Evil Hill (A parody by yours truly)

Written by the devoted gamers and staff of www.evil-online.com

Produced in honor of them by OutlawZero2002

Chapter I, Part I

"HOLD IT HOLD IT HOOOOOLD IT!" The policewoman screamed. Everyone turned and looked at her.
"Why aren't you AH! OH! talking like a slug?" Claire asked.
"Um sorry I don't know what came over me," the cop replied, "I'm Cybil Bennet, I'm a cop..."
"..well, duh!" the mate cop snorted, "I'm Leon Kennedy, I'm with the RPD. Look Cybil, I think you need to be a good little submissive woman and let me handle all the dirty work."
"PIG!" Claire exclanued, kicking Leon in the groin. Leon fell over, groaning in pain.
"Have you seen--"
"SHUT UP!" Cybil screamed "err.......... uhm..no, I haven't." Claire looked over at Cybil and sniiled.
"..Hey, I got a missing person case I need help with. Can you help me find my brother?"
"...sure, I'd love to," Cybil responded.
"Claire, are you nuts?" Leon exclaimed, still gripping his crotch, "There's all sorts of monsters out there that thing that got Harry"
"I'm right here..." Harry replied, his idiotic grin still plastered to his face.
"Not YOU the other Harry!" Leon snapped; Cybil quietly walked up to Leon and handed him the script. Leon pulled out a cigarette.
"WHO THE F**K CHANGED THE SCRIPT!??" he screamed. He took a drag off his smoke, then looked at the director. "Can we do that again?"
The director rolled his eyes and cued the camera.
--------------
...... Leon started, "including that thing the that got Ben. Now why don't you and Cybil be good submissive little women and let me and our mongoloid buddy here go out there and kick some zombie ass?"
Cybil savagely beat Leon with her nightstick in reply. The two women beat Leon to the point of unconsciousness and left the cafe, leaving Harry alone with his thoughts and the pummeled Mr. Kennedy.
"But ... what ... about ... my ... kilbasa?" Harry whined. When his brain finally registered that the two women were gone, he shrugged and walked out of the cafe and into the unknown.
------------------
Chapter I is now 55% done and so I'll move on Chapter II soon enough. I didn't know I could type this fast. I'm also kind of busy with writing the script for the next installment in the Metal Gear series, but I will have PART II (not Chapter II) done before the 18th.