I Will Remember You
by jalana
======================
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the copyrighted property of Watsuki Nobuhiro. I am in no way claiming any aspect of it for my own. The words and music of the song "I Will Remember You" are by Sarah McLachlan, Seamus Egan, and Dave Merenda. The song was recorded by Sarah McLachlan for Arista Records.
======================
**SPOILERS**This story is set in the Kyoto/Shishio arc, and will have references to a character from the OAVs.
~~...~~ song lyrics
~*~...~*~ flashback
'...' thoughts
"..." dialogue
~~
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
'Ten years. It's been ten years.'
Himura Kenshin looked around at the surrounding farmland and sighed. 'I never thought I would walk this road again.'
He shifted his bag on his shoulder as he stared pensively at the long unwinding road ahead of him. It had been easy for him to fall back into his wandering rurouni routine. Surprisingly easy. Disturbingly easy. Already, his life in Tokyo seemed to fade into the semblance of a vague dream. The closer he got to Kyoto, the more Kenshin felt the need to distance himself from the pleasant memories of...
The sound of footsteps behind him caused Kenshin to instinctively tighten his grasp on the hilt of his sakabatou. 'Has Shishio found me already? He shifted his weight slightly and prepared to turn around.
"Okaasan, look at that sword!" The young voice sounded excited. Kenshin slowly relaxed his grip and began to walk down the road again. "Is it real, 'kaasan?"
"Hush, dear, we need to hurry and get home." Kenshin's eyes closed briefly at the nervousness he heard in the woman's voice and his steps faltered slightly. All around him, people were keeping their distance, wary of the sword he carried. His sharp ears could hear the whispers as he proceeded through the countryside.
"It's a katana...a samurai, here?"
"Doesn't that boy know swords are outlawed in this day and age?"
"Better stay away..."
"It's the Meiji era, what need do we have for swords?"
Kenshin winced at the disapproval apparent in their voices, but kept walking.
~~
I'm so tired,
I can't sleep,
Standin' on the edge
Of something too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much
But we cannot say a word.
We are screaming inside,
Oh, we can't be heard.
Chorus:
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
~*~*~*~
"So, did you say good-bye to your girlfriend?" Saitoh Hajime sneered, the smoke from his cigarette forming a wreath above his head as they stood in the middle of the dark street.
Kenshin glared at the policeman, a sudden amber light in his eyes. His heart, however, gave a curious jump. 'Girlfriend...' Part of his mind stayed on the young woman who had come to mean so much to him, even as he conversed with Saitoh.
'Kaoru-dono...' cried a small corner of his heart. 'I am sorry for causing you pain.' The hurt in her eyes had upset him deeply, more than he had thought possible. He had taken her in his arms, partly to block out the sight of those eyes, but also because he couldn't bear the thought of leaving without holding her at least once. The feel of her slender frame against him had weakened his resolve, enough so that the glimpse of Kaoru's tears as he pulled away almost destroyed his determination to leave. Walking away from her had been one of the hardest things he had to do.
'Put her out of your mind, Himura,' he admonished himself. 'You said your good-byes.' Yet his heart didn't seemed inclined to obey his mind, as the sight of Kaoru's tears froze in his memory.
~*~*~*~
Kenshin blinked as he entered the shade-filled woods. He stood for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to the different light. It had been impossible for him to keep from thinking about her during his journey. His mind had a tendency to wander back to the Kamiya dojo, back to her smile and the sound of her voice calling his name. And no matter what he tried, his thoughts would inevitably return to the remembered sight of Kaoru surrounded by fireflies.
'I may not get the chance to return to Tokyo. Why couldn't I tell her my feelings when I had the chance?' Kenshin shook his head ruefully, as he mentally listed the numerous reasons why he had kept silent. Topping the list, of course, was his blood soaked past.
'Coward.' Kenshin blinked, taken aback at scorn invested in that single word. It had been too much to hope that HE would have remained hidden, buried in the depths of his psyche. 'Why this much turmoil over one silly girl?'
'Kaoru-dono is NOT silly.' He smiled slightly at the incongruous adjective. Kamiya Kaoru was many things, but silly was not a word one used to describe her. His smile grew, as he realized the strangeness inherent in arguing with oneself over an adjective.
'Hmph...you can't even call her by her name in your own thoughts!' The quiet inner voice sounded exasperated. 'Why don't you just admit it? You're scared.'
'Scared of what?'
'Of opening your heart to someone again. Of getting hurt again.'
'...That's...not true...'
Even as Kenshin denied that claim, another voice resonated in his mind, sending a slight chill down his spine. '...a rain of blood...'
~~Verse 2~~
So afraid to love you,
More afraid to lose.
I'm clinging to a past
That doesn't let me choose.
Where once there was a darkness,
A deep and endless night,
You gave me everything you had,
Oh, you gave me life.
~~
The image of a beautiful young woman floated into his mind, along with the half-forgotten fragrance of white plum blossoms. 'Tomoe...'
He remembered their life together, as a medicine maker and his wife. Remembered other fragments of their past, etched into his soul. 'I will protect your happiness,' he had promised her. 'You are the sheath for my katana.'
'You really make it a rain of blood.'
Her face, so calm and peaceful. Her slender frame cradled in his arms. The rare, gentle smile on her lips as she touched his wounded cheek. The smile that stayed on her face even as she breathed her last.
'Tomoe...I couldn't save you. When you died, I swore never to kill again.'
'What about Shishio?' his inner voice accused 'Will you forget how Okubo Toshimichi died? Will you let him destroy what the Ishin Shishi fought for? What WE fought for?'
'I will NOT kill! I am no longer you!' Kenshin retorted. A sense of desperation rolled over him.
'Ah, but you need me. Isn't that ironic?' The Battousai replied humorlessly. 'Stop fighting it. This is the reason you left your...friends...behind, isn't it?'
Kenshin's step faltered. His thoughts turned once again to the Kamiya dojo, and his friends. The faces of those he cared for drifted through his mind. Ayame and Suzume, helping him with the laundry. Yahiko, practicing his exercises in the dojo. Sanosuke and Megumi, quarreling at the dinner table. Kaoru and Megumi, bickering over a comment the lady doctor had made. Kaoru, yelling at Yahiko and chasing him around the courtyard. Kaoru, smiling at him when he came back from an errand.
'Sagara Sanosuke. Myojin Yahiko. Takani Megumi. Kamiya Kaoru.' He ran through the names like a litany, a prayer against the encroaching darkness, strengthening his resolve. 'No matter what happens,' he vowed to himself, 'I will remember all of you and what our friendship has meant to me. Thank you for allowing this unworthy one a moment of peace. It may be the Hitokiri Battousai who is needed in Kyoto, but I will do my best to return as the rurouni you took in.'
With that thought firmly in place, Himura Kenshin steeled his heart and lengthened his strides. Kyoto...and Shishio Makoto...waited for him.
~~Chorus~~
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
Notes:
1) Well, what did you think? Comments & suggestions are welcome!
by jalana
======================
Disclaimer: Rurouni Kenshin is the copyrighted property of Watsuki Nobuhiro. I am in no way claiming any aspect of it for my own. The words and music of the song "I Will Remember You" are by Sarah McLachlan, Seamus Egan, and Dave Merenda. The song was recorded by Sarah McLachlan for Arista Records.
======================
**SPOILERS**This story is set in the Kyoto/Shishio arc, and will have references to a character from the OAVs.
~~...~~ song lyrics
~*~...~*~ flashback
'...' thoughts
"..." dialogue
~~
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
'Ten years. It's been ten years.'
Himura Kenshin looked around at the surrounding farmland and sighed. 'I never thought I would walk this road again.'
He shifted his bag on his shoulder as he stared pensively at the long unwinding road ahead of him. It had been easy for him to fall back into his wandering rurouni routine. Surprisingly easy. Disturbingly easy. Already, his life in Tokyo seemed to fade into the semblance of a vague dream. The closer he got to Kyoto, the more Kenshin felt the need to distance himself from the pleasant memories of...
The sound of footsteps behind him caused Kenshin to instinctively tighten his grasp on the hilt of his sakabatou. 'Has Shishio found me already? He shifted his weight slightly and prepared to turn around.
"Okaasan, look at that sword!" The young voice sounded excited. Kenshin slowly relaxed his grip and began to walk down the road again. "Is it real, 'kaasan?"
"Hush, dear, we need to hurry and get home." Kenshin's eyes closed briefly at the nervousness he heard in the woman's voice and his steps faltered slightly. All around him, people were keeping their distance, wary of the sword he carried. His sharp ears could hear the whispers as he proceeded through the countryside.
"It's a katana...a samurai, here?"
"Doesn't that boy know swords are outlawed in this day and age?"
"Better stay away..."
"It's the Meiji era, what need do we have for swords?"
Kenshin winced at the disapproval apparent in their voices, but kept walking.
~~
I'm so tired,
I can't sleep,
Standin' on the edge
Of something too deep.
It's funny how we feel so much
But we cannot say a word.
We are screaming inside,
Oh, we can't be heard.
Chorus:
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
~*~*~*~
"So, did you say good-bye to your girlfriend?" Saitoh Hajime sneered, the smoke from his cigarette forming a wreath above his head as they stood in the middle of the dark street.
Kenshin glared at the policeman, a sudden amber light in his eyes. His heart, however, gave a curious jump. 'Girlfriend...' Part of his mind stayed on the young woman who had come to mean so much to him, even as he conversed with Saitoh.
'Kaoru-dono...' cried a small corner of his heart. 'I am sorry for causing you pain.' The hurt in her eyes had upset him deeply, more than he had thought possible. He had taken her in his arms, partly to block out the sight of those eyes, but also because he couldn't bear the thought of leaving without holding her at least once. The feel of her slender frame against him had weakened his resolve, enough so that the glimpse of Kaoru's tears as he pulled away almost destroyed his determination to leave. Walking away from her had been one of the hardest things he had to do.
'Put her out of your mind, Himura,' he admonished himself. 'You said your good-byes.' Yet his heart didn't seemed inclined to obey his mind, as the sight of Kaoru's tears froze in his memory.
~*~*~*~
Kenshin blinked as he entered the shade-filled woods. He stood for a moment, allowing his eyes to adjust to the different light. It had been impossible for him to keep from thinking about her during his journey. His mind had a tendency to wander back to the Kamiya dojo, back to her smile and the sound of her voice calling his name. And no matter what he tried, his thoughts would inevitably return to the remembered sight of Kaoru surrounded by fireflies.
'I may not get the chance to return to Tokyo. Why couldn't I tell her my feelings when I had the chance?' Kenshin shook his head ruefully, as he mentally listed the numerous reasons why he had kept silent. Topping the list, of course, was his blood soaked past.
'Coward.' Kenshin blinked, taken aback at scorn invested in that single word. It had been too much to hope that HE would have remained hidden, buried in the depths of his psyche. 'Why this much turmoil over one silly girl?'
'Kaoru-dono is NOT silly.' He smiled slightly at the incongruous adjective. Kamiya Kaoru was many things, but silly was not a word one used to describe her. His smile grew, as he realized the strangeness inherent in arguing with oneself over an adjective.
'Hmph...you can't even call her by her name in your own thoughts!' The quiet inner voice sounded exasperated. 'Why don't you just admit it? You're scared.'
'Scared of what?'
'Of opening your heart to someone again. Of getting hurt again.'
'...That's...not true...'
Even as Kenshin denied that claim, another voice resonated in his mind, sending a slight chill down his spine. '...a rain of blood...'
~~Verse 2~~
So afraid to love you,
More afraid to lose.
I'm clinging to a past
That doesn't let me choose.
Where once there was a darkness,
A deep and endless night,
You gave me everything you had,
Oh, you gave me life.
~~
The image of a beautiful young woman floated into his mind, along with the half-forgotten fragrance of white plum blossoms. 'Tomoe...'
He remembered their life together, as a medicine maker and his wife. Remembered other fragments of their past, etched into his soul. 'I will protect your happiness,' he had promised her. 'You are the sheath for my katana.'
'You really make it a rain of blood.'
Her face, so calm and peaceful. Her slender frame cradled in his arms. The rare, gentle smile on her lips as she touched his wounded cheek. The smile that stayed on her face even as she breathed her last.
'Tomoe...I couldn't save you. When you died, I swore never to kill again.'
'What about Shishio?' his inner voice accused 'Will you forget how Okubo Toshimichi died? Will you let him destroy what the Ishin Shishi fought for? What WE fought for?'
'I will NOT kill! I am no longer you!' Kenshin retorted. A sense of desperation rolled over him.
'Ah, but you need me. Isn't that ironic?' The Battousai replied humorlessly. 'Stop fighting it. This is the reason you left your...friends...behind, isn't it?'
Kenshin's step faltered. His thoughts turned once again to the Kamiya dojo, and his friends. The faces of those he cared for drifted through his mind. Ayame and Suzume, helping him with the laundry. Yahiko, practicing his exercises in the dojo. Sanosuke and Megumi, quarreling at the dinner table. Kaoru and Megumi, bickering over a comment the lady doctor had made. Kaoru, yelling at Yahiko and chasing him around the courtyard. Kaoru, smiling at him when he came back from an errand.
'Sagara Sanosuke. Myojin Yahiko. Takani Megumi. Kamiya Kaoru.' He ran through the names like a litany, a prayer against the encroaching darkness, strengthening his resolve. 'No matter what happens,' he vowed to himself, 'I will remember all of you and what our friendship has meant to me. Thank you for allowing this unworthy one a moment of peace. It may be the Hitokiri Battousai who is needed in Kyoto, but I will do my best to return as the rurouni you took in.'
With that thought firmly in place, Himura Kenshin steeled his heart and lengthened his strides. Kyoto...and Shishio Makoto...waited for him.
~~Chorus~~
I will remember you.
Will you remember me?
Don't let your life pass you by,
Weep not for the memories.
~~
Notes:
1) Well, what did you think? Comments & suggestions are welcome!
