The boy sat by the cliff, just watching the gulls flying above him.
The waves pounded relentlessly against the jagged rocks below, a never
ending deafening symphony of sound , punctuated only by the screeches of
the gulls, loud enough to drown out all but the most determined attempt to
speak. Or think.
His mind was a jumbled mass of confused thoughts, all questions without answers swirling around guilt and anger.
"Why me?"
"Why blame me?"
"Am I really guilty ?"
"Why can't they see it was all beyond my control?"
"Do they hate me?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"WHY?"
Again and again the questions plagued his mind, until he thought he'd go mad. MAD! He felt like he was already on the stairway to insanity, his attempts to stay calm and sane evaporating like ice in the bright summer sun. There was no place to go, no place to hide, for he remembered all of them, things said that hurt and the blame was poured upon him like a waterfall of ice cold water.
"No! No! I did not want this!"
And yet, while rehashing the past mixed with accusations from the present …. He could almost believe that the guilt was well deserved. That somehow, the chain of events that had happened could have been stopped… if only he was a little faster, a little more alerts… And those eyes, so dear to him, only held deep disappointment. The man had said nothing, no reprimands, no harsh admonishments but sometimes words are not needed ….. just looking into those blue eyes were more than enough.
Enough! Enough of this! The boy scrambled to his feet, screaming.
"I just want to forget! You hear me? Forget!"
But the wind needed not the tears, the sea cared not the anguish. The gulls mocked him with their cries.
The boy sank back down to the ground, drawing up his knees and burying his head in them. Silently muttering…..
"I want to forget…. Forget…. Please… let me forget.."
A seagull swooped down, spared only a glance for the forlorn figure on the ground, then dismissing him with a small cry.
The day wore on.
His mind was a jumbled mass of confused thoughts, all questions without answers swirling around guilt and anger.
"Why me?"
"Why blame me?"
"Am I really guilty ?"
"Why can't they see it was all beyond my control?"
"Do they hate me?"
"Why?"
"Why?"
"WHY?"
Again and again the questions plagued his mind, until he thought he'd go mad. MAD! He felt like he was already on the stairway to insanity, his attempts to stay calm and sane evaporating like ice in the bright summer sun. There was no place to go, no place to hide, for he remembered all of them, things said that hurt and the blame was poured upon him like a waterfall of ice cold water.
"No! No! I did not want this!"
And yet, while rehashing the past mixed with accusations from the present …. He could almost believe that the guilt was well deserved. That somehow, the chain of events that had happened could have been stopped… if only he was a little faster, a little more alerts… And those eyes, so dear to him, only held deep disappointment. The man had said nothing, no reprimands, no harsh admonishments but sometimes words are not needed ….. just looking into those blue eyes were more than enough.
Enough! Enough of this! The boy scrambled to his feet, screaming.
"I just want to forget! You hear me? Forget!"
But the wind needed not the tears, the sea cared not the anguish. The gulls mocked him with their cries.
The boy sank back down to the ground, drawing up his knees and burying his head in them. Silently muttering…..
"I want to forget…. Forget…. Please… let me forget.."
A seagull swooped down, spared only a glance for the forlorn figure on the ground, then dismissing him with a small cry.
The day wore on.
