(Disclaimer: I own nothing.)

(Author's Note: Sorry this story's so friggen long, guys. But I promise you this time; it's coming to an end. Please bare with how I'm trying to rush it; it's just that I'm excited for my ending. I'm still planning it out a little bit. But the second to last chapter is pretty much finished in my mind, the last one is the tricky one…I think these chaps will be really long because I've got lots to tell. Umm…oh yeah. These chapters will also contain a lot of conflict because I'm trying to reach the end and it'll all kind of get put together…some of it. Some of the others will be continued in the sequel, and others will pertain to previous conflicts. Ok, bye!)

Chapter Thirty Six

Time passed by without many events. Though, Lydia's funeral did take place. Remus was able to keep his self-control, but the following two nights, he cried himself to sleep. It would be a long time before the pain would wash away, if ever it did.

~*~

James sat in the armchair on the hearth, just waiting. Then he heard the footsteps. He smiled for he knew who it was, he knew because he had heard the soft pats on the wooden floor that she made every night she came down to talk to him. He stood up and she smiled at him. "Hi," she said quietly. He held out his hand and she put her smaller one in his.

A shiver ran up her spine when they touched. Though she was cold, warmth overcame her when her hand touched his. He squeezed it with a smile and they took a seat before the fire. "What did you want to talk about?" Lily wondered, somewhat cautiously.

He smiled. "Lily, would you be my girl friend?"

~*~

The next morning, they all sat at the breakfast table except Sirius who came in late. He slammed the doors open and plopped himself onto his seat amid stares from many in the room. "Sirius," said James with a small smile. "Everyone's staring at you."

The boy looked around and grinned. "So they are." He took another bite and then looked at his best friend thoughtfully. "They're probably admiring my good looks." At this comment, Hallie smacked him upside the head. He wagged his finger at her. "Tisk tisk, remember the last time you did that?" She just laughed and rolled her eyes.

Remus looked at him for a moment before saying, "Sirius, I just remembered our little bet."

The other boy dropped his fork with a clang. "Bet?" Sirius asked.

James and Peter looked at each other. Peter said, "Oh, yeah! But, didn't he win?"

Sirius looked at Remus expectantly, yet with an air of victory. "No, he didn't," said James.

Remus grinned. "That's right, he broke it off the day before!" Sirius nearly choked on his sausage.

"So…what was the losing side of the bet again?" asked Peter with a cruel smile. Sirius shot dagger looks at him. The other boy just laughed.

"Pink dress! Pink dress!" exclaimed James.

Sirius put his head in his hands. "Oh dear god…"

~*~

The next day, James said, "Come on out, Sally!"

There was a groan on the other side of the bathroom door. The group laughed. "Come on, Sirius," said Hallie. "How bad can it be?"

The door suddenly clattered open and there was Sirius, looking absolutely ridiculous in his pink dress. His muscular features definitely stood out by the slim figure of the dress. Remus was even kind enough to add pretty flowers and bows to it. Sirius' face was ghostly white though there was a rosy tinge to his cheeks because of embarrassment. The boy's midnight black eyes radiated fury. "Absolutely stunning, dear," said Andrea who had sneaked up behind them.

Sirius' eyes widened to the size of tea saucers. "Andrea, if you tell a soul I swear I'll -," but she cut him off.

"Bye!" she said with a gleeful smile.

Sirius groaned and sat on the floor with a 'thump', the dress flowering around him. Hallie took a seat next to him. "You look beautiful, Sirius," she said with an angelic smile. He glared and swatted at her, but she ducked and laughed. "You're the one who made the bet," she said softly, "not me."

Lily came over and said, "Sirius, did you take that dress from my closet?" with her hands on her hips.

Another pained groan escaped his lips. "My life is ruined…"

~*~

The rest of the year went by smoothly and nothing out of the ordinary happened. Lily and James became a couple and were never seen apart, except when the Marauders were together doing pranks and such.

Before they knew it, they were seated in one of the compartments on the train. James looked out the window with a content smile, then back at his friend around him. "Only two years left," he said softly. Lily squeezed his hand and gave him the sweet smile that she reserved only for him.

Sirius grinned. "We'll be out in the real world. I fear for myself in such a big place."

Hallie rolled her eyes heavenwards and said, "Personally, I fear for the world with people like you walking around in it." He swatted at her playfully and laughed.

Remus smiled, sharing a look with Peter who was covering his mouth because of the risk that laughter might escape. "Are you guys dating?"

They stopped trying to hit each other to stare at him. "What?" they wondered simultaneously. Lily and James laughed. "What gave you that idea?"

The other four shrugged. Hallie frowned slightly but then said, "You all have to come to my house this summer, my dad's living with me."

Sirius' eyes widened. "We can come to your mansion?"

She laughed. "Well, maybe not you…"

~*~

"I'll get it!" Hallie yelled, running down the steps. Requillo smiled and watched as she rushed to the door. Out of breath, she opened it and was face with Sirius. She smiled. "Hi." He raised a brow but his face broke out in a grin. She opened the door wider and stepped back so he could, in turn, step in. The girl waited, but he didn't move. His mouth, however, was wide and gaping, as were his eyes.

Requillo stood up with a chuckle and stood behind Hallie, his hand on her shoulder. "Hello, Sirius."

The boy blinked for a few short moments before looking at the older man. He noticed that Requillo's face had lost its lines of sorrow, with the exception of but a few at the hard times in which he had to pass, but had gained the lights of happiness. "Er – hello."

Hallie rolled her eyes. "Sirius, if you don't come in right now, I'm going to slam the door in your face," she said putting her hand on her hips.

He grinned and swept a very gallant bow. "Of course, madam," he said in a rich accent.

And then suddenly, he was on the floor. Hallie and Requillo laughed. "Hi, Peter," greeted Hallie with laughter in her voice.

Peter had come via broom and because he was not an exceptionally good flyer at all…well…he flew straight into Sirius. "My, I'm very glad that the door wasn't closed," Requillo commented.

Sirius looked up with an ironic grin. "That's something that I would have said!"

Hallie covered her face in her hands. "Dad, do not say another word if you're going to sound like him, one Sirius is enough."

Peter stood up, finally, and brushed his robes to straighten them out. "Sorry for my rude entrance," he said with a crooked grin, "I guess I need practice with brooms."

Hallie put a hand on his shoulder, "Just do what I do, Peter, don't even touch them."

He raised a brow. "How kind of you to suggest it, Hal." She laughed and shook her head.

Then there was something like an explosion of light from the living room behind them. They all looked to the fireplace where James was helping Lily up from the floor. When they noticed that the rest were looking at them, they smiled sheepishly. "Floo powder," explained James. They all nodded in understanding.

And there was Remus who stood at the doorway behind Sirius and Peter. "Uh – hello," he said in a puzzled sort of way. The two boys before him turned around grinned at him.

"Hey, Remus."

They all followed Hallie and Requillo around the house on the tour for they would be staying there until school started which was only two weeks away.

James' and Sirius' and Lily's mouths all dropped to ground level when they saw reached their last destination. Hallie laughed and said, "And this is our quidditch field."

Requillo motioned to a little closet on the side. "There are the brooms, the snitch, the quaffle, and the bludgers," he added. The other three practically raced to it and when they looked inside, they all gasped at once.

"How-how-," started James.

"But-but-," said Lily.

Sirius just gaped.

Remus laughed at them.

"Mom was a singer, remember? She got some money from performing," said Hallie quietly. They all looked at her.

"You're rich!" said Peter. She just rolled her eyes.

The rest of the two weeks went by quickly.

~*~

As the years went by, things remained mostly the same. Voldemort, however, was on his rise and evil was spread around the world. Everyone thought that it was the end of the world…but the upcoming years would be the worst out of them all.

They were now in their seventh year and they were nearing graduation.

James sat with Sirius and Peter in the common room. They saw the portrait hole open and Trisha Sansbury stride in with her queenly air. Her curly blonde hair fell beautifully down her shoulders and her hazel eyes were lively yet cold as she gazed around. She then spotted the three boys before the fire.

"Hello," she said with a smile. They just looked at her. "Where's Remus?"

James smiled crookedly and a bit coldly. "You were always one to get straight down to the point," he said.

She sighed. "Yes, yes, now where is he?"

"Me?" asked a voice from the steps. With a smile, Trisha turned and rushed over to where Remus stood. She wrapped her arms around him and gave him a long kiss. He didn't move. When she was finished. He looked at her. "What're you doing here?"

She put her hands on her hips and glared at him. "What, is it a crime to say goodnight to my boyfriend now?"

Remus sighed inwardly and touched her cheek softly. "Sorry, I'm just tired," he said. She blinked at him, unmoved. The corners of his mouth twitched into a slow smile. His handsome face was changed into a bright ray of light and Trisha felt her knees weaken. "Am I forgiven?"

She put her arms about his neck and he held her close. "Of course you are," she whispered into his ear. She kissed his cheek. "Goodnight, Remus," she said quietly, then made her exit.

He watched after her for a short while before turning around to walk back to his dormitory. "Remus," said Sirius with a slight frown, "wait."

The boy did as was told and looked at his three friends expectantly. "Oh, that's right," he said in a somewhat choked voice. He strolled to the portrait hole. "Will I see you guys later?"

Sirius opened his mouth to say something with a deep frown on his face, but James said, "Of course you will."

"Same time?" asked Remus. James nodded and the boy took his leave.

Sirius scowled. "What'd you do that for?"

Peter gave him a look. "What were you going to say?"

The other boy opened his mouth to say what he was going to say and then shut it tightly, his lips forming a straight and white line. His face was strained. James placed a hand on his shoulder. "I know," he whispered.

"I just don't understand!" said Sirius in aggravation.

Peter looked away, his eyes troubled. James said, "I don't either, but when he wants to tell us, he will."

Sirius abruptly stood and made a noise of impatience. "It's been almost a year! How much longer does he bloody need?" he yelled.

James grabbed his shirt and forced him to sit down. "Don't talk so loud, do you want everyone to hear?" Sirius pulled away and crossed his arms across his chest as he leaned back in his seat. "You have to be patient. This is Remus we're talking about here, he never does anything without a reason."

"What the hell could the reason be? Have you seen that girl?" said Sirius in a fiercely strained voice. "She's – she's Trisha."

Peter chuckled hollowly. "Perfectly described, 'she's Trisha.'"

Sirius ran a hand through his hair. "If he's our friend, then I don't get why he's keeping any secrets." He stood and walked away to the boys' dormitory.

James and Peter watched after him. James with an expression of worry, and Peter with a troubled one.

~*~

"Should we wake Sirius?" whispered Peter. James looked to the boy's bed.

"You don't have to wake me," said a muffled voice. "I'm already awake." Sirius withdrew his curtains and sat up. He changed into his robes and walked out of the room. James noticed his eyes were stormy with anger. He looked at Peter who smiled crookedly.

"I'm not going to talk to him tonight, I know what'd happen if I did," he said. James shook his head and followed his best friend who had earlier taken his leave. Peter did likewise and followed James.

Sirius reached the Whomping Willow and glared at it as the vicious tree tried to hit him. He waited until James and Peter caught up with him. Peter changed into a rat and touched the knot on the tree. James and Sirius followed the mouse into the tunnel and transformed after they opened the door leading to Remus, who was a werewolf. After a short rumble of introduction, they escaped from the Shrieking Shack to Hogsmead.

Sirius lagged behind, watching friends. It was going to be a long night of hard thinking for him.

~*~

The next morning, Remus forced himself out of bed and looked dizzily around. Madam Pomfrey rushed in and smiled. "Good, you're up early today." Her face sobered a bit. "Are you all right, dear?" she asked softly.

He smiled and nodded. The door to the hospital wing suddenly slammed open. Trisha ran to him. "They told me you were sick! What're you doing here? Are you okay? What happened?" Remus didn't answer her, but lied back down on the pillows that propped him up. "Remus!" she shrieked, shaking him. "Wake up! Wake up!"

Madam Pomfrey hurried over and stopped the girl from doing anymore harm. "Stop it this instant, Miss Sansbury, you're going to hurt him."

"Me?" she screamed in incredulity. "Me hurt him? Look at him, woman! He's dead! He's dead! My god…" Her voice ended in a whisper.

Remus' head spinned wildly and his vision became blurry. Finally, it focused and he looked at Trisha's horribly concerned and worried face. I love you, Lydia, he thought before he fell into a peaceful darkness.

~*~

James sat on the armchair before the fire and felt the radiant heat beat on his skin. His pale blue eyes reflected the dancing flames and his hair was as messy as ever. The seventeen-year-old boy's handsome face was solemn.

Lily looked at him for a moment before walking over. "Are you all right?" she whispered softly. He slowly looked at her and forced a smile. She smiled back. He opened his arms to her and she sat next to him, enveloped in his comforting embrace. James rested his head on her shoulder and closed his eyes. "Why are you up so early?"

He sighed deeply. "I couldn't sleep," he whispered back. She squirmed so that she could face him and he looked up.

"James, you're troubled about something."

A genuine smile brightened his face. "How do you always know?"

She hugged him tightly and kissed his lips gently. "Tell me what's wrong," she said.

He turned his gaze from her to the fire that blazed brilliantly with flashing colors. "What do you think of Trisha?" he wondered. A frown appeared on Lily's face and he grinned. "I don't like her," James confirmed.

She rolled her eyes. "I wasn't thinking about that," she told him. "You should know me by now." He tickled her sides making her laugh and slap him. His mouth dropped and she grinned. "You deserved it. Anyway, back to your question…what do I think of Trisha? I think she's a rotten and mean girl. Not to be mean or anything, but it's the truth. She's in Ravenclaw, isn't she?"

James took her hands in his.

Lily squeezed his hands and tilted her head sideways to look into his eyes. "James, what's the matter?"

He dropped his hands into his lap. "Why is Remus going out with her? He doesn't even seem to like her!" He shook his head and heaved a great sigh. "I'm just worried about him. He seems so different than how he used to be."

Lily looked at him and then to the fire. "He's been through a lot," she said quietly.

This statement made James look at her sharply. "Like what?"

She still didn't look at him. "Lydia," was all she said. James too, looked away.

"That was two years ago, Lily," he said softly.

Now she looked at him. "James, do you love me?"

Startled, he quickly looked at her. On impulse, he said, "Of course I love you."

"How would you be if I died two years ago?" she asked him. He looked at her for a long moment in silence. The he looked away. She nodded. "You just have to see it in his perspective."

He sighed and said. "But Trisha?" She grinned at him. James shook his head and put his head on his shoulder.

Before he knew it, he was asleep.

~*~

Sirius and Hallie immediately parted. Peter laughed. "Finally! Does that mean you both are going out?"

Sirius gave him a look. "No, Peter, we're just kissing because we feel like it," he said sardonically. Hallie hit his shoulder and he grinned at her.

"Don't mind him, he's a stupid git," she told Peter.

"And you seem to like that stupid git," he responded.

"Urgh!" exclaimed Hallie, throwing her hands into the air. "Fine then, gang up on me!"

She stood up but Sirius caught her hand and pulled her next to him again. "Don't leave, we were having a good time. And I'll even admit I'm a stupid git." Her eyebrows rose. "But a very adorable one." She laughed and aimed a smack at him, but he caught her hand and kissed her fingertips. "Just kidding you, Hal," he said sweetly.

"Er – I'll leave you now," said Peter, practically running out. Hallie and Sirius looked at each other and laughed.

~*~

That night, Remus sauntered back into the dormitory, his head down. There, James and Lily were gathered around Sirius and Hallie who were engaged in a Wizard's Chess match.

"Beat that," said Sirius with a triumphant grin. He leaned back and put his arms behind his head. Hallie raised a brow and looked at the board with a quizzical expression.

Remus walked over and immediately moved her queen. "Checkmate."

Sirius nearly fell off his chair and stared at the pieces in consternation. Hallie laughed. "Thanks, Remus!" He shrugged and took a seat on the couch.

Sirius glared at him. "That was cheating! Remus, you're supposed to be my friend." Remus just shrugged again. The other boy's expression changed. "You okay?" he asked. They all looked at him.

He forced a shaky grin. "Yeah, I'm fine."

Peter gave him a look. "Did something happen between you and Trisha? She was in a rage this morning in Astronomy," he said.

Remus just shrugged. James looked at Lily and she gave him a meaningful look. "Remus," he said, "you can tell us anything, you know that right?"

At this, the boy looked up at his friends. All had worried and concerned faces. Inwardly he smiled, even though he tried to smile outwardly as well, he was just too exhausted. "Thanks guys," he said softly. "I'm really tired, I'm going to go to the dormitories." With that, he stood up and walked away.

His friends watched him go by without saying a word.

~*~

What am I doing? Remus asked himself for about the millionth time that year.

He pictured Trisha's pretty, but cold face.

Suddenly, it was changing, though, ever so slightly. The square and frigid features became round and sweet. Her hair became slightly wavy and not as cared for, but beautiful all the same. The eyes, the eyes are what Remus noticed the most. With his own closed, in his mind he saw her looking down at him with a smile what would melt a heart and tears came loose from beneath his lids.

What am I doing?

And then Trisha's face was back. He fought to remember the previous face and when he did, he bit down on his lip so that a trickle of blood could be tasted.

Oh my god…he thought with a sob choking him. Remus turned over on his bed and buried his face in his pillow. Why am I still seeing you? Why won't you go away?

His heart wrenched in his chest and he tried to make the pain leave, but somewhere deep inside him, he knew it wouldn't ever go away.

"I love you," he whispered as he saw the transformed face of Trisha. "That's why you'll never leave me. A smile came to his lips. "And it took me so long to figure that out…"

He quickly stood and looked out the window. A star caught his eye and it shined brightly down on him. I love you, Lydia.

~*~

*SLAP*

Remus held his cheek and looked at Trisha. "Sorry," he said.

It bothered her that he didn't seem sad at all while inside, she was being torn apart. "Sorry? That's all you have to say to me? You didn't even love me this whole time! You've been leading me on! Now all you have to say is sorry?" she shrieked.

He shrugged. "You just reminded me of a girl I used to know," he said softly…and wistfully, looking out a window. It was still dark outside and the star shined down more brightly than he had ever seen it. He looked back at his now ex-girlfriend.

"Who," said Trisha with her hands on her hips. He just shook his head, still looking out the window. She turned his head so that he faced her. "It's that dead girl, isn't it?"

Remus' eyes flared with anger. The flame was so brilliant that Trisha took a step back. "Don't you dare talk about her like that," he said in a deathly calm voice.

She looked at him humorously. Fury radiating out of her hazel eyes. "Why? I can talk about her however I want. She's dead, isn't she? Who even knew her? She was a nobody."

Remus knew she was trying to hurt him for hurting her, but still… "You shut your mouth!" His fists were clenched into tight balls and his nails dug into the skin of his palms. The boy was grinding his teeth as to hold back an outburst that was threatening to escape him.

Lily and James came walking down the hall, their hands entwined. James looked up when Remus yelled and saw the other boy's tenseness. He and Lily ran down to Remus and Trisha. "Remus-," he started.

The other boy pointed at Trisha. "I never want to see you again. I have no idea what I saw in you, you're nothing like her." And then he walked away, his shoulders strained with anger.

Lily looked from Remus to Trisha and back again. "I don't know what you did, but you're not getting away with it." The other girl sniffed indignantly at her and with a last glare, marched away.

James and Lily followed Remus into the common room. Remus broke down. Uncontrollable sobs racked his body and he fought to control himself, but couldn't. He ran a hand through his hair and glared into the fire when at last, his cries slowed ever so slightly. James and Lily both took seats beside him on the couch.

"She looked like Lydia, that's was all. I was just trying to make the pain go away," he whispered. He then buried his head in his hands. Lily hugged him around the shoulders. "I tried to pretend," he swallowed, "I tried to pretend that it was Lydia I was with all the time…not Trisha." He spat out the word Trish with venom as if it were trash. Remus looked up at his two friends. "Why won't the pain just go away? I know she'll be with me wherever I go, but why won't the pain leave?"

James put a hand on his shoulder. "It'll always stay. You loved her that much that the pain at the loss of her is…well…overwhelming. It won't go away, Remus, and it's because she's with you. It's a remembrance of her."

Remus smiled softly and turned his gaze away from the fire. "Then I guess I just didn't see it the way it really was." Lily looked at him in question. "It's not really pain I'm feeling then, is it? – if it's Lydia I'm feeling inside me…" She hugged him and he wiped away his tears. "And I was trying to take the pain away? By dating Trisha Sansbury?" James and Lily laughed. "Dear god…what was I thinking?"