Disclaimer thingymadoober: Whoa, if you've mistaken me for the almighty god known as Jhonen Vasquez, then you DEFINANTLY need help. I DO NOT OWN INVADER ZIM! Or related characters. And I am warning you now…this fic ain't slash but it's kinda along the same lines. You'll see *evil grin*…
Oh the horror!
"Due to the fact that the late Mr. Giggles was eaten by koala bears on his trip to Australia over the winter break, I am your new teacher. After reviewing his so called, "lesson-plan", I have decided that it will not prepare you for the adult world, so there is a slight change in lessons." Every single child in the high skool classroom shuddered conspicuously. Dib groaned loudly while Zim hit his head against the desk. She was supposed to be gone…GONE! Dib thought to himself, why is she back? What did I do to deserve this?! Mrs. Bitters growled at the classroom as the children shifted uncomfortably.
"SILENCE! Today's horrible lesson is about-" the student body cringed in anticipation, "-the poisoning field of work known as telemarketing!" The class sat in complete silence as she started to rant on about the demons that live at home.
Dib proceeded to ignore her and scribbled a picture of him presenting Zim to the government while the president shook his hand. He smiled at the thought. Zim leaned over his desk and glared at Dib, then looked up and the clock and sat back down. He sighed audibly and zoned out, seeing himself towering over collapsed buildings and fire, waving the Irken flag. A lazy grin spread across his face.
The class was shook out of complete boredom as the bell for lunch rang. The teenagers leaped up and cheered, running out of the classroom. Only Dib and Zim were left. Zim gathered his books while Dib leaned over his shoulder. "How is it going, alien?"
"Hello, Dib," Zim responded, not bothering to look back at him. He walked out of the classroom and made his way to the cafeteria. He wasn't looking where he was going and ran into two people hugging. "Gak!" He raised an eyebrow at the strange sight, as the girl of the couple ordered her boyfriend to get her a soda he did so as quickly as he could. Zim looked thoughtful as he watched the boy do all the female's bidding.
"What's the matter Zim? Never seen someone show affection? Is that too much of an alien concept for you?"
"Of course not, miserable stink beast! I know what this…affection is. It's um…um…when two earthanoids…um…grab each other?"
All Dib did was shake his head and snicker. He walked into the cafeteria and stood in line to get the skool "food". Zim stood in the hall and watched the humans hug and cuddle. He thought for a minute then smiled. "This affection…makes humans act as slaves. This could be useful for the mission…" He rubbed his claws together happily and took off for home, completely forgetting about the rest of skool.
Dib came out of the line just in time to see Zim crossing the skool yard, heading towards his home. He raised an eyebrow and sat down next to Gaz, who was busily punching away at her game slave. "He's up to something…I just know it!"
Gaz didn't look up as she growled at Dib, "Your drowning out my music…"
Dib ignored Gaz's remark and continued talking to himself, "What horrible thing can it be this ti-OOF!" Dib fell out of his seat as Gaz punched him with one hand, the other still playing her Game Slave 2. She smiled.
G.I.R. was sitting on the couch watching the Scary Monkey show. Zim walked through the door and looked from GIR to the T.V. "That…horrible monkey…" GIR nodded absently. "GIR! We need to go down to my lab. I have found an Earth weakness that can assist us in our mission."
Zim walked into the kitchen and stepped on the trash can lid, then pulled himself inside and went down the elevator to the lab. GIR ripped off its green doggie suit and ran after him, tumbling down the shaft, landing on the floor with a clang.
Zim sat in his chair, "Computer, access Earth files." He smiled as the computer scrolled through files. "Now…find files on…affection." The computer brought up three folders all having different labels: "Love", "Animals", and "Food".
"Hmm…well the earthanoids were not eating some sort of 'Food', nor did they have any animals, and I have no idea what this, 'Love', thing is. Maybe that's the file. Computer, bring up…'Love'."
ACCESSING FILES: FILES ACCESSED.
"Excellent," Zim laughed cruelly as he rubbed his claws together. He did not notice GIR attempting to make cupcakes by the power amplifier, as he was too busy reading about the emotion known as 'love'.
Dib and Gaz walked slowly home together, her eyes were focused on her Game Slave 2 screen while Dib scanned the area. "Why would he leave so early? What evil plan is he…planning? WHAT IS IT?" He grabbed his sister and shook her by the shoulders. "HOW DO YOU NOT CARE?! We have an ALIEN! Trying to conquer the world!"
Gaz's eyes bulged at Dib. "If you want to keep that big head of yours on your neck, then you will put me down RIGHT NOW!" Dib immediately dropped Gaz and muttered about no one appreciating his efforts.
"Well I bet you would be mad when Zim destroys the planet…including all the Game Slave 2 factories where they make the games…" Gaz just glared at Dib sideways and continued walking. Dib threw up his hands and sighed.
Well, there it is folks! The first chapter! Trust me…it gets VERY interesting. You just have to review to see it! MUAHAHAHA! All I'm asking is for 3 measly reviews. AND THE STORY SHALL CONTINUE! And if no one reviews…then…um…I'll most likely continue it anyway cuz I know where it's going and I know it gets interesting. SO MWEHEHEHE. Okies…um…SO REVIEW!
