Love Potions

Disclaimer: Everyone and Everything belongs to JK Rowling (This is starting to sound like my Squaresoft disclaimers). All fall down before her and warship her for her greatness. NOW! Um I would but I don't growl, not even for reviews. *casually mentions* some would be nice though; wink, wink.  Let's see is there some else? Can't think of anything.

Note:  Um, um, um. I finally found a beta reader so this ought to make better sense than they normally do. Thank you Carmen for beta-ing for me. This fic is to make our dear Prof Snape embarrassed *insert evil little laugh* This ought to be good. Oh to Snape fans. I am a Slytherin and I do like Snape (not all time favorite but he's better than   p-p-p-p-p poor p-p-p-p professor Q-Q Quirrell and others). Okay let see, silk boxers? Check. Card? Check. Someone to deliver? Check. One embarrassed potions master? You bet! Okay enough rambling, I still have other stuff to write.


The day started out as any other normal day, that is until Snape opened his eyes and looked at the calendar. It was one of the days he dreaded most of all (Christmas was the other). It was Valentine's Day. He fell down on his bad and covered his face with  his hands. "Not again." He muttered to himself. "Another day of being asked for love potion recipes and having to deal with students sending owls all over the place to deliver cards… and the Valentine's Banquette professor Dumbledore is holding, but best of all, double potions with Potter (a/n: did anyone ever think that maybe he hate teaching Harry as must as Harry hate being taught by him?)."

He relax himself and then left to teach his classes, hoping that everything would go smoothly (A/n: Yea like I'd would let that happen) and everything did. He got to take marks off of Gryffindor, thanks to Fred and George Weasley who made hearts fly thru he air to all the girls. If there was one thing that always made him feel better then it was taking points away from Gryffindor. Yes all went rather well, until the last two periods…

"Today we are gonna make a dexterity potion. Please don't burn the whole class down mister Longbottom. Now you'll need…" He droned on in his tired way. That is until a owl flew in and dropped a package on his head. Curiously he picks it up and places it  on his desk. He pulls the tag of the box and brings it closer to read. He glares up suddenly to see all the students stare at him curiously. "Get to work or I'll deduct points from both your Houses."

This only scared them enough to make them not stare so openly at Snape. He let out an annoyed growl and opened the note. It was a simple one liner: For my favorite Potion Master. Your SA. He stared at the last word for a moment and the it sank in. Secret Admirer. His brow furrowed as he stares at the note confused. –I have a secret admirer?- he thought.

He glares at the students again wondering if this was a practical joke. Seeing no one that looks suspicious, except Harry but he always look suspicious, he picks up the parcel and slowly opens it. To his surprise nothing jumped out at him. Instead all that was in the box, as far as he could tell, was a piece of silk cloth. He slowly picks it up and lifts it into the air, only to discover that it's a pair of silk boxers. They where black with little wands on them. Snape's eyes widen in shock and he stares at the boxers in disbelief.

The snickers from the whole class brings him back to reality and he stuffs it back into the box. He glares at the class. "Fifty points from each House. NOW GET TO WORK!" All the students jump in their seat and then start working hurriedly on their potions. 20 minutes passed in blessed silence, except for Neville's potion exploding (five more point from Gryffindor) and Snape started to relax again thinking that would be the end of it. Obviously he was wrong.  (a/n: insert evil smile here)

Snape felt his heart sinking into his shoes as two owls fly into his class. One drops another box, this time on the table and one a card that flutters to the floor. Having now almost developed a fear of valentine boxes he picks up the card from the floor and glares at the class. They all pretended to be working but he knew better. He looks from the card to the box and then decided that a box couldn't hurt him. He puts the card down and opens the box carefully. It was a harmless (well at lest in normal terms) box of chocolate covered cherries. It the lid there was a note taped: Are you as delicious as these are? SA. These words made him go deep scarlet and he could hear the class whisper but when he looked up everyone sat innocently working on their potions.

It was almost too sickly innocent to bear. For a few brief seconds he considered throwing the box at one of the students (Potter would have done nicely) but then decides against it at the fear of the class actually seeing what is in the box. Thinking the worst was now over he picks up the card. It had a huge heart on the front. He opened the card as was instantly sorry that he did for it started to speak. He turn bright red in embarrassment and tried to make the card shut up but it wouldn't stop, not even when he closed it:

"My dearest Snuggily Waggaily

 Oh sweetest lover

Capturer of my heart

You have caught me in that brooding stare                  (a/n: I really wish you would wash your hair. Oops sorry)

Your Love potions have me in their snare

I am yours forever true

Please say you will be mine too

Be mine valentine …

Your SA"

That was the last camel that broke the straw's back. Snape jumped to his feet and pointed at the Gryffindor who all where laughing their heads off. "IT ALL YOUR FAULTS I JUST KNOW IT!" he yelled and they all stopped and sank down in their chairs. Snape glares at all of them and then points at Hermione. "IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT? YOU'RE A BLOODY KNOW IT ALL AND NOW YOU THINK YOU ARE FUNNY TOO. DON'T YOU ?" Hermione  was so shock that she just gaped at Snape. Then she realized that he was waiting for an answer. "It wasn't me sir, I…" but Snape caught her off "DON'T LIE TO ME GRANGER!"      

That was all poor Hermione could take and she got up and ran out, crying. The rest of the students just sat there and after a few more minutes of glaring at them he bellowed: "GET OUT OF MY SIGHT, ALL OF YOU!" and they all scrambled for the door, leaving Snape alone to calm down.

Nighttime came and Snap was now looking forward to a good meal and then getting to bed so that this whole mess could be over. He left his classroom, where he had spent the rest of the day, and went to the Great Hall. It was decorated with red hearts and white cupids, which made Snape sneer in discussed as he sat down next to Dumbledore. He glad that nothing else had happened and that he could now enjoy a quite meal and then get to bed, but he was wrong. He was very, very wrong. After Dumbledore's speech he looked down at his plate only to find another note. Opening it he saw it was his SA handwriting. Your dinner is up in your room. He got up angrily and stalked of to his room, ready to kill anyone that messes with him on the way there.  

He flung his door open and gasped in shock. Normally his room was very plain, black curtains, black bedding on his four-poster bed and his desk with a few favorite book on it, but not tonight. Now his bed was covered in rose pedals that also covered the floor. Candles stood everywhere and there was a small table in the middle of his room with his dinner on it and some roses in the middle of the table.

"Hello Severus." Spoke a female voice behind him, causing him to turn around.  "I should have known it was you," snarled Snape as he looked at Professor Trelawney. He of course had no idea who had done it and she had never even made his list of suspects. "but of course, the start have predicted this." She said as she took his arm and led him to his seat. "Oh really?" he asked –I wonder if the predicted your death, it will happen as soon as I find my list of ingredients for an untraceable poison.-  He though vindictively as he sat down to 'enjoy' a night with his Secret Admirer…

The End.