Ren Faire employees don't speak Japanese, Anjie assumed that assassins have no taste for dead languages.
"Morere!" he shouted, katana poised.
(SHI-NE!!!)
But before Aya could take a step in Diego's pursuit, he was assaulted from behind…with a sack. He whirled in fury to find Lucretia standing, armed with two sacks from the Fight – The – Knight game.
"Here Anjie." She said tossing her friend a sack. The girl caught it and went to stand beside Lucretia.
~Slice~
Now there were four sacks and two dismayed girls.
"Oi, Aya, enough already." Yohji and Ken stood side by side, blocking their teammate's path.
"What are you DOING!?!" he growled.
"Aya we're as confused as you. But before you start shineeing people, can we at least meet this guy?"
"Yeah, Aya, you never know. Maybe Kritiker was wrong this time. This whole mission just seems way too contrived. At this point, Kestrel glared down at Ken.
"How so?" there were daggers in Aya's voice, but at least he was listening.
"Well for starters," began Yohji, "There are Kritiker agents and assassin groups worldwide. So WHY would they send US around the world just for one lousy drug lord and his pet goat?"
"DRUG LORD!?!" two faces vaulted.
The two girls held each other for support so they wouldn't roll on the ground in their laughter.
~ FIVE MINUTES LATER~
"Oh God." Said Lucretia, still chuckling as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Do you have any idea how ridiculous that sounds? This is DIEGO we're talking about!"
"Seriously guys, drug lords make a ton of dinero, right?" said Anjie. The three assassins nodded in unison.
"Well, my cousin's dirt poor, and I should know. I not only care for his goat, I also manage his finances. Hell, Velvet Venus has more assets than her does."
"There! You see?" crowed Aya in triumph. "She knows Velvet Venus! She's in on it too!" Anjie might have been chopped to bits then and there if Yohji hadn't intervened.
"Aya, there's something you should know about Velvet Venus."
"Hn."
"She's a GOAT!" chorused the two girls and Yohji.
"WHAT!!!" Aya exclaimed angrily. Ken just looked befuddled.
"Look, I don't know what you're trying to prove, but…"
"We're trying to prove Diego's innocence. Now let's look at the facts. You've been sent around the world to wear silly-looking clothes, to chase after a penniless –" Anjie paused.
"But good looking." Added Lucretia.
"Spaniard and his pet goat." Anjie finished. The quintet stood in silence for a moment, trying to make sense of it all. Then Lucretia gave a start, blinked twice, mentally called herself a genius, and said.
"Say Anjie."
"Aye, Lucretia?"
"What be the date today?"
"Why this be a Saturday in the year of our lord 1574, and tis the first of April." Three faces vaulted.
"The first of April!" exclaimed Lucretia in mock surprise.
"Aye, the first of April." Answered Anjie with mock indifference.
Three assassins quietly fumed.
"We've been grifted! Hornswaggled! Bamboozled! Swindled! Played like a dime- store violin – "
"Enough Ken! We get it!" Shouted Aya, SERIOUSLY annoyed that there would be no shineeing today.
"Manx and Persia must pay." Declared Yohji.
"Then we will need a plan." Said Anjie turning to Lucretia.
"And I think we may have just the thing." Replied Lucretia lightly.
"Everybody huddle up! It's time for a little mission of our own…"
*~*~*~*~*~*~*~
Authors' note – We know very well that faire season doesn't start until the end of June, and that the way we have it set up, BAPA hasn't even taken place yet. 'Tis all just for plot…it's almost over. You can stop ripping your hair out now.
