CHAPTER ONE

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For the Daniel/Janet shippers, there may be a bit in here

"Dead?" Daniel repeated.

Jack was sitting quietly in the corner, avoiding anyone's gaze. Dr Janet Frasier was sitting on the infirmary bed, also avoiding eye contact. Teal'c stood, facing Daniel.

"I believe so," Teal'c said.

Teal'c could not find the right words to say. Anything he thought of seemed like it would do more harm than good. He noticed a tear rolling down Janet's face; she turned away so no one could see it. Daniel took a step backwards and fell into the chair there. He was stunned.

Jack was glaring at the ground. "She can't be dead."

"I do not believe SG-13 would lie about such a thing," Teal'c said.

"She's not dead," Jack said, looking up and directing his glare at Teal'c. "She can't be."

Teal'c decided it was better not to say anything else. The room fell silent again, Jack return to glaring at the floor. Jack suddenly jumped off the bed.

"I'm going to the debriefing, if anyone else cares to join me, I'll be in the debriefing room," Jack almost shouted, storming out of the room.

"He's hurt," Daniel muttered.

"And you are not Daniel Jackson?" Teal'c asked, he still did not understand humans sometimes.

"He's hurt in a different way," Janet said.

Daniel nodded, looking away again. Teal'c could see he was afraid to cry, especially in front of anyone else. Teal'c had had enough of the sadness, he turned around to leave.

"Teal'c don't leave," Daniel said. "I don't want anyone else to leave."

Teal'c nodded and resumed his position, standing near Janet. He understood this. Daniel didn't want to risk loosing anybody else. He wanted his friends to remain by his side. Teal'c felt the same. But another part of him wanted to forget what had just happened.

* * *

Jack entered the debriefing room and placed himself at the opposite end of the long table to General Hammond. SG-13 seemed even more upset when Jack walked in. They were obviously grieving too, but they didn't know Sam as well, so it hadn't meant as much to them.

"Colonel O'Neill, I believe you know Major Ingles," Hammond said.

"We've met briefly," Jack replied.

"I'm so sorry Colonel, I…we tried to save her," he whispered, not looking at him.

"It's OK Major, I'm sure it wasn't your fault," Jack said, his shoulders slumping.

There was an awkward silence, then Hammond stood up and took command again.

"So what happened out there SG-13?" he asked.

"We were just collecting soil samples and plant samples all that sort of thing. Major Carter set up an observatory to look at the stars or something," Major Ingles started. "We weren't doing anything suspicious or wrong. But it turned out there was a Goa'uld settling on the planet. They attack us and we saw…"

He stopped and almost choked on his words. "We saw one of them shoot Major Carter with a Zatnicita three times, she just disappeared."

Jack felt tears welling up in his throat and eyes. He tried to push them back, but was too late to prevent one falling down his cheek, he look away.

"There was nothing we could do," Ingles choked. "Permission to leave debriefing?"

"Permission granted, in fact I'm giving you all a week off, take a break," Hammond said. "Colonel O'Neill, can you round up SG-1 and have them in here within ten minutes?"

Jack nodded and walked out.

* * *

Daniel looked up as Jack walked back into the infirmary. They were still sitting in the same positions, as they had been when he'd left. Even Teal'c looked more subdued than normal…if that were possible. Janet had been crying; a lot. Daniel also had red eyes.

"Hammond wants us in debriefing room now," Jack said, walking out again.

"I've never seen O'Neill so subdued before," Teal'c muttered as the trooped out of the room.

But Daniel knew better. Jack was trying not to talk, in fear that he would choke on his words; that he would cry in front of them. He saw Janet trying to wipe away the tears from her eyes, but more kept coming. Daniel wished he could cry too. But he knew that if he lost it, Jack wouldn't last long either. He stepped over to Janet and put his arm around her, trying to comfort her.

She shot him a thank you glance and gave up trying to wipe the tears away.

"Greeting SG-1…and Dr Frasier," Hammond said, looking at Jack suspiciously.

Daniel and Janet and moved apart before entering the room. They all sat down in their normal seats and Janet took Sam's normal place. Jack shot her a glare, but she wasn't looking. Daniel noticed it, but decided it was probably better not to bring it up again.

"I am sure that you have all been informed of Major Carter's unfortunate departure from us," Hammond started.

"She's not dead," Jack choked.

"Colonel O'Neill, you heard what SG-13 said…there is no possible way she could have survive," Hammond said.

Jack stood up and moved to the window, looking out towards the Stargate. Daniel knew he couldn't be holding the tears back any longer. Jack moved his chin up slightly.

"She can't be dead, I won't hear it," Jack said.

"Jack…" Daniel said. "I don't want to hear it either, but we can't…"

"No Daniel, you don't understand," Jack said, turning to face him, his eyes red. "You don't understand!"

He stormed out of the room. Daniel gulped and sat back down in his chair. They all fell silent. Janet started to cry again and Teal'c stared at empty space. Daniel glared at the table. He understood, better than Jack thought he did. He knew Jack harboured feelings for Sam that he wasn't allowed to, but that had never stopped him.

"SG-1, you are dismissed, we will call this meeting another time," Hammond said, even he was touched by it. "You may leave."

Teal'c stood up to leave but Daniel and Janet couldn't muster the energy to move from their seats. Finally Janet stood up.

"I should ring Cassie and tell her," Janet said.

"No Doctor, go home and tell her," Hammond suggested.

"Yes, sir," Janet said, leaving the room.

Teal'c nodded and also left the room. Daniel remained in the chair he was sitting in.

"Dr Jackson, would you like to take a week off?" Hammond asked.

"No, I prefer to go on another mission straight away," Daniel said.

"I can't allow that Dr Jackson," Hammond said.

"Can I visit Abydos?" Daniel asked.

"Permission granted Dr," Hammond said. "Maybe you should take Dr Frasier and Teal'c with you, I think it would do them good to get out of here."

"What about Jack?" Daniel asked.

"He should remain on Earth, I'm afraid he might try something rash," Hammond said. "There is a reason we put down regulations…in case you haven't noticed."

Daniel nodded and left the room. "We'll be ready to go tomorrow morning."

"Get some rest," Hammond suggested.

"Yes, sir," Daniel replied

* * *

"Colonel O'Neill?" Teal'c asked, entering the room.

"Go away," he muttered.

He was sitting in Sam's office, fiddling with the flowerpot that was always sitting on her desk. Teal'c ignored him and entered the room.

"That's an order," Jack said.

"O'Neill, I am also feeling grief," Teal'c said.

"You don't sound like it," Jack shot back.

There was a silence.

"I'm sorry," Jack said.

"No it is I who should be sorry," Teal'c said. "I will leave."

"No Teal'c stay," Jack said.

Teal'c almost smiled. It was the same reaction that Daniel had had. Jack and Daniel were more alike than they thought. As if on cue Daniel walked into the room. He looked up and stopped.

"Sorry, I'll leave," he said, turning around.

Jack didn't protest. Teal'c knew that they had not always been such good friends and their friendship was unstable. Daniel had probably read Jack's mind and realised it better to leave.

"Teal'c, is there any chance she's still alive?" Jack asked.

Daniel turned around and walked back in.

"There is no chance," Teal'c said. "If she was shot three time with a zatnicita there is no possible chance."

"None?" Daniel asked, hopefully.

"No," Teal'c said.

* * *

Jacob Carter looked solemnly at the ground. He was dressed in regulation Airforce uniform. Just like everyone else around him. He looked up as Jack walked next to him. He didn't look so good. He was clean and his hair was neat, his uniform perfect, but there was something about him that told Jacob that he wasn't having the best day of his life.

The twinkle that usually occupied his eyes was gone. His eyes seemed dull and black, instead of their usual twinkling brown. There was no mischief in his eyes. No smile; there was always a smile, whether he was in the middle of a battle or sitting in an office listening to Sam or Daniel blab on about science stuff he didn't even understand.

"Jacob," Jack acknowledged him.

"Jack," Jacob replied.

Usually Jack would have said something about Selmac, made a joke. No joke, no comment. Nothing. He seemed empty, and Jacob knew exactly how he felt.

"I know you were…close…to my daughter, so I understand how you're feeling," Jacob said. "Jack I'm so sorry."

"I'm sorry too, Jacob," Jack said. "I'm really sorry. You don't know how sorry I am."

"Actually, I am probably the only one who does," Jacob said.

As much as Jack wanted to deny this, it was true. If they had been somewhere more private, they both would've broken down in tears. But they were both too strong to do so in front of a hundred other people.

"And now her Commanding Officer, Colonel O'Neill, would like to say a few words," the speaker said, stepping down from the podium.

Jack stepped forwards and solemnly made his way up the ramp. His thoughts weren't on Sam though, he was thinking of Charlie. He had had too many deaths in his life, maybe it was time to retire. Thoughts ran through his mind, until one rested on the smiling face that had accompanied him almost every day for the past four and a half years.

"Major Samantha Carter was a valuable member of the SGC," Jack started, then he looked down at his speech and ripped it into tiny shreds, he was going to say this from the heart. "Carter and I got off to a bad start. On the first day we met each other we had about four arguments over little things. That continued for a while. But after a few missions I got used to her scientific mumbling and her over smartness. I don't think it was really until I got stuck in Antarctica with her that I realised what a good friend she could be.

"SG-1 became very close over the years. We were the first SG team made and we have probably travelled to more planets and been in more battles than most of the other SG teams. But we always managed to escape. No matter how many times one of us was nearly killed we always survived. Sometimes one of us was killed, but there was always a sarcophagus in the area.

"The loss of Sam has had a big impact on all of us. But SG-1 and Jacob Carter have felt this impact more than anyone else here. Although Jacob Carter is her father, and therefore family, the rest of us were as close to her as family as well. Teal'c was a good friend to her, Daniel was like a brother. I…"

He broke off, he'd said enough. Then he looked around, he started saying it, he might as well finish.

"I cared for her a lot," he said. "We all did."

He turned off the microphone and walked down the ramp, ignoring the sorrowing gazes from the other SG teams. He walked straight to Jacob's side. Jacob put a hand on his shoulder.

"You did well," Jacob said.

Jack looked at him for a moment and then nodded, turning back to the funeral. "I tried."

They moved the microphone away from the ramp and dialled the planet that Sam had been murdered on. Jack and Jacob moved up the ramp, holding a reef in their hands. Jack's thoughts flashed back to Daniel's funeral four years earlier. He had felt sad then, but not in the way he did now. They moved slowly towards the blue wormhole and eventually the pushed the reef through.

Suddenly Jack disappeared through with it. There was a shout and people started mumbling. Jacob could only smile. Jack still couldn't believe that Sam was dead. Neither did Jacob. She wasn't the type to die so easily.