(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)
(Author's Note: My life is a hectic hell. In other words, I've been having a very difficult time. First of all, the first day was torture…kind of…because I didn't get to go on the computer! The horror! Although…things are getting better. I have soccer practice on Tuesdays and Thursdays so I won't be able to write on those days. I'll be able to write a little bit on the others. I'm so sorry! I love writing and so I'm sticking with it instead of ditching it completely. I'll probably get a chapter out every two – five days. I'm sorry again! Please don't get too mad at me, you know I love ya. Ok, later babes and stay crunk with lotsa love from Sea Chelle)
Chapter Seventeen
James' mind was whirling with thoughts. Where could Sirius and Hallie have been taken? And who took them? He ran a hand through his hair and then put both of them over his face. Feeling defeated and unusually dispirited, he felt tears come to his eyes. He blinked them away furiously and started to feel a sudden hate to whoever kid-napped his friends. Why them? James would have gladly taken one of their places if it could take sadness or suffering away from them. For some reason, he felt he was to blame.
A gentle hand came down on his shoulder and he jumped up in alarm. He looked around blindly and then caught sight of red hair before him. The boy blinked into focus. He was in the Gryffindor common room and it was some time during the night. What time? He had no idea. The fire burned with a ferocious defiance and cast shadows upon the walls making it seem as if there were more people in the room than there were.
"James, are you all right?" she asked softly. He looked at her.
She was feeling so desolate. It happened all at once. The storm…the wall appearing out of no where…and then Hallie and Sirius being taken away by the cloaked figure. Why was this happening? So many incidents were enough to last a lifetime for her, but still yet, she knew, there would be more. For a reason she couldn't explain, it all felt unfair.
Lily looked to James. He looked a right mess. His hair, though usually untidy, looked particularly disorderly today. With eyes drooping with tiredness and dulled by black eye bags, he looked as if he had lost his family. Yet, she knew, he did. Sirius was like a brother to him and Hallie like a sister. Their whole group was so close it was if they were a family with a lot of siblings. She looked into his eyes. He looked so lonely and devastated as if his lively spirit was ripped away from him. It was depressing just to look at him. By the expressions upon his face, one could feel all the pain and sorrow he felt. She almost wept for him.
"James?" she asked again. She saw him blinking at her. His eyes seemed unusually bright at this time and his clothes seemed to sag on his shoulders. He hadn't been eating lately.
It had been two days since the abduction of Hallie and Sirius and it was tearing them both apart. To Lily and James, everything seemed to lose its life and vigor; it also seemed very quiet. The teachers were doing many things to try and find them, but there was still no luck yet.
"How much longer," murmured James. Lily broke away from her thoughts and turned her gaze on him. He was looking down at her.
"I-I'm not sure. They'll turn up soon though, I'm sure of it. Dumbledore's doing everything he can; they're bound to be found anytime now. He might even have them on their way back here now," she said, trying to sound confident and cheerful for James' sake. She sounded much better than she felt.
James nodded. He tried to force a smile to thank her for trying to cheer him up, but it just wouldn't come up on his face. He turned to walk back to his seat on the couch near the fire but stumbled. Lily quickly ran up and caught him, carefully assisting him to his seat.
"Thanks," he whispered. She sat down next to him.
"They'll be all right, James, they're tough, they can make it," she told him sincerely. He opened his eyes and looked at her. A bit of the fire he used to have in himself started to burn as he looked at her. He hugged her. She went stiff for a moment, and then relaxed and hugged him back. She buried her head into his shoulder. "They'll be all right," she said again. He leaned his head on hers and sighed. Soon, things would get better soon. He could almost feel it.
Remus sat on the bench on the street sitting cross-legged with his head resting on his hands. The night was still young. Everything in his mind was a jumbled mess. It was strange really; he couldn't seem to remember who he was or where he was. It was as if he had no past.
How had he lost his memory? It was in the back of his mind somewhere…a bit like a dream still remembered because of its peculiarity and strangeness. He was walking about some place, perhaps yesterday, when a woman appeared before him. She was inhumanly beautiful with silver hair that seemed to be made of stars while her dress was so smooth it looked as if the material was water.
The woman had spoken to him and all his thoughts ran away from him as if sand slipping through fingers. Her voice was like angels singing in the heavens. She spoke to him for a short while, but as of this moment, Remus couldn't remember a word she had said, only her beauty was fixed in his mind.
The boy looked up and down the street. There was no one out that night; he was alone. It was only then that he looked up at the sky. The stars were bright that night and the sky was cloudless. He looked at the mysterious creamy-white moon, which loomed in the sky in a haunting way. Remus was especially amazed at how round and full it looked. It was like he had never seen the full moon before.
It was then that he started to feel dizzy. His stomach turned and rolled wildly inside him as an excruciating pain shot through his spine. It seemed like his whole body was twisting and turning, changing from one form to another inside. Screaming seemed like the right thing to do at that time, but pure fear held him back. Remus shut his eyes tightly and curled up in a ball, but that only added to the pain and he fell to the ground. He tried to stop the changes by holding back, but the transformation seemed to have a mind of its own. His mind felt as if it was being crushed when he tried to stop the changes so he desisted.
And then, it was over. The pain was still there, but the changing was done. His mind whirled, though it wasn't really his mind. It was as if he was someone else, two people in one. A strange hunger raced through him. He looked around, searching for something to eat. Remus ran down the street, still searching. Where could he find something to satisfy his hunger?
Then there was an aroma of food. His mouth watered at the smell. It smelled sweet, innocent, different and different. Most importantly, it was nearby. Down the street he raced, then he crossed through a yard. His breath made a white mist in the air because of the cold, but he ignored it, all he wanted was to be fed, and soon, he would
Lydia sat on the couch with her book in hand, but she wasn't reading it. Soon it would be Christmas and how she despised the holiday. She hated it with a hatred she thought she never would or could possess.
A memory she would rather have completely forgotten kept running through her mind. The happiness and excitement she had felt that day…and then the shock and sadness that came afterwards. It was horrible to remember that day, Christmas day.
Her mother came in. "Lydia, honey, are you all right?" The girl looked up and forced a smile.
"Of course, and you?" But her mother wasn't convinced. The older woman sat next to her daughter and hugged her.
"It's hard, I know, I had to go through it too," she whispered. Lydia shut her eyes to try and prevent the tears that threatened to come, but it didn't work. The drops of liquid spilled from her eyes and she brushed them away.
"I keep remembering it, it's so hard to forget." Joanne rested her head on her daughter's and closed her eyes.
"I know, dear, I know. But we can get through this, we still have each other." Lydia looked up with a grin.
"Mum, that was horribly cheesy," she said with a laugh. Her mother joined in. Maybe this Christmas would be different, just maybe.
"You will come with me this instant! You are my son and will do as I command!" yelled William Pettigrew. His son Peter Pettigrew cowered against the wall with his eyes wide, facing his father with fear.
"F-Father, I-I can't, I don't want –"
Will cut him off. "I don't care what you want, Peter. Who has provided you with a home and food all your life? I have! And who is offering you the best future you can imagine? I am! Now you listen to me, you not joining me now will make your future become a living hell. You will most certainly lose your life if you don't join the master. And if he doesn't take it, I will." Peter looked at him in horror and Will laughed. "Yes, I will kill you if it comes down to that. I'm being merciful right now, and that's why you're not dead just yet. Now come, come with me, together, father and son, we will be unstoppable and the master's number one servants!"
Peter thought of James, Sirius, and Remus. They had always tried to make him stand up for himself and his beliefs. With defiance, he said, "I don't want to go with you. I hate the master!"
His father's eyes flared with rage as he walked up to his son. Will raised his hand and hit his son making the small plump boy fall to the ground and curl into a ball. "You coward. Do you think those friends of yours care about you?" Peter shut his eyes and tried to block out the sound of his father's voice. "Of course they don't, you foolish boy! Look at them! They're top of every class! They're clearly better than you are! You think they care? Well, you're wrong. They don't, they don't care about you at all."
A wire seemed to snap in Peter. "They do care! They do! They're my best friends!" William kicked his son.
"Foolish and stupid, that's what you are." He kicked the boy again. "Look at you compared to them! Do you think they even like you? Do you?" Will laughed mirthlessly when Peter kept silent. "They don't and you know it. They don't care, and I doubt they ever did. You're nothing, boy, nothing compared to them. Now come with me, our master calls." Peter shut his eyes and let the silent tears fall from his eyes. They did care about him, he just knew it. Why would they have taken the time to help him all the time if they didn't care? Why would they include him in everything they did if they didn't care?
Just think what they would say if they were here, Peter, just think, he thought to himself. "I'm not going with you, Father, I hate the master, and I hate you, I hate the Dark side. I'm not going." The quiet in the room at that moment was one so thick it could have been cut through with a knife.
"Then I will make you," said William in a deathly calm voice. He pointed his wand at the small boy curled up on the floor. "Crucio!"
Arthur walked down from the dormitory with a yawn and Leo was on his side. Down the steps the two went not speaking but there was a sleepy silence between them. When in the common room, Arthur looked at the fire, yawned again, and then went to the painting, which swung open. He stepped out and waited for Leo to follow, but the boy didn't come. Puzzled, the redhead went back into the common room to see the quidditch team captain staring at something.
"Er – Leo, you all right?" asked Arthur cautiously. Leo turned to him with wide and amused eyes as he pointed to the couch. Arthur followed the other boy's gaze and felt his eyes enlarge. Lily and James were lying down, fast asleep with no care at all. They looked like two heavenly angels.
"Arthur, is that even allowed?" Leo asked, his voice a bit higher than normal. Arthur laughed and walked over. Lily's head was rested on James' chest and he was hugging her softly. It was the most adorable sight he had ever seen in his life.
"Of course it is, you nitwit. Stay there, I'll be right back." The boy ran up the steps to the girls' dormitories and knocked quietly.
"Hold on, I'm coming!" came a voice from the other side of the door. A short moment later, Molly Stevens stepped out. She looked at him in surprise. "Arthur? What is it?" He grinned.
"Do you still have that camera I gave you last Christmas?" he asked. She blushed a soft crimson.
"Er – yes I do. Do you need it?" He nodded and smiled sheepishly. "All right, let me get it." She came back a while later with it in hand. She offered it to him.
"Oh, well, actually, if you would come down with me…there's something I want you to see," he said in a quiet voice. His neck and ears were starting to flush. She smiled up at him.
"Ok then, lead the way." He took her hand and led her down the steps to where Leo was still gaping. Arthur laughed and rolled his eyes. "Take a picture of that, will you, Molly?"
"That's adorable! Look how cute they are!" she exclaimed. She snapped a picture of the scene. Lily snuggled closer to James who yawned and rested his head next to hers. "This is too cute!" Molly took another picture. She was laughing in mirth. Arthur was smiling and Leo was looking surprised.
"Are you sure that's allowed? They're only…what? Twelve?" Arthur and Molly laughed. He looked at them in bewilderment. "I don't see what's so funny. Just look at them! Kids these days! Yeesh!" He threw his hands into the air and left the room. Arthur watched after him and then looked at Lily and James, then to Molly who was still looking at the two kids.
"Er – Molly, there was something I wanted to ask you," he said. She looked up at him expectantly. "Um – well, see, maybe-maybe one night, you'd like-like to-," he stammered. Molly laughed.
"What is it Arthur?" she asked. She squeezed his hand, encouraging him to continue.
"Wouldyougooutwithme?" he asked all at once. Molly looked at him for a while as she tried to make out what he had said. When she did, many expressions passed through her face.
"Go-go out with you?" Arthur's face was a deep crimson now. Molly blushed but smiled reassuringly. "I'd like that." He blinked at her for a few seconds.
"You – oh – ok, um – maybe – er – tomorrow? Is that ok with you?" he stuttered. He swallowed and his Adam's Apple noticeably moved up and then down. She grinned.
"It's fine." There was an awkward silence between the two for a few short moments before Molly said, "Want to walk with me to the Great Hall?" Arthur looked up from his shoes and smiled.
"Of course, madam." He offered her an elbow, which she put her arm through. Together, they strolled to breakfast.
James blinked and started to sit up when he felt something against him. He looked down to find Lily sleeping beside him and felt a surge of wonder pass through him. It was only then that the events of last night passed through his mind. He sighed and lied back down. He looked at her. Her cheeks were flushed with sleep and a strand of hair was on her face. Gently, he brushed it away with a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. She was just so cute when she slept.
She opened her eyes and saw James smiling sweetly back at her. Smiling back, she sat up. "What time is it?" she asked groggily. He grinned.
"I'm not sure. Probably around ten-thirty to eleven." She nodded and yawned.
"I'm going to get dressed, I'll see you in a bit, k?" she asked.
"All right." She went up the steps leaving James watching after her with an expression she couldn't read. It was different, something she had never seen him have before. And it scared her because she could always tell what he was feeling. Only this time, she couldn't.
Celeste Bristol lay down on the soft grass contentedly. Everything was fine. Life was good. She looked up at the sky. It was a beautiful sight. The colors were starting to fade into brighter colors for the sun was beginning to rise. The chilled air felt cool against her fair skin and her blonde hair was like a halo around her head. It was straight and long with small curls at the end. Her mother always loved playing with it saying that it was beautiful and too unusual to be natural, though it was. Her eyes that were green and amber sparkled with a cheerful blaze of life.
Lost in her thoughts, she didn't hear the howl nearby. Slowly, he advanced. He watched her every movement cautiously and steadily like a true predator. His heart was thudding painfully in his chest with anticipation as he came closer and closer. And then he was standing before her.
Celeste jumped up in alarm and turned around to see a light brown werewolf standing before her. He attacked and a long piercing scream filled the night.
Peter woke up and found himself in a cell. He didn't know where or why he was there, but he was and it was cold. He sat up but felt shooting pains all over himself so he just lay there, motionless. The poor boy's clothes were in rags but the rest of him seemed perfectly fine. Anyone who would think he was in perfect condition would be completely wrong. Having had the torture curse performed on him time after time, he was in pain.
It hurt to even open his eyes so he kept them shut. It hurt even to breathe so he slowed his breathing and took each breath in slowly. It hurt to do anything. For a long time, he stayed in that room. Hunger seemed like something that he would never again feel for it hurt too much. It was as if it just wasn't a feeling known to him. That feeling when you're aching for food so much that soon, the feeling just disappears; that was how he felt.
A long time later, the door to his cell opened, and someone came in, but Peter didn't open his eyes for fear of who he might see, or the pain he would feel when he did open them. Whoever it was put something on the floor next to him and lingered there for quite some time. He knew who it was of course, but dared not say a thing, or move a muscle.
William looked at his son for a long moment. The boy was still curled up in a ball and a look of sheer pain was upon his face. The man averted his eyes from the sight and then briskly walked out. Did he cause the ache his son felt? Was he the cause of all the pain in the boy's life? Yes, yes he was. But why? Why was he always torturing Peter? His own blood, the pride of his life?
He never told the small boy that he loved him. He never said a single word of praise or encouragement either. Why? It was a question he never dared to ask himself, but it was always in his mind. Why was he so cruel to the person he loved most in the entire world? The only person that kept him sane through all his trials and tribulations? Life was a living hell for William Pettigrew. It just plainly was. With Lord Voldemort watching his every move and practically controlling him, William had almost no say in the doings he did. The only thing he had control over was his son.
It was so wonderful to have the freedom of caring for the boy. Just that Peter was there was like the light in the dark. But why was he so hostile? This question made his heart feel as if it were slowly being shredded. He tried to push it aside, but he couldn't.
Will leaned against the cell door and let himself fall to the ground in a pathetic heap. Why do I treat him so? The man asked himself for about the millionth time. Because I don't care.
A lie, that's what that is, William. You care; you love him more than life itself, said another voice in his head. He blinked back the sudden burning liquid that had come to his eyes. You love him.
"I don't!" yelled Will. "I don't love him! I hate him! Just look at him!"
Is it the appearance of someone that one falls in love with? He is your son, your pride; he is the boy in which you placed yourself into.
"I know, I know," he whispered. His voice cracked and he fell into silent sobs. Tears fell from his face. "I'm just so scared, I-I don't know what to do. I just don't want him to be like me…I don't want him to be another William Pettigrew. Just look at me, my best friend and his wife are dead. And it's my fault. All my fault." The sobs came faster and more violent. He ran out of the house and as far as he could go. Where he was going, he didn't know, but he had to leave. He had to escape it all.
He came to Death's Bed. The waves crashed and fell upon the sharp rocks below. He was crying outright now. At the horizon, he could see the sun start to rise. In one spontaneous moment, he jumped off the cliff, perishing to the sea's wrath. Only one thought was in his mind in that short moment of life he had left, and that was, I love you, Peter.
(Author's Note: Thank you to Pheonixgrl*** and Rinoa3Squall for your reviews! I really, really appreciate it! It gives my writing love a boost and my will to write a…a…um…push, yeah, a push. I don't know what word to use to describe it but…these reviews give it to me. Thanks a bunch!)
