~Revelation and Redemption~
Severus repressed the urge to roll his eyes as Madam Hooch spoke. For the past two weeks she had been sitting next to him at mealtimes and he didn't know how much more he could take. He had hoped that Vexus would attend tonight; as a matter of fact he was under the impression that it was mandatory. He let his eyes wander over to the Headmaster's chair, willing Dumbledore to arrive and get the feast underway.
"Severus, are you listening to me?" Madam Hooch demanded.
Snape returned his attention to her and nodded "Of course."
She snorted "No you weren't. Don't get snotty with me, you wanted this too."
"Did I?" Snape snarled back at her and looked up to see the Headmaster entering the hall. Hooch turned her attention to the Headmaster as well.
Dumbledore reached his seat and cleared his throat. "Before we begin this evening's feast I have an announcement to make."
There were the sounds of whispers up and down the student tables. An announcement?
"As you all know the Quidditch World Cup was last year, that means that we need a new national team. I am pleased to announce that Hogwarts will be hosting the try-outs." Dumbledore was forced to pause as the hall erupted in various exclamations from the students. Dumbledore looked over at Professor McGonagall who took her spoon and tapped her goblet until the hall had quieted down again.
"Ah, yes, as I was saying. The try-outs will be held in April. In addition to this we will be presenting an exhibition match showcasing Hogwarts best players to open the try-out sessions. The teams will be a mixed group from all houses. Madam Hooch and Professor Snape will be the coordinators for the Hogwarts teams. You may see them if you are interested in further details."
Over at the Slytherin table the House Quidditch team turned as a group to sneer at the Gryffindor table where Harry Potter had gone a pasty shade of white.
Dumbledore clapped his hands and the trays of food appeared on the tables "Let the feast begin!" As he sat down the noise of whispers was replaced by the noise of eating.
Ron and Hermione were trying to console Harry. "Don't worry," said Ron as he piled up his plate with slices roast beef "we know that Snape is on our side, well, sort of. Maybe. I think." his cheeks flushed as he trailed off.
"Thank you Ron, That was very convincing" Hermione rolled her eyes and turned to Harry "I am sure that Madam Hooch will be the deciding factor in the whole thing. Besides, there's no way he can keep you off the team."
For his part Harry sat there looking up at the staff table, wondering why it was always Snape. Something occurred to him as he saw Madam Hooch talking excitedly to the brooding Professor. "Where's Professor Vexus?"
Both Hermione and Ron had their mouths full so neither was in a position to answer. That didn't stop Ron "I don't know. I saw her come in earlier."
"Shut your mouth Ron," Hermione had swallowed and made a face at Ron. "I saw her come in too. As a matter of fact Madam Hooch is in her seat. That's odd."
"She's been sitting there." supplied Ron. "Ever since Vexus stopped showing up for the meals."
Harry was still watching Hooch and Snape. He quickly looked down as the Potions Master's dark eyes met his own. He started filling his plate and didn't look back up for several moments. When he did Snape was still looking at him. Harry looked over at Hermione and mumbled, "He's already glaring at me. This is going to be awful. I can feel it."
At the staff table Severus was counting down until he could make his escape. He had caught Potter staring and had given the boy a rather nasty look in return. 'Probably thinks that I am still out to get him or something.' fumed Snape 'I am risking my life for his sake and he and those other two look at me as if I am the Dark Lord himself.'
Madam Hooch had stopped the conversation to take a bite of carrots and Snape took his chance. He stood and left the hall quickly heading for the dungeons. As he walked along he went over the events of the past few weeks. He was concerned about Vexus, but 'Damn it, if she wants to act like a fool its fine with me. Let her get herself killed.' he thought. 'I am sick or trying with her. I don't need it anyway. I am Severus Snape, darkness and evil personified. Everybody knows I don't even want anybody else around me. Much less her of all people.'
His robes swished as he walked quickly. He did still want to find out more about what had happened at that Muggle house though. It was one thing that he couldn't shove off to the side. He decided that he may as well get it over with, at least now there wouldn't be any distractions with the rest of the school in the hall. He turned a corner and went off towards her office. When he arrived there the door was closed and locked. He banged on it; there was no answer. 'She must be in there, she usually works late." he took out his wand "Alohamora." the lock lifted but the door still wouldn't open. Scowling he stood there trying to figure out what password she could be using. After several moments he chose. He had to be right; if he gave the wrong password the door would probably give off some sort of alarm.
He took a breath and said "Beatles"
He smiled wickedly as the door creaked open. He could still remember the expression on her face when he had ridiculed her jeans and t-shirt all those years ago. He stopped smiling as the memory of the following days filled his mind. He stepped into the office and muttered "lumos" to light the interior.
It was obvious that Vexus wasn't there 'Unless she's taken to grading papers in the dark.'
After pulling the door closed and re-locking it her went to the classroom its self, and was met with he same result.
Snape became increasingly annoyed when every place he looked yielded nothing. No Vexus. Anywhere. He had even checked the tower. As he made his way back down the stairs he grumbled out loud "Must be her chambers then" The reason he had been all over the school was that he was avoiding going there. He didn't want to be in that room.
When he had taken her back to her chambers after her episode with the Dark Lord he had noticed the state of the room. For all of the darkness he kept wrapped around him, his chambers still had their decorations. He hadn't gone so far as to strip the room bare.
Resigned to complete his task he made way down the echoing corridors. A noise behind him made him turn quickly and pull out his wand. "Who's there?" There was no answer.
He backtracked up the hall and around the corner. Snape spent several moments inspecting the large hallway. He found nothing and proceeded to Vexus' chambers. He knocked on the heavy door and heard noises from inside. Momentarily the door opened and Vexus stood before him. Looking a little disheveled he noted.
"What can I do for you Professor?" he tone was perfectly innocent. She looked a little flushed, as if she had been running. He thought 'She wasn't at the feast... Looks like she's out of breath too.'
"Are you all right? I noticed you weren't at the feast and you look like you've been running." he was just as innocent as she when he spoke.
She narrowed her eyes at him but answered sweetly 'I'm fine, Professor. Thank you for being concerned. Is there anything else I can do for you?"
Snape made his move and brushed past her into the room, only to see Peregrine sitting at the table with several books opened before her. "Hello Severus. Is this visit for business or pleasure?" She grinned and looked past him to Vexus.
Snape looked from one to the other and felt a pounding start in the back of his skull. "Professor Wulf, I need to have a word with Vexus, alone. If you'll excuse us." He turned his gaze back to the table. His eyes flicked across the books and he thought 'none of those have anything to do with each other. Odd.'
Peregrine stood up and walked past him, when she reached Vexus she paused "Remember what we talked about. What you need to do."
A twisted smile came over Vexus' face "Of course, I look forward to getting underway. We'll talk again tomorrow. Goodnight, Peregrine."
Professor Wulf nodded and stepped out into the hallway. Vexus waited a moment before she closed the door and crossed the room to begin putting the books up. Snape just watched he silently.
"I'll ask again Severus, what can I do for you? You must want something, you don't come to my chambers on social calls." She gathered up the last book and put it back on the shelf. She pulled the chair over nearer the bed and motioned for Snape to sit. She sat on the edge of her bed and looked up at him. "Are you going to sit down?"
Glancing around the room for another chair Severus realized that there was only one, seeing his expression Vexus laughed "Yes, just the one chair. I don't have very much company and I didn't want to make it comfortable for those who do want to visit."
Snape made his way to the chair and sat "Antisocial?" he growled.
"I'm not antisocial, I just don't like people." Vexus quipped.
"I wanted to ask you about what happened at the Muggle house that night you went to the Dark Lord. I need to know if he had you do anything." Snape got right to the point.
"He killed them. A couple. Husband and wife, there was one other with us, but I don't know who it was. They kept their mask on the whole time. He used all the curses and finally killed them." She did her best to keep her hands still in her lap, but they seemed to have a mind of their own and Snape noted the tremble. "I think that he just wanted to show me first hand what he was capable of. Like a warning, sort of. I told you that he doesn't fully trust you. Of course I don't think that he fully trusts anyone. But especially those who didn't wind up in Azkaban. Even Malfoy is on his bad side."
Severus considered this for a moment. He absently began massaging the back of his neck; the sudden headache was threatening to be an unmerciful one. "And what about the Mark?" he asked.
Vexus out her hand over the spot on her left arm as she replied "He just asked me why I thought you didn't want me to have it and he made a comment that yours shouldn't burn when we touch anymore." She watched his eyes as she said the last words. He scowled and glared at her "How did he know that in the first place?"
Vexus stood up and walked to the closet. She began pulling off her outer robes. "I told him. He asked about why you might not want me to have it. That's all." she tossed the robes into a large basket for the house elves to pick up and pulled out a new set, which she hung on a small hook on the inside of the door. She went back to the bed and stretched out on her stomach.
Snape watched her warily 'She hasn't been this relaxed with me in a long time.' He let his eyes move down her body. She was wearing a pair of black pants that seemed to be painted on and a plain, short sleeved black shirt. He cursed him self inwardly 'Fool. Don't let yourself get into something you can't get out of. Even if she is right about the Mark..."
Vexus broke his concentration when she spoke again "Severus," she had been looking at the floor and now raised her eyes to meet his "I know that I have been acting like an, excuse my language, complete bitch lately. I don't know which way is up some days and I don't intend for you to be on the receiving end of my mood swings."
He held her gaze and was careful not to let anything show on his face. "Apology accepted. You have been unnecessarily short with me. We are still supposed to be working together. And we have work to do." He stood up and began pacing "Surely the Dark Lord knows about the Quidditch try-out. Why Albus insists on having them here is beyond my comprehension. However, we are going to have to deal with it. And with me one of the coordinators for the exhibition"
Vexus interrupted "Exhibition? Like exhibition match?"
Snape shot her an annoyed look "Yes, if you had been in the staff room more often lately you'd know about it. Madam Hooch and myself are the coordinators. AND if you would attend meals I wouldn't have to put up with her sitting there going on and on about it everyday for the past two weeks."
Vexus laughed out loud suddenly and Snape just stared at her "Have you lost your mind? What's funny?"
She managed to stop long enough to give him a withering look "I just think that it's funny. Severus can we discuss this in the morning? I want to go to sleep all of a sudden." She slid off the bed and led him to the door. "I really just need to be alone and I need to get some rest. Can you come back in the morning? Good. See you then." Before he could stop it Severus found himself shoved out the door and standing in the hall with the door closed in his face. 'What in the name of Merlin is going on with her?' he thought as he briefly entertained the notion of kicking the door in.
Back inside Vexus had lain back down on the bed and was laughing. It was not a happy laugh, it was that kind of scary laugh, the one you hear in the halls of psychiatric wards in the middle of the night. Thankfully the door was heavy enough to prevent Severus from hearing it.
The following morning Snape went back to her chamber and knocked loudly on the door. He heard her call out for him to enter. He pushed the door open and entered. He looked around but did not see Vexus. "Where are you?" He didn't go any deeper into the room.
Her voice rang out from the bathroom "I am finishing my bath, be out in a moment."
"Perhaps I should wait outside," he began.
She sounded irritated as she yelled back "You've seen me nearly undressed before, remember? Or has time erased those memories?"
Severus scowled and crossed over to the chair. It was still in the same place it had been the night before. He spent the following minutes doing his best to get in as nasty a mood as possible. He wanted to make sure that she understood that he didn't appreciate her behavior towards him lately. So Snape sat and thought about all the things in the world that made him fume: Potter. Father AND Son. Sirius Black. Voldemort. Neville Longbottom. Valentines Day (he hadn't received so much as a card in over twenty-five years.) Weasleys (all of them.) Cornelius Fudge. Remus Lupin. His life in general.
He could feel it working, soon he was so riled up he had to stand and pace. As he crossed the room he walked by the bathroom door that was partially open. He reflexively looked and his timing couldn't have been better. Or worse. Depending on your perspective, of course. Vexus was out of the bath and was wringing out her hair over the tub. She hadn't picked up the towel yet and was still wet. And naked. Severus was mesmerized by a bead of water running down her back and then, reaching her hip, traveling slowly down her leg. He let his gaze travel back up to her shoulders then down again. He paused when he noticed the small tattoo on her lower back just above her...'In the name of Merlin' he whispered, he shuddered and jumped back in shame. If she had turned around and seen him. 'I don't believe I just did that.' he frantically thought.
He heard feet on the tiles and turned his back to the door, as if studying the tapestries across the room. Expect there weren't any to examine.
The door flew open and Vexus stood there in a long robe. She had apparently used a drying spell on her hair, as there were no traces of moisture. She looked at Snape and then across the room to the empty wall he was studying. She raised her eyebrow "Severus, do you have a decorating suggestion?"
He snapped his head towards her and spat "No, I was wondering what kind of person rips the hangings off the walls."
Her faced turned red and she put her hands on her hips "A dangerous one, Severus. Don't you forget it."
She spun on her heel towards the closet but was stopped by his hand on her elbow. He flung her around and silkily said, "Is that some sort of threat? If it was, then you don't know me nearly as well as you think you do."
The tension between them filled the room; Vexus yanked her arm out of his grip, pulled back and slapped him across the face. She stood there defiantly glaring at him. Daring him to do anything.
He pulled out his wand and before she could react he shoved her over to the chair. He quickly spoke a binding spell and stepped back. For good measure he deiced to use a little gag spell too.
Vexus sat in the chair glaring at him, she knew it was no use struggling or trying to speak. She didn't have her wand and it had been a long time since she tried any complicated spells without it.
Snape crossed his arms and considered her for a moment. "What do you think you're doing? I am beginning to wonder if maybe you should be in St. Mungo's. Running around off the grounds, abusing your fellow instructors. Missing meals. Avoiding the students and the rest of the school."
Vexus narrowed her eyes at him and tried to remember the correct counter for the binding spell he used. Snape sat down on the edge of the bed across from her.
"I think that there is more going on here than you want to admit," he growled.
'Reversius? No that's not it' thought Vexus.
"I think that you need to take a look at which side you're supposed to be on..."
'Untieitum! No that's not the one'
"I have truth serum and I will use it..."
'Releasiando!' Vexus felt the invisible grip on her body loosen. 'I'm not focused enough' she thought 'Releasiando! Releasiando!'
Snape continued, "Now, when I take off the gag spell we're going to come clean and you're going to reassure me that you aren't having any doubts." He reached for his wand and pointed it at her.
'Come on Severus, that's it, take off the gag' she inwardly sneered
Snape mumbled the counter and no sooner did the words leave his mouth than Vexus shouted "RELEASIANDO!"
She was free and dived forward; knocking him back onto the bed. She grabbed at his wand, but missed. Snape was caught off guard and the impact and following struggle knocked the wand from his hand. It landed on the floor several feet away. Vexus saw it and made to go for it. Snape saw it as well and grabbed her first. He rolled over and Vexus found herself pinned and wrapped in the wizard's robes.
"You bastard! Get off of me! NOW!!!" She wriggled but he was much heavier and stronger than he looked. "Severus, I mean it get off."
"If you swear not to attack me again" he snarled, his face inches away from her own.
Vexus felt his hair hanging down and brushing up against her face. She was aware of his body against her own, she squirmed and got one of her hands free. She reached up, grabbed a handful of his hair and jerked back hard as she could. She smiled wickedly at his yelp of pain and surprise. She got her other hand free and took another handful of hair. Pulling back, Vexus got him to push away enough to get out from under him.
Diving for the wand she came up with it a moment before Severus grabbed her again. She spoke the first thing that popped into her head "Wingardium Leviosa!"
Snape found himself hanging in midair with Vexus snickering at him. She guided him down into the chair and used the same gag and binding spells he had used on her to restrain him. "So you wanted to have a little talk?"
She circled around behind the chair, leaned down over his shoulder so she could whisper in his ear "Severus, I have no doubts or confusion about my loyalty. I know exactly where it lies, and so should you. Before you come in here snatching me around and tying me up you should decide if you are doing that because you're genuinely concerned about me or if it's because you are a bitter, depressing git who thinks everyone else is as corrupted as he is." She smiled and lowered the tone of her voice "You know, having you tied up like this makes me want to misbehave." She stood up and came back around the chair, trailing her fingernail along the side of his face.
Snape narrowed his eyes at her and Vexus was sure that if he wasn't gagged she would learn every curse and hex she would ever need to know. She watched him for a moment. "Severus, this is stupid. We don't hate each other, and this business is ridiculous. WE have to trust each other, especially doing what we're doing, if we begin to distrust each other we'll go insane. Besides," she slumped down on the bed "I don't want to fight you. There are many other things ahead of fighting on the list of things I want to do with you." She smirked at him and his discomfort at that revelation. With a sigh she lifted the wand and countered the gag curse. "Severus, can we play nice? If you want to talk, lets talk, O.K.?"
"Fine." Snape said softy "now let me up and we'll go over what our next move is."
She released him and held out the wand for him to take it back. Snape shifted in the chair and took the wand from her. There were a few moments of silence before he continued, "Vexus, come here."
Puzzled, she stood up and took a step forward.
"One more. Closer."
She took the last step and was standing right in front of him, "Severus, what do you want?" she asked, sounding slightly annoyed.
Snape reached out, grabbed her wrists and pulled her down to him; with her face so close he could feel her breathe he whispered, "I wonder if you still feel like 'misbehaving'?"
She looked him in the eye "I don't know if that's exactly appropriate now. Or ever, really. I was just teasing."
His voice like silk, he responded, "No, it's probably not appropriate. Which is exactly why I'm going to." He stood up quickly took a step forward and pushed her down into the bed. He still had his wand in his hand, and he gagged her again. Snape sneered, "I think you deserve a taste of your own medicine. You've been tormenting me for years. Ever since I had to risk my neck to get you from the Dark Lord. All through your years here. You were always there taunting me. If anyone should've been, or had the capacity to be, as evil as possible it was you. But you weren't. You were stronger than I had been, and you were Voldemort's own flesh and blood." Snape had her wrists in a vise-like grip, so Vexus pulled her leg up to kick at him; he climbed on top of her and pinned her legs down as well.
He kept talking like a floodgate had been opened within him and unless he got the words out he'd drown. "Even when you found out about Him, you took the noble course, you left. Others would've lapped up the power. Would've gone to find him. But not you. Not Vexus, too good to do something like that. Too proud of give in to the chance. I succumbed to the power. I killed, I tortured; I lost my SOUL because of it. Years and years wasted. I'll never get them back, I'll never be able to shake it."
Vexus stopped struggling and listened to him rant. She had never seen him like this. Passionate and enraged, it scared her a little.
Snape bent his head down to hiss in her ear "I hated you, I hated myself. I was mean and spiteful and did all I could to make you miserable, and then what happened? You won. I caved in and let myself start to care about you. To FEEL something again."
Snape laid his head on her shoulder and kept on, 'May as well get it all out' he thought bitterly.
"When we kissed, I felt like I had found something, someone to help me lose the pain. Instead He was there. In my very body, burning me. Always reminding me that I didn't deserve to receive anything other than the same pain I had caused. When He killed your family deep down I was almost happy. That you would have to feel what I feel. The loss. The misery. The guilt." he wound down and lay against her, he was exhausted from his confession and he closed his eyes. She was still in the robe and it had opened up at the neck during their struggles. He could smell her hair and her skin was soft and cool against his cheek.
Vexus' eyes had widened in shock at his last words, she wanted to scream at him, "What gives you the right to be happy about my suffering?' her mind screamed. She started to fight him again and it snapped him back to awareness.
Snape pushed himself back up and glared down at her. Seeing the rage in Vexus' eyes he laughed coldly "I had almost changed my mind, but I see that look, I see how much you hate me now." he released one of her hands and took the wand again. He bound her then sat back, straddling her.
'You can do this, you've done worse. And it's to teach her a lesson. Nobody crosses you, nobody assumes that they have the right to know you like she thinks she does.' he thought as he untied the robe and started to push it open. Snape looked at her face again and saw that she had closed her eyes.
He snarled at her "No, you don't get to be noble this time. I want to hurt you. I want you to beg me for forgiveness." he spoke the counter curse and waited for her to scream at him. Vexus just lay there with her eyes closed. "Did you hear me? Tell me no, tell me to stop. Fight me."
She opened her eyes and said "No Severus. Stop." there was pity in her voice. For him, not herself. He sat there his hands gripping the robe his eyes locked with hers. With a noise of disgust he stood up and walked across the room. He heard her mumble the word to release the binding spell and she rose. He watched her tie the robe then he turned his back. Snape leaned his head against the wall. 'I am fortune's fool.' He had always liked Shakespeare (even though he was a Muggle) and the line seemed appropriate. 'What have I done this time, how much of an idiot am I have told her all that.' he thought miserably.
He didn't hear her footsteps and flinched when he felt the hand on his shoulder. She pulled on him and he turned to face her. "Leave me alone." he spat.
Vexus looked at him, her brow furrowed. "Severus, I am sorry. I had no idea. If I'd known it was like that I'd have never come back here. I don't want you to hurt like this because of me."
He had looked away and she took his chin in her hand to make him look at her. His eyes were so dark. 'So miserable. I have never seen pain like that in another person.' she mused.
"Severus, please, don't shut me out too. Please, I don't want you to." Vexus could hear her voice crack. She stepped closer to him and slid her arms around his waist. Snape didn't move.
She turned her face into his chest and inhaled deeply. "Severus, please, please, don't do this. You don't have to live like that. I know that you think you do, that it's your burden to bear, but you don't have to." She left him lean into her slightly and she continued, "None of us are perfect. You said that you succumbed to the power, well so did I. Do you want to know what happened that night? I'll tell you," she rushed the words just to get them out. "At first I just watched what they did to that couple. Then Voldemort told me to try, and I did." She felt tears in her eyes and she wiped them away on his robe "I used the impervious curse, on both of them. And I liked it. I liked having the control over someone else. I was sick later, but in that moment, I loved the pure power I had over those people. I killed them too. Oh, I didn't get them to Death's door but when the moment came I spoke the curse." she shuddered at the memory and pulled away from him. Vexus went to the bed at sat down on the edge with her head in her hands. "Don't be too hard on yourself over me, I'm no better than any other person." She raised her head and looked at him, he looked so serious she couldn't stop herself from going on "Smarter and prettier? Yes. Better overall? No."
Despite himself Snape smirked, "Smart-ass."
Vexus grinned, "'Till the day I die."
He crossed the room and sat down next to her "What now?"
Vexus looked at him, still grinning "This." She reached over, took his face in her hands and kissed him softly.
Snape started to pull away, thinking about the Mark. In his arm there was a kind of tingle, it wasn't painful. Once he realized it didn't burn, he returned the kiss. But Vexus broke away and asked "Severus, did it hurt that time?"
He shook his head "No" and reached out to pull her up against him. They kissed again, this time with the release of their pent up torment. Vexus pushed the outer robes off his shoulders and reached up to start unfastening the buttons going down the front of his clothes. "Damn you Severus, why do you need so many buttons?"
He pushed her away, took his wand and spoke a few words, instantly the buttons were undone. Vexus helped him get out of the clothes and soon he was standing before her fully exposed. Moving his eyes over her he scowled "You have me at a disadvantage, Madam."
Vexus got off the bed and made Severus sit back down. She untied the sash of the robe and slowly let it slide off. He took her in his arms and pulled her down to him. As he kissed her neck he smiled at the soft sigh that escaped her lips. Snape slid his hands up her arms, down over her shoulders and to her waist. He lay back on the bed and guided her down over him, instinct took over and they began to move together.
"Severus" she leaned down to whisper it in his ear, "You know that I would've let you earlier."
"I know" he murmured and brushed his lips across her collarbone. "I know."
She arched back and moaned as his hands stroked her skin.
