El-ahrairah's Owsla
By: Axel Sregor

The primroses were blooming once again. It was a beautiful summer day, and the sun was shining bright. Of course, this was thanks to Lord Frith, who bestowed his light upon the world. Lord Frith created the world and the stars by scattering his droppings throughout the vast blackness of space. In all these, there existed wonders, beyond imagination, however, Lord Frith kept the most wondrous things for his own kingdom. In this kingdom, there existed a vast warren; the warren of El-ahrairah.

El-ahrairah, whose name means 'prince with a thousand enemies', was regarded as the king of all rabbits. He was renowned the world over for his craftiness, and ability to get through any situation. His was no ordinary warren. It's inhabitants were rabbits whose time on earth had passed. It's Owsla was composed of the most courageous and crafty rabbits ever known. The captain, Rabscuttle, was El-ahrairah's best friend and most trusted comrade. It was his job to keep the elil at bay, for if the warren was destroyed, all rabbits would cease to exist. Among the bravest and craftiest rabbits in the Owsla, there was one who stood out. His name was Hazel.

On this day, Hazel was at silflay, happily hopping through the grass, eating as he went. He had just spotted a large patch of clover, and was about to start eating, when he heard someone coming up behind him. It was Rabscuttle.
"How are you adjusting to our warren?" he asked, nibbling on a long blade of grass. Hazel turned and sat on his haunches.
"Quite well, sir," he replied, "This place seems so much like my warren, but I find it strange to not be chief." Hazel turned and started eating the clover, as did Rabscuttle.
"Well, I have some news that might make you feel more at ease with your current situation." Hazel regarded him with a confused look.
"What might that be, sir?" Rabscuttle sat up and swallowed his clover.
"Follow me." Rabscuttle led Hazel to the warren's main burrow, where other a lone rabbit lay sleeping. It was a large rabbit, bigger than Hazel. Scars adorned its body in various places, but the thing that Hazel was most interested in, was the thick tuft of fur on top of its head.
"Thlayli?" Hazel gasped. The rabbit stirred and woke up. It stretched out, revealing a long scar on it's left haunch. No doubt about it, this was Bigwig.
"Ugh.....where am I?" Bigwig groaned to no one in particular.
"Bigwig, it's really you!" Bigwig's eyes went wide. He turned around, and nearly fainted when he saw Hazel.
"H..H...Hazel-rah?" Bigwig stammered. He was throughly confused. This couldn't possibly be Hazel, unless........... "I'm dead, aren't I?" Rabscuttle nodded.
"That is correct," said Rabscuttle. "Welcome, Thlayli, to the warren of El-ahrairah." It took Bigwig a few moments for this to sink in, but slowly, it all began to make sense. The last thing he remembered was following a strange rabbit into the sky, and leaving his body behind.
"Bigwig, what happened?"
"I was lying in the grass, and then I heard someone calling my name. The black rabbit came down from the sky toward me. He asked if I wanted to join his Owsla, and I agreed. I think I knew what was going to happen, but I was too sleepy to make sense of it all." Hazel nodded. He turned and hopped out of the burrow, with Bigwig behind him.
"That's how I came here. How is the warren, by the way?" Bigwig stopped and nibbled on a blade of grass.
"It is doing well. Pipkin is chief now. He's grown into a fine buck."
"Yes, I imagined that he'd be a good leader someday." Hazel simply stretched out in the grass and relaxed. Bigwig finished nibbling and lay beside him.
"Isn't there something we have to do?" he asked. "We are officers of the Owsla after all."
"That's how I used to think when I first got here. Don't worry about it. If there is any need for us, Rabscuttle will alert us." Without another word, the two friends drifted off to sleep.


At that time, neither of them knew that another rabbit had arrived just as they had left. It was a great, hulking buck, with a badly scarred nose and a scar across its left eye. The rabbit looked around the burrow in confusion. He had just been out in the woods, fighting a fox; so how did he get here?
"And....who might you be?" The rabbit turned around and saw Rabscuttle looking at him.
"I am General Woundwort, and I'll be the one asking the questions. Now, who the hell are you, and where am I?" Rabscuttle reared back and cuffed Woundwort so hard, that he was sent reeling across the burrow.
"First off, never show disrespect to the captain of El-ahrairah's Owsla. As for the answer to your question, I am Rabscuttle, and you, my friend, are dead." Woundwort pulled himself to his feet and stared at Rabscuttle in disbelief.
"El-ahrairah? Rabscuttle? Those are just fairy tales." Rabscuttle cuffed him again.
"If I were a fairy tale, could I do that?" Woundwort couldn't believe what was going on. No one could ever knock him around like that. Then he caught something Rabscuttle had said. He was dead? No, it was impossible........wasn't it? The more he thought about it, the more sense it made. The fight with the fox, the fact that he was suddenly in this burrow, and this rabbit who claimed to be Rabscuttle, knocking him around as if he were a mere yearling. He had it accept it; he had died and gone to hell. Or at least, he thought so. Woundwort sank back, trying to think of a way to escape his current situation. Force wasn't an option, given his previous beating. He doubted that he would be able to outsmart Rabscuttle, as he was almost as good a trickster as El-ahrairah himself. The only thing he could think of was running, which he wasn't terribly adept at, because of injuries he had suffered while fighting Thlayli. Thlayli! Every time he thought of that rabbit, his blood boiled, so to speak. He'd do anything to get back at him. Then Woundwort realized something.....he was dead, so past injuries meant nothing anymore. He tried to move his bad leg. It worked as well as it had before he met Thlayli, and he was quite the runner then. Without warning, Woundwort took off, blowing past Rabscuttle. He ran outside and looked for somewhere to hide. He ran toward a large patch of over grown grass, and ducked down, trying to hide from view.


Bigwig awoke, feeling Hazel nudge him in the side. He stood up and looked around.
"Why did you wake me?" he asked. Then he heard someone stamping. Hazel looked down at him.
"That's why," he replied. "We're needed." The two followed the sound of the stamping back to the burrow, where Rabscuttle was waiting.
"You stamped, sir?" Hazel asked.
"Yes. A rabbit who just arrived has run off." Bigwig wrinkled his nose.
"So? You let me run off."
"Yes, but this particular rabbit is a danger to everyone, and needs to be contained. I want you two to capture him"
"Okay," said Hazel, "What does he look like?"
"Well, he's got a scar across his left eye, a scarred nose, and he's big." Bigwig and Hazel just looked at each other.
"Alright, leave it to us, sir," Bigwig said as he turned to leave. Hazel remained stationary.
"Sir?" he asked, with a hint of fear in his voice. "Do you happen to know this rabbit's name?"
"His name is 'General Woundwort'." Bigwig froze in his tracks. Hazel simply remained where he was, in a state of shock.
"D..di...did you say 'Woundwort', sir?" asked Bigwig.
"Yes," replied Rabscuttle, "and by the look on your faces, I assume that you've met him before." Bigwig and Hazel simply nodded. "Well, no matter your previous encounters with him, it is your duty to bring him in. Do I make myself clear?"
"Yes, sir," the two dumbfounded rabbits said in unison. They turned around and hopped away, trying to take this all in. Woundwort was here, and he had run off. He could be anywhere. The only thing they had going for them, was that he didn't know they were here as well. Hazel looked over at his companion, who seemed lost in thought.
"Bigwig, are you okay?" Bigwig shook his head.
"No, I'm not. My greatest enemy has followed me to the after life." Bigwig stopped running and hung his head. "I don't think I can do it Hazel. I don't think I can face him again." Hazel lightly cuffed Bigwig in the head.
"Think, for Frith's sake!" he yelled. "You are dead, so he can't possibly kill you, or injure you. The most he can do is cause you pain, which is nothing compared to the suffering everyone will go through if we don't catch him." Bigwig had to agree with Hazel's logic. Woundwort wasn't a danger to anyone's life here, but he still could do other things. They had to find him, and fast.
"Okay, let's split up," Bigwig said as he hopped away. Hazel watched him for a few moments, before taking off in the opposite direction.

Meanwhile, Woundwort was desperately trying to find some means of escaping his current situation. He was used to being in dangerous situations, but not hopeless ones. In the shade under a great oak tree, he rested momentarily, having just run from his previous hiding spot, after having been seen by a passing buck. Once again, he weighed his options. He doubted he could fight his way out of this, as there were rabbits everywhere. It's was a miracle that he had remained unseen as long as he had. He could hide, but that would only be a temporary solution. He thought of running, and trying to escape, but there was no to way to know where to go, and there was always the possibility of being caught. That was it, he was out of ideas. He might as well turn himself in and take it like a buck. He pulled himself to his feet, and was about to walk away, when something caught his eye. It was a buck, and one Woundwort recognised immediately.
"Thlayli!" Woundwort was suddenly filled with the anger and hatred he had been harboring for Bigwig all this time. In an instant, he forgot about hiding and running, and immediately decided to exact his vengeance right there and then. With a growl, he ran head-long at Bigwig. "Thlayli!!!!" Bigwig turned to see Woundwort running at him. He stood his ground, ready for a fight.
"Come peacefully, Woundwort, and I won't hurt you," said Bigwig. Woundwort just sneered and kept running. He hit Bigwig with great force, sending both of them tumbling end over end. The two scrambled to their feet, and faced each other. For a long while, they just stood there, staring at one another. "There's no point in resisting, Woundwort. You can't escape."
"I don't care about escaping. I just want my revenge." Woundwort swiped at Bigwig with his claws, but Bigwig ducked and cuffed him hard in the head. Woundwort reeled backward from the blow. Bigwig pounced and sank his teeth into Woundwort's neck. Woundwort screeched in agony. Somehow, Woundwort managed to get his feet into the right position, and kicked Bigwig off of him. He ran at Bigwig and drew back his claws, ready to deliver a raking blow. However, Bigwig rolled out of the way, and all Woundwort's claws hit were the unfortunate blades of grass where his head had been just moments ago. Bigwig scrambled to his feet, and launched himself at Woundwort. Woundwort jumped out of the way, and let Bigwig go sailing by. The battle lasted for a long time, but neither participant tired. Bigwig, realizing that fighting was futile, finally ran away. "Run while you can, Thlayli. The next time we meet, you are in for a world of pain."

Bigwig ran all the way back to the main burrow, then fell inside, face first. Hazel and Rabscuttle were waiting inside.
"Bigwig, are you alright!?" Hazel gasped as he helped Bigwig to his feet. Bigwig spit out a mouth full of dirt.
"Found......Woundwort........oak tree....." Bigwig managed to say between breaths. Rabscuttle hopped toward him.
"Why didn't you bring him back?" Bigwig finally caught his breath, then fell to the floor again.
"He's stronger than he was before. I couldn't overpower him. We need to find another way to capture him." Hazel and Rabscuttle remained silent for a moment, lost in thought. It was Hazel that spoke up first.
"Well, from what I remember, Woundwort isn't exactly the smartest rabbit." Bigwig nodded
"Yes, and he's obsessed with getting his revenge."
"I've got an idea," said Hazel, "but we're going to need some help."

A while later, Bigwig went back to the oak tree. Looking through the tall grass, he could see Woundwort waiting patiently for him. Being careful not to make a sound, Bigwig crept up behind Woundwort. He reared back on his haunches, and cuffed Woundwort as hard as he could, in the back of the head. Woundwort fell to the ground from the force of the blow, but quickly got to his feet. He turned around to see the rabbit who had done that, and came face to face with Bigwig.
"Hey, Woundwort!" Bigwig taunted. "Come and get me." Bigwig turned around and took off at full speed. Woundwort, never one to let an invitation go to waste, followed closely. Bigwig lead him through the forest, over hills and past fields, never once slowing down. When they reached a vast expanse of long grass, Bigwig plunged in, and Woundwort followed. Woundwort tried to find Bigwig, but he was nowhere in sight. Still, he ran through the long grass, searching for his nemesis. Suddenly, he tripped on something and fell to the ground. He scrambled to his feet and looked behind him, but nothing was there. Just then, he heard a strange moaning sound coming from all around him. He looked around, but nothing was there. By now, Woundwort was becoming nervous. Then, something hit him in the shoulder. He swing around, and found nothing. Then he felt it again. The phantom punches kept coming. Woundwort became frightened. Surely, this must be some sort of punishment for the damned. Woundwort took off and ran through the grass, not knowing or caring where he was going. The moaning sound followed him wherever he went, and so did the phantom hits. With a lunge, Woundwort burst into a clearing and collapsed. Dragging himself to his feet, he looked around him. The moaning and the hits had suddenly stopped. Suddenly, he felt someone tap him in the shoulder. He whipped around and came face to face with Bigwig. "Boo!" said Bigwig, then he cuffed Woundwort as hard as he could in the head, knocking Woundwort out cold.

Bigwig stood over Woundwort's limp body. The plan had worked.
"It's okay, you can come out now." A group of rabbits hopped out of the long grass, each carrying a reed in their mouth. Among them, was Rabscuttle, Hazel, and the prince himself, El-hrairah. The four of them looked at Woundwort for a moment, trying to think of a suitable punishment.
"Hmmm, we could just throw him out of the warren," said Hazel. The others just shook their heads. "No, that won't do," replied Rabscuttle. "What do you think we should do, El-ahrairah?" The rabbit prince looked at Bigwig.
"I think we should let Thlayli decide. What do you think, Bigwig." Bigwig sat on his haunches and rubbed his front paws together.
"I know just what to do."

In the Gulag, the area where all bad rabbits were kept, there was a daily procession. All rabbits were forced to eat, sleep, and hraka when they were told to. As the rabbits walked through the halls, on their way to silflay, they passed a rabbit with badly torn ears, sitting between two giant guards. Few rabbits knew who this was, but for the few who did, it was a frightening sight to behold. The powerful General Woundwort, reduced to standing in the hallways, repeating the same four words over and over again.
"The Owsla were merciful........The Owsla were merciful........The Owsla were merciful.........."

THE END.