The Gift of Nothing

Vexus woke up early, dressed quietly and tiptoed out of the dorms, through the Slytherin common room and down to the kitchen. She was now 15 years old, in her fifth year at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. And she was on a mission. Professor Quirell had been dodging even her easy questions for weeks now and she was determined to find out more about the Unforgivable Curses. 'How am I supposed to defend myself against them if he won't even breach the subject.' She didn't consider Professor Quirell one of her favorite teachers. She continued the monologue in her head as she left the kitchens and headed for the library, 'Snape could do that job better than Quirell does. I would bet a hundred Galleons Snape could tell me all about the Unforgivable Curses.' She had no idea how correct she was.

Severus Snape's participation with the Death Eaters was a fairly well known fact in certain circles. He had changed sides and provided information to the Ministry at great personal risk. He wanted the Defense Against the Dark Arts job, but knew that with his, some might say unfairly, tarnished reputation he'd probably never get the job. So instead he was the dark and intimidating Potions Master. He was a harsh teacher and nearly all of his students were a waste in his eyes. None of them grasped the art of Potions, except one.

He had been hard on her even by his own standards in the beginning, however the years showed that she would not break under the pressure and he decided to nurture her gifts instead. He had reservations about even letting her in the school. Only he and two others knew that she was the child of Lord Voldemort and the extent of her abilities was not even known yet. Snape knew that she could focus her abilities without a wand and in her second year had cursed a fellow student. He also knew now that she was provoked into that and understood that she was not the type to torment her classmates with out reason. Which was odd for a Slytherin.

He also knew she had been developing her talent in this area and was becoming quite adept at performing simple charms and spells merely by pointing or in some cases merely speaking the spell. She did not know that he had seen her once move an entire stack of books by merely mumbling some Latin and flicking her wrist.

This morning he was up early as well and had planned on breakfast before getting started reviewing his sixth-years work from the day before. It was by sheer coincidence he saw Vexus leaving the kitchen and heading down the hall. He could tell she was headed for the library and at 4:30 a.m. there would be no one there to make sure she didn't wander into the restricted section. He had a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach. His discussions with Professor Quirell had already convinced him that if she didn't start getting some better answers out of the stuttering professor's lectures she was going to find answers on her own. What surprised him was that she didn't even try to hide on her way to the library so he followed her.

Once last year he had discussed this very thing with the headmaster and was told that if he was so concerned about it he should tutor her. At the time he recoiled from the idea. But now he could see it was the best way to make sure she didn't get into things she shouldn't. When he got to the library he flung the doors open, hoping to catch her in the act. Instead she was sitting innocently at a table reading a book about Quidditch. She looked up at him and grinned. "Good morning, Professor Snape." She had sensed someone following her and decided that she would continue to the library and be caught doing nothing at all. She was angry that she didn't get at the restricted section, but hid it well.

Snape knew that he had been had and decided that since they were both here he would go ahead with what he had decided. "Miss Vexus, I am aware of the situation in your Defense Against the Dark Arts class." his voice was a rich baritone when he wasn't yelling or being nasty, and Vexus liked to hear him speak.

'What the hell am I thinking?' she thought. "Eww. Your teacher, and of all of them Snape!'

He was oblivious to this inner dialogue and had continued. "I have discussed this with Headmaster Dumbledore and we've decided that it is in your best interests if I offer some additional instruction, to supplement Professor Quirell's lessons." He looked at her and saw that she liked the idea. "We can begin this afternoon after your potions lesson."

Later she told her best friend about the exchange. They were sitting in. the library studying their Transfiguration notes. Teresa had been her friend since her first year and was often Vexus' partner in crime, so to speak. Teresa and Toby Matthews were the closest friends she had. "I don't know. I've got nothing against Professor Snape, but it does get a little intense in his class sometimes and having him as a tutor on top of that." She shook her head. "Good luck, I guess."

"I think it'll be fine. Besides I'm dying to know why Quirell won't go into that stuff." Vexus was genuinely excited about learning more. She was a little nervous about having to spend so much time with Snape. He was the head of her house and had eased up on her a bit since her first year, but being around him made her nervous.

Once they got started the lessons went well. She picked up information quickly and had no problem performing the Cruciatus curse on her first attempt. Severus was reminded suddenly of all the times he had seen her father perform that curse on unsuspecting Muggles and the delight he took in eventually killing them. He watched her closely for any sign that she was enjoying herself. There was none, her interest really was only in understanding enough to defend herself. She had even insisted that if she were going to perform the curse it would only be on a spider. Even a rat was unacceptable.

After a few months they both felt that she had learned what she wanted to learn and the tutoring stopped. There was really no time for it anymore as Quidditch practice took up all the rest of her time and she wasn't getting all of her assignments done.

Slytherin once again dominated the other teams. Her not-quite boyfriend Toby took pride in the fact that not only was his girl the prettiest and smartest girl in school but she was also the best Chaser Slytherin had in a decade. He liked to say that loudly for the whole house to hear after every match they won. Vexus rolled her eyes when he said it and just as often retreated to her room after a game and was sound asleep while the whole house celebrated without her.

She passed all of her end of year exams easily and there was discussion about her being a prefect next year. She didn't seem to care about it so her best friend got it instead. As the year wound down she was acutely aware that the following year she would be in the seventh-year potions class and that she had learned enough under Professor Snape's guidance to be way ahead of her Defense Against the Dark Arts class as well.

On the day of the award feast she made her way to the headmaster's office. She already knew that they'd won for the third year in a row and she had more important things on her mind. "Strawberry Licorice" he always had the cutest passwords she thought. She made her way up the steps and remembered a time she stood outside these doors sure that she was going to be expelled.

 She knocked and heard Dumbledore's voice invite her in. She entered the room and saw Severus seated in the chair before the older man's desk. "Vexus" Dumbledore rose to greet her. "Always a pleasure to see you. Everything is well?" his eyes and manner always made her feel like he was her oldest best friend.

"Yes sir, everything is excellent. I was actually coming to talk to you about a couple of my classes for next year though." she didn't need to look at Professor Snape to know that he had risen and stepped aside for her to sit. As she settled into the chair the headmaster was already speaking "The funny thing is that Professor Snape was here to discuss you and isn't nice that all three if us can deal with this now." She smiled back at him.

"Then may I ask what decisions have been made?" she asked.

Snape turned from where he had been examining a wooden box on one of the many shelves that ran along the walls. "I can answer that," again Vexus was struck by how much she enjoyed the sound of his voice. "Since you have, in essence, surpassed the rest of your classmates in your Defense Against the Dark Arts class you will be given the option of taking the course anyway, doubling up in a different class or" he paused slightly and then continued "you may assist me in my first and second year potions classes. I know that potions is your strongest subject and I could use the help, what with them blowing up my class every other day."

She knew immediately which option she would take. "I think I'd rather assist with the potions classes."

"Good then, I will see you both at the feast. I must head down to speak with Hagrid first." Dumbledore rose and headed for the door. "Severus you can see Vexus out." and he was gone. She thought it was odd but didn't say anything as she rose and headed for the door.

"Wait a moment." Professor Snape was still standing by the bookshelf. "I want to let you know that if you think being my assistant is going to get you any special privileges you are wrong and I will not be easy on you in your regular class." His face revealed nothing and she suddenly wondered how he'd react if she stuck her tongue out at him.

Shaking her head to get rid of the image she answered him "Professor, you have never in the past five years given my anything. Why would you start now?" She turned walked out of the room and was amazed that her knees held up all the way back to the tower.

Back in Dumbledore's office Severus Snape was in the middle of a laughing fit. So he'd never given her anything. 'I suppose her life doesn't count.' he thought.

But she didn't know about that.

Over the summer Vexus spent a lot of time with Teresa who was also from a pureblood family and was fascinated by Vexus' family's house. "I think my favorite is that Tee-vee thing." Vexus laughed at her. She had succeeded in getting Teresa hooked on several shows and on several bands that Vexus was fond of. It took a while for her to explain why The Beatles had spelled their name with the "ea" instead of "ee." It was worth it.

"Hey, Vex," Teresa still used the nickname "Wouldn't it be funny if Hogwarts did a talent show?" They were sitting on the floor in Vexus' room painting their nails. They were sixteen-year-old girls after all. Vexus grinned.

"It would be something to see" she paused "Can you picture Professor Sprout and Professor McGonagall doing a rendition of Dancing Queen with Professors Flitwick and Quirell doing backup?"

Teresa didn't get the ABBA joke but she did agree that it would be funny.

Vexus visited Toby on several occasions. They spent more of their time away from his family though. She liked him, maybe even loved him. After she had kissed him at the Yule Ball that year the relationship had developed a physical side. The only other person who knew was Teresa. Vexus was talking about it with her one evening "I don't know why I had let it get this far."

Teresa studied her friends face; she could tell that it was much more than recent events bothering Vexus. Meanwhile Vexus kept talking "I suppose I love him. But there isn't any," she stopped.  "What's the word I want?" she asked.

"Passion?" suggested Teresa helpfully.

"Yes I suppose that's the one." She sighed and looked at the ceiling. She thought that really the problem went much deeper than just the lack of "passion" between herself and Toby. She felt…empty. As a rule it was rare for her to feel anything to an extreme degree. About the only time she really felt like she was alive was when she played Quidditch, but she credited adrenaline with that one. It had always been that way and she had decided it was something she just had to live with.

Before they knew it the summer was over and it was time to return to Hogwarts. This year Vexus would be an assistant to Snape and she was anxious to get back to the school.