The Beginning of the End

The first thing she did was take off the robes and toss them into the ditch as she walked along the road. She also tore the patch off her sweater and tossed the tie away as she had the robe. She walked for three hours before anyone stopped.

Vexus officially became known as Shelby Kline. She spent the next two years in Belfast working at a small bookstore owned by a very old couple. She was true to her word and never used magic. She was tempted at first, but eventually she made herself forget, almost.

Shelby Kline started dating a man who frequented the bookstore. He was a worker in the shipyards and had fallen in love the moment her stepped in the shop. His name was Paul Hewson and he had lived in the city all his life. He was a very quiet and attentive man. It seemed like he was always smiling at some secret joke. He was not more than an inch taller than she was. He had thick black hair and eyes so blue that sometimes it looked like the sky had no better reflection than the color of those eyes. It took him two months before he got up the nerve to ask Shelby to dinner. He was surprised when she said yes.

Eventually they married and settled down. She was now the owner of the store as the old couple had passed away. Charles and Kate had no children of their own and Shelby had always been so kind to them. It was why they hired her in the first place. Charles had died first and Kate soon after. The store and everything they owned was willed to one Shelby Hewson.

Back at Hogwarts, the morning after Vexus left Dumbledore had called Teresa to his office. He told her that Daniel had called Vexus to come home, as Sharon had taken ill. He also told her that Vexus was not coming back to the school, but had said that Teresa should take anything of Vexus' things she wanted. Teresa was saddened, but she had known all along that one day she'd wake up and Vexus would be gone. She never tried to get in touch; she knew that the story wasn't true. She cried as she sat in their room and held Vexus' favorite book. Teresa's parents had given it to Vexus just that Christmas. It was a very old, very worn copy of A Tale of Two Cities. Teresa sat the book down on the bed and it fell open on its own to a underlined passage "It is a far, far better thing that I do, than I have ever done; it is a far, far better rest that I go to than I have ever known."

Albus Dumbledore never mentioned Vexus to Snape. Dumbledore watched him at the far end of the table at mealtimes but didn't say anything. Down in the dungeons the students noticed a change in the Professor. The ones who thought that he was mean before thought that he must've gone mad. It was made worse by the fact that Vexus was not there to act as a buffer anymore. Snape never offered an explanation as to where Vexus had gone. He never offered an explanation for anything really. When Vexus left she didn't take Renai's wand. It had been left behind and Teresa had given it to Dumbledore. Snape found the long slender box on the table at his place as he sat down for dinner a few days after she'd gone. He looked at Dumbledore, who looked back and nodded. Keeping it was the only weakness he allowed himself.

Her housemates noticed that there seemed to be someone missing. It hit them finally, at the end of the year feast, that she wasn't there. Teresa, when asked repeated the story Dumbledore had given her. But Slytherin had won the house cup again and she was soon forgotten in the midst of the end of term activates. Nobody ever noticed that her name wasn't on any of the trophies gleaming in the glass case.

Dumbledore was true to his word and sent an owl every few months. He never mentioned Snape in any of his letters and she never responded. He kept writing though. He knew she was receiving them. Truth be told none of his letters held anything truly exciting, until two years after she had left. A boy named Harry Potter had come to the school.

On the receiving end Vexus read the letters and burned them immediately afterwards. She was a mother now. She and Paul had a set of twins a boy and a girl. They were like carbon copies of their parents, except they both had Paul's blue eyes. They had named them Kate and Charles after the old couple who had done so much for their family. The children were smart and they were a source of joy for Vexus. She loved Paul, but it was the same way she had loved Toby. She resolved to never let him know. They had a happy life and she actually thought that she was content.

When she received the letter outlining the situation with Quirell, Voldemort and the Potter boy she sat down and wrote the first response to any of the letters. The boy intrigued her. He was the boy who lived and she was the offspring of the one who had tried to kill him. She was fascinated by the story. All she asked in the letter was if the boy was o.k. And if the whereabouts of Voldemort were known.

The years continued to pass and every time she saw an owl she got nervous. It seemed like the arrival of Harry Potter at Hogwarts had opened some sort of floodgate for the strange and dangerous. She read each letter not wanting to believe her eyes. She wrote back again after the events with Sirius Black. All she asked again was if Harry was o.k. She had a weird sort of heightened concern for his safety.

Then the letters stopped. She grew even more anxious. Harry was now in his fourth year at the school and she hadn't heard a word from Dumbledore since August. All he had told her was that the school was going to be hosting the Tri-Wizard Tournament. Then the letters stopped. The months rolled by, winter faded into the summer and soon she forgot about Hogwarts again.

"Severus." the voice was cold

"Yes My Lord?"

"I learned the most interesting things floating around that idiot Quirell's, head."

"Yes My Lord?"

"For example, did you know that there was a girl named Vexus at Hogwarts?"

"Yes My Lord."

"It's an unusual name. Don't you think so Lucius?"

"Yes, My Lord."

"Severus, was it her?"

"Yes My Lord."

"Excellent. I think I should introduce myself, don't you Lucius?"

"Yes My Lord."

"Find her."

"Yes My Lord."

It had been a long day at the shipyards and Paul was exhausted when he was finished. "I'm home!" He called out as he entered the house and soon heard the pounding of feet.

"Daddy!"

"Daddy!"

He scooped up the children and laughed. They were a pair of rambunctious four-year olds. He carried them into the kitchen where Shelby was finishing their dinner. He put the children down and walked over to her. He slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her neck. She had her long hair wound up into a bun while she cooked. "Hello, how was your day?" she smiled when he asked her that. He knew that the bookstore was never exciting and everyday was the same as the one before. It was something of a joke between them.

"Busy as ever. You know how it is!" She kissed him and wiggled away to get the pots off the stove and on the table.

As they ate she mentioned that she wanted to head back over to the shop. "That collection I ordered finally came in and I want to get them out on the shelves."

"Can't it wait until morning?" he didn't like the thought of her going all the way back across town this late. Or going by herself.

"It won't take me long. I'll get the children in the bed and I'll run over there. Besides, you're exhausted. You need to go to bed too."

He thought for a moment and then said, "All right, if you're sure you'll be safe." His smile seemed so vibrant suddenly and for some reason she thought that she would always remember this moment. 

She looked at the clock in the hall before she left. Kate and Charles were sound asleep and she had just seen that Paul was in the bed as well. It was 9:08 p.m. She resolved to not stay at the shop past 10:30. She headed out the door.

To say that she never used any magic it all was an error. She often used a little charm that would make people not notice her. She used it when she was out late or alone. It was the only magic she allowed herself to use however. It worked rather well and the two cloaked figures that went by the shop on their way to the other side of the city never knew she was inside.

As she finished putting the last book on the shelf she looked at the clock on the counter. 11:14p.m. "Well I missed it, but at least this is finished." She closed up the store and set out for home. 

Dumbledore had insisted on coming with Severus. Snape had only been able to get away from Voldemort once the Dark Lord had left to meet Malfoy. Severus didn't think that they were going to Belfast until the following night. And so he went to the school and straight to Dumbledore. He recounted what had been said. Albus had decided that they would go get Vexus and her family and bring them to the school that night.

They knew when they arrived they were too late. The house was not destroyed but there was an ominous silence that seemed to hang over it. Inside they found Vexus slumped in the corner at the end of the hallway. There were two doors along the hall and they were both closed. When she heard them she looked up then put her head back down on her knees. "You're too late."

"I'm sorry" Albus said. It sounded trite. She pushed herself up off the floor and stood facing them.

"Why wasn't I warned?"

To Severus she looked like she was dead. There was no color in her skin and no life in her voice. She hadn't looked at him. He heard Dumbledore speaking again "We didn't think he would know about you and didn't want to tell you. No need to disrupt your life again..." His voice was soft and incredibly sad. "I am afraid however that I made a mistake."

"You're here to take me back?" she was still looking at Dumbledore.

"If you'll come with us."

"Fine. Give me a few moments." She finally looked at Snape and he felt a wave of coldness run through his veins.

Vexus turned and went to the door at the end of the hall. She stood looking at it a moment and then opened it and went in. She closed it behind her. They didn't hear a sound from inside and it was fifteen minutes before she came back out. Severus caught a glimpse of a bed and the form of a man laying on it. She closed the door before he saw any more.

She went to the door closest to them and slipped inside. This time they heard her cry. She stayed inside for half and hour. She came out and was holding several things. Two identical teddy bears and two impossibly small plaster castings of a pair of hands.

She pulled the door shut and walked down the hall. Albus followed her into the living room. Snape heard them talking and stepped to the door. He opened it and slipped inside. He caught his breath as his eyes took in the outlines of the children in their beds. He saw a bit of black hair sticking out from under the blanket in one bed and a cascade of brown from under the blankets on the other bed. She had pulled the blankets up to cover them.

He suddenly wanted to scream, thrash around, anything to let out the pain he was feeling. He hated himself, Voldemort, Malfoy. He hated everything about everything he had ever done. To kill the children was too much. He stood there helplessly looking at the small still forms. He didn't hear the door open and he jumped when he heard her voice.

"You knew."

It was an accusation. It was a curse. It was painful to hear her speak the words. He turned around and met her eyes "I knew."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"Liar."

She was still holding the bears and he noticed her hands trembling. 'God, what she must be going through.' he thought

"You haven't ever told me the truth until it was too late." she was crying again "I hate you. I hate you for this and for being alive when they're dead. You don't deserve to live."

"I'm sorry."

She stepped aside for him to leave the room "Get out of here. You have no right to even be in this room or even to look at them. Get out."

He walked by her and out into the hallway. She closed the door and her heard her voice from inside. He leaned closer to hear. She was singing

Bend little willow

Wind's gonna blow you

Hard and cold tonight

Life as it happens

Nobody warns you

Willow, hold on tight

Nothing's gonna shake your love

Take your love away

No one's out to break your heart

It only seems that way

Sleep little willow

Peace gonna follow

Time will heal your wounds

Grow to the heavens

Now and forever

Always came too soon

Little willow

Nothing's gonna shake your love

Take your love away

No one's out to break your heart

It only seems that way

Bend little willow

Wind's gonna blow you

Hard and cold tonight

Life as it happens

Nobody warns you

Willow, hold on tight

He heard her voice catch as she sang. He leaned against the wall by the door and hid his face in his hands. When Albus touched his arm he looked up at the old wizard. "What have I done?"

"What you had to do. Nothing more." he looked at the door "we all have one great tragedy that haunts us. Some of us" he looked at Snape "have more than one."

The door opened and Vexus came out. She looked from one of them to the other and spoke. "Albus please make sure that they are taken care of." He bowed his head.

She looked to Severus "Take me to him."

They didn't speak as they walked through the trees. There wasn't any sound and the silence filled Snape's ears. They had tried for three days to talk her out of going to Voldemort. She made it clear that she was going to find him with or with out Severus' help. Now they were approaching the building known as the Riddle house. Voldemort hadn't decided yet where he was going to make his lair, and the house served his needs for the moment. There were no others around and they entered the house unhindered. When they got to the door that lead to Voldemort Snape stopped. He looked at her and asked with his eyes if she was sure about this. She nodded and opened the door.

Voldemort didn't seem surprised at all to see her. "At last we meet properly."

"Indeed. Hello father."

"I see that I was wrong about you. A rare mistake on my part." he was looking at her coldly

"It happens to the best of us." she couldn't believe how steady she was. He was hideous to her. He looked more like a snake than a human and his eyes glowed red. His skin was the color of a corpse and she suddenly knew where her own white skin had come from. "I must ask something"

"You presume that I will allow a question. I like that. You're not afraid." he hissed at her

"I've been dead once before, it doesn't scare me anymore."

Voldemort smiled "Very well, ask your question"

"Will you have me by your side?"

Snape had been standing back behind her and nearly lost it when she spoke. He didn't betray his emotions and didn't look at her. He was watching Voldemort.

"What makes you think that I'd have you? I had to kill off those pathetic Muggles you had taken up with. I don't take in fifth."

She almost laughed. 'What about your precious Death Eaters?' She thought. It was so ridiculous to her ears. But if he wanted proof she would give it to him.

"Fine, watch and let me know if you see anything useful."

She closed her eyes and the house began to shake. It started low in the foundation and then get stronger and soon the walls were shaking to the point of caving in. Then just as suddenly it stopped. She walked to the window and looked. Several of the Muggles that lived nearby had come out of their houses. She glanced back over her shoulder "You think they'd learn." Voldemort walked over to stand next to her.

"So you shook the house. That doesn't show me anything." his voice was still icy.

"This will." as she spoke one of the Muggles below suddenly seized up and hit the ground twitching. Voldemort's eyed gleamed.

"The Cruciatus Curse. I am impressed now." He walked back over to his chair. He turned his attention to Snape. "Severus, you know her, is she telling me the truth?" his eyes narrowed and he watched Snape closely

"I taught her that curse myself. I believe we can trust her." he sneered at Vexus "Isn't that right?"

She looked back at him "You taught me all the Unforgivable Curses."  She turned to Voldemort who still looked skeptical.  She added  "And he has been my lover as well."

Both of the men stared at her. Voldemort had a twisted smile on his face and Snape had recovered enough to rather convincingly leer at her and reply, "That too is true. Except we have one problem."

"What's that?" Voldemort asked.

"When we touch the Mark burns" he took his eyes off of Vexus and looked to The Dark Lord.

Voldemort considered this for a moment. Then he rose and strode over to Vexus. He took her left arm and pushed back the sleeves. He ran his finger along her forearm and spoke "Perhaps if she too receives the Mark?"

Vexus looked back at him and forced herself to be still.

"My Lord, I think it would be better to leave her without it." Snape continued when Voldemort looked at him "She can be useful to us. That old fool Dumbledore has been considering her for the Defense Against the Dark Arts position and her coming back unblemished would lead him to believe she can be trusted."

Voldemort looked back to Vexus. He pulled the sleeve back down and said "Later then" He smiled and it was the most hideous thing she'd ever seen.

They spent the next few hours planning out exactly how she was going to get information to the Death Eaters. Voldemort suggested that Snape and Vexus act as if they were a couple. It would make it more excusable if they were always in each other's company. Also Voldemort seemed to be very pleased by the notion of the two of them together. When they had finished he sat back down in his chair. Peter Petigrew had brought one in for Vexus. She had sneered at him as he gaped at her. He placed the chair next to Voldemort's and left quickly. Vexus was ready to go and addressed Snape "Do you have anything else to contribute?"

"Nothing at this moment."

"Severus," she said, barley above a whisper "it is good to know where we stand at the end of the day. It makes it easier to sleep."

He knew that the words were not spoken entirely for his benefit. No, there was still another between them. There always had been and he wished that it wasn't so. Voldemort watched silently from the chair next to her.

"Then there are no doubts about your loyalty?" Snape asked her.

"My loyalty is the same as yours, Severus."

Vexus sighed and rose from where she had been sitting. Casually trailing a finger along the back of her chair as she circled it, careful not to betray what she felt. If her father knew that she was only playing along with him she was a good as dead. 'How does he not know?' she mused 'Surely he must know.' He was so powerful and had proved many times that keeping a secret from him was nearly impossible. Perhaps the very closeness between them allowed her more privacy than others in his circle.

While she had been pondering these things her Voldemort had began speaking. "This is a momentous day," his voice smooth and cold  "soon we will finally be rid of that fool Dumbledore and the Potter boy will join his parents. There will be none to stand in our way." The fire cracked suddenly and his next words struck Severus like a fist in his stomach. "It pleases me to see one of my trusted servants and my offspring together. You will begin a new breed of wizards that will finally cleanse this land."

Snape listened attentively and gave the appropriate response of agreement. "I must return to the school now, lest they become suspicious. Vexus, will you be going with me?" He was amazed by the calmness of his voice. How was he so steady?

"Yes." Her voice betrayed nothing. She came around the chair and addressed her father.

Severus couldn't help but notice the reflection of Voldemort's face in her eyes and all the differences and similarities between them. As she started to speak he watched her lips moving and the light playing across her face.

"My Lord, I will send word to you as soon as we are ready to begin." To Snape's horror she leaned forward and kissed Voldemort's cheek "Farewell," a pause, "my Father."

With that she turned towards him and the door, he stepped aside and let her leave the room first, not daring to look back at Voldemort.

They did not speak until they had entered the castle. He had watched her closely as they were walking and sensing that she did not wish to talk her simply studied her in the moonlight. She was so much the same as he remembered her and at the same time she was something altogether different. Her eyes held a kind of deep sadness and her brow was creased with thought. Once they were inside she turned to him and finally spoke "I think that we should go inform Albus of this development. He will, undoubtedly, be concerned for my safety" the words were coming in a rush, yet her voice was a soft as ever, "you will reassure him that I am, and will be fine. This will not work if you two attempt to protect me from what is mine to do. I have to do this."

She stood there thinking 'Please, oh please don't fight me. Please don't fight me on this.' Her mind raced. She waited for him to protest, argue her down, anything.

But it never came; Severus stood before her and understood at last that she was everything that he had ever needed in his life. And that he could do nothing more than stand by her and simply savor each moment they had. He realized now what she had been trying to tell him all along. Ever since he had first held her in his arms as a baby. Her smile was the same now as it had been then.

"On one condition"

"Don't do this Severus" she held his gaze

"I have to." He waited for her to turn away, but she just stood there "I never had any intention of hurting you. Ever. What happened between us was something very important. I was wrong to try to protect you from the truth."

She was still looking at him and not speaking, so he kept going "What happened to your husband and children will haunt me forever. I didn't want to see anyone killed."

She took a deep breath "I know you didn't."

His eyes widened in surprise "I am sorry, I don't know what else to say."

"Do you still love me?"

"Always"

"That's enough. You'll help me through my pain and I'll help you through yours. The rest is out of our hands. I love my children, and I loved Paul. It was my error to ever even allow myself the luxury of a family. I should've known better. People like you and me, we don't get to be happy do we Severus? Fate has something different planned for us." She took a breath to steady her nerves "We need to go to Albus now."

He offered his arm and she took it. Together they walked down the hall, no sound following but their footsteps and the soft rustling of robes.

Author's Note:  The song included in this chapter it titled "Little Willow" and can be found on Paul McCartney's 1997 release "Flaming Pie."  The song is copyright MPL Communications Ltd/Inc. and MPL Communications Inc. under license to Capitol Records. Lyrics reproduced without permission.

I don't usually include songs in my writing and as a rule try not to be overly influenced by what I am listening to while I write. However as I was writing this chapter that song popped into my head. I pulled out my CD, listened and it seemed to just work so well. I can picture in my mind Vexus sitting on the end of her son's bed singing quietly to the children as she had surely done many times before. (*sniff*)

This story, obviously, can now go in several directions. Vexus has to deal with the loss of her family, as does Snape. And she still hasn't met the famous Harry Potter.  I am at a point now where I must decide if I want to continue it in this story or start a fresh one. Let me know what you think.

Thank you to all the wonderful people who have reviewed. You've made all of it worthwhile. I am glad you've enjoyed it.